₦airaland Forum

ceecane2:
Haba bro must u quote d whole episode?

Elvictor:
OGA LANDLORD 21+




Subtitle: Fu*ck Fakers.




Episode 87




Anderson: just like that?

Me: yes na, or you need bomb with guns to kill common snake?

Anderson: boys!

Chima & Isaac: nobody be your boy here oh!

Me: make sure say ona kill am oh, I wonder which kind snake dey chop fowl if no be human being.

I turned and left, I didn't take my car with me because my instincts was totally against it and since am going to meet Governor's wife.
Moving around town with the car will attract more attention and those jobless journalist wey dey fine how to 'cause scandal go use that opportunity.

I waved a bike and he stopped, I hopped in and he started the bike.

Okada-man: oga where you dey go?

Me: drop me for junction there, I wan take motor.

Okada-man: oga, you resemble that man wey dey show for television.

Me: which man be that?

He started the bike and we were moving, the breeze was colossal. I balanced well to see wetin dey for front since I tall pass the man, but any passenger wey no tall pass the bike-man consider yourself short no vex.

Bike-man: the young man wey wan contest for honourable.

Me: oh!

Bike-man: em good oh! old men just dey drag power upadan dey rule us anyhow, thank God young person don enter seat to change somethings.

I kept quiet and studied the man and also discovered that he was old, maybe he is talking from the burnt pot of jealousy or hassles of life.
He dropped me at the junction and I boarded a drop.

My phone rang and I glanced at the screen, it was Madam Stella.

Madam Stella: where are you?

Me: I don almost reach.

I got to the junction of the street and asked the driver to stop me, I came down and trekked to the usual place. I saw it deserted as usual, I wonder if na the woman get this place and anytime she wan use am work go pause.

I only met the gateman and some securities outside, them sabi me already so no one bothered to question me. I waka go the usual room and met Madam Stella on towel with shower cap, her skin looked fresh and she looked like a damsel ripe enough to be eaten.

Me: sweetheart, this is risky, what if someone dey trail me?

Madam Stella: I know.

She beamed and walked towards the side table swaying her big bu-ttocks, she picked up her phone and dialed a number and placed the call on loudspeaker.

Voice: mama de mama.

Madam Stella: Spider, how far?

Voice: na Okoye send am.

Madam Stella: delete.

I heard three straight gun shots and a loud groan which meant that the person caught had been killed instanta, the funny thing be say Madam Stella seem like someone who doesn't even regard killing as anything.

She wore a se-x me smile and dropped down her towel, her round fair firm bre-ats stood firm with her ni-pples pointing at me. I scrolled my eyes down her shaved pu-ssy and I swallowed loving the red toto am seeing.

Madam Stella: stop staring and come have it raw.

I quickly pulled my shirt and trouser, make sure am naked with my di-ck swaying.
She turned and gave me her bu-ttocks, I placed a palm on her back and she got the message.

She bent and held her toes her a-ss pushed upward and the lips of her red pu-ssy spread, I rubbed my di-ck in the entrance making sure it was we-t enough as I kept fo-ndling her bre-asts.

I drove in with one powerful thru-st, moving my waist as I groa-ned loving the way her pu-ssy wall tightened around my di-ck. I grabbed her bre-asts and fu-ck her hard, and faster.

Madam Stella: aaahhh! oh! gawd!! yes!! yes! aaahh! harder aahh!!

Me: aaahh! ahhh!! *kpaa! Kpaaa!! our skins slapping*

I didn't know how long we were at it, she pushed me to the bed and mounted me.
She rode me till we both climaxed, I was so tired after the se-x.

I didn't know when I slept off later Veronica called me, I hurriedly dress and left the room leaving Madam Stella sleeping.
I came out of the Guest House and called her telling her were I am, it was getting late.

She asked me to wait in the street and the thing shocked me sha... I saw my own car moving towards me and I guess she was the one who was driving, I come dey wonder who teach am how to drive.

She slowed down and wound down the side mirror, she was looking beautiful as usual.

Veronica: baby, hop in.

Me: no be small baby.

I opened the door and entered, she drove me to a beach and took me to were the river is.
It was getting late and loud music and people's voices were heard from distance, they were partying hard since it was Sunday.

