₦airaland Forum

edwife:
Pastor Chris and controversy..

I thought being a preacher is about spreading the gospel all over the world.Why must he restricts anyone from doing exactly what the Bible command christians to do.


All these churches,one day one day

You can't make this kind of statement without being sure.The story was from a blog..................anyone can write anything.

adorablepepple:
Ur tatafo no be here... na unlimited

Very black pot saying, hey look at that black kettle.smh

Is there any official document/video backing this up?

Rumours and controversy sells.

deskossy:
Everybody hates d igbos...yet they are the most successful tribe in naija

That Oba's name is Everybody.Tell me something.

A man beating his wife,on top say she get belle?
Anyway,what led to the beating and is it the first time?
I'm sure the woman by now knows the kind of man she married and she has to make her choice to stay with him and continue to 'enjoy' the beating or to do something about it.

What's up with this nonsense cutting of clothes?

The doctor already told you,so why are you still worried?You wan score another one sharp sharp?
Delay in seeing the period after childbirth is common especially if the mother is breas.tfeeding.It could take up to a year in some.
Yes,pregnancy is possible without seeing your period because she can still ovulate and that is why it is advised that a nursing mother should also be on a family planning method instead of assuming that she can't be pregnant because she is nursing.

pak:
Care to explain the emboldened better ?

Sex for men is generally more of a physical thing than an emotional thing.However,for women,who they choose to sleep with goes beyond just a physical thing.That is why it's a bigger deal to women how they feel about the guy intimate-wise.

pak:
Sex indeed is a BIG thing in marriage!I have since found out it even applies more to women than men.

I won't argue with you on this. That was my expectations initially, I raised some points, if anybody was not comfortable with it, Simple, refute them - there were no personal angles to my posts, just opinions.
Am not a professional marriage counselor but I think most sexual issues once they are not physiological can be worked on. Infact listening to most couples, you realize that the so called lack of sexual interest as its root in some other issues not the sex in itself.


Why do you see women saying the guy is nice,has good character etc but I only like him as a friend.I'm not attracted to him.

I attribute that to foolishness and youthful exuberance. like seriously bro !
Have you ever heard of a single girl above 30 saying she only likes a guy as a friend (unless of course, he is dirt poor).
Think of it, have you ever heard of the girlfriend of a serial cheat say that ??
It's all a trick of the mind, this is what every player since Adam has realised and young women should be warned against.

Any guy who you are comfortable around, being friends with, understands you, you get along well, is responsible - please don't dull, they hardly ever come around.

One of the reason why we are having more and more of this friend zone concept has to do with the media and the swag mentality. We are being bombarded more and more by unrealistic imagery such that real people no longer fit into the fantasies we've been sold.

One of the major laws of attraction is emotional investment. The one who invests more, loves more.
The average nice guy naturally invest more in any relationship and the immature emotionally driven girl finds it hard to find the attraction because she has invested less or nothing at all.
Whereas, the bad guy fuecks (pardon my language) the girl and does not even bother calling her the next day, the foolish girl is emotionally wound up , feels used and can't wait to get any form of attention from the player. She eventually confuses that desperation for love for the guy - trust me, it works every bloody time.

So the advice, i will always give young men and women alike, put your emotions aside for a while and ask yourself, is this the kind of father/mother I will want for my kids. if this person treats me the way he/she treats other people will I still be with him- cos he will end up treating you that way.
I believe though I don't have empirical evidence that most marriages that have been damaged beyond repair are largely caused by emotion beclouding reason and desperation

I uderstand all you are saying here.This thread however has dealt with all aspects of it.The average lady is emotionally driven in making relationship choices and that in itself is what this thread addresses.Making choices that are not emotionally driven but but has deep roots in the more enduring factors earlier enumerated.
If a lady meets a guy who is caring,honest,hardworking,godfearing etc who is also physically(sexually) attractive and another guy who has the same virtues but is not sexually appealing to her,she definitely will choose the guy sexually appealing.
We are not downplaying the more enduring virtues here,we are just saying physical attraction also plays a deep role.

pak:
I hate to be the spoilsport on this thread but I like clarifying issues.
I don't know Babyosisi neither do I hate her, for all you care, she might be a wonderful intelligent person in real life.
My counter-post was not directed at her person or this thread or all her other posts on nairaland.

It was an objective issue based rebuttal and the background was that a young lady was confused about if the guy she is dating is 'the one' - if ever there is anything like that anyway - and she gave us a little insight into the relationship, which for me was neither here nor there.

At the end of the day, we got what was supposed to be an advice which for me was - I repeat - FUNDAMENTALLY flawed.

You said you are not compatible sexually,can you live with that all your life? - what is sexual compatibility Trust me, I have had sex with God knows how many women and I can assure you it's all in the mind. The two best partners I have had sex wise were not my specs physically - they seemed to sense my lack of interest and always put in 200%. Apart from physiological issues like weak erection, frigidity and the likes, sex is a function of what the partners put in. Your compatibility character wise is everything. That's why 'the friend zone' movement has actually done more damage to young ladies than the guys being 'friendzoned'.

