₦airaland Forum

ogugua88: [size=13pt]If you truly left, I'd miss you lol.

@OP, why open a can of worms when you no fit handle them? You can't have your cake and eat it too. You start controversial threads, you ignore the very advice you ask for, and now you're crying. Take a look in the mirror and sort yourself. There are some genuine Nairalanders here who are offering condolences and assistance. Maybe you should take it as this your wahala don overoverplenty.[/size]

OMG! You too??!!!!
No wonder sexkills treats me the way he does........
Madam, did u see how I defended Achukwunet (your sister) on the thread raised asking for her whereabouts? And you still have the conscience to say this?
Oh well, it's all good. You can have NL all to yourself now ok?

Hello everyone!

After doing some serious thinking, I have deceided to say my final goodbyes now.
I remember when I used to be just a guest on NL. That started around 2006/7. I registered around 2010/2011 but remained quiet until sometime last year when a thread debasing beautiful women was raised. Before then, I used to just come around to laught at funny posts and to learn from people's personal stories.
Then I started creating my own threads and flowing along with Nlers.... Until I started noticing the political atmosphere here.
With tears in my eyes I right the remaining part of this post
I never believed how possible it was for on-line comments from faceless people to pierce so deep in your heart. I never thought it was possible to see so much injustice on-line and even be affected by it. Until recently.
As someone said, NL has become a community of people, ALL kinds of people. To be frank my 'haters' are not so much. If you checked my recent threads, you will see that they are just about 15 of them or so. But the make the loudest noise. They are so brutal in their desire to bring me down that it's like they are over 1500000000 of them. But generally, my main reason for taking a bow out of here is because I can no longer continue being part of a community where people prefer to here sad stories than happy stories. A community where people do and say all kinds of nasty things to their 'threats' so that they can keep their own relevance here.
They claim that I say too much about my man, did I ever mention his name? His profession? What he does for me? Our quarrels? Our private dreams? Apart from him being attractive and well to do, and loving, what else do you know about him? What else have I mentioned about him that is too much information? Apart from him telling me he wants to buy a bed, me spending a weekend with him, and him telling me he wants to ask my father if he can buy the bed what other information do you know about our relationship?
Vivian chinaza came here some weeks ago to tell us a story about how she fell in love with a friend. Nobody accused her of saying too much. Why? Becauses mine is a happy story? Because mine is attractive, loving, and finacially stable? Do you know the funny thing? That vivian chinaza and some other people who have gisted us fully about their relationships in the past are the same ones accusing me of bringing my relationship to NL. Can you see what I'm talking about?
Every other day, people come in here to talk about their relationships, giving far much much much more info than I ever gave. They even talk about how they have sex with their partners! I remember so painfully a lady who started a thread a day before or after my own thread. Talking about how she's in a lesbian relationship with her own sister-in-law and another who said she was thinking of having a party with her hubby and another girl. Their threads did not get a third of the bashing mine got. Why? Because mine was a happy story??
Seun, I have learned a lot from NL. So much! So many people have impacted a lot in me and given great advice that I will forever be grateful for but you need to meet with your mods and brainstorm with them on how to attract and keep more mature minds as active members on NL. I'm not the first give you this advice. Please don't just overlook it and see it as words from rejects and loosers on Nl.
I salute your courage and intelligence in creating a forum where anything can be discussed. It's very exemplary of you and I believe that you can make NL a much more greater place than it is today. Big companies today remain where they are because they keep working and striving towards achieving more.
Please get rid of the unhealthy politics that has started eating deep here.
I have given you this advice like a sister and God knows that.
Thanks and goodbye!

