₦airaland Forum

guys
dont get this wrong. dunno why d moderator named dis topic this way, but there's no such thing as a chipped ps3. also bluray and hddvd movies have been cracked, yes, but its not d same thing as cracking a ps3 game. also, even if we were able to copy it, how would you run it off a ps3, without the hardware security sectors?

From http://www.alternet.org/rights/46925/

Julie Amero, a 40-year-old substitute teacher from Connecticut is facing up to 40 years in prison for exposing her seventh grade class to a cascade of pornographic imagery. Amero maintains that she is a victim of a malicious software infestation that caused her computer to spawn porn uncontrollably.

Adware, spyware and other infectious software are known hazards to security and privacy -- and when lax cybersecurity meets anti-porn hysteria, a mailware infection can even land you in jail. Malicious coders are getting more sophisticated all the time, but law enforcement and the criminal justice system aren't keeping up. A criminal conviction can hang on the difference between a deliberate mouse click and an involuntary redirect on an infested computer. Too often, even so-called experts can't tell the difference.

On the morning of Oct. 19, 2004, Julie Amero's life changed forever when pornographic ads flooded her web browser during a class. According to the prosecuting attorney, David Smith, Amero's computer began displaying images of naked men and women, couples performing sexual acts, and "bodily fluids."

Chances are, these kids had seen porn pop-ups before. Family Safe Media estimates that boys 12 to 17 consume more internet porn than any other group. The adults at Kelly Middle School, however, were shocked and scandalized. The next week, the school sent home a notice telling parents why Amero would never teach in the district again. She was arrested shortly thereafter and charged with multiple felonies.

At trial, six of Amero's former students testified that they saw pornographic images on her monitor, either from their seats, or when they came up to her desk. One student told the court that Amero pushed his face away from the screen when she saw him looking at the racy ads.

Millions of PCs worldwide are infected with some form of malicious software. An internal Microsoft report found that four million Windows machines were infected with some form of malicious software ("malware" in mid-2006.

Spyware, adware, worms and viruses are parasitic programs that can hijack web browsers, launch unsolicited pornographic ads, and even report the inner workings of a computer to a remote observer. Users routinely download these programs without realizing they've been infected.

Amero's attorney, John F. Cocheo, argued that malware was responsible for the pornographic images, not his client.

Detective Mark Lounsbury, a computer crimes officer at the Norwich Police Department testified as an expert witness for the prosecution. He maintained that Amero was intentionally surfing for pornography while her seventh grade class busied itself with language arts.

Lounsbury told the court that Amero musts have "physically clicked" on pornographic links during class time in order to unleash the pornographic pictures. However, he admitted under cross-examination that the prosecution never even checked the computer for malware.

Why didn't the police check for malicious software? According to prosecutor David Smith, the police didn't check for malware because the defense didn't raise the possibility of a malware attack during the pretrial phase, as required by law. Defense attorney Cocheo could not be reached for comment as of press time.

Herb Horner, the proprietor of the consulting firm Contemporary Computing Consultants, testified as an expert witness for the defense. His exhaustive independent forensic analysis of Amero's hard drive showed that the machine had been infected with multiple pieces of malicious software before she arrived at the school, and that these hidden programs were responsible for the pornographic deluge.

Horner arrived in court with two laptops filled with the voluminous records of his investigation. However, the judge only let him present two slides. Prosecutor Smith objected because his team hadn't been previously informed about the malware defense.

On Jan. 5, 2007, a Norwich jury found Amero guilty of four felony counts of "injury or risk of injury to, or impairing morals of, children." Each count carries a maximum sentence of 10 years and while it is unlikely that Amero will receive the maximum penalty, incarceration remains a very real possibility. Even if Amero avoids jail, she will be stripped of her teaching credentials unless the convictions are reversed.

News of the guilty verdict sparked widespread outrage, particularly in the IT community. How could a 40-year-old woman with no prior criminal record be facing such serious charges over a few pop-up ads?

"The fact that the machine was never scanned for spyware by the investigating authorities is outrageous. In fact, this alone should have resulted in the case being dismissed, as the defense found a major spyware infection by their expert forensic evidence," wrote Alex Eckelberry, the president of Sunbelt Software, a Florida-based firm that makes anti-spyware products.

In fairness, nobody involved with the case seems happy about the outcome, either.

Since the verdict, the Norwich Police Department has been bombarded with irate calls and emails from readers who accusing them of railroading an innocent person.

