Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 3,148,683 members, 7,801,966 topics. Date: Friday, 19 April 2024 at 07:08 AM

TheUbermensch's Posts

Nairaland Forum / TheUbermensch's Profile / TheUbermensch's Posts

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) (of 27 pages)

Business / Re: Get A Professional Website For Your Business At A Discount - (Closed) by TheUbermensch: 10:06am On Oct 01, 2023
nocodechief:
Are you ready to take your business to the next level? We're here to transform your digital presence and help you stand out from the competition. We're offering our top-notch website creation service to only 7 lucky businesses, and here's why you should jump on this opportunity:

🚀 Responsive Design: Your website will look stunning and work seamlessly on all devices. Whether your customers are browsing on a desktop, tablet, or smartphone, you'll make a great impression.

⏱️ Fast Turnaround Time: We understand that time is money. Our dedicated team will work efficiently to deliver your brand-new website quickly, so you can start reaping the benefits sooner.

✍️ Professional Copywriting: Words matter. We'll craft compelling, SEO-optimized content that not only captures your brand's essence but also attracts search engine traffic, boosting your online visibility.

🔍 Optimization: We don't just build websites; we fine-tune them for performance. Expect fast loading times and smooth navigation, ensuring your visitors have a top-tier user experience.

Now's the time to invest in a website that truly represents your business and converts visitors into loyal customers. With only 7 slots available, this offer won't last long.

Ready to upgrade your online presence? Contact us today to secure your spot and let us craft a website that's as unique as your business. Don't miss out on this exclusive opportunity to shine online! 🌟🌐

Hello I sent you a mail request already
Politics / Re: Buhari Signing Of PIB: Petrol May Sell For N300, FG To Decide On Subsidy Today by TheUbermensch: 3:34am On Aug 29, 2021
amc:


The average Nigerian doesn’t own a car, so we have been subsidising the rich at the expense of the poor who are denied well needed investment in things like education, healthcare and infrastructure.

It will be hard in the short term but the populace would start to see the many benefits in the medium to long term. We are wasting too much scare resources for on this subsidy and there is too much corruption involved with smuggling of our PMS to neighbouring countries where PMS is sold at higher prices.

You don’t buy fuel for your gen? The businesses you use don’t buy fuel? The bus you use to commute doesn’t use fuel? What do you think would happen? You don’t think there would be a ripple effect? Imagine your transport fare doubling or tripling without an increase in your salary. Prices of foodstuff would increase as transporters would charge more.
Don’t act like only the rich would suffer subsidy removal. Everybody go feel am, including you.
Phones / Re: Smartwatch Needed by TheUbermensch: 2:35am On Jun 29, 2021
Lexusgs430:
Same watch, different straps......

Is it iOS compatible?
Phones / Smartwatch Needed by TheUbermensch: 1:27am On Jun 27, 2021
Does anyone sell original smart watches here? I need something with a name, please. Not those iWatch knockoffs. A real product. Friendly price also.

1 Like

Career / Re: Work From Home by TheUbermensch: 12:42pm On Apr 14, 2021
Idiot stop this your scam please.
Jobs/Vacancies / Re: Do You Need A Copywriter Or Web Writer? by TheUbermensch: 11:19am On Apr 05, 2021
Contact me this new week for all your writing jobs.

I deliver everything, from landing pages to web copies. I also write content for websites and blogs that are well optimized for search engines.

Give me a call or send a WhatsApp text to 07016943938.

Have a good week.
Jobs/Vacancies / Re: Do You Need A Copywriter Or Web Writer? by TheUbermensch: 11:12pm On Mar 28, 2021
Contact me this new week for all your writing jobs.

I deliver everything, from landing pages to web copies. I also write content for websites and blogs that are well optimized for search engines.

Give me a call or send a WhatsApp text to 07016943938.

Have a good week.
Jobs/Vacancies / Re: Do You Need A Copywriter Or Web Writer? by TheUbermensch: 7:58am On Mar 26, 2021
Please help me.