We sat close to the river enjoying the moonlight, I looked at my girlfriend and I admired the way the silver light of the moon shone on her beautiful face.

Veronica: you know why the moonlight always look beautiful around river side?

Me: I no know.

Veronica: I know say you no go know, you no too dey bright.

Me: you come ask me? I dey bright.

Veronica: I see your NCE certificate.

Na the useless HOD made me come out second class lower, I didn't know I was fu-cking his cousin around campus till the man nearly fry my grade with em no mercy frying pan.
Nobody advice me to leave the girl alone, run.

Me: just tell me.

Veronica: my help your life, once upon a time the moon goddess felt lonely. She was looking for true happiness when Ice king learnt of this, he went up to the Moon to win the goddess heart.
Sun the one betrothed to Moon was very arrogant and proud, instead of him going to the Moon he demanded that the Moon should come and see him.
So the King of Ice took this opportunity and won the heart of Moon, Moon was deeply in love with Ice.
When Sun learnt of this, he was enraged and he stroke the Ice who melted to bodies of water, Moon was heartbroken and hid in darkness all her life and whenever the Sun tried to dry up the whole water bodies she will rise and fight the Sun. Na em make we get solar eclipse?

Me: who be your literature teacher? You suppose get F20 for Literature.

Veronica: *she laugh sweetly* I no go school for Nigeria.

TBC...

WHIZKIDEFE:
When you don't have money, everywhere seems trekable. I'd think the world is walkable those times..

"After all, trekking na part of exercise," that's me giving myself motivational speech anytime am penniless and about to use my 'legedez' benz!

Na so I go dey waka dey burn calories wey I need for my life. Brokenness, it can never be well with you.

While in school, on my broke days, I was the Nigerian version of Johnny Walker, na me me Efe walker. If there a competition for trekking, I would be the world champion, no cap.

I trek sotey to enter bike con be like extravagant lifestyle. I go dey solve maths on top bike fair..


I go be like, " Efe instead of you to waste dis money tey enta bike, if you add like 50naira join, you dun buy 2 meat and 1 eba for mama Eloho restaurant wen you go carry go house then make eba put tey dey well o.


Or..


If you add #100 join, you dun buy medium sliced bread wey you fit eat 2times 2moro o.


Eat one part with indomie go class for morning and eat the remaining part with either tea, beans or groundnut.

Nor blame me, person wey no get money suppose get sense. After all, e better say I buy something with bike fair tey survive than enta bike and stay hungry after.. *Sense wee nor finish me** lol.

No reason am o, if you are shy or have self respect (not pride) that you find it difficult to beg other's for help, then you must know how to manage and make every penny you have count.

Las las we go dey alright oh but, first, lets learn to live within our means.. (E get why)

Money management is a must have survival skill. Yes, even the times wen account dry and money neva come from house, I still dey look good and smile like always. (Na broke I broke, I nor kee person) *lol*

Yes, even in the broke times, me n dem Meekest still dey go take 1 or 2 bottles once once.. Dey use liquor n yabbings tey dey drown d pains of zero-level account balance.. Get good pals, very importanter.

That's how one day after I successful trekked from school down to my lodge, weak and tired.. I dropped my bag, removing my buttons when I heard a knock on my door.

One mind say make I bone and just go baff cos I dun tire but the good mind say make I just check fess, e fit be my God sent angel.

Getting there, I met Julius, one neighbor looking at me with one kain eye I couldn't understand.

" bro, can I see you for a moment please?," he spoke with a calm voice. I was suprised cos that was very unlike him.


Although I don't roll with my neighbors, I knew their individual personality, from afar.

Julius was the loud nigga. Always wanna tell everyone he is the biggest G in d lodge. He may fool the rest people sha, but, not someone like me.

If you are from the street, you tend to have the ability to see people for who they truly are. (It's an inbuilt trait, you nor go see am buy for market!) **hehe*

When I say street, I mean the real street.. Not the yahoo street o *lol*. The street will teach you that " the empty drum makes the loudest noise"

You know that neighbor that would snub you when they are with someone or they just touched change.

Like those kind that would look down on you like you are not on their level maybe cos they rolling with certain people in uptown.