BE HIS FRIEND!!!!
Many couples over look this all important aspect. A marriage without friendship is just like a booty call/baby making factory.
The following are ways you can be your hubby/bfs best friend

1. Know something about how your man's line of work is done. E.g if he's a lawyer, learn some basic things about law so that he can be able to gist you about what happens in the court room as if he's gisting with his collegues. From there, he will soon start asking for your opinion before he takes up important cases. Before long, your advice will be highly valuable before he does anything
2. Always support him. Stand by him even when the world is against him. Encourage him. Nurture him. Before you know it, he will be running to you like a little boy running to his mummy after bruising his knee.
3. Hang out with him. If he invites you to go out for some fun, I beg you, follow him go o! No excuses unless you are sick!
4. SMILE! Unless you have solid reasons not to. Men LOVE a smiling woman even if she's not Beyonce's look alike.
5. Be natural around him. Don't always be on fake hair, fake nails, etc wear your natural hair sometimes. This helps to make him open up to you.
6. Take care of your body! Do not at any time relax or neglect your body!!!!!! Danger!!!!!!!
Eat right, dress right, and feel right!
Goodluck sister!

It all depends on the size of your pocket of course!
Cut your coat according to your size. Don't invite A.Y to be the M.C and Iyanya and D'banj to sing at the reception then later go home to soak garri.
Proper and early planning could make a low budget wedding look like it's worth a million dollars! You just need enough time to cook up ideas to make it a wonderful day because rushed weddings even when a lot of money is spent do not usually come out superab and lack this magical touch.

kitty kat: Swtlemon,

U don't use ur hands to spoil a fight that you have won. Ppl have rallied round to support you. Even your opponents have laid down their ammunition. Pls I beg to stop commenting so that you don't provoke anyone again.

Let get this over with. Learn to ignore ppls comments. U don't have to reply everything. I have been wrongly accussed on a certain thread on NLD. At a point, I had to unfollow d thread so that I don't respond with venom. I hv made d mistake of engaGing in a e-fight with DN before and I felt very stupid and immature after it.

As much as I admonsihed d men, virtous women also do not reply to every comment or insult hurled at them. They don't have to explain themselves all the time. Especially when ppl are painting you black, insulting u and calling u names. If you answer back, no matter how innocent, they will always paint u black. So, just disappear and ignore them. That's what keeps you up there. You will find out that the people who love justice will come out and fight for you and you will maintain your dignity.

Take care

Thanks dear. I understand what you mean. It's just that these people can be so venomous that sometimes you just have to shield yourself from their attacks! Only God knows where they get this from!
I don't reply everyone. It's only those who keep on coming over and over again to attack me.
Don't worry, I will soon have to stop being regular here, I will just be a front page visitor like thousands of other users here. Little by little you guys will be seeing less and less of me. I just felt I shared what I have with other women before I leave.

@ all, let me tell you guys where my problem with lalaosky started from. I didn't want to mention it ever but I'm forced to do so now cos I cannot stand this anymore.
At the Mr. NL pageant, while giving my votes to Lucenzo, I said that I didn't feel lalaosky should win because all he he seemed to possess in the pictures displayed was a fine face and Lucenzo had a better body structure, carriage, and swagg needed for the title.
Lalaosky obviously didn't swallow this bitter pill well and so even though he doesn't insult me directly in posts, he openly hails others when they insult.
I called him fake in my last thread because I couldn't take the pain of his cheering those vile words anymore. I explained to him that as a proper nice guy/gentleman, you do not cheer on people who are hurting a woman. You are meant to plead on her hehalf, even if she's wrong. Then advice her without insulting her.
That seems to be another fuel in the fire for him now as he now keeps accusing me of calling him names so that he can feel justified to hate me.
Lalaosky, sorry I said that you only have a fine face, I had no idea that men take such things so personal. I didn't even mean to say that you were not attractive enough, you are but Lucenzo had more pageant qualities. That's just what I was trying to explain.
Sorry also for calling you a fake nice guy. Imagine a group of people lynching you in public, with me laughing my a.ss out and cheering them on and encouraging them to do more, while pretending to be advicing you and even blaming you for what you were getting. How would you feel? Don't you think it will feel a bit worse than those who were doing the physical lynching?
I rest my case

lalaosky: i understand you and where you're coming from but it's either you didn't read my posts thoroughly or you're so quick to defend sweetlemon that you have to say those things to me.