Help me.

Bring your writing tasks here and I would get it done for you with ease. From website articles to newspaper publications.

Drop a mail or leave your number here.
Jobs/Vacancies / Do You Need A Copywriter Or Web Writer? by TheUbermensch: 11:10am On Mar 25, 2021
Good day, beautiful people.

I need a writing gig. Any kind at all. I write web articles as well as ebooks and all that.

I can get all your writing needs done and quickly too. Whether you need content for your website (about us, mission statement, etc) or any other thing at all.

Give me a call or message me on WhatsApp on 07016943938.
Literature / Re: The Radio Waves Killer. by TheUbermensch: 10:00pm On Jun 16, 2019
Evaysays:
Chapter Three
Semilore Kilaso was what you'll refer to as unpredictable.
A professor at the University of Lagos, Psychology department. At first glance she looked like a normal house wife as her short stature often misled people, especially her students some of which often wondered why she was teaching.
Oh..did I forget to mention that Dr. S as nicked by her students was not a random professor, she even had her own private practice that stretched beyond the borders of Nigeria into North America.
Dr. S was an expert in mental disorders like Dissociative Identity Disorder, Schizophrenia,etc.
Today was like any day Dr. S was dressed conservatively but still managed to pass as sexy because of her rounded hips, fairly large bust and her usual cat- shaped glasses that was usually placed on the tips of her nose.
She was talking about Bipolar disorder,
"....most times the individual hardly knows they are in the manic stage sometimes they could be talking to you feeling extremely happy and the next (snapping her fingers to emphasize her point) they are extremely irritable or even depressed. During this phase the individual is usually hyperactive as the need for sleep is reduced. And in some cases there's the risk of suicide or self harm which takes us to Borderline personality disorder this is a heighted stage of bipolar disorder more of dissociative disorder also called multiple personality disorder. Here the mind of the person is extremey fragile which is why females are more likely to be diagnosed more than males, it's a thing of the mind, the emotional state I once treated a boy that had been abused sexually for years by his own mother from his early childhood to his teenage years. The boy had been cutting away the skin of his male organ (a chorus of gasps were heard in the room)....there was practically almost nothing left on him when i found him but today, today he's happily married. ( the class began to clap, but Dr. S held up her hands and as though frozen in space the students stopped clapping hands midair , the unmistakeable buzz of Dr.S phone was heard. Who could be calling her everyone thought, she was a no nonsense lecturer and her students knew better to cross her by turning on their phones in her class so well it was a surprise to find her own phone ringing and was even more surprising when she picked it up to check the caller ID. Semilore dreaded answering the call,
NBI: Nigerian Bureau of Investigation.
Sorry, i have to take this, her students who had been suspended in mid air finally got back into motion.
Hello, semilore began
We need your help Doctor, there has been a murder.

******* ******* ****** ******

As usual Pelumi sat in her cluttered room typing away on her laptop it was a miracle how the laptop still existed. She'd been teased by her friends incessantly for its bulkiness but what could she do, it was hers and nobody else well literally her dads but she used it more than he did.
" Something just like this" was playing from a small red radio.
The distinct notification sound alerted me I had a new message in my gmail account(my face broke into a smile)
From Sizzlefm@gmail.com
Congratulations Ms. Badamassi, you've been recruited for the post of co anchor in our radio station. You are to come down to our office for debriefing on or before the 10th of March, 2017.
As though the radio read my mind 24k magic by Bruno Mars started playing I yelled and started dancing. It was sure a miracle how I managed to avoid the clutter swinging and swaying to the beat as i laughed loudly well I was not skinny for nothing.

