beautifulsoul12:
Good morning everyone. I have to create this account to post this.
I can't even sleep at night lately.

I'm so tired and I need help right now. I have been doing this all by myself for so long now, without much complain but now, I need help.
Before I got married to my husband, I didn't know he had a seasonal mental health challenge, but not violent.

I met him in the university, he was in medicine, he had dreams, very ambitious, one of the best in his department, Working his way to travel abroad to continue his education. We were just friends, but I liked him. He kept on asking me out, but I declined. I wanted to graduate first.
We parted ways in year two. He changed school, so, I knew nothing about him again till years later.
Reconnected with him years later after graduation, to my greatest surprise, he didn't graduate, wasted all his resources and couldn't travel out. We still love each other, so we got married.
after the birth of my first child, I wanted to leave him, but I couldn't because he was a good man, but with too many changes and I was the only one who truly care and was there for him.
Three years ago, he became much better. He got a small job, Started bringing in little for upkeep. I saw change and I was happy. We had our second child last year after 8yrs.
Since early this year, the whole thing came up again. Since then, he became jobless again.
The financial burden is all on me. Right now, we can't afford to renew our rent.
I lost my business capital some times ago in wrong business, since then, it has been so much struggles.

I'm trying hard but it's not enough.
I'm thinking of working away, but to where? what about my children? Who will be there for them? What about him? But I'm tired of being in a marriage where I have to struggle for everything, where I can not depend on my man.
Pls, help us renew our house rent.

What do I do?

Hello ma'am...

I can imagine what things looks like right now around you..

First, you need to see there is a problem on ground and be super ready to solve it.
Try sit your man down and ask him if he truly wish to be financially independent and will be ready to bounce back.

Or better still, try and involve his family members (his mum as well) so he can be talked to as well.

Fixing your rent is something that can be crowd funded... But you know how online guys are, they will drag you well before help will eventually come.... But be strong and intentional for the result to come

Finchmgh:
Very good.
I applaud the killers. Girls need to be wiped out.
They are the cause of our problems.
Evil gender.
They should have set her miserable lifeless body ablaze.

Woow are you fucking kidding me??

StJasper:




I can never support such inhuman act of beating another human being to death but I have a question for you: IF ALL MEN ARE BEAST, WHICH SPECIE IS YOUR FATHER?

Omo see question Nairaland guys are becoming wild these days

Zonefree:

Nigerian girls are not programmed to love, why then are you searching for same love you can't give?

Nigerian girls don't even love in the first place, they are only with you because you have what they need, when that thing stops being available..... sope otilo!!

emitsu123:
And who is earning 60k that want to date you


Don't you know that,that wealthy guy you want to date may lost all his wealth overnight

Potential HBP giver
Nosense

Oga calm down na that's her personal wish. Drop your own wish na

Princewill1:
Nigeria's 200m population is projected to hit 400million by 2050 no thanks to dvmb people like the Op and also by that period, Nigeria crude oil proceeds will reduce heavily owning to the massive usage of electric vehicles in EU and North America.

A period of super-massive population explosion with lower GDP will mean hell on earth in Nigeria. Hyper crime rates with excruciating hunger and poverty... It's just 27yrs from now.

The govt in Nigeria should as a matter of urgency implement 2child policy in the country. Persons like the Op should be arrested and castrated if possible because an arm robber that will kill and terrorize our towns and villages in 10 yrs time maybe be traced to what the op did today.

If only the government can quickly see this and yield to it asap..... But NO, they will never think along such direction

Dyfynezz12:
Funny enough this man wey dey rant so fit still born another one to complete am half a dozen.

his nozzle is ever ready....

He is NNPC who releases freely as he gets the huge

We4all:
I have zero pity for the likes of you. In fact, even if I had the means to assist, I will NEVER help people like you.

Do u know why? I will tell you. It's because some of you have decided not to have sense. Do you think those that gave birth to a child because that's the number they can afford to cater for are fools?