"We're getting pretty much everything short of death threats," detective Lounsbury said. "I'm getting thrashed," People read a news article, and they think they know what's going on, but they're missing 99 percent of it."

According to Lounsbury, some of parents whose children were exposed to the porn demanded an aggressive police response.

"You know what people need to understand?" Lounsbury continued. "These were 12-year-olds. They reported [the porn] to their teachers, the teachers went to the administrators who brought the complaints to the network administrators. Of course, the kids told their parents. Complaints were lodged with the police. This isn't China. This isn't North Korea , we're not Big Brother."

In the end, Amero's fate hinged on the dueling opinions of the two expert witnesses. Unfortunately, the legal system was ill-equipped to weigh their respective opinions.

The witness for the prosecution is a police officer who has to follow a very simple investigative algorithm. By all accounts, he executed his duties faithfully. Unfortunately, those responsible for evaluating his reports weren't sufficiently tech-savvy to place his findings in the proper context. ComputerCOP Pro, the software the police used to audit Amero's computer, is an automated user-friendly tool search tool designed for routine monitoring. It is not designed to definitively distinguish between user-generated clicks and the effects of malware.

Furthermore, the defense's expert witness was not allowed to share with the jury more of the evidence he had amassed. Herb Horner has 40 years of experience as a software engineer and an IT consultant. Over the past few decades, Horner has traveled the world to investigate computer glitches. His clients include a Swiss bank, a major airline and a national chain of hardware stores.

"I like to get to the bottom of things," Horner told AlterNet. "If there's a plane crash, I say don't just bury the bodies and take the trash to the dump. Find out what happened."

If the defense had told the prosecution about Horner's findings earlier, the prosecution might have been able to forestall problems by choosing an expert witness who was qualified to address Horner's testimony. Instead, the prosecution moved to suppress evidence that it wasn't prepared to handle.

Compared to Horner, the prosecution's expert witness has little formal IT training. Detective Lounsbury has completed two two-week FBI training seminars on computer security and other continuing education programs. He is also a certified user of the computer monitoring software ComputerCOP Pro.

Allison Whitney, ComputerCOP's director of communications, explained how her company certifies police officers to use the software:

"They get a full hour of training, and then they're tested," Whitney said. "A lot of these people don't have any kind of training. Their [superior] officers may give them some kind of low-level training. Most of the time we do the training over the phone."

ComputerCOP scans the hard drive and reports on when each file was created or modified. Lounsbury says he is satisfied that Amero intentionally viewed porn in class because the logs show that her computer accessed various inappropriate sites while she was sitting at the computer.

"I take that at face value," Lounsbury told Alternet. "It's evidence. It speaks for itself. The pop-up defense is a Twinkie defense."

Lounsbury said that Amero must have navigated to pornographic sites in order to have infected her computer with obscene popups. "You've got to get that ball rolling," he said.

Horner's analysis of Amero's hard drive cast doubt on Lounsbury's conclusions. Horner found that the computer had been infected with malware before she arrived.

"She was set up days or weeks before she ever sat down," Horner said.

Here are just a few of the red flags Horner discovered in course of his laborious forensic reconstruction: Anti-virus software triggered security alerts as soon as he started copying the hard disk for testing. The computer's Norton activity log showed that by the time Amero came to Kelly, her computer was already infected with spyware from notorious websites including marketscore.com and new.net.

One piece of spyware had been already been tracking the computer for about a month.

Horner also discovered that someone, presumably the computer's regular user, had been accessing eHarmony.com before Amero's visit. As he noted, dating sites are notorious for spreading porn-related adware.

Another program called Pasco showed that malware had automatically redirected Amero's browser. Horner stressed that this particular form of hijacking is invisible to ComputerCOP Pro.

On Oct. 19, someone did an online job search shortly after 8:00 a.m., activating several different malware apps. At approximately 8:15 a.m., someone accessed www.hair-styles.org, Horner suspects student involvement, in part because the next visit was to Crayola's homepage. Over the next several minutes, still more malware came alive, most likely triggered by the hair site.

The user kept surfing, and by this point, "crap was pouring into the computer at the speed of electricity," Horner said. The real point of no return was when the computer received a huge porn-filled Java file. From that point on, the machine was locked in an endless porn loop.

Note that Amero's class started around 9 a.m. Neither the prosecutor nor detective Lounsbury was able to tell AlterNet whether the room had been locked before class, or exactly what time Amero sat down at her desk.

At trial, it emerged that the school IT department offered no protection against obscene content or invasive software. The Kelly Middle School's firewall license had expired, leaving the whole system unguarded. To make matters worse, Amero was working on a very old Gateway PC running Windows 98, an extremely vulnerable setup.

