₦airaland Forum

Nashville: We understand your point, but what we are trying to tell you is that the qualities you mentioned in your original post does not make a woman an asset. Sleeping with your husband and being able to have kids does not make you an asset. Cooking, cleaning and washinig does not make you an asset either. A woman should bring more value to a marriage than a house help. When some husbands treat their wives like househelps you may not blame them. While it is absolutely wrong to maltreat ones wife, but if all a woman does in a marriage is cook, wash, clean and sex, dont be surprised if you husband starts treating you anyhow cos you are not an asset!

Please go through my first post again, precisely where I listed the traditional (main) duties of a wife. You guys were just carried away with the need to prove that a non-working woman is a financial liability.

vanitty: Poster, what is traditional duties? Apart from pregnancy and labour? Please you are not doing any woman any favour with your argument. Most women are trying to break free from the so - called traditional duties.

Woman, it is your fault. If you allow your hubby to ri e fin it is your damn fault. If your man 'demands' that you stay at home as long as you didn't drag him huffing and puffing to the alter,then he can be a house husband if he wants. Please empower yourself woman and get something doing.

When I said tradition duties, I meant their core duties. Their main duties. I didn't say that a woman should not work o! Didn't you see where I wrote that I work?

damiso: This argument again Abeg let everyone do what works for their family.

I personally have to earn an income its just the way i am wired. However a woman who does not work in the FORMAL sense(cos there seems to be this misonception esp among naija guys that you must knack suit and 6 inch heels to be working ) MIGHT not be a financial liability.
I know someone who is a housewife(very derogatory term IMO)but hubby delegates alot of stuff too that he is unable to see to due to his 9 to 5 job.She is more less like an independent financial.advisor.I feel she is more an asset than the working class lady who feels her own money is for ferragamo,brazilian weave and aso ebi cos hubby is the man and must pay ALL the bills.And yes there are women like that.I have had friends say to me they chose the most expensive schools,apartments etc so that by the time he pays all the bills there is no money left for Sina(yoruba word for womanising).His money is ours and my money is mine.Those ARE liabilities(not saying u cant spend your money how u deem fit sha).

Finally ooooooooo
Somebody who understands EXACTLY what Iv been struggling so hard to explain!
Whew!
The problem with them is that they are defining the word as an economic term alone and not as a general term!
I work in an office yes, but I'm also the chief economic adviser to my man. Something a non-working class woman can even do better because she has more time to give.
My point is that a woman's xter, virtues and ability to manage a home and money should be a man's foremost priority when looking for a wife.

Nashville: OP,
You might make yourself happy, but half of the points you raised can be done by a house help or even machines. Cooking, washing cloths and keeping house clean can always be done by a nanny. So what if a woman does not have children. What does she do, since you claim women should be a home taking care of kids. And should a woman get a gold medal simply because she sleeps with her husband? Doesnt she not also enjoy the act or who else is supposed to sleep with him at night.

Anything of economic value is called an asset and liabilities can be described as debt or hindrances. A lady can be working (earning money) and still be a liability; examples are quarelsome wives who always find faults in their husbands, who insult and disrespect their husbands.

On the other hand a housewife can be an asset if she helps her husband, is a confidant, supports him in everyway she can and makes his home happy. There is economic value in that.

But the truth is than an asset is something with economic value. If all a woman does is clean, cook and sleeps with her husband, that is no value I am sorry. A househelp can do all of those. But the value comes in when you begin to be a source of strength and support. When you begin to take interest in things that pertain to him. When he sees you as his best friend and closest confidant. When he sees you and gets encouraged!