I could laugh freely then, I had no troubles, I had no stalkers, I was just a new employee at a radio station.
******


Dr.S POV
This was the worst- scratch that most gruesome murder case I've ever been called to look at it took the grace of God and years of practice for me to not puke I was not the only one feeling the same way. Several NBIs were too, I did not go through medical school for nothing. Yes I studied psychology at Harvard and graduated the valedictorian of my set and I had my fair share of dead bodies or rather walking dead bodies.
Who was she? I asked
Det. Bonojo looked at me like was I serious?
When he saw i was not joking he answered, Evay was her stage name, her real name is Omolola Omikunle. You really don't know her he asked again incredulously.
I answered him with a blank stare.
You're weird he said.
I've been called worse I replied. So can I do my job now?
By all means, he gave a poor attempt at being courteous. (clapping he shouted , everyone out the Doctor wants to work, slowly they began filing out of the room till it was only Detective Bonojo and I left.)
I was about to touch the surface of her dressing table when Det.Bonojo grabbed my hand, I looked down at it like it was something foreign don't blame me i hated people touching me, I was not a psychiatrist for nothing I also had my own demons and one of them was Haphephobia; the fear of being touched. I could feel my palms getting sweaty and I fought the urge to rub the back of my neck.
I immediately snatched my hands back from him instead of moving away he stretched a pair of latex gloves to me.
We don't want your prints everywhere now do we?
Detective Bonojo said amused at my antics.
Snapping the gloves on was Dr. S reply to him.
The room was squeaky clean one wouldn't have known it was a murder scene save for the nude corpse tied to her dressing chair, the basket filled with origami flowers that lay intact on the bed, the radio near the bed and the absence of blood. Like the killer knew we were on to him so he made to sure to do his dirty job in the bathroom, a quick glance in showed me it was squeaky clean again. I wrote into my notepad:
Obsessive Compulsive disorder(OCD)
Moving close to the sightless body of Evay i examined her carefully noting the distict hole in the middle of her throat where her voicebox had once been. It looked frenzied unlike the neat almost surgically precise tear that ran from her under eye lid to either sides of her mouth. the looked like tear lines except they were bloodless and the well the eye balls had been pulled out of their sockets and I saw no sight of them.
Quirking my brow to Det.Touchy (i know i'm bad with nicknames but the nerve of him touching me and grinning).
He took them with him he said nonchalantly.
When i did not show any sign of understanding. He said; Seriously where have you been living?
Under a rock?
He said pointing to the deceased. She been threatened by a stalker on air a few months ago and he commented on her eyes how she looked at him hotly whenever she was live on Facebook. When i still did not understand he sighed heavily and took the fallen radio and played it for me.
Ohh.. can I get that later? i asked
Sure, he waved me back to work.
She died in agony her nerves sticking out against her forehead and the bloodless bruise on her head probably slapped across her forehead that was turning black, the burst lip, I knew she did not go down easy.
Moving coser to the corpse I noticed her legs had been tied such a way well her womanly parts were open to all who had eyes to see, I imagined the killer having his own private fun. I had no idea if it was before or post mortem so i asked the detective again.
Did she have a rape kit test done?
I have no idea, i'm a detective not a forescics scientist.
(I groaned inwardly and calmed myself you can do this its just like swiping a table)
I walked towards one of the open bags left by one of the forensics tem took a cotton swab and attached it to a scapel and well you all know what I had to do.
When I got it I noticed the dampness of the cotton but i did not say anything dumping it into a plastic bag and sealed it, I said we'll get this tested. I grabbed a sheet and covered her genital.
Glancing at the detective he had a look that said she's dead duuuh.
Respect the dead i muttered.