I don't know how some of you reason. The hardship you were facing wasn't enough, you choose to drag innocent kids into it. Now, you're running away from your responsibilities.

I will tell you the same thing that I always say to 'irresponsible parents'. If you can't train your kids, go and sell them. There will be willing buyers who will help you lessen the burden.

Thanks for saying it the way it is....

Most people in this part of the world don't do smart forecast before they jump into an unpredictable pool...

He puts himself into the mess, if he's lucky maybe one or two of these kids will do well layer in the future (but still under probability).... Excess kids without proper training while growing mostly likely end up street touts..

To make matter worst, he doesn't even have good and stable main hustle not to even talk of side hustle....

This is SHEGE PRO MAX

ShaqFu:
Well it's obvious someone else is paying her bills. With that salary, it is virtually impossible for her to maintain that apartment, probably the senator is the one paying the bills.

This is what most men do, they rent apartments for their lady friend and go their to relax and Fvck the hell out of them. Going to hotels might be risky, so apartments is what they use.

Just move on. It's the only way forward. I'm telling you, one day she'll get tired of being fvcked by different money bags and start looking for one lucky loser to wife her. No hard feeling bro, move on.

After the tour they will eventually give in to any guy that is ready.... Not necessarily who they love. That's the way most of them are wired. That's why most times you just Bleep them and move on (if less than 24years) it's a big crime to fall in love

A woman will always be loyal to her emotions and not a man's sacrifice. Mr. Oga just move on jejely..

The only thing that can make her have a U turn is when her goods suddenly becomes unattractive again... If she's in her early 20's, uncle she's got a loooooong ride before her .....

Sope otilo

Edipet:
Fire don burn your community??

shey Lagos never full like this...

Jashub:
Women love men on the premise that they provide value , men on the other hand truly love women . Which is why as a man , never ever waste your resources chasing women , especially the ones flaunting on social media

Your last statement... "Especially the ones flaunting on social media"

SmartyPants:
Well for you I think it may be too late - you may need to adjust your dreams a little.

But I think this thread should be a warning to the unmarried - don't rush into marriage. Before you do, you need to work and build up to the stage where marriage will help you develop your dreams, not hinder them.

2 years ago, a colleague from the university who had gotten married looked me in the eye and said Smarty don't do it! - until you've accomplished your self development dreams otherwise marriage may become a trap.

Get that master's first. Build that side business first. Buy that car first. if within reach, build that house first. And not getting married early doesn't mean running around with women either.

Is it possible to like this comment 100 times?

You said it all... We are all wired differently, with different upbringing... So many advisers and pressure inducing persons everywhere... But just very few will be ready to help with that resources of life you need to climb up.

Tayorshd2:



U be mumu can u go to nassarawa and said it belongs to nobody ?

Or go to Kaduna and say d the same and Hausa people no go roast u sharo sharp ...

Besides victor is a Yoruba boy too but using LP as a party to face sanwo olu ....

So don't scatter things with ur small sense

Leave the madman let him keep saying jagoons.... I see the yorubas made a big mistake accommodating idiots like him for him to say such.

If Sanwolu gets re-elected the accommodating nature of the yorubas will dry up....

I wanted LP to win initially but the way its going the igbos felt they have the right to point fingers in a Yoruba territory

TimT:
Lol...The reason why I love listening to Ups and Downs in Mariage life is because every relationship has a unique problem.....
In this case, it's already obvious the man is running away from his problems/responsibility.....
How could you as a man lie to your wife about going to work and travel out OMG!!!!!!
Okay let's agree with the man that the wife is not a good person, how about the children? Why can't you take the kids and run to anywhere
Well naturally, Everyman can father a child but NOT EVERY MAN CAN BE A DAD TO A CHILD....
In my opinion, let him go forever.....
If he needs kids, he is still potent, and I'm sure there are women there; so he can conceive...

God bless you my brother.... Any man who entertain such thought is purely a COWARD!!

