₦airaland Forum

tpia@:
Crappy threads are becoming too many on nl these days.

The thread is not crappy, the school should be held responsible for releasing the child but the mother should also know at least two of her son's friends

mokola1: I am astonished by some of the comments I'm reading. How can anyone with a shred of decency and fairness blame this dancer girl just because she is using her life story to inspire young girls who might be similar circumstances she was herself in not too long ago. Only twisted individuals can put the honour of such a depraved mother before that of an innocent girl being led into prostitution by the woman who gave birth to her. Haven't you guys got any shame? Her honesty and the rawness of her experience is what will inspire the countless number of impoverished girls who feel they have no other option and accept that prostitution is the last saving grace left.

I'm also baffled!
Well, welcome to Nigeria where sentiments rules the brain and chains the mind.

Akshow: Seun wich kind raaazzzzz background be this one na? U no try o lol

Don't mind him o! Tomorrow when you post your own he will say "the quality of the picture is too poor"

HotNaijaBabe: A lot of things happening in this world that we live in...If we are asked in all sincerity to speak of all we have been through, I bet you- our ears will curl in disgust when people start to unveil the horrors they have had to live with..
#We all have a story to tell and the joy of it all lies in the will and courage to stand up and face a new day...To tell a good story and to tell your children and children's children how life was so tough, yet you made it...Not in telling the PUBLIC one sided stories in order to elicit pity or whatever...

#Maybe Kaffy's mother should be arrested and locked up( for asking her daughter to engage in prostitution). Even when Kaffy has risen above that blight, carved a niche for herself( whilst dancing half-nude) all over the place...( And abeg, is Kaffy somebody's role model?..dunno!)
What happens to the mothers all over the world who molest their own children, pay others to do the same, sell their children into slavery, physically abuse their children and those mothers that even kill their own children!! What happens to them?
#Who will stand up for those children who have tasted true horrors of bad-parenting..who will stand up for them? (I'm not talking about attention-seeking gross celebrities here)..I speak for those children who have never healed from the wound of intense and horrific abuse!

My dear are you listening to yourself at all? You ask what happens to other kids who are being traumatized by their parents? What else do you think will happen to them if they don't come out and speak up Hello?
The reason why many of us had and will continue to have ugly tales of growing up is because we don not speak up against it!
And please saying that kaffy is lying. What does she have to gain by telling such a lie? What sympathy is she looking for when she's already made? If she had said it when she was still contesting at the dance marathon, I would have understood your point. People don't lie about such things because it take a lot of courage to say something like that in public because such an admission will be giving not just her mother but herself and her entire family a bad name! I believe she said this with deep pain in her heart and with the desire to help other helpless kids going through that plight.
As for her dancing half naked, Beyonce dances half naked too, I guess that makes her a prostitute or a former prostitute as well!

HotNaijaBabe: Lol..sweetheart, slap me..slap me hard.. But I will still stand my ground..pls, Kaffy's mother did bad( If truly she encouraged her daughter to become a prosti'tute)..But my point is, even JESUS CHRIST can not come down and ask me to prostitu'te(Cos I have a mind of my own and I know what's good for me)...So, even if my mother hinted at it, I will tell my mother off in private..and I will never do it..and again. I will never tell anyone what she asked me to do...not even family(talk much of random people in public)..Cos I wouldn't want people to hate my mother cos of me...
#And there are women all over the place who are mere child-bearers and not Mothers..
#Before u castigate Kaffy's mother, remember that most women have really lost touch with the distinct joy of Womanhood..Too much suffering, too much dirty fashion, too much suppression in a man's world..Too much of everything bad..Before u judge based on what Faffy said, have u ever thought that there might be another side to the story...

#I know some people have gone through worse but will never ever say anything negative about their mothers in public.

Too much suffering you say? So too much suffering is enough reason to sell your daughter's dignity? Why didn't she go and prostitute herself instead? Why didn't she sacrifice her own body instead?
I grew up up in abject poverty so I know what it feels like to go to bed hungry. I could write you a 25-chapter book on poverty. Yet our mum would be very disappointed in us if she found out my sisters and I were not and will not be virgins on our wedding days. So stop giving excuses for such shameless so-called mothers/fathers who deserve to be sent on exile! There is no excuse for child trafficking! Traffick yourself instead of your children. Chikena!
How do you expect us to curb child trafficking if we keep protecting such mothers/fathers? You see, the problem with people like you is that you guys don't see into the future. You don't want to or you don't care to ask yourseleves what will happen if this continues? Think about your future generation and what they stand to gain in a saner environment where their dignities are respected and they don't have to go through the trauma you went through

ItsModella: Exactly. Carrying a child in your womb for 9 months doesn't make you a mother. If you like, carry the child for 9 years, if you show no love, care or support towards that child, then you're not a mother.