Thank God you know that a lady can be working and still be a big liability which is the bottom line of my point here. A woman's xter is more important than what she earns.
Will you employ a househelp to have kids for you? Wouldn't you rather have a legally married wife do that?
Btw, househelps are not liabilities because they relieve us of the strain and stress of house chores and taking care of the kids when we go to work. So it's not fair to call them liabilities.
And who says a non-working woman cannot be your best friend and confidante?
Who saysa she cannot pray for your success, and give you useful advice?
Most of you are defining liability as an economic term. You forget that the word has other general definitions, one of which I quoted in my first post.
A liability is basically a stumbling block, a hindrance a source of difficulty. How is it then fair to label a woman who does all the homely things I mentioned and more with these harsh words just and simply becasuse she's not employed?

debosky: ^^ She is an asset, but she is a financial liability.

Lol!
Go joor!

hbabe: Yes I have come across such women.
But your topic is saying stay at home wives should not be called liabilities. Can we then refer to them as ASSETS? Since they are bringing out children, cleaning, cooking and doing bedroom chores?
In marriage we are supposed to complement one another; a woman should help her husband in areas he is weak/deficient and the husband should do likewise to the wife. I have seen husbands who work and still help out heavily in the home.

My dear, why should a woman not be called an asset simply because she does not have an income? Why must it be only when she brings home money that she can be an asset?
So a woman who prays to God for her husband's success and protection is not an asset? A woman who can give good, life-changing advice to her hubby on various matters is not qualified to be an asset?? A woman who can save money and properly manage her husband's income is not an asset?? A woman who nutures her kids, helps them with home work, attends PTA meetings is not an asset??
Tell me something!

Seems like Regina does not have the ageless beauty of Joke Silva, Liz Benson, and Ngozi Ezeonu.
Perhaps she did plastic surgery sometime ago

hbabe: A wife becomes a 'liability' if she refuses to work to support the home financially and the husband has to struggle to meet the financial needs of the family all by himself. When this happens the husband has the added financial responsibility towards his wife and she becomes a liability.
Being a liability to a husband is relative. If the man can bear the financial needs of the family including his wife's then all is well but if he has to struggle/borrow/beg to meet up and his wife refuses to help financially then she is an additional burden.
IMO the being a financial liability should be discussed early in marriage or during courtship.

And do you know a working class lady can be a financial liablility if she cannot spend her income wisely and save money?
That's why I said that a woman's xter should come before her income

debosky: There are things I can do too that a non-working wife can NEVER do - not even in year 15000!

You don't have much of a point really, except that you hate the word liability.

Oya mention one! and don't tell me impregnating her because if you look at it well, the equation is not balanced.
for a baby to be born, he needs the father's sperm plus the mother's egg.
Now who's gonna carry and nuture the fertilized egg? who is gonna go through the labour agony and often times pregnancy discomforts?
so puleeeeez, the woman does a whole much more work in that department abeg!
And yes i hate the word because it's not fair after doing all these things for you.

E eya!
She is healed already in Jesus' name!

Debosky, thank God you realize that there is one thing a non-working wife can do that you can NEVER do. Not even in the year 3000!
Like I said, you still don't get my point.

mikeyhernadez: MTN =Manage The Network [joke]
MTN =Mobile Telephone Network

I hope the second one was also a joke cos it's not the correct meaning
OP, it is mobile telecommuinication network

debosky: So what are you saying exactly?

Women are appreciated - however, if they don't earn money, they can be financial liabilities. To state this FACT that women can be financial liabilities doesn't mean they are unappreciated.



What other wifely things? Laundry? Cooking? What exactly can't I do? And even if I can't do them, what does that have to do with earning money?



A man's character is also more important as well, not his salary so what point are you making? Or is it only a woman's character that matters?

From your tone, I can see you just like arguing and winning arguments.
Just like Alutacontinua did, look at the bottom line of my message and stop talking as if I said women should not work.
By the way, a woman's traditional and foremost duty is to nuture while that of a man is to provide. So a woman can afford not to work but a man does not have such luxury. Same way a woman cannot say she does not want to give birth or expect her husband to be the one bearing children. That's why women generally nuture kids better than men. It's a fact that science can never change
Having said that, I have always adviced ladies to have some sort of paid employment for their own good and security. It's also nice to give financial support to our husbands every now and then to make the family even more financially comfortable than it is.
However, men should be more concerned about making more money than in looking foward to their wives pay check.

debosky: No they don't. Why should I go back to traditional duties if it is incompatible with how I want to live my life today? Is it by force to go back to 'traditional duties'?