"Anyone could send anything they wanted to any computer on the site," Horner said.

In the course of his investigation, Horner became convinced of Amero's innocence. After she was convicted, he sent a letter to her attorney offering his services pro bono for her upcoming appeal.

"This whole trial was so unfair," Horner said. "When Julie was convicted, I went home that night. I was eating dinner, and I started crying. I just cried my eyes out. This was a total travesty of justice."



What d'ya think? This sucks, right?

Yup, that looks like some bini stuff.

I too can't speak my lingo. But i don't feel the loss as keenly as gamine probably does. it's just one of those things that one never gets to do, besides, i never was one for the village scene.

Word is, My granny told my mum ot to bring us (the kids) to the village for fear of witchcraft. an entirely laughable reason, i admit, but works for me!

and no, i dont think i'll go 'extinct' even if my tribe fades into obscurity

Lolyda:
Do u guys need celtel nu settings?

Great! SOme gay asks dis question 10 days ago and can't even be ar*sed to reply peeps asking for the settings. Wastepipe!

Gamine:


Because smthing is not used widely dosnt mean it sucks,
Besides i have two friends that own Macs

Whuteva u say man,

Vista still Sucks

I have thousands of friends who use windows!!
Besides, MacOS is an overhyped OS anyway, and it's tied to extremely expensive hardware.

People are beavering away at getting macos to run on windows pcs. I'm going to be taking the plunge soon myself. can't wait for them to do that to leopard!

@Hugoboi
Didnt your mum teach you how to talk 2 a lady? Foul language don't cut it, son!


@Topic
Vista Rules!!!

@Christino
You can install Linux on your ps3 without chipping it. in fact, it's supported by sony, though they do not provide the actual linux installation, buit they provide tools allowing you to install certain flavours on linux on it.

GUys,
anyone have any info on Hyperia's WiMAX service in Port Harcourt? I'm really keen on findin gout more about this, cos i need broadband internet in my House ASAP!

@Neoteny

Wrong! Devil may cry 3 is nowhere near the best game to test pcsx2 on.
if you really want a playable game, try Final Fantasy X or X-2. people report FPS of over 30

i think it's the phone memory that's full, not the memory card. try and delete large files stored in the phone memory (especially bluetooth attachments like songs etc) or move them to the memory card. set ur SMS settings to receive messages in your memory card instead of ur fone memory. That should work, !

if it doesn't, format the fone, but i dont think it'll come to that!

nawww,
i wont be tempted by this kinda thing no more. I once tried to make toffees and i burnt my hand (still have the scar)
tried to make bread and it didnt rise.
tried to make shortbread, it sucked
tried to make rice pudding, i ended up boiling d rice 4 2 hours, cursing at the damn thing to get soft. ended up tasting like soggy rice soaked in milk. even burnt my mouth cos i was so eager to taste it.

Chipped Ps3? Not likely!

I'm selling my Ps3 to any interested buyer. It's been fully upgraded, running Yellow Dog Linux 5.0 with mplayer installed so you can not only watch DVDs but VCDs too! Also has Open Office.org 2.0, Mozilla firefox browser, Several linux games, SNES emulator and can play multiple video files unsupported in the normal Ps3 gameOS (Divx, .avi, mp4)

Price? Just 90K. For a $600 console that's a steal, considering i got it for 80K

Reason for sale?
I'm focusing on my xbox360 for now, will prolly buy a ps3 again when Metal Gear 4 comes out!

Interested buyers reply.

This is funny!!!!!

an 'Uninvited Guest' makes his entrance! All ye Arsenal fans, bow before the Red Devils!

I wonder how many of you guys would be so liberal if you had been robbed or scammed before.
Most of the victims of these 419 guys are retirees, old people, normal everyday people here. Yet these guys fleece them dry, destroying hopes and dreams just to get money they'd blow in the nearest night club.

419 kills! There was the old couple who got fleeced by some Nigerians (telling them they'd inherited some money). these guys sent in most of thier life savings and were duped! Winter came round, they couldnt afford their heating bills so the decided to manage without it for some time. they both froze to death.
there was the Mason in the UK who was duped of his life savings of about 60000 pounds. he hanged himself later. many many more stories like this abound, so many of these guys come to Nigeria to meet their 'business partners' only to be beaten or killed!
A softhearted person in the US is convinced to help an American stranded in Naija to cash some money orders, the guy goes to the bank and manages to cash the money and he sends it to Naija. 2 days later the guy is arrested and spends time cooling his heels in jail on suspicion of fraud. Meanwhile the naija guy shows off his new ride to his admiring pals.

these people have blood on their hands, only they just don't know it. Let's not use poverty as an excuse, what happened to plain old honesty? Why would someone come here on Nairaland to excuse the fact that someone steals, with the twisted logic that as long as its to pay his school fees, it's okay. It's Not!!

