₦airaland Forum

always best to stick to your level (even if its due to life circumstance n no fault of the school cert leaver). I'm nt a snub or anything but one has to be realistic. There is a reason why most politician wives r lawyers n highly qualified women its because like minds tend to build eachother up.
Also it saves loads of embarassments there r so many things a graduate wld b exposd to that a skool cert person wld b clueless about n its nt jst academics it includes etiquette n discipline. Ofcos it depends on what you are doin wit urself n ur life if u wnt b minglin much then it wnt matter but think bout office parties n official dinner parties etc

tell her in pigeon english n husky voice "omo recession dey for town" that shld get the point across

live execution

man this is a gateway for the girl to insult you if you collect the money. Firstly it will be a whole weight off her shoulders cos she obviously feels guilty that you have spent money on her n her fam and once she gives you back the money she will feel that she owes you nothing more and will probably go around town degrading you mentioning the fact that she paid you back. I think however that you should still collect the full amount from her (you have nothing to lose and you need to teach her a lesson) but to save face ask her to address it to your chosen orphanage or charity. People like that aint worth the sweat they always live to regret.

dangerous quitting ur job for a man i kno someone that did and it is now telling on her. If it is putting a strain on the marriage then i might but it would be safe to have a formal contract to have some form of financial compensation (substantial payment) from the husband just to make sure it is not a way for him to remove the woman's "options".

abrakadabra

checkmate? oh sori wrong game

welcome to my world we fight n fight n fight over silly things but i kno d issue is really about one "thing". I don't know if it is normal but it sure aint healthy time to move on i say

after 5 months and she is already straying? what if you get a job that requires you to travel alot? abeg painful as it may be cut her loose,

So is it that you want someone to tell you that you should take your ex back or what?
You said that there is no way you are going back to him so then move on completely! no point even communicating with him if he is demanding more than you are willing to give. Even if he trully loves and he regrets it's a case of "too little too late" let him go discuss with God!

are you kidding? honeymoon is necessary evn if only to decompress from the stress of weddn plannin n as a focal point of all the things romantic + future free time from work will b few and far between better take the opportunity now that you can especially without having to think about the stress and expense of kids.

I am beginning to think that Nigerian guys are being indoctrinated or maybe from experience to think the worst of Nigerian girls. It is only recently that i am realising that most Nigerian girls in Nigeria are really very dishonest! they front alot, play games alot, lie alot, cheat like they are guys or prostitutes and they would do almost anything for money. Now this bothers me cos it is spoiling market for correct, simple girls like me cos when we come on the scene being ourselves to Nija guys they automatically think girl is faking or not street wise. Have the dating rules irrevocably changed? and is this what Nija guys secretly love?

If you guys had remained friends after the break up and your wife knew about her then why not?

BUT, why would she not invite your wife? she obviously knows you are now married doesn't she? and since you have to question telling your wife about the invite then i suspect something is not quite right here. So don't GO simple! its inappropriate.

Cheating is when the feeling your partner has for you is being reduced because he/she is developing more feelings for someone else. So it depends on whatever stage that occurs it could be the moment your partner starts talking to someone else or after having sex with that person. The moment they start liking you less and liking someone else more then cheating has occured. It is also when your reaction or feeling no longer guide their actions.

Personally i rather not bother involving the Nija woman what r u 2 gain from informin her? if u r hopin 4 her 2 break up wit him i think it is unlikely since she will b of the view that afterall he is with her and not you plus evn if they break up plenty of babes for him to move on to in Nij. You can ofcos tell her if you want to be a good samaritan n u suspect that she might be clueless about ur existence and blah blah.

Your best bet is to try n get the guy to cum over to the US under any excuse u cn cook up (i hv a few ideas but i rather nt share it on here) then b prepared 4 his arrival thats d best way u cn hope 2 get any child support from him. Dude obviously doesn't care about the child anyway

Deep Soul:
I think it should be the reverse question - Is it possibe tp Voluntarily fall out of love.

Involuntarily falling out happens sooner or later for reasons beyond your control. Ther's nothin "off" about it.