the angel you're defending has been hauling insults at me and still i didn't attck her back.how matured do you want me to act?..smh

Please where did I haul a single word of insult at you on this thread
Why are you so hell bent on painting me black why?
Why?

lalaosky: sweetlemon, this aint about idowu or anybody else but about the tpoic of your thread.
You posted on shollypopz' slum thread so i know you saw what bittyend,reality101, hotnaijababe and RAW said to me.trust me they called me all manner of names but it doesn't matter cos i know i try to be nice cos that's who i'm.i aint faking it.i only had problem with your thread's name and some loop holes in your post but never did i bash you.

The problem with you is that you can't take constructive criticism(no pun intended)..didn't you see idowu call me a FOÖLISH boy but from now till tomorrow, i still love her and follow her cos she's a good friend to me.ID cusses me too but i love her.she's is one of my favorite NLer.

I've seen you kiss ID's posts and praise her when she post a comment that augurs well with you but immediately she tells you the cold hard truth, she turns to your enemy.that's not how to live both offline and online.

Stop claiming the victim cos if you receive one quarter of what sexkillz receives on here, i swear with my life, you close your NL account.no jokes.


Please i'm not bashing you but i still insist that you generalized with your thread's topic


cheers

This will be the last time I will say this. You do not give constructive criticm by calling people all kinds of names under the sun! It just will not work.
When I called that guy an arse licker, I immediatley apologized after realizing it was a pretty harsh word. Then explained things to him better and clearer. Today, he's doing much better and making more independent-mined posts here.
That is hw to correct someone. By telling them plainly but politely and not calling them names you won't even call a gutter rat! It works more effective that way.
Also, I have repeated all over the thread that I indeed mention that both sexes are guilty of not appreciating what they have but I'm standing behind the females here because I relate directly with them. I understand it better from their own end cos I have been there.
God knows that is the essence of the thread.

Mynd_44: I would have liked it better if you used wiser and not stronger. How many men have you met that made you come to that assertion?

You have no rights whatsoever to decide whatever words I choose to use to describe myself sir
If my words fail to penetrate your heart, fine. I leave you to your conscience

lalaosky: lol...that's why idowu called me a foölish boy.the truth is that, no matter what i say to sweetlemon, i'll always be a hater in her eyes.

In her last series, she called me Mr fake guy when i didn't insult her yet she lied she never throws banter first.if mynd didn't bring up that incidence in his post, the gullible ones will think she's been bullied.

The truth is, anyone that post his advice on sweetlemon's threads is a HATER cos one group will think you're bullying her if she doesn't "kiss" your comments while another group will think you're FÖOLISH for not telling the advice that soothes her ego

I called you that because you kept on laughing uncontrollably over the painful, hurtful, vile words your friends were mercilessly dishing out on me and cheering them on! You know that!
Why are you guys doing this to me??
Why?
What will you gain? Why does it excite you so much?
Why?
Look at Idowuogbo, if I am rude, what will you call her? And please don't tell me she's just joking with people cos there are some words you just don't use on people.
What kind of injustice is this?
Why?
Yes! I am shedding tears now, because I'm so shocked at all this. I'm human so I cannot deny that these daggers thrown at me do not penetrate my flesh.
It's quite unfortuntate that a woman will rise up and openly gang up against her fellow woman. We should all come together and work together and stop being our own worst enemies.
It's ok sha, at the end, it won't change who I am. I am still Sweetlemon. Perhaps, even stronger.