Sheesh!!

besides, considering the fact that the EFCC has a well documented case of widespread looting of Abia state funds, any sensible person will be right to question the source of some of his wealth. i mean, he had money before, but he's accumulated more from looting Abia state.

@Donzman

WTF is the matter with you? There have been many many posts by different people, just ONE person used the phrase 'Igbotic Ego'. Why the Devil do you keep harping on and on about this here?

stop trying to create tensions here, the mature thing would have been for you to ask the person who said the statement you found offensive to apologise or retract it. not all of us share such opinions, but you insist on reminding us of it every 3 posts or so.

if you're spoiling for a fight, go somewhere else.

guy
when it's time to apply, you'll know about it. SPDC advertises in dailies then.

i'd say the advert should come out Q4 2007

The threads bashing his command (or lack thereof) of the English language aren't in the majority. But I believe they have a point. i find myself in sympathy with Afam's point; if you know you'll struggle with the language, speak your own and go thru an interpreter!
Most of the comments here however affirming that most Nigerians (the ones not in his pockets) do not consider him fit to rule the country. This guy simply failed to impress in this interview from any point of view you might choose to look at it.

I did my Youth Service in Abia state and i was shocked how much noise the guy was making, and how little there was to show for it.

Hmm, i wonder if the famous refuse heaps of Aba can be seen on Google Earth (just like the great wall of China)

Broadbear:
Hi there I would like to know what r the procedures for me to play ps2 games on the pc, and what are the devices required?? issit only the ps2 controller??


& ya any pc requirements as well?? My com is running on a 2Ghz processor, 1 gb ram with ATI Mobility Radeon X700 graphics card, will the games run smoothly??

hey there
u dont need a ps2 controller to play, any normal pc controller should work as long as u configure it with the emulator.

your laptop specs are pretty good, not the greatest but it should be good enough to get u running some ps2 games. mayb enot at full speed though, but it'll try.

go to http://www.pcsx2.net and download the emulator. read through the forums there. any unanswered questions can come back to this forum.

The guy many posts above that was dissing Bollywood obviously hasn't watched an indian film in years. No one does the 'guy chases chick around tree while singing' thing again.

The problem with nollywood is nigerians who choke down the drivel instead of giving constructive criticism. any attempt to shame the actors and directors into doing something to make us proud is quelled by these guy who have become satisfied with mediocrity. hence we cast around for such lame excuses like "Hollywood started long before us". Must we re-invent the wheel? Why dont we start using telegrams and morse code in naija, after all, telecommunications started in the western world long before us!


i mean, dont u feel duped when u simultaneously have to rent parts 1-3 of a movie that just came out just to get the entire 'story'? Do u feel like you're getting value for your money?

did u get that 'diploma' from a university or (as i suspect) from a 'computer school' where u took a 3-4 weeks course in 'computer appreciation'?

post ur skills and i'll see what i can rustle up

Why would anyone want to run a vista transformation pack and take a hit on their RAM? Don't any of y'all game?

It's about time we all stopped believing this 'mac is good for video editing and 3d' bullcrap! In a recent interview with one movie magazine, an Industrial Light and Magic exec said that they do all their work on windows pcs.
Industrial Light and Magic, BTW, is the world biggest and most famous 3d and video editing company. They did all the work on all the Star Wars and Jurassic Park among many many other films.
I wont be surprised if there's no Mac to be found in Pixar!

there are ps3 consoles piled up on shelves in the US, the Wii on the other hand is almost impossible to find. nintendo even acknowledges that it'll be diffiult getting the problem resolved until April this year.

@dblock
and the nintendo wii didn't just come out? Didn't the ps3 launch before the Wii in japan?

Stop gabbling about the price! ya think sony didn't know when they put the price so high? There isn't gonna be a price cut for the Ps3 anytime soon, so u can bet ps3 will get owned by the Wii in 2007 too!

The DS is outselling the PSP in all territories! Better graphics does not a better game make, the DS beats the PSP in innovation, fun games that cater to all ages, and it far outstrips the PSP in battery life.

Yes, nintendo made some mistakes in the n64 and Gamecube, but they're getting over them.