You must have seen all this red flags in this woman but you ignored. He just shot himself on the foot showcasing himself as a bad father to his kids

Lolz... Our ladies are going crazy and the smart ones among them ain't calling them to order... A time is coming when some ladies will walk along the streets with just pants on them.

ugodson:
If truly he said this, i have Never insulted buhari before but now he is a real Buffoon and a mad man

You should have waited till the end of his tenure na

Brendaniel:
And Tinubu is saying he wants to rescue Nigeria from your hands at the same time saying he wants to continue from where you stopped...

APC is the most confused party in this election

As in its just so funny and annoying

Sirseedorf:
I feel weak, terrible and hopeless. I lost my job today due to management change of system, I never saw it coming, in fact it came as a shock to me. Am just confused on what to do next, I have huge responsibility ahead of me, even now, I have to find something doing or else negative thought and depression will kill me faster than gunshots. I can't cry out physically but inside I feel pain as if a knife as pierce my heart, my self esteem is weak, my life is heading on a rock, I don't bet, never drink nor womanize, I just want a better life for myself, but it seems better life might never be achieved while still leaving with joblessness and failure status.
Help me nairalander, I don't know what might become of me in the next few days or weeks.

That's naija for you, a country with so many shockers.... Next time, always be prepared for an alternative in every engagement you find yourself.

That's what makes you a man, ability to stay strong in the mist of serious challenges. Try get another job and try grow your own side hustle.

Interesting.... If APC looses Osun State, they are in big trouble���

Kibbs:
I'm 22, currently in my 3rd year (first semester) of a 5year course - Elect Elect. The problem is it's a course I have no passion or likeness for.

A lot of days, since 20lvl to be exact, I'm in class and I'm like "What am I doing here?". I see how my coursemates faces light up when something new is being taught or when practicals are going on but it's the exact opposite for me. I'm unattentive in 80% of the classes and no matter how hard I try, I'm never as focused during practicals like the rest cus I just don't have any interest in going on.

The two solutions I'm considering :
The first is to change courses, although that will set me back a year which means I'll be 25 by the time I'm done, 26 if NYSC is calculated. I already lost 4yrs waiting for admission so the thought of being setback another year makes me cringe esp when I'll be just a few years from 30 when I'm eventually done. That is if the possibility of yet another ASUU strike isn't considered o. Time is precious.

The second is just dropping out and maybe going to one of the recognised IT institutions to study an industry course cus I still have interest in IT related stuff. Infact, it was once a discussion during the days I was still home struggling to get into school so I'm sure I'll be backed. If I were to change courses sef in school, it would've been computer science. Another advantage of this for me is I'll be in Lagos permanently where I'll have opportunities to do several other things I want to do by the side as opposed to being in Ogbomosho (which is dead) where my school is. I never wanted to leave lag in the first place bit unilag had other ideas.


Well that's it.

Inputs welcome.


Would appreciate if this was moved to fp.

See, one funny thing about life lately is that it has got too many distractions. Guy you are in 300 level at 22?

That's pretty cool if you ask me, Engineering courses will sharpen up your critical thinking big time. I suggest you hang on (less than 3years to go) and grab your certificate.

Tech sector is indeed the hottest now, but the truth is its really wide and you need a good degree to stand firm on to dive into tech, not as a requirement thou but you easily digest all based on the drilling from engineering background.

Finally, try and concentrate to finish this program even if you end up with 2-2. @ 25 you're good to go into the job market.

Zanzibar1:
I have come here to raise this issue because i believe someone must have passed through what i am going through at the moment.

There is this Lady i met in March, she is super classy and has all the curves and looks like a model. What brought us together was just a friendly convo and a friendly tease that i admire her nails and since then she has been all over me.
She asked me if i lived alone and i told her i currently stay with a friend because i just relocated to the city based on job hunting levels. She asked what my plan was and i told her that i would like to first get an apartment while i sort out other things.