I walked around her corpse to her back and crouched noticing the smart move the stalker did he wiped all evidence of him being there but he forgot one tiny part.
Her nails, women loved aesthetic nails and Evay had one painted nude almost claw like she must've used it to scratch him or something taking out my file I dug out the small space where the fake nail was attached to the real nail and lucky me.....
A piece of ripped skin was wedged between them dropping it it a separate plastic bag i concealed it from view.
Standing up from my crouched position I asked the detective who was the first person to see her like this?
Her boyfriend. he said.
i want to have a chat with him. I said.
(motioning i follow him, we went down the stairs into a nicely furnished living room where he was seated looking lost and staring into blank space)
Hello I began
he looked up and stared at me as if he was not really seeing me.
he must've really loved her i thought to myself.
Hello, he managed to croak out
Can I ask you some questions? I asked again seating across him.
I've said everything I know to the police...he began.
I nodded, I know I'm Dr. Semilore Kilaso a psychologist. I sometimes help the NBI understand why things like this happen I said automatically answering his question.
he nodded, still looking at me warily.
I began so tell me about her, her habits, anything.
He had a ghost smile on his face as if remembering goodtimes. she was a good girl, she was mine(he ran his fingers through his hair) i don't understand why?
Why her?
I moved closer to him and held his palm in my hands they physical contact sometimes helped alleviate the pain. I pushed my own fears behind since it was working so I began again.
You must've really loved her.
Oh I did very much but she was just so stubborn she had really odd habits like binge eating at 3:00am on eba and other heavy meals,always surprising me how she still manage to sleep like a baby even after that(I laughed at that).
She stayed up really late too, it's like the darkness was a part of her she hardly ever opened her curtains and always had her windows closed.
What did you just say? I asked .
Austin began again looking confused, I said she always closed her window she hated being cold always padded around the house dressed in big clothes.
Detective Bonojo I roared startling the deceased boyfriend.
How did you think the killer got into the house I asked?
The door, he said after drugging him(pointing at Mr Bernard).
Oh my God I said running up the stairs. Confirming my fear;
The window was open.

Someone get the forensics team in here!

**********************************
Follow me on Instagram and Facebook @Evaysays
Tumblr @ Tucklishbutts234.
#Evaysays

Hey. This is Leon.

I don't know when you may see this. But just know that I'm so sorry for everything that happened.
Politics / Re: APC UK Appeals To Buhari NOT To Attend The Presidential Debate by TheUbermensch: 10:43am On Dec 15, 2018
Mynd44:
Smh.

Fake news

You can verify it yourself and post for us the real news.

It's sickening how you'd take sides with a party because of peanuts. Peanuts that highschool kids in developed countries get on a weekly. And you're a university graduate.

Shame on you.

4 Likes 2 Shares

Celebrities / Re: Photos Of The Kupe Boy, Jimseuh That Juliet Ibrahim Is Giving The 'Green Light' by TheUbermensch: 11:42pm On Dec 11, 2018
lilmax:
this is somebody rode modem

most beautiful women are worthless in the world today.

just for knacks and thrown in the trash where she belongs

even after its done she doesn't learn her lesson, she'd be passed to the next presser

no wonder she can't keep a stable relationship, you were born to hoe


Na real "rode modern". lmao

4 Likes

Education / Re: David Imoh Umoette Flies SQUADRON FLIGHT 331 Of American Air Force. by TheUbermensch: 8:54pm On Dec 11, 2018
I find it disgusting that Nigerians in Nigeria love claiming people who are in diaspora, especially those born there. It's a stupid thing which we should stop.
Education / Re: University Of Lagos (UNILAG) In Pictures by TheUbermensch: 7:52pm On Dec 11, 2018
darfay:



Wetin this ebsu pikin dey talk?

Check am well, the title of the thread is Unilag not ebsu

Funny how you're taking the matter so personal.

Someone can't offer a different opinion. Treating Unilag as if it's your father's personal business.

9 Likes 2 Shares

Politics / Re: Atiku: Why I did not attend Peace Accord Signing by TheUbermensch: 7:11pm On Dec 11, 2018
Funny.

Why wasn't Atiku invited?

I smell a conspiracy.

15 Likes

Celebrities / Re: Adekunle Gold Kisses Simi (Photos) by TheUbermensch: 5:10pm On Dec 11, 2018
My only issue is with Simi's hair. Like anal beads.
Phones / Re: Get Airtel 750MB For N500 NOW On Www.mighty.ng by TheUbermensch: 4:47pm On Dec 11, 2018
MightyDataNG:
Yes!!! Get 750MB for N500, valid for 14 days. Subscribe NOW on www.mighty.ng or call/whatsapp us on 07033044456. #DoMore

Rubbish.