It's osny that made the bigger mistake. Look at them bragging that Resistance: fall of man is a 25GB game. Gears of War fit in on a standard dual layer DVD, (less than 8.7GB) and yet it has better graphics and far better textures than Resistance.
crysis is coming out for the PC this year, and u can bet that it fits on a dual layer DVD, yet it'll own anything on PS3 and 360.


When Sony releases Killzone 2 it'll probably occupy like 30 GB, i'll eat my hat if its better graphically than Halo 3.

@bodun

yeah! i remember that episode too, !

MAMAJAMA:
they can take their $50 Million dollar gift and give it to IRAQ. its not like the gift is making a significant difference in Nigeria. I strongly think all USA is after is our OIL

Since when did $50 million not matter to Nigerians? Convert that to naira and see what that amounts to.

Since you prattle on about the USA being after our Oil, do you have any idea how many of our deepwater oil blocs have been sold to China? That's a far more terrifying prospect! National Geographic says lots more oil blocs in the lucrative deepwater will be sold to china. In fact, they categorically say that western oil companies will not be able to match the Chinese Govt in spending power, hence we'll be handing more and more to the chinese and the indians.

But hey, it's not as much fun hatin' on the Chinese, is it? Them with their 'excellent' track record of treating nigerian staff well

Anti-americanism is such a lucrative thing nowadays, legions of pseudo-intelligent geeks copiously quoting every single conspiracy theorist site or artice they can lay their hands on.

It's strange these guys say things like "where was the US when abacha was here" as if they wanted the US to invade us or something?

The poster has long been recognised as a malignant rabble-rouser.

I graduated from Uniben in 2003 and i really can't think or anybody in my class who got their 2.1s by paying for it or sleeping with a lecturer. My set churned out 5 1st class, 32 2.1s and about 80 2.2s. Some other unfortunates obtained 3rd class and pass degrees.
Most of these people got what they deserved. i've seen many brilliant people get 2.2s, most of them didnt take schoolwork seriously. and most of them accept it! if you've been having good grades, one or two lecturers scoring you low wont sink you, so please y'all should stop talking about victimisation.
measures exist to contest and combat genuine cases of victimisation. i admit it's a rocky path to follow, but if you didnt have the balls to fight it then, why prattle about it when it's too late?

at least 90% of those who got good grades got 'em the decent way, so only an idiot will come here trying to besmirch the industry of such diligent students.

Every fricking person here knew how the labour market was when he entered school, it isn't a new thing. We all knew that there was preferential treatment for those with 2.1s and 1st class. We all knew the industry out there uses our grades as benchmarks for empoyment considerations. So it smacks of serious foolishness to cast about for someone else but yourself to blame.

Many of my pals with 2.2s are doing masters now, or have finished. Why not try and apply yourself to self-improvement instead of trying to vilify employers who are only doing what you were warned/what you knew they'd do?

Here are the latest Japanese console hardware sales for the week of Feb 5 - 11, 2007:

NDS Lite - 201,177 [1,103,588] units
Wii - 78,550 [603,378] units
PSP - 32,175 [303,113] units
PlayStation 3 - 23,431 [178,734] units
PlayStation 2 - 16,033 [149,437] units
Xbox 360 - 4,811 [52,617] units
GBA SP - 980 [8,136] units
GB Micro - 884 [10,245] units
GameCube - 383 [3,459] units
NDS - 121 [561] units
GBA - 36 [328] units


as you can clearly see, Nintendo ownz all!!

all those people buying DS can't be wrong, can they?
I played Medal of Honor on a PSP and it really sucked, the PSP can't do FPS well. The DS on the other hand is perfect for FPS, with some people finding its unique controls as intuitive or more so than the PCs Mouse and keyboard.
Just an example.

Pray, tell me, if no artificial things are allowed to go there, how will humans trtansport themselves from earth to the new planet? last i checked, spacecraft didnt grow on trees, they're 100% articifial.
So how do we get there? Teleportation?