A wife not earning an income puts the family at an economic disadvantage compared to a family where both husband and wife earn incomes (assuming the husbands earn the same in both families). In that sense, the woman is a financial liability. Being a financial liability doesn't mean you are useless.

A child who cannot support himself/herself is a financial liability till he/she can earn an income. It seems you just don't like the word.



So she shouldn't earn income because she fvcks her husband? Like really? Is she a hoe?



Yes - she can be a financial liability - a financial liability is not necessarily a bad thing. It depends on what the family wants.



Being a liability doesn't mean you are worthless - like I said, your issue appears to be with the word 'liability'.

Yes she can be a financial liability. But it's small compared to all the many things she does to turn your house into a home which you will be happy to to go after a hard day at work.
Yes I have a problem with the word liability because it is too strong a word to use on a woman who does all those things I listed above and more.
If you feel that money is the only worthy asset of a woman in a home, let your non-working wife travel and leave you with the kids for only 2 weeks. 2 weeks oooo
Then come back and tell me she's a liabilty

debosky: So because she goes through labour pains for 9 months she should not earn an income for the rest of her life? Or are women perpetually pregnant?



I do and have done so countless times. Should I now say that I will not earn money because I change nappies?




You are conflating things that are separate - yes a woman's intrinsic value as a human being isn't based on her income earning potential. However, the fact that she is a woman/mother does NOT exclude her from needing to bring in an income too.

I did not say that she is exculded from earning money Mr, I said she should be appreciated for doing other things (which you cannot do) apart from earning money.
Thank God you change nappies, but can you give birth? Can you do all those other wifely things on a DAILY basis?
You did not get the bottom line of my message which is that her xter is more important than her income because at the end of the day, it is her xter that will make you a better person and mehn, not all the salaries in the world can equate the usefulness of that!

alutacontinua: Lemonade, trust me, she's a liability! Tryna paint it in some other ways is just tryna be nice unnecesarily!

She should go out there and work. Have you noticed that these women are the ones that want to ride the best car and eat the best food and buy all the aso-ebi's in town Yet, they don't wanna work! We appreciate all that they're doing but they should work!

SIMPLES!

Nope. I am not trying to be nice. I am just stating a fact.
Of course we will have the bad ones among them. But are you saying that working class ladies don't indulge in these things even at the expense of their kids. Some working class ladies spend all their income on themselves, not even their kids. Some become too proud and pompous and disrespect their husbands. There are some non-working women who are more prudent in their spending and give better financial advice to their husbands than working women.
What I am trying to say is that a woman's character is more important than her income.

biolabee: I didn't say that non earning wives are useless o

I have friends whose wives are doing nutin but the guys job is superb so they are exceptions to the rule

Is it now the fault of the man he s not earning more money?

Nope, it's not his fault at all, but that's no excuse for him to recent her or make income the most important criteria in choosing a wife. Look for xter first before any other thing. Many virtous women have opened doors for their husbands just by simply giving him good advice and praying for him.