AmBeautiful: Hello, i did read your post very well,piece by piece and if i didn't understand it at all, i won't post my first comment.
Have you ever thought for once,just once, why some people attack you immediately you open a thread these day? Are you the only one who creates motivational threads for women?
Madam, i have no problem with comprehension, or do you want me to begin to critically analyze each of your sentences you posted at the beginning of this thread, starting first with your topic before you see that i clearly know how to read and write? Besides did i directly mention Bed Guy in my post? Na wa oh!
Abeg suit yourself, one day you would learn, ask DN!

You should be asking yourself that question madam. People (a certain type of people, not everbody) attack me for reasons very obvious to any free-thinking, independent-minded human being. Study my threads better with a more clearer conscience and you will see

Oahray: Lol... Its funny how this girl paints a big bulls-eye on herself and afterwards blames any Robinhood wannabe for taking a shot.

You cannot claim to be defending me and at the same time be telling me that I deserve to be insulted in this manner. Have you ever seen a lawyer practically telling the court that his client deserves to be punished
Please! What you did here was just a tactic sitting on the fence thing. You were actually saying "Sweetlemon is just as bad as she has been made to look here, but since she has apologized, leave her alone"
Please pray tell, how is that supposed to help my image here

Oahray: [/quote](2) I think you are like any other NLer and read your posts like any other post. Thanks for the directive but flatter yourself no more dear. Only difference is the ease with which you try to defend yourself even when no one is attacking you.

Excuse me, but did you just say that??
So what do you call the insults in this particular thread Defences, praises, chit chat??
Mr. Lecturer, you are busy lecturing me on how to keep my cool, I have seen you insult people for much lesser attacks than the ones here so puleeez!

Mynd_44: Did Sweetlemon just say she does not insult anyone except if the person draws first blood?

A week after the contest(still angry that she lost ) she call someone a arsè licker cos he agreed with my post and said NL is filled with "Follo follow people" is that not arrogance?

Her posts and threads are filled with bitterness and insults she needs to go see a shrink cos me no get the girl.

Plus Onila is still better than her. I stand by that

I apologised to the guy immediately afterwards and explained things better to him. Thankfully, I have noticed a great improvement in him since that time. That was my first and ONLY time. Besides we were talking about my threads here and not other threads

Les: then ur topic should be written dat way like it was guys only.... U sound controversal wit urself... Tho i get ur point sha.. But u didn't present it in a presentable way... Ur bed guy is a bad example... If you wanted to use ur past as an example... It should have been ....how ur exes treated u, how it affected u, how u felt then, u u finally overcame d effect and u were able to spot dat ur bed guy was deferent wen he approached u and finally, how you made sure guys wont treat u dat way again:.... Den ppl will understand...... I beg u again, dont let nairaland affect ur real life emotions... Pls and also... Try working on ur oratory ability and capablity... If not, dont try goin into teaching.... I hope u understand me

My dear, you are understanding me better simply because you made a decision to do so and not because of how I presented myself because if you go through this thread, you will see where I talked about how I once battled with my self esteem and how I started meeting better guys after I worked on my self. You will see that the SUMMARY of my post is that I wasn't appreciated by my exes until I became far out of their reach. You will also see where I encouraged guys to come out and express their feelings to their any girl they may be habouring feelings for before it gets too late.
I wrote all these things clearly but you CHOSE not to read and understand them because like the typical NLer, you came in, saw a bashing party and deceided to partake in the 'fun'. It's just as simple as that.

Oahray: It doesn't matter who draws the sword first, bottom line, you did throw insults at all. Inasmuch as I do not fancy the incessant manner in which you keep getting attacked, I cannot truthfully say you did not deserve at least some of it.

I never said, directly or by implication, that you should not react. On the contrary, I think reaction is a natural law. I'm a bit surprised you have been so polite of recent, and I think its a good thing.

Looks like you are a nice person, but don't be too hasty to tell others all the time how much they don't understand you. It could only mean two things: either you have an issue with communicating or others have a problem with understanding.
The context of your words points to the latter. It has an air of arrogance to it. You should limit how often you say it.

I understand you sweetlemon, believe me, I do.