Some G-boys n Runs gal fall in dis category. Especially runs gal wen dey knack top lecturers or some chairmen for away league. For d boys, small change would make dem fell on top of the world..

Forgetting that Lucky Dube's line.. "Be good to the people on your way up the ladder cos, you'll need them on your way down" *winks**

Immediately I saw him, I remembered the day I greeted him and he looked at me before he looked away, in front of some people. Walai, the tin pain me dat day ehn. I nor blame am sha, Na me fvck up.

Seeing this nigga in my door just made the last encounter flash through my mind.

"Bro, can I see you for some minutes?," he repeated.

" I'm kinda busy, If it's urgent you can say it here, if not, we can talk about it later," I said, making my displeasure show in my countenance.

" it's urgent, okay, I'll be brief...," he said while he entered inside, uninvited. (Imagine d concobility)*lol**

" bro, your room is nice.." He started immediately he entered.

"Ogbeni, abeg go straight to the point,time no dey" I replied.

" Chill bro, am coming to that," he said.

" who's your bro, can you stop calling me bro, make we nor go get problem abeg," I wanted to tell him but decided against it, make e nor be like say my blood too hot.

" bro, I need financial assistance from you. My mum have sent me money but I haven't received it, I need like 500naira to go and check in the school ATM, I'll pay you when I get back.." he said tapping my shoulder at intervals.

He call me bro, dat one nor reach... he con still dey tap my shoulder join again(can you just imagine) Shebi awish I press conk for d boy boy teeth dat moment world people go say I too do.

" you need money to goan check your account balance yen yen yen.. Shebi me dat just trekked down from skul, I don't know how to enta bike ni.. Abi as I waka for d sun so, I die??," I wanted to say but, I lock up.

" I don't have that money," I replied point blank.

You see some people ehn, if they want something from you, they would form loyalty and humbleness till they get what they want from you and after that... you'll get to see their true colors.

That particular day, I didn't have 500naira to spare, who naked nor dey put hand for pocket.

I knew that anything that made me give him that money, na voice-mail e dun enta be dat... Cos I won't draw him to pay me and he wouldn't bother to payback.

"Okay, give me 200naira, I'll give you back first thing when I return," he requested.

Well, that little calm voice whispered to me to help him out. I felt sorry for the nigga cos I felt it could be me. Life can play a fast one on anybody.

So, I sacrificed the money I saved from trekking and gave it to him.


Although a part of me told me to forget about the money and consider it dash, but one small part was hopeful..


As I gave him the money, he smiled.


"Guy, incase of next time, you don't enter someone's crib uninvited," I wanted to tell him when I remembered...

How a neighbor's friend came to collect something one day.

She just knocked once and entered inside.


"What if I was naked?," I asked her.

"Na small challenge na," she replied. No mannaz!

I smh and gave her that "you think say you dey wise, you are a mumu girl!" Before handing her what she came to collect n locked my door.


If you don't have courtesy or manners and you think you're WOKE..

This is what I have to tell you... in Asari Dokubo's voice,
" You be MUMU!"

***
After Julius left, I freshened up and decided to have cassava flakes for lunch but notticed there was no sugar.


On a normal day I would've managed salt and garri oh but... It wasn't a normal day. Considering the distance I trekked from school under the scorching sun.

Na so I wear nika and shirt say make I go buy sugar unto to say I enjoy the garri to the fullest. (Shey you dey get)


I walked down to Lexuz bar to buy my sugar in peace but on getting there... guess what I saw there.


It was Julius oh!


The same neighbor that I gave my hard-earned 200naira to... buying cigarettes and tom-tom with the very money I gave him. Yess, I saw the money. (Chest pain)

He was shcked to see me at first before he smiled, took his things and went to sit with some guys at the bar section.

"Shebi na the school atm wen you wan go be dis?," I wanted to ask him but I decided against. (Next time dey)

As far I dun give am the money, he fit do anything he like with am abi.. Whatever he does with the money was no longer my business as far he'd pay back but...

The fact that I won't get the money back from him and what seeing what he bought with the money weakened me.

Money that I would've used to buy bread or sumtin light to compensate myself for the trekking I trekked earlier.

E con be like say me wen save that money no get sense, chai! (Sifia pain o)

****


Ok, guess who is plus 1 today?? Your's truly