I don't know what exactly she does for a living although she said she sells women hairs, bags and shoes. I have actually seen her post them on her whatsapp. What surprise me the most was that she doesn't deny me access to her phone. This made me to loosen my grip a bit regarding my phone privacy ... Then one day, she saw a loan app message requesting me to pay my outstanding debt, she asked me how come and i told her the truth that i was seriously broke and i wanted to take her out. I wanted the two of us to go swim together and have fun. And that was why i took the loan. She frowned and asked why i was stressing myself to impress her .
She transfered some money to me to offset the debt. it all happened like juju. i am still trying to wrap my head around that.

I am trying my best to fit in with her but something is really off somewhere. I don't want to assume i know entirely what she does for a living but then, i have grown to really admire her. I wouldn't want to call it love but all my thoughts are always about her nowadays. Like 4 days ago i questioned her about some friends of hers i saw on her icloud and since then she has been giving me tough time.

Lately, she told me point blank that if i cant get my own apartment, she'll have to stop dating me. she said she is ready to even pay part of the money involved but a nigga got nothing to afford even a face me and face you room. I have tried my best to explain to her how i am even surviving and how broke i am to get a 150k self con. She keeps saying i am going to get a job and ill be fine, that i am a man and i will certainly raise the money if she as a lady can raise part of it.

I dont know why she believes so much in that tho cuz i have been very opened to her. My mind has been filled up and i dont have anyone to share it with thats why i brought it here. i have my doubts about her but i love her.

Please pardon any typos, i am writing this straight from my heart

Uncle, you should be smart enough to know that lady truly likes you and won't mind you bought start something serious.

Sit her down and open up completely to her every damn thing about you and I'm sure she will tell you hers as well.

Try get something doing, if possible get a bankable skills first maybe something in the area of ICT.

Finally, get close to her and together you guys can work things out with combined ideas. The truth here is SHE TRULY LOVES you and that alone is a big PLUS

Congrats Sis... Just ignore those bad belles jare. Try to keep your relationship and marriage life off social media because negative news go faster & sells faster for influencers/bloggers

Sonn:
hmmmmmm i hope and pray so every day and night, but' am afraid, because under this Apc, many things are possible.

Lolz.... If the youth based in Nigeria are determined....

Yes it will be BLOODY because these CRAZY guys have TOUTS scattered across Nigeria.

They (APC Govt) will be voted out live and direct..

But the question on ground is, which party has the best candidate apart from the USELESS ones from APC and PDP??

FreeStuffsNG:

It's too early in the year to be hating on your fellow human being but like most you, you don't learn to cut your loses and you're not ashamed losing all the time because of your bitterness. Sir, you always lose and will still lose again las las when,like the PMB most of you hold in contempt, Asiwaju Tinubu wins again. Hatred can't bring forth anything good.

I laugh when you concentrate your submission on HATRED....

For crying out loud, how the hell did we get to this level? All because of a POT OF PORRIDGE you can't see the truth and stand by it.

I dare you to say all the point stated above ain't TRUE about your USELESS leader TINUBU??

Surprisingly you kept on talking about HATRED.... I don't even know him personally, so what the hell will make me HATE him?

Finally uncle, you can do your election manipulations as usual to make him president but write it down today, because you have IGNORED the pain of the MASSES under BUHARI and accept to put in another USELESS person... God himself will deal with you and every other person contemplating same to DESTROY NIGERIA the more.

FreeStuffsNG:

Hahaha....You're either too young during the tenure of Asiwaju Tinubu or you are an outsider not from Lagos.
Happy New Year sir. It's too early in the year to start hating on your fellow human being. If Asiwaju Tinubu is not your candidate,find one but let those of us who love and admire him celebrate him..
On the mandate of Asiwaju Tinubu I stand. May God bless Asiwaju Tinubu and may God bless Nigeria.
Please if you are reading this post, I urge you to vote Asiwaju Tinubu. He is an experienced public administrator and a true Nigerian Patriot. He did wonders in Lagos and will do great wonders with other patriotic Nigerians when he becomes the President in 2023.
All the enemies of Nigeria will lose las las. They always lose. God bless Nigeria forever.