What people can do by themselves by dialing *141#. Why do bloggers like displaying an outstanding level of stupidity all for traffic? Smfh.

1 Like

Politics / Re: John Okafor Meets Atiku And Saraki (Photos) by TheUbermensch: 8:35pm On Dec 10, 2018
deomelo:
[s][/s]



You can rant and bring up irrelevant rubbish and silly excuses to defend your corrupt people with, but the APC did not ask Atiku to take bribe from siemens, face the US government and the FBI.


Funny how many of you go the extra mile to defend crooks when in fact their crimes should be your main concern.

You are just proving to me that you are open to bribe taking and corruption if given the opportunity.

Like a certain governor who's also open to bribe, but was praised by Mr Integrity in Paris. Lol.

The idiocy of your sorts is quite nauseating.

Pretty sure your mom would have weeped has she miscarried you, but here you are, disgracing your linage.
Politics / Re: John Okafor Meets Atiku And Saraki (Photos) by TheUbermensch: 7:40pm On Dec 10, 2018
deomelo:



[s][/s]




Nna ipob, this has nothing to do with APC and the report didn't come from APC, this is between the United State Senate, the US govenment and AthiefKUlooter.

I know Igbos are the main defenders of crooked and corrupt people, but at least learn how to read and comprehend simple English words.


It's stupid to assume that any opposition to this redundant government is a member of the IPOB group. Most of us aren't even Easterners.

Again, why wasn't this matter pertinent all thru out 2014/2015 when PMB was contesting? Why didn't APC, and Buhari, the very embodiment of "integrity", refuse to collect money and other donations from him since he was so neck deep in corruption? Smh.

I don't like APC's style of politics. It's childish. Digging up dirt on ex party members is so stupid. If every ex APC member is corrupt, then APC is corrupt.

1 Like 1 Share

Politics / Re: John Okafor Meets Atiku And Saraki (Photos) by TheUbermensch: 7:22pm On Dec 10, 2018
deomelo:

www.nairaland.com/attachments/8247742_aa_png321532365639f31b3b9f8ea8be0c6be2







1. The US Congress investigated Atiku and they conclusively determined with facts and bank documents that Atiku took bribe from Siemens and deposited that funds into his wife's bank account. Siemens plead guilty and paid fines and restitution to the US government.


Another pending case against Atiku in the US.


This particular case is the main reason why Atiku is on the US Visa ban list, this is the main reason why he's subject to FBI arrest on sight.


Siemens, his accomplice has confessed and so Atiku cannot escape this allegation especially with bank records showing how he deposited the bribe money. They have the bank records, account numbers and so on.







Stale.

Why weren't these matters of so much importance when Atiku was donating to APC and Buhari? Lol.

The hypocrisy of APC is outstanding, but it's superseded by the inanity of its supporters.

18 Likes 6 Shares

Politics / Re: John Okafor Meets Atiku And Saraki (Photos) by TheUbermensch: 7:19pm On Dec 10, 2018
Pretty sure Atiku has no idea who the idiot on green t-shirt is.

3 Likes

Education / Re: Madonna University Bans Tablets by TheUbermensch: 7:05pm On Dec 10, 2018
Lol.
Everywhere in Nigeria there's some form of tyranny or the other. Smh.

8 Likes

Religion / Re: Counsellor Lutterodt: "Man Who Fails To Give His Woman Orgasm Will Go To Hell" by TheUbermensch: 5:41pm On Dec 10, 2018
Stupid things like this get to Nairaland fp.
Despicable.
Celebrities / Re: Comedian Woli Arole Poses With His Mother In New Photo by TheUbermensch: 4:57pm On Dec 10, 2018
The guy is not worthy to be called a comedian.
This post is not worthy of FP.

1 Like

Religion / Re: David Ibiyeomie Welcomes Bishop Oyedepo As He Dedicates CIA by TheUbermensch: 10:20am On Sep 14, 2018
dollytino4real:
see person

As far as I'm concerned all men are equal.