There's a difference between arrogance and a healthy self-esteem. Arrogant people insult and look down on others while confident people say things clearly and precisely without insulting but the confident way they do it often intimidates people with self esteem issues of their own, thereby making the the ones with lower confidence hate their guts. Like I said earlier, try to read my posts like it were written by any other NLer so that you won't allow sentiments becloud your better judgement.
Anyway, very soon, I will have to stop being regular here. I'm just sharing what I have to others who might find them useful.

lalaosky: well said....she made some sense in her post, just that she made some mistake with the way she went about it and also the topic IMHO should've read "WHY ARE PEOPLE LIKE THIS" cos' the issue she raised is not gender specific

I'm very sure you saw where I said that both men and women are guilty of this behaviour. I concentrated on men here cos I want to help the women since they are the ones I relate with! Just say that you want to find a loop hole so you can have a reason to back up your friends.
Simple!

@ Oahray, if you follow my threads @ all as you say you will see that I NEVER NEVER insult or get rude to anyone except that person draws the sword first.
Never!
These people have (repeatedly) called me every name under the sun. For reasons I just cannot fathom. Yet you honestly expect me not to react to the insults? Did I ever tell you that I'm super human
I apologized because I hate having serious quarrels with people whether or not I'm at fault.
@am beautiful, did you read my post @ all madam? This thread is not about my relationship with my bed guy, he was just used as an illustration. The thread was created to help ladies with self esteem issues in bad relationships get up and move on with their lives. The thread needs to be open for others to put in their own contribution from their own experience so that it can further help to motivate women. So you will agree with me that it's hardly a thread for the diary section since it's not about me!
I do hope you understand me now. My advice to you and to other people here who find it so difficult understanding my posts is that you guys should learn to read my post like it were written by any other NLer. Just take a moment for once to remove the thought that I'm "showing off" from your minds and I'm sure you guys will be able to see things clearer
Cheers!

HARDDON: Use to have a respect ƒoя the OP untill i saw ha throw all feminine caution to d winds and really spill ill.

And ii rate both of you ön same scale. So take a lick off and stop d derail

I can see how perfect you are!
Like every other normal human, I have made mistakes before, learned from them and corrected them....... And I'm not ashamed of that honey

[quote author=HARDDON]Use to have a respect ƒoя the OP untill i saw ha throw all feminine caution to d winds and really spill ill.

And ii rate both of you ön same scale. So take a lick off and stop d derail [/q

kitty kat: Its high time ppl stood up to them. It could have been termed as play in some old threads but this is pure old green eyed envy. Who is stopping them from celebrating themselves? Must we spend our time reading sad stories of abuse and wickedness on NLD all the time? An inspiring nice story is needed so that we don't all get bitter and feel that life is always bad.

This reminds of a lady who talked abt her loving fiancee some years back on this same NLD romance section. She wrote about the good relationship they had and how she made it work. Trust our darling NLDers, they never fail to disappoint. They all started calling her attention seeker and liar.

I wish you a beautiful future with your current fiance(soon to be hubby)

You will have much better than me girl! I promise you that

Obinoscopy: Sweetlemon you're really a celebrity. That's good for you and good for nairaland . Don't mind the haters, keep ur cool. I'm enthralled by ur matured response in this thread. Keep it up.

JakeII: While i'm not in support of guys not appreciating their girls,i'll say the whole thing is often ironical in the sense that when ladies are so appreciated and shown love by the guys,most of them start 'misbehaving'.Hence,some guys keep the real feeling inside....talking from experience.

Yeah I know. Like I said earlier BOTH guys and girls are guilty of this. I'm speaking more for the ladies because I'm a lady and I want to encourage my fellow ladies

190: why cant you people leave lemon alone!!


lemon they hate u cos they arent half as pweety of baked as urself

let them hate!!

You got my support 101%!!