Sometimes Nigerians just make me sick to my stomach. I feel like throwing up!

(

kulyie: exactly.prostitution and rape live a scar in the mentality of a woman permanently,nothing expect purification by God can remove that scene from her mind.no amount of counselling can do anything.i remember when i was doing my nysc in a female ngo,and so we were jisting and then one of my colleagues then asked that oga nko? We assumed she was married anyway and she said,mio ti marry o (meaning i am not married ) then my colleague retorted 'at your age' she was in her mid 3os so when we pressured her to know why she wasnt married,she said when she was young,her father used her as a means of entertainment to entertain guests,for example,if her fathers friends come to greet him,instead of offering coke or fanta,it is the girl that will be offered for sex,the father will literarily force her to sleep with his friends and each time she gets pregnant,her mother or father will take her for abortion.they subjected her so much mental abuse that she couldnt open up to anybody.this happened for years that she aborted several times.now the doctor said she cant get pregnant again,she was sad and she decided not to get married because if she does and her husband and people find out she has a damaged womb and cant get pregnant,they will chase her out,so instead of embarassing herself,she decided to remain single.so you can imagine so many disgusting things families bury inside their house.by the way she is just one of millions of victims

:'

Wait a minute people, what's the definition of a mother?
A mother is not necessarily a woman who has gone through labour pains, a mother is ANY woman who LOVEs, PROTECTS, and NUTUREs a person or people and helps them to grow to be useful individuals in the society.
Now, just because a woman went through labour pains does not automatically qualify her to be a mother. How can a you call yourself a mother and even allow the idea of prostitution germinate in your daughters head? Does anybody have an idea what prostitution and it's effects can cause? That is the worst thing, after rape, that could ever happen to a woman! Then somebody will come her and tell me that "she is still her mother no matter what?" Hello? but if she were a real mother, she would have been the one sacrificing her own body, pride, dignity, and essence for her daughter and not the other way round!
If girls/women like kaffy do not expose such mothers, how then will the society be able to rid themselves of such mothers? (and it will surprise you to know the number of such so-called "mothers" we have around the place! I know one who brings old men to her house to sleep with and molest her daughters!)That's the annoying thing about Nigerians we just enjoy suffering and smiling all in the name of sentiments! That's why why we cannot speak against bad leaders just because they are "our sons and daughters"
Smh in disgust! Don't you just dare criticize Kaffy cos you have no idea what she went through and the pains she still remembers when she thinks about her past!
I feel like slapping some people here wallahi!

mercylicious: On point.

Most good companies have max age for each job position recruitment and for most companies, its 27 and very few coys take 28. Sum like gt and access prefer 25. So, at 28, u r very lucky to be considered. This is a hard truth.

Considering ur age, gaining an Msc witout work experience is like shooting urself.
Defer the admission, take up d diamond offer, work there even if its a year, then bolt.

You are very right! op should take the job offer, work for @ least two years, then fly away to the U.S. That's why I said it depends on his uncle's readiness to accept him there anytime

When some people hear bank, oil coy, telecomms, they immediately start dreaming of big salaries.
See, getting a job there is one thing, climbing up the ladder is another thing entirely esp in the banking and telecomms sector where most recruitments are internal and all incoming people must start from ground level! wo, you go sweat tire! (speaking as an insider) It is degrees like this that helps push you up the ladder (along side connections o!) so OP, you NEED that degree if you are a go-getter and planning to climb as high as you can in the corporate world.

This is quite tricky sha
But if you were my brother, I would advise you to go to U.S.A for the Msc. While you are there, try and find a job to do in an office setting so you can have some experience (if you want to come back to Nigeria)
But I can guarantee you this, with your American Msc, the day you land a job in Nigeria, it will be at least 5 times the diamond bank offer. Also, you may choose to stay in the U.S when you are through. We all know it will be easier to get a good job there.
Banking these days is nothing to write home about, except you have a top position, your job is not secure o! However, you may choose to accept the diamond bank offfer, work for two years, then fly to the U.S for the MSc, come back to Nigeria and you won't have much trouble landing a dream job.
At the end of the day, it all boils down to your connections here in Nigeria and your uncle's willingness to accept you there anytime you are ready.
But meanwhile, make sure you accept and start working in diamond bank until your U.S papers are ready

collins123: The things we do for frontpage!

