₦airaland Forum

GreatResearcher:
Marriage is a formal union and social and legal contract between two individuals that unites their lives legally.

Marriage can also be defined as a legally accepted relationship between two people in which they live together.

You musn't live with your partner forever to make it a marriage.

Once a union between two or more partners (either same sex or not) is legally acknownledaged irrespective of how long the union lasts, it's called marriage.

So I don't understand what u meant by I don't want marriage when I've said my union with the person would be legal with court wedding involved.

You're an atheist, so you see nothing sacred about marriage (marriage is just something you can check in and out of at any time). Worse yet, you're checking in with the intention of checking out at XYZ date; it's that bad. You see it from an atheistic point of view. If you got married and divorced that's a moral failing but if you want to get married with the intention of checking out later, I don't know how to describe this. Get married and start having babies or don't altogether. Better still, go for the IVF option, but don't mock this sacred institution God created by using it as a means to your own selfish end.

GreatResearcher:
If u read the topic of the thread carefully u will see marriage in it. And on the 1st page I said getting married and have a traditional wedding, court wedding and a legal child. I dont know where u see where I said I want a legal child but don't want marriage. Quote that place u saw it let me modify it. Thanks

When you want marriage just because you want a kid, and when you have the kid, you check out; should it be said that you want marriage? Marriage is just the means to an end but not the end itself and when you get the end, you smear the union; what's that? Answer yourself, do you want marriage?

GreatResearcher:
I am not worried about relatives. I am concerned about forfeitin my inheritance to someone else.

If u read my posts from 1st page u will see where I said dat court wedding is involved and that I don't want a child out of wedlock. So I don't understand ur question on having a child out of wedlock and Nigerian constitution

Your asking for a way to have your cake and eat it too-- not get married but have a legal child which is not permmisible under the Nigerian constitution.

GreatResearcher:
Bro u think I would go through this long and expensive route to get a child if I wanted a child? At least I know where to adopt.
But I need a legal child. That's the requirement to retain an inheritance.

Is there any way one can have a legal child without wedding?

I am to get married, do wedding have a child before my family see me as responsible and worthy to take over my inheritance and if I don't do that, the inheritance will be tranfered to my half blood.

You're worried about your relatives' opinion on your marriage and kids instead of worrying more about your standing with God. What a world!!! Channel that energy to more productive things like, most importantly, God, Heaven, Hell, eternity, and your standing with God.

[quote author=GreatResearcher post=75383492]Is there any way one can have a legal child without wedding? [\quote]

The Nigerian constitution doesn't recognize children born out of wedlock, so how can you get a child without, at the very least, a court marriage? None!!

victorian:
Every woman wants what's good for herself likewise a man too. But the most handsome man if he decides not to be educated and also decides to be poor? That's his problem and his decision.
Because God has given everybody the mandate to be great and have dominion over lesser things and animals in life, by if such person was either unfortunate to be born in a family that don't believe in education or the person was somewhat lazy to educate himself and re-brand himself, well I won't blame any woman who wouldn't want him

The way I look and behave years back is different and more refined now. I use to stammer before in every sentence I say but today I speak fluently. And I appear more exotic. You know why? Because I vow to myself I want to be and appear the best I can be. I want to be a fluent speaker, so stammer get behind me! I prayed about it and started understanding myself and dig deep of why do I stammer. I found the answer and I completely destroyed it.
I'm a graduate because my forced me to take jamb, if not I would have been a stark illiterate sewing people's clothes for peanuts.
I decided to train myself in some aspects of my life and my mum also added her own into my life, coupled with God's protection and Grace. There are lots of woman and even like me out there. For me to go through life and re-brand myself, do u think I would want to marry a stark illiterate because he's handsome?
Hell no!
There are stark illiterate men out there who have money and they are very fine, but unfortunately I can't marry such men because our thinking won't be the same. His thought process about handling marriage and women will be low, and I bet u he won't be able to contain his anger , it will be his Law in the house and no other. And lemme tell you, women like me don't believe in its either your Law or no other. I have a say in the union as well. But he wouldnt see it that way.
That's why most women would rather choose an educated, successful man or even with potentials, whether fine or excessively ugly to an illiterate man who is either successful or poor.
Because of the mindset. Everything is not all about money.


If not? All the women, Op has met should have quickly said yes! I accept and sell their future for a pot of porridge. That's the plain truth.
A Ghana lady asked how much in dollars? She weigh the odds and feel mehn I can't sell my future and present for some thousands of naira. Hell no!

So Op should start talking in dollars, maybe women will rush and take up his offer.

You didn't stop stammering because you figured it out or because you got refined or re-branded or educated, ma. You got refined because God healed you, and God could heal anyone, too, whether educated or uneducated. That's what I am saying:

victorian:
For me to go through life and re-brand myself, do u think I would want to marry a stark illiterate because he's handsome?
Hell no!

You're simply objectifying intelligence here, not much difference. If he's not intelligent and... then I cannot marry him, hahaha. Just because money isn't among your must-haves doesn't mean you're not entering the contract on your must-haves. It's just something else now, not money, you know and you are still not saying that you can marry a poor wretch which reinforces the position of money on even the most conservative leaning females. So how are you different from a lady who says "he must have money, very handsome, religious etc, etc" It's the same thing, you see, you simply ommited one.