Awww!

kitty kat: Mr Lecturer, kindly give a practical example of what you mean because I fail to follow your line of reasoning. Last time I checked NLD encourages freedom of speech. If someone has found true love and wants to shout it on all the tthreads of NLD, they are allowed to(by d way that's one of the signs that a lady loves a man). How does that make her have self esteem issues? Someone who is not afraid to express their feelings like she does, to me has no low self esteem. Rather its d bullies who have inferiority complex. If not why would such a reference get them piqued.

As much as I have criticized her before, I enjoy her stories and celebrate with her. Ppl do not know that when u celebrate another person's success, u are indirectly inviting ur own success. On the other hand when you rubbish it, then you are telling Gos that success is bad so He shd not give it to you.


As for ppl saying that her story is fake, pls send me your proof. If you do not have proof, then shut up! Its in this same NLD that some ignoramus said that I amd just a secondary school leaver and came up with lots of baseless points to prove that I am fake. The same set ppl said their grievance is that I claim that I helped ppl get jobs and I said getting a job is easy. As a result they became bitter and it became an e-bullying feas. If not for some very sensible and strong NLDers, I would have become another Swtlemon.

This has made me to conclude that d avg Nigerian hates to see ppl talk in happy terms about their success often. They expect u to always share ur problems or talk abt ur success as if its a failure. Swtlemon if u need help call me, we will open 10 threads evry day. Let them quench and die.
Infact we go open thread so tey we run out of topics and start using d ones below:
Swtlemon and Bedguy takes Manhattan
Swtlemon and Bedguy in Haiti
Swtlemon and Bedguy with Obasanjo on a trip at Otta farms
Swtlemon and Bedguy at Obudu cattle ranch
Swtlemon and Bedguy learn ho to make afang soup
Swtlemon and Bedguy have fun laffing NLD haters
Swtlemon and Bedguy: Nile boat cruise
Swtlemon and Bedguy visit India
Swtlemon and Bedguy and so on and so forth.

Haterzz over to you. Have a field talking rubbish!

Awwwww Kitty! you didn't have to do this!!!!
I'm so touched and humbled!

luvmijeje: Sweetlemon u can't be serious.Then why did she contest for Miss Nairaland?

I understand what you mean but what I'm trying to say is that she may be doing us proud in other areas (as our queen) and in fact may soon come here to wow us!

binger: How can u be too sure? Does being a beauty queen guarantee living a beautiful life in and out?

I'm just trying to defend our queen here and say that the fact that she doesn't come here doesn't mean she doesn't do other useful things or make bigger impacts in other places.
Thanks

Larry-Sun:
So, the unbeautiful ones are less intelligent?

No, that's not what I mean, I meant that many people like to believe that pretty girls are dumb. Our queen will prove them wrong.
Chikena!

luvmijeje: @binger since she is with u,pls tell her am not feeling her at all.She should wake up from her slumber.

Hi dear, I'm sure our queen is busy making impacts in other areas. I'm sure she's an intelligent gifted young lady who has so much to give the world and prove to us that beautiful girls are the most intelligent ones.
So don't worry ok?

SAFO: Na wa for NL careers. Just a few weeks ago you & bed guy were the toast of the town. Now your career has fallen faster than that of Michael Vick's

You obviously didn't read my post well

I feel good sha. I feel good because I have shared my happiness among others. Nothing feels better than sharing and there is no better revenge that loving your haters and critics.
I'm done with e-fights, so I'm sorry to disappoint those waiting for me to loose my temper here.
I'm consoled with the fact that there are still many right-thinking independent-minded free-thinking NLers here who can tell when there is a desperate, calculated attempt at painting a person black so I won't bother explaining myself to anyone anymore.
My ladies, keep being strong, you can make it and get a 1000 better that Naomi Campell's man! (and I'm not just talking about money o!) don't just dream it, act it! Believe that you deserve the best because it's only when you believe that you get it!
Love you all!
Thanks all and God bless you all!
Cheers!