One by one the SS will full nairaland and arrest all these monikers wey dey abuse the present administration.

The risk we take for NL front page.

Wow, the OP go don high on pammi now. Frontpage honour no be small thing.

Oya go snap a recent pic with DaGrin dead body.

And what's so wonderful about making front page? The way some people idolize this front page ehn, pesin go think say na gate way to to success. Unless I'm posting about vital issues affecting the general good of the country or about life in general, I don't give a damn about the front page.
Mark Zuckerberg didn't become rich and famous by making NL front page! You guys really need to spend more time away from Nairaland or spend more time in more educating/enlightening topics and sections here

BoboYekini: lol, not that. I mean your topics haven't made it to the frontpage recently.

Only two of my topics have ever made front page.
I have started only 3 threads since I came back, one of which made front page.
Stop following the crowd and learn to have your own mind. It pays better, trust me. For one thing, it will help you stop looking like a zoombie when you talk about things you don't know nada about just because you see others talking and instead help you study people / things more before jumping to conclusions.

BoboYekini: Yes, I noticed you haven't been on the frontpage lately...

Did you mean to say I have been commenting only on front page topics lately?

Looks like we are in for some drama!
let the war begin.

BoboYekini: hmm...when they start with you, just remember you have my shoulder to cry on

Start with me ke? Abeg! I don wise up. Haven't you noticed I'v been kinda reserved since I returned?

ShyM-X:
Appeal is different...

If you post this guy's picture(s) on a black British forum - I swear 70% of the chics on there would call him gay...

Remember the old, sweet, pretty, and fruity looking young Craig Davids?? - most black chics in the UK didn't find him attractive back then...

smh pitifully.
I can't believe some guys actually stayed up all niight just to protest against ladies drolling over a get-to-see-once-in-a-blue-moon beautifully-handsome guy!
Thought it was only ladies with this kind of envy?

sweetguy10: Well the guy is cute but I know lots of black girls that can't stand fair guys. I'm cute and fair myself but some girls Just don't dig me .

I prefer my guys dark. But this one is hot enough to make me change my mind

Jesus is lord of my soul!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Abasi mbok!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jesu Oluwa wa!

Holy Moses of chukwuemeka!

yemmyyy: very inspiring piece.Though i have 3 bank accounts but due to the long queues at these banks i was discouraged to keep up my savings.i had to visit a carpenter shop one day to construct four (4)wooden save boxes (kolo in yoruba) for me. since then i have been saving more than 5k per month into all these boxes.

Ah what if the boxes get stolen??!!!

Op God bless you for this. Some people really need urgent lesson on how to save money.
At the end of the month, you see people updating "salary tinz" but by the 2nd week of the next month, those same people will come to borrow money from from you! The annoying thing is that most of these people earn more than you do! I don't mince words when such people come to me. I tell them (as politely as I can) that if I hadn't been saving money, I would have been borrowing like them too!
people give the excuse that they earn too little for not being able to save. However the truth is that the higher you earn, the more responsibilities you attract and the more expensive your tastes get! So no salary is ever enough! I know an Akwa-Ibom local govt chairman who started riding okada one year after leaving office but this man was worth over 100 million when he was in office!!! So I therefore tell them (as politely as I can) that I will not be helping them if I borrowed them money because I will only be creating more problem for them in the long run!
Overspending and borrowing are the chief reasons why people do not save. Once these can be tackled, saving will become easier.
The key point about saving money is this: ALWAYS SAVE WHAT YOU WANT TO SAVE BEFORE SPENDING. NEVER SAVE AFTER SPENDING. Spend what is left after you have saved and not the other way round as there often wont be anything left for you to save after spending.
Whenever you have overspent or when things get too hard for you, NEVER BORROW UNLESS IT IS A LIFE/DEATH SITUATION OR TO PAY AN OVER DUE HOUSE/SHOP RENT OR TO PAY CHILDREN'S SCHOOL FEES. Anything outside that, please go and soak garri or wear rags!
Also, stop lending money to people unless they are in critical situations as stated earlier.
I'm still single (as at now) and thank Jesus I am lucky not to be in any tight corners, but I think this could be of help. Here is a layout of how I manage my total earnings (including outside salary money) per month;

1. Tithes - 10%
2. Savings- between 65%-70%
3. Other things- between 25%-20%

That is the order of priority I have have been following religiously for a year and a half now ever since I uncovered the power of saving.