Lolz.... Why not invite him to rule over your entire lineage.

It's obvious you are part of those who benefited from the plastic-paint rice collectors from his burdillon home.

......Is it the same Tinubu that fix people into governorship position as if he owns Lagos..... No wonder Sanwoolu can't do more than instruction given to him. Ambode was removed using politics by same Tinubu due to the fact that he never danced to his turns.


......is it same Tinubu that already purchased the entire assets of Lagos to only himself. Google is your friend, do research on his entire assets in Lagos.

.....or is it same Tinubu who saw how youths were killed at tollgate and masterminded how the light was switched off for the whole world not to see what transpired. Till today justice has not been served alongside APOLOGY to the entire Lagos youth.

...... Is is the same TINUBU that allows too many TOUTS in Lagos in the name of Agberos because he will definitely use them when the time of election comes

Finally, if the millions your family are getting from him is what is not making you THINK straight, just know your children will CURSE you one day for bringing shame on them due to your GREEDINESS.

... Press all the button you and your goons want to press for TINUBU to emerge the next president.... God will fight for the entire Nigerians and save us from A TYRANNY as president

tife4eva:
Hello,
My mom is lovely but lately I'm getting fed up with her. She is someone that requires people to do every single thing for her without lifting a finger. Asides earning money to train her children, which I'm forever grateful for.

I can say that all my life, I can count how many times I've seen my mother cook or pick a broom, talkless of lay her bed.

Growing up, I thought it was very normal since our culture is one where you have to be very respectful and help your elders. I have many siblings so we all did everything for the house and for her. But lately, with the older ones settling down and moving out, I'm left with her.

It has gotten to the extent that my unmarried siblings also avoid the house because it's not easy living with her. We got her a maid to help around but it's not a permanent solution especially with expenses.

I'm a student and I came home this break while the maid travels back home for Christmas. The whole situation is quite tiring for me. I was baffled today when, while I was choked up cooking Christmas food for us and guests coming later, she called me to rub cream on her foot, like why can't she do it herself. The fact that she didn't even help with any of the cooking and arrangements was painful enough.

My siblings have given up on her as they believe she's used to it already and she can't change. I've been told that my late dad pampered her and got several maids for her so she has been doing this for so long already. My father died when I was little.

I've taken it as not a big deal but I'm beginning to think of moving to another state after graduation just because of this issue.

I don't know whether to confront her about her attitude. Or whether that would make me disrespectful or ungrateful to her.

Uncle this is so wrong..... You've got nothing to do than to manage the situation... Don't let her to curse you o

Tinubu needs to loose the presidency come 2023 while another party take over Lagos ... That's the only way these hoodlums can be dealt with

But why are some guys really bitter about this young lady?

Igbojihadist:
Good day nairalanders there is this very girl I love so much. I have expressed my feeling to her but she keeps telling me she is not ready yet. It has been four years now and am finding it difficult to move on or love any other girl.

Its ruining me as all i do each day is to think of her, atimes I might decide not to call her again within three days or what she would call me telling me is this the type of love I have for her. I am overwhelmed but she doesn't understand how i feel (please i need advice) plz anyone who would remind me of the present economy should stay off as ur problem is not mine.

Uncle.... It's obvious she knows you are so obsessed with her, reason why she kept tormenting you.

I am even sure she will be extorting money from you as well, damn it bro, 4 years is too much sir.... Focus and ensure you develop yourself to be successful.

Finally, if you had purchased your own house alongside 2 or 3 cars, you won't be saying all these.... My brother na them go rush you.

Aunty, that your new path of being born-again making you see other Christians inferior will do nothing than to make you a potential hypocrite. Don't be stupid to loose a man who loves you all because you didn't pray.

He that findeth a wife has got a good thing, this is what the bible says.... Its a 45 to 50 years contract, stay with your man and let go extremist way of life of being born again

Hello guys..... please I need a level 2 Nigerian verified account for sale. send me a mail if you have one for sale.

tideal20@gmail.com