The society has begun to make non-working wives feel "guilty" just because they don't work. The woman starts to feel guilty of allowing her husband pay for everything because of of the constant whines of the husband. Also, some working working class ladies purposely rob their jobs in the faces of non-working class ladies.
This is very unfair and uncalled for.
I ask again, can a man carry a baby in his womb for 9 months? Can he go through labour pains. How many men here willingly change their babies nappies not to talk of waking up at night to attend to a crying baby! Even if there was ever a technology that makes it possible for a man to give birth, how many men will come out to say they want to help their wives give birth?
So please, give it to the wives abeg. Start appreciating your wives more whether or not she earns a salary. Don't wait until something happens to her and she can't do those things again for you before you realize her worth!

biolabee: Ok o..... For. This time n age no man will readily strive to marry a non earning woman
Times are hard

I understand that times are hard but taking out the frustrations on a woman who does so much for you or making a woman's income a vital part of your criteria for a wife is just like gold digging.
Go and work hard for more money

Most men need to go back and check the meaning and traditional duties of a wife. It has become common these days for men to say they don't want a liability for a wife. Biko, let me ask this question, what/who is a liabilty? Can somebody google the word? I just did and I saw this;
"A liability can mean something that is a hindrance or puts an individual or group at a disadvantage, or something that someone is responsible for, or something that increases the chance of something occurring (i.e. it is a cause)"
Now let us look at the traditional duties of a wife;

1. She is solely responsible for concieving, giving birth to and nurturing children most times putting her own life on the line (visit any labour rooms and see what I mean)
2. She turns the house into a home by ensuring smooth, regular running of affairs in the house, ensuring that the house is neat and welcoming, cooks, laundry, and even manages money for house upkeep and makes sure the money lasts till the next one comes (pls note this kind of thing is not easy at all even when there is good money coming in. she often has to sacrifice a lot of brazilian weaves and other ladies' guilty pleasures to ensure this)
3. She nutures the children. Helps them with homework, attends PTA meetings, gives them all the needed moral support and even extends it to the husband by praying day and night for his success, being there when he needs a friend to talk to and standing by him through thick and thin.
4. She tries her best to satisfy her husbands (often times) high sexual needs.

Now, Mrs. A is an unemployed housewife who does all these things willingly and expertly, do we still call her a liability because she does not have a paid employment
Huh? Must everything be measured according to how much money she brings to the table? Does she have to bring money before she can be an asset? Must a woman's usefulness/worth be measured only according to her financial strength?
After watching your wife go to hell and back just so she can make you a proud father, will you still have the heart to call her a liability

I am a working woman, and yes I have the desire to earn a separate income from my not-too-distant-future hubby. I believe women should have their own financial freedom and do their own thing for themselves and for security purposes. But I also detest when a woman who is not for one reason or the other not working is looked down upon as a liability.
That is too strong a word to use on a woman who does everthing and sometimes even more of the things I mentioned.
This nonsense must stop! Unless, your unemployed wife is a lazy, nagging, dirty woman, I see absolutely no reason why she should be called a liablity. Do you know there are non-working women who lead their husbands to great wealth because of their characters alone??!! So my guys, be more concerned about a lady's character and aura than her income or where she works when choosing a wife. Instead of calling her a liability and being recentful, why not work harder and make more money? Can you carry a baby for 9 solid months and go through labour pains (agony)?
Big ups to all the housewives in the house! But hey ladies please try to have a separate account from your husband's or a joint account where your name is clearly wriiten on it.
Cheers!

And this is why I admire Asiwaju, when he speaks, almighty PDP trembles! PDP has in fact been so jittery lately. Why? Definitely not because of Buhari, but because of Tinubu since he came up with this APC idea.
Watch and see this same PDP trying to befriend Tinubu before this year runs out.

Billyonaire: I hardly see any poor person around. Where are the poor people ?

You this guy ehn!
Sometimes your blind support for GEJ can be touching, even motivating. At other times, it's just simply disgusting to watch
Na wa for you o!

@DTaj, thanks so much for that!!!
Wow!

solomon111: The SW have always been a sucker for ethnocentric leaders,and tinubu capitalized on it.
Just like awolowo, he has been able to use funds from corrupt means to create a ethnic-based political system,which is why his so-called powers are limited to the SW.
He seems to be adored by his people anyway,so he can steal them blind for all i care.
As long as he restricts his shenanigans to the SW,then i have no problem with him.