Delafruita: are you high?lets assume this jesus actually existed(though there is no proof he ever did),did he ever set foot outside syria?did his mythical cabinet have representatives of other countries or continents?

have you ever read the bible?? If you have you will see where Jesus repeatedly stated clearly that he came for the whole world and not just the Isrealites. He stated it clearly "WHOSOEVER that believes"
please get yourself a good news or NIV version of the bible and read the books of matthew to acts of the Apostles. And please read it with an open heart.
As for proof of whether he existed, when you allow him into your heart, you will get all the proof you need! It's really not something that can be explained unless it is experienced first hand.

obadiah777: SATAN WORKS IN CONJUNCTION WITH GOD. SATAN IS NOT THE ENEMY YOU THINK HE IS. HE IS THE ENEMY IF THE LORD ALLOWS HIM TO JACK YOU UP. HOWEVER HE NEEDS PERMISSION FROM THE LORD BEFORE HE CAN DO HIS DAMAGE. HE IS THE LORDS POLICE-MAN ON EARTH. AN EVIL ANGEL THAT DELIVERS JUSTICE ON BEHALF OF THE LORD. HE DOES NOT ACT ON HIS OWN. THATS AN OLD MYTH. IF YOU WANT VERSES TO WHAT I JUST TOLD YOU I WOULD BE HAPPY TO SUPPLY EM.
JOB 1 VS 12 And the Lord said unto Satan, Behold, all that he hath is in thy power; only upon himself put not forth thine hand. So Satan went forth from the presence of the Lord.

It's not everybody Satan needs to take permission from God for. Study your bible harder my dear

Delafruita: did ghandi do it for money?did mandela do it for money?did the red indian chiefs do it for money?did the multitude of people who died in the course of history fighting injustice do it for money?

you dont realise how ridiculous the bolded sounds.try reading it analytically

Oh really? Ghandi, mandela, red indians, etc were beaten with horse whips, were given crowns of throngs, and crucified So they died on the cross?
Besides, Mandela went through what he went through for South Africans, Ghandi did his for Indians, but our lord Jesus did his for the whole wide world. Can't you just see that the difference is clear??!!!
na wa o!

OP, you got the concept all wrong and I'm really so shocked at the way some people reason and are so fast to just jump to conclusions about things without taking their time to study it.
First and foremost, you say you can go through all that for a billion $ right? So would many money-crazy people. But you missed the plot here. Jesus did not do it for a million $, he did it to save you and I from the hands of the devil, and give us eternal life.
He was already God before he became man. he was already living in majestic splendor in heaven so didn't do it for that (although the name and blood of Jesus is so powerful now because of this act) bear in mind that he was already God and owned everything before all that.
So while you would be doing it for money, and personal gains, Jesus did it for love. You cannot begin to imagine the pain he went through as the kind of death he died is one of the worst way of dying ever! He died for everyone and for whosoever that believes in him so Christianity is for everybody and whosoever and not just the Oyibos, as some ignorant Africans like to tell themselves.
Get it?

kramer: Yes she would appreciate it but i bet you she wouldn't demand it or say her husband doesnt love her if he hadnt done it. That's the point i'm trying to make.



Yes it's one of the ways, meaning there are other ways a man can express his love without money being invovled. And not spending money does not automatically mean he doesn't love you.



Yes i accept that there are essentials which a man should shed some money on, but what I dislike is when women believe they are entitled to being spoilt and say you don't love them if you don't spoil them.. huh?? .. The gifts should come from the heart not because he feels he needs to meet her material demands.



Money neednt be used as a way to measure anything related with love please!

I can assure you there are women who just want love and companionship above anything else, though its hard to find women like this in Nigeria.

I rest my case.