Why should I make another man my spiritual father when Jesus expressly declares himself as such in the Bible? Smh. Do I even have proof that these men parading themselves as Pastors even have any anointing? So why risk it?

It's Jesus or nothing. Anyone who holds a dissenting view is nothing but intellectually redundant.

1 Like

Religion / Re: David Ibiyeomie Welcomes Bishop Oyedepo As He Dedicates CIA by TheUbermensch: 10:05am On Sep 14, 2018
Richdad50:
Church contributes to the development of a country
Mosque contributes to Poverty

These mosques are more pietous. Carrying out works of charity. Check how during Ramadan the rich give to the poor.

When last did a member of your church feed anybody? Smh.

Christianity in Nigeria is nothing more than business in the hands of a few who were able to estimate the level of gullibility of the people and invest in it. But I daresay they underestimated it.
Religion / Re: David Ibiyeomie Welcomes Bishop Oyedepo As He Dedicates CIA by TheUbermensch: 10:03am On Sep 14, 2018
Chascop:


Hippocrate .
Goan open your own church if you think it's easy to gather church money.

Anyone who have served under Bishop Oyedepo is doing wonderfully well in ministry.
Pastor Paul Enenche and Pastor David Ibiyeomie

I don't see the big deal.

If 100 people give me an average of N100 each every Sunday and the figure increases please how's that extraordinary?
Religion / Re: David Ibiyeomie Welcomes Bishop Oyedepo As He Dedicates CIA by TheUbermensch: 10:01am On Sep 14, 2018
HigherEd:
Oyedepo - Enenche - Ibeoymie
Those three individuals are handling some very unusual amount of money in their ministeries.
The church has done well on the education front despite some reservations about fees in some quarters. But it's time for the church esp Pentecostals to invest in world class hospitals, orphanages, rehabs and well funded IDP camps for christians and non christians in the north east...

Apart from doing it because of the love of Christ we should also do it less the call for taxes would increase as many more notice and envy these ministeries. I would prefer churches invest in these charitable causes than pour money into the pocket of the govt which would end up fuelling an already overlooted treasury...

On another front it is exciting to see that the freeze led attacks is having zero effect grin

More photos

You know that if these churches invest in Hospitals and the rest it'd just be for the extremely rich. The looters of the society. It is then that you and Statsocial would begin to tell us how "health is expensive" as if Catholic hospitals that provide very cheap healthcare get their money from the moon.

If these churches know they can't provide affordable social services they should rest.
Religion / Re: David Ibiyeomie Welcomes Bishop Oyedepo As He Dedicates CIA by TheUbermensch: 9:55am On Sep 14, 2018
dollytino4real:
iron sharpenth iron, great men of God. if u don't have a spiritual father u are a spiritual bastard

Jesus Christ is my spiritual father.

I refuse to see any mortal man as my spiritual father. Go kill yourself.
Romance / Re: Lady Prepares Stew With N300, Advises Men Not To Marry Women Who Can't Cook Like by TheUbermensch: 9:42am On Sep 14, 2018
miracood:
ANY MAN THAT foolishly marry her got himself to blame... after mariage she will use notin less than 2k for common stew


SHE IS JUST LOOKING FOR CHEAP PUBLICLY...



Publicity*
Politics / Re: Buhari Appoints Yusuf Magaji Bichi As New SSS Director-general by TheUbermensch: 11:46pm On Sep 13, 2018
GoTV:
Even though I'm a born again Christian, i think seyeifa is a wrong replacement for Daura because he's a southern Christian who would be influenced by our myriads of fake pastors and GO's. A Christan who is submissive to fake pastors should never lead a Secret police. Muslims keeps secrets than we Christians so Buhari did not goof on this patriotic appointment sad


I can like your comments ehn. They are always bereft of reasonableness that they are so funny.

Lol. My prayer is you don't bear kids so you don't pass this your stupidity to the next generation. Let it end with you.

2 Likes

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) (of 27 pages)

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 80
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.