The last time I checked Edo and Anambra states have strong ACN presence. Besides, Tinubu is respected everywhere regardless of whether ACN rules there or not.
How often do you hear other politicians bad-mouth him?

bknight: That exactly!, my brother, is Power! Unfortunately.

Lol!

bongila: And you say you are not a Fashola fan? Keep fooling yourself!

My dear lady, we are talking about Tinubu not Fashola

Secondly, I am a Fashola fan although he annoys me sometimes, he's still one of, if not the finest politician in Nigeria today.

Thirdly, I may not love Tinubu, but I admire and respects the qualities he posses that has turned him into the legend he is. I think I could use some of these qualities and apply them in my day-to-day business

tpia@:
Why are you asking about tinubu dear.

Did you read my earlier posts? Go through the thread, you will see why

Gbawe: How simplistic. Another statement uttered because of an inability to simply give credit where due. I say, without fear of contradiction, Tinubu has united and managed the most brilliant, most opinionated and most resolute leaders to be found in Nigeria. Those sort do not do blind loyalty because they are innately, for many reasons, the most difficult to handle and cannot be tele-guided. This is why OBJ, Anenih, IBB et al consistently stay away from those sort to the detriment of Nigeria.

Tinubu embraces these 'good guys' willingly. Their loyalty to Tinubu is incidental to the strengths and abilities of Tinubu they eventually come to admire and praise publicly. In fact, that they are loyal to Tinubu speaks volume of the man's leadership skills. How many leader of leaders does Nigeria have? Can you guys answer this?

All of those predicting all sort of negative things for Tinubu should go and sit down. If only Nigerians know what is really delivering the success some African Nations are enjoying then they will appreciate that Tinubu only deserves prayers so that, for all his faults, he continues to abet the default evolutionary template of national success anchored around square pegs in square holes.

http://thenationonlineng.net/new/politics/tinubu-an-indomitable-opposition-leader/

Correct! Tinubu's strength will not last forever, but I doubt if he will fall or be disgraced out of the political scene because I see him as someone who is smart enough to leave the stage when the ovation is loudest. Or he might just die 'in power' as the most influential god-father of our time.

naijababe: And the democratic parties did what? Diddly squat as usual

Lol!
Some people ehn!
Just because they don't like someone or because the person is not from their part of the world, they will close their eyes to anything worth admiring. Nigerians and sentiments ehn!
Tufia!

I have been studying about Tinubu all day. (Something I do when something or someone motives/intrigues me) I have been able to bring out these qualities which I believe other politicians and indeed everyone of us can learn from.

1. Tinubu surrounds himself with smart achievers and not empty brained praise-singers. This is the most important lesson. Tinubu does not allow himself to be carried away by the loud singing and drumming of his supporters and praise singers. Although he does acknowledge their praises he keeps them at a distance when he wants to do serious business.
This is unlike most of our other politicians who forget themselves while listening to the sugar-coated voices of their often empty-skulledpraise singers.
2. Tinubu has the gift of fore-sight and knows how to apply it. He knows when to pull out of a venture which will not turn be successful in order to save his face.
This is unlike most other politicians who act before they think about the effects their actions will have on their political careers.
3. Tinubu does not allow women distract him. Of course he does his occasional runs, but he knows how to keep them out of his business and does open favours for his wife only.
4. Tinubu is unique. His style, his approach, his swagg. Everything stands out. He has is own identity.

I strongly believe if we all adopt these qualities in our personal lives, and in Nigerian politics, Nigeria will be a tad better.
Cheers!

naijababe: And what became of Fayose afterwards?

Ask him o!

Me, I don't know if Tinubu "sold" SW votes to Jonathan. All I know is that for Jonathan to send a jet to pick Tinubu up shows a lot about how influential Tinubu is.
Please ehow many other Nigerians do we know of who can boast of this privilege?
How many politicians can look into OBJ's eyes and tell him to go to hell??
Haba! Give it to the man abeg!