Abeg, I'm tired of explaining myself to you.
You just want to justify your stinginess or laziness. That's all!
Bye!

six one: And WTF ι̥ƨ all †ђǝ Gender Equality bullshit? Den ι̥f Folorunsho or whatever buys her man an Italian shoe or take him out ƒσя dinner it becomes A̶̲̅ sin. †ђǝ guy will den be labelled A̶̲̅ Golddigger huh? Make una fry MESS chop. Guess you took †ђǝ bitter pill this afternoon

You misunderstand me. Besides, I'm not a feminist and in my first post I stressed my belief for ladies to retain their feminity no matter the level they are.
I believe in fairness, justice and respect not gender equality. I believe men and women have separate roles which should never be over-mixed or confused to avoid problems like this. But that is as per relationships
When it comes to life in general, like work, politics, etc, then women should be given equal rights to show what they have got to offer.
There is no problem with a woman buyng things for her man. I do it and I can testify that it spices up a relationship. However, it should be a two-way thing and not her doing most of the giving. So Alakija can buy her hubby an estate as long as he keeps buying her things too. It's just a way of caring and sharing among lovers. It is an indispensable tool for spicing up a relationship

kramer: Ok thanks for clearing that up, i now know where you and your mother are coming from.

Not to sound rude but i believe that women who believe they are entitled to these things from men are usually material women, and I have noticed most of them who have this trait are usually always in want. I also know for a fact that there are women who don't get phased by all these things because they themselves can get it and so nothing impresses them other than the feeling of being cared for emotionally not financially. These women are usually the independent types...never in want.



And regarding this statement


A man in love will do what he feels will make his woman happy.. if she's material = money ... if she's not = love + respect

let me tell you a fact, Folorunsho Alakija will blush if her husband surprises her with a dinner date tonight or a pair of diamond earrings. Not because she cannot afford to take herself to eat in that restaurant, or because she cannot afford the diamond earrings, but because it was thoughtful of her husband to think of buying those things with the money he worked hard for.
Don't you get it? It's a romantic gesture! One of the ways of showing that she's on your mind.
Like I said earlier, you cannot love a woman and not bring out money for her. It's just not possible. Won't you take her out on dates? Won't you give her something on her birthday, vals, Christmas, etc? Won't you spend credit to call her? You can see what I mean now don't you?
Remember the key word here is that it is just a romantic gesture to show that you care and that she is worth your money. Even if she has hers.
Show me a woman who doesn't want her man to buy her lil thoughtful gifts once in a while and I will show you a woman who wants to control you.
Chikena!

kramer: Do explain then... cause from what i can decipher from your post, if a fairly reasonable man decides not to give you the money he worked hard for but decides to spend it on something else, like investing in shares and bonds, then according to your mother he doesn't love you??

*sighs and prays that this explanation will be well comprehended by them*
See bros, I didn't say that you should empty your purse on your babe. What I mean is that you cannot claim to love your girl if you cannot buy her little gifts once in a while just to put a smile on her face (pls note that buying gifts is not the only way of making her smile) they don't have to be expensive gifts, just thoughtful gifts to show that you appreciate her. just to surprise her.
It could be in form of dinner dates, outtings, etc.
If you earn a salary and you cannot do this for your babe (after you have already invested of course) then you are not just stingy, but very selfish. Love is not selfish so you cannot truly love a woman and not give her something from your pocket. It's not possible!
If you doubt me, go and ask your dad how he wooed your mum or ask any happy couple of at least 10 years how the lady was wooed......and how she was retained.
Don't let anybody decieve you, money is an important part of romance. However the amount of it all depends on the size of your pocket. A woman who truly loves you will not allow you go broke just so you can please her.

kramer:

.. Sorry may i ask where you're from?

And I can bet you misinterpreted me there

I'm so happy that more ladies are now opening their eyes to this.
There have been an increasing number of them roaming about the whole place looking for ladies with powerful surnames or fat pay cheques to toast.
They cover this act up by claiming they don't want a "liability" and that they want an independent, resourceful, blah blah blah, woman.
Ladies of nowadays seem to give them more oppurtunity to do this because many of us are now turning into "career women" They now want to achieve to a certain extent before they settle down. Some of them are just stubborn feminists who just want to prove that they can do whatever a man can do.
These gold diggers take advantage of such women because by the time the career lady has "achieved" her target, she is already in her 30s and consciously or unconsciously getting desparate to marry. The gold diggers thereby comes in, strokes her ego, then before we know it, he starts milking her. If she is lucky, he will marry her, but we will all know why!
It is women like this that are now making our men lazy. In the past, men worked really hard to cater for themselves and their families. Their pride will not allow them collect free money from a woman without paying her back. But what do we have today? I'm not saying that women should not work and be independent, In fact I'm all for it. But trying too hard to prove that you are independent will only be detrimental at the end. Sometimes, a women got to just sit back allow a man spoil her you know.
My mum always told me that any man who truly loves you will HAPPILY spend his hard earned money on you.