Happens everyday. The main issue/problem most pple have is voluntarily falling out of love.

Some pple love pple that they are tired of loving but just cant stop loving

Now, THAT is an issue

well if you voluntarily fall out of love then that's not really a problem cos that is what you want. Involuntarily is when you want to remain in love by force by fire but it is just not working out! now that is "off".

i was thinking it was possible too cos some people are great on paper and you try hard to continue being in love with them but somehow the spark just keeps fading or that could just be fear (of things being too good to be true) that makes one think the spark is nolonger there

it would have been the right the decision if after one year max but three years is an awful long time to string someone along it is a bit selfish i say you should have tried more to make it work

i know it sounds like a weird concept but is it possible to fall out of love if you don't want to?

oops i just saw that you requested guys only reply sorryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

Our family friends actualy do that. They are happily married and all but personally i can't conceive me ever asking my guy to do that, its almost like an insult

well that is inappropriate behaviour, regardless of if they are still having sex or not they both should respect you by not sleeping on the same bed and what is he doing sleeping over for? i always like giving girls benefit of doubt when it comes to cheating cos i can't get my head round why a woman would ever want to cheat on a man she loves but this story sounds suspicious!

stillwater:
People say unwarranted things in the heat of an argument. Let there be room for reconciliation before taking drastic steps like breaking up. Unless he makes a hobby of stripping you of your confidence outside an argument. As for the married couple, the woman allowed it. I guess when she was dating him she acted the "good girl" just to get married.

Well in my book thats veering towards emotional abuse if not that already when a guy starts making you feel inadequate or worthless so it is definitely worth breaking up over.
Re: the wife. U really think by a woman acting like a "good girl" just to get married equates tolerating rubbish and isn't that what every girl does? don't we all show our good side most of the time before marriage? anyway this woman is really one of the good ones before and after marriage shah.

Igwe.:
I'm kinda tired right now to pick an argument with you, but pls and pls, next time find the right word, it's not all men.
good night!

yep u r right sleep they catch u i didn't say all men i said alot

My ex in an episode of unwarranted barrage of insults decided to state my age and mention that in all those years I had achieved nothing. In a situation like that what a girl to do? Whip out her c.v., declaration of her investments and statement of her bank account? Anyhoo need I say I broke up with dude immediately.

This incident got me thinking and I noticed that a lot of Nigerian guys especially those that are insecure and afraid to lose a good girl use this tactic a lot. I have several examples of this, for example I know of a married couple where the husband would constantly talk down to his wife when they are in public (with friends) and in any argument he would always carry on like her opinion did not matter and she had no sense at all. But it is this same wife that practically runs their business and is always coming up with fresh ideas. So back to my question, why do guys do this? Jealousy? Insecurity? They don’t appreciate the ladies they have? Or they have another woman outside that is better? Wouldn’t it be better for them to encourage and show love to their ladies?
maybe nairalanders can clue me in?

I think the advises for you to dump someone you love solely based on Genome is silly. If it was beginning of courtship then ofcos you should put it into consideration but after two years and no other reason not to continue dating the girl then its best to just pray and let God take control. I am from a family of 6 only one of us is SS. Yes it is a tough life for both the child and the family especially because every crisis is a life and death situation (there had been times we lost our brother and God brought him back) but i tell you our lives is so much blessed with him around. He has defied the odds and living a healthy life.
Ofcos there is the other side of the coin: my uncle had 3 SS kids all died before age 18 painful but again that is how God willed it. Btw there is no guarantee AA or AS kids will live as long as we would wish either.

Eshyy lets chat jare

Well i hv Eshyy u concentr8 on ur kellorah! p.s. it takes a player to know one!

@ Eshyy na same dude o
@ Ebila d situation is on the first page (scroll down) and subsequent replies by me (pgs 6 and 7)

you and bayol dude suit urself keep jumpn to conclusions that don't make sense. The post is clearly about me liking him not his pocket! also if a guy has a wife what does he want to chat with another girl for? what do you want to chat about? Jesus? don't chop his money just open up sugar pp has spoken!