NYSC wouldnt have been so bad if the Government could have seen fit to send us engineers to engineering related jobs instead of leaving us to teach in village secondary schools. The painful thing was, after one year of teaching maths and physics, you'd have the same Government calling you a half-baked engineer!

anyway, NYSC was a funny experience for me. on the one hand, i got to see lots of people and travel to the east for the first time. On the negative side, i used to run a web design biz and i was reasonably successful at it. one year in a no-water no-light no gsm village changed it all. I had to bring my pc over to the village and bought a gen, that made me the target of hatred from my landlord who felt i was too pompous for a 'small boy'. That, and the fact that i was the only person in the compound of 10 that used toilet roll (instead of their favored plantain leaves) made them feel i was living large.

one nasty thing that happened, when i bought the gen, my next door neighbour compained that the noise was bothering him, he threatened to shut me down unless i powered his outside light. i had no choice but to comply. The first day i turned on the pc to watch a movie, all the neighbouring kids came crowding round my window. to entertain them, i put on a home video. that was my big mistake. they knocked and knocked until i let them in (i'm a sucker for kids) and then they started running over my foam witht heir bare, dirty feet, one ripped open my discman and as i was scolding him another one was chewing up my pack of cards. I drove the louts out!

i banned them from ever entering my room again, apparently thatmade thier parents even more pissed. One day my gen blew my monitor. I heard the woman next door say it served me right in Igbo. Beef!

The school was much worse. i came in there like a whirlwind trying to change things. I was horrified to hear that in the last WAEC only on egirl managed to get 6 Cs, and she was the only one out of 60 girls that passed maths. I took it upon myself to change things!
First day i got there, i launched into an impassioned speech about decency and hardwork and future career prospects and the need to move the school forward. Then i finally told them that i want an interactive class and that i wouldn't flog anybody etc. BIG MISTAKE! Once they learnt my natural aversion to beating girls and they saw i wasn't gonna flog them, it was all over. at that moment my speech cost me all hopes of enforcing discipline. Dunno why, it works in the movies
did the girls wanna learn? nope! in a class of about 50 girls, when im teaching you'll see 12 breaking melon into their berets, 5 sleeping, 12 giggling and passing love notes from their latest village beaus, 1 girl sweeping the class, 5 gisting with other girls thru the window. any girl i send out will come leaping thru the window next time my back is turned. It was either teach or spend the whole time enforcing discipline.
at least i was inspired to teach until i marked first term exams and half the class got 0/80. This in spite of the fact that i even solved exam-like questions in class 2 days to the exam, and i told them the same thing'll come out. they just couldn't be arsed to read.
What didnt i try? to teach computer education to Jss3 i used my own computer and my own generator. they refused to listen, just because i wouldnt cane them. Jss3 maths i asked them to buy a mathematical set so they could use for trig drawing. they refused. SS2 girls didn't know how tp use a four-figure table. I asked them to buy tables, most didnt. i asked them to photocopy the tables at the back of New General mathematics. compliance rate was like 5%. I had to give up. How the heck do you pass maths when u can't read a four figure table?
How the hell did i end up teachin pythagoras' theorem for 3 weeks, something i learnt in 30 minutes, and then 90% of them failed it in exam? WTF is hard about a² = b² + c² ?

The final killer for me? My principal forced me to solve WAEC maths and physics for SS3, blackmailing me with the threat of telling my ZI about my trips to write job tests and interviews. this, after i'd been the most strident critic of exam malpractice. After that blow, i lost all enthusiasm for teaching.
The irony of it all, by me solving the maths for them, i finally made a difference in the WAEC maths result, just not in the way i hoped for


Notable NYSC Quotes:

"Corpers don't worry! Ohafia is not like Isiala Ngwa where your camp was, where they eat people. here in Ohafia, highest during estival they may cut off your head and dance with it, but they do not eat people here"

--Ohafia LGA chairman in his welcome speech to us.

"How can corpers come all the way from their states and carry all our money?"

-- Umuahia councillors, removing names of Corpers from the Polio immunisation supervisor rosters and substituting them with their own (semi-literate) people, despite the fact that corpers dominated in the qualification tests.

"You wan make i slap that ya face join wall?"

-- Tout threatening me in Ohafia park for daring to take front seat.

"I go take slap block one of ya ear"

-- Okada man threatening me with severe soft-tissue damage for daring to protest his high fares.

"Nna, Fanta and mirinda, all na the same N50. the two of them yellow"

-- Market woman happily chose to inform me that mirinda attracted the same price as fanta after i'd drank the stuff.


"Use this one to buy something for yaself"

--Vice-Principal of the school casting down N500 on the table after i'd been forced to solve the WAEC. I'd never felt so insulted in my life.

"I'm going to deal seriously with igbo girls!"

-- fellow corper confiding to me his plans to avenge his posting my sowing wild oats relentlessly.

"BooHoo! eeeeeeh!"

-- me weeping profusely after being teargassed by police on my birthday, february 2nd 2005 in Aba while trapped at the back of a vehicle.