Most people on NL are males so you don't expect him to meet a partner here so easily especially when he gives an extra weird condition; even in advanced countries, the vast majority of users who surf the web are males so it doesn't invalidate my opinion. Since you admitted no to my hypothetical question, too, I think we're on the same page, haha. I'm not saying it is wrong to look out for must-haves in a suitor, I'm only arguing against the decision to check out eventually.

victorian:
And you honestly think, there is a woman in Nigeria willing to donate her eggs? Her eggs means one of her child o. For how much? Lemme ask Are u truly a Nigerian? Or do u honestly live in Nigeria? Cause it seems everyone is screaming woman love money, woman love money! Women can die because of money o! Just have money and women will starts falling on your laps! Lol! Really?

Anyways this scenario will make everyone understands, women no love money reach that level. Na men love money more than anything in this world, even more than themselves, aka money ritualists, killing women up and down cos of money.
Prostitutes won't agree. They will even call him, money ritualist and run. And he wants to use their womb.

So please let's tell him truth and stop sugar coating things.

I was just looking through your profile where you called the guy a joker; hahaha, I am not advising him to go through with my opinion. Although I really don't see anything wrong with contract marriage if both parties are not agreeing to divorce each other which is what he's insisting. That's where I find problematic. Many, many marriages these days are contract marriages (you size up the advantages in our mind before we say yes) . The average woman loves money more then anything obviously and that's how you objectify men. It doesn't make you a gold digger; you become a gold digger if you go into it with the intention of checking out (either by killing your spouse or divorcing him). Men also objectify women in different ways but one way we do that is fixating our decisions on bodily endowments. It's just part of who we are as humans and it....


Yes or no hypothetical question: Can you marry a stark church-rat who's also uneducated, religious, and no prospects for the future even though he's the most handsome idiot in the planet? Would his handsomeness put food on the table or make you stick around for long? Even one woman I know said, no. Would you choose him even if you loved him like crazy over a very educated but somewhat ugly and well-to-do man whom you don't really love? The answer is no obviously, so dear, speak for yourself, you cannot speak for the vast majority of women.

GreatResearcher:
Is it not better to let her know what she's goin into? Am just trying to be honest. Don't u think not lettin her know my intention would bring a problem in future? Pls wat good way should I go about it?

I made this post on my fbk and a girl shown interest. We started chatting and exchanging contacts. She claimed she's an atheist. The day I called her and explained what d marriage entails, she shouted 'JESUS'. To me, that was a redflag. No atheist will call that name. And if I didn't let her know my motive problem would have occurred after wedding..

You don't need a wedding to have a child. You don't even have to copulate, looks like you're threading a somewhat emotional and long area that has many possibilities. Look for a woman who would be willing to donate her eggs and a surrogate willing to carry the baby to terms. Why are you going through the marriage route since you call yourself an atheist? Is it really necessary?

Sure, it would be more expensive but I don't think you...

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baridamben:
I care about what the facts of the matter are, because sometimes it takes a political witch-hunt to do the right thing in this country. It was a political witch-hunt that removed Kemi Adeosun as Finance Minister, it was a political witch-hunt that removed Babachir Lawal as the number 5 citizen of this country. So if it would take another political witch-hunt to remove a corrupt Chief Justice I don't care. While not caring about the so called witch-hunt, I care only if the process of the witch-hunt is legal and procedurally correct so that the precedences we set does not come back to hunt us tomorrow.

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Zdoh:
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RealDonaldTrump:
The way we reason here in America......Nigerians will not get to that level in 100 years

Will you keep quiet!! What is so special about the depraved thinking of the American people?

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noble71:
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SolutionMee:


But I'm not in the military.

Nonetheless, if given such a priceless opportunity, I'll make Jesus proud "even on the battlefield."

Do people die because they're worse sinners than others? Manasseh reigned as king for 55 years (he probably lived to a ripe old age) and yet he did so much to provoke the Lord God of Israel for the most part of his life; he probably orchestrated and went to battle and emerged the victor many times. On the other hand, Josiah lived a very devout life, ripping off the altars of Baal and living devoutly before his God, and yet he died in the battle field suddenly (that was why Jeremiah wrote Lamentations). There are so many many Kings especially in the northern part of Israel in biblical times who lived very, very displeasing lives and lived to old age; while good and devoutees died before their prime. It often happens my friend, it happens. Do not base your longevity on your righteous deeds, or think God must necessarily shield you when hard times strike; you'd sooner abandon the faith, I am telling you

Do you think those who died when the tower in Siloam fell were worse sinners than all the others who died, Jesus ask, no was the answer, obviously. Righteous men have died in battle (David was only an inch away), died of a disease (Hezekiah was almost there), died suddenly, died mysteriously and it doesn't make them less righteous. Good and bad times strike all, believers and unbelievers, your righteous deed may not shield you if it's God's will and sometimes it would not.

noble71:
2018 taught me never to be greedy! Lost 6 Million naira to cryptocurrency Trading cus of greed.

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Ecashserviceltd:
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gowaga68:
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timexkaka:
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[quote author=Fret18 post=73733463][/quote]Don't you think telling that guy above me the salary range could encourage other applicants? I am not based in Imo but if they pay really well I'm ready to move.

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