Bad kisser,can you manage that? - first time in my blessed little life that am hearing kissing become a consideration whatsoever in choosing a partner.

You see I actually do not need to read her previous posts or subsequent ones to know that this particular advice was wrong and air my views.

The fact that she was wrong here does not make it impossible for her to be right later on or does not in anyway make her a bad person.

What I would rather have expected was objective criticism to the points I made or she made because quite frankly, this is not an attack on her person

I understand where you are coming from.Like I said earlier,you can't really pick this as flawed without following the thread.Each advise here is on a case-by-case basis.
The sexual/intimacy advise there may just have been what was the issue at that time.
Sex indeed is a BIG thing in marriage!I have since found out it even applies more to women than men.
Why do you see women saying the guy is nice,has good character etc but I only like him as a friend.I'm not attracted to him.
Integrity,friendship,character,honesty,compassion etc are invaluable in choosing a partner.However,when you deal with that,physical attraction is also so important.

Xone3:
I have also been accused of not being caring. please based on this, how can one be caring? cos I as a person don't. I have tried but don't no how

It starts with being unselfish.Learning to think beyond yourself-your needs,wants,desires and comforts.
I'm a bible student so I'll site the example of the good samaritan(read or re-read the story).It's about having empathy,seeing someone in a difficult situation and taking it upon yourself to do something to improve that person's situation.
Another key thing are the words of Jesus.He said,'do unto others as you would have them do unto you'.You consider your actions and ask if you would like to be treated the way you just treated this person or intend to do.
Other ways is to try and remember dates,e.g.birthdays and you can call or text or get some gifts to give.Also,start paying attention to people's moods or countenance.You can always ask,'Is there a problem' or how do you do?Also offer to do favours for people or help them with errands.You will start to build your caring nature this way.

pak:
I didn't read it, I just read the first page and got ticked off.......

I'll appreciate if you can show me or at least explain how it relates to my post

@pak,
I'll like to start by saying the bolded above just shows how wrong it is to come to the conclusion you have arrived at.You read the first page and you immediately arrived at the conclusion that passion and sexual chemistry is all she advises young girls to take most importantly?A thread of 90pages and still counting......
There are people on this thread who read ALL the pages before they commented.Why don't you go through all the pages before arriving at this conclusion?It may take a few days but please do.
In the course of reading,you will find some deep things which may be towards the end,or in the middle that sums up everything you need to know.
How do you think someone who thinks passion and sexual chemistry will write this below;

babyosisi:
It's up to us females to define the relationship
We shouldn't jump in bed with Tom dick and Harry expecting marriage to come out of it
That's where many miss it
If I show him what I can do in bed,I will keep him
Says who?
Do you know what the other person can do ?
There is always someone with a better rounded boobs out there and cuter face
You can't keep an intelligent man with bedmatics.
Man wey don chop over 25 girls and you expect him to be thrilled with your bedmatics
He has seen better performances
If he said baby you're the best,he has said it perhaps 10 times that week alone to other people.
Girls don't know men gossip like crazy
Just being on nairaland tells you men can carry vicious gossips,make up stories and circulate it
So when you also sleep with one he will tell his friends and also urge the friends to go and try their luck
I grew up amongst boys so I know these things.
And some girls wonder why suitors are not coming,their stories and their abortions have been widely circulated.
Some may need to change city to get a chance

If you take the time to read through the thread like I said,you will see where she said she did some things that,looking back now,she would have done it differently and she does not recommend that for young ladies going into marriage or young brides.

One thing I do sometimes is if I see a comment by someone,before I respond to it,I go to the person's profile and read the person's comments made over a while.I do that to have an idea of the person's personality,thoughts etc before concluding.I'll recommend that too.

cococandy:
My thirteen year old cousin is already getting considerations from Duke. He's only required to keep the same record he has in junior high through senior high.

Children of today.
I don't know where they are getting all the smartness from.

@bolded,'yesterday' some people made this statement about the time you were his age.lol
People have always been smart in every generation.It just gets better with technology.

Yes,run away with him.



The kind regret wey you go take come back,nobody go tell u.Love wantintin.

If he doesn't call,how about visits?Do you get to see often.
Some guys don't like to make calls but they make up with it with visits.

If he does neither and like you say,you are tired,then.......quit.

If you can talk to your dad,then confront but be wise with the choice of your words.Be very sure that he is having an affair and present the proof to him.If you can't do that,then confide in a respected elder or pastor and have him talk with your dad.
Leave your mum out of this for now.

The lady must be confused.How do you say someone is sleeping with you and yet you are not aware?

I would have answered your questions but I see you are not seeking for knowledge but acting like the pharisees and saducees in the bible who tried to ridicule Jesus in the bible.
Like them,you keep the outside of the plate clean but the inside is dirty.You make your bodies like beautifully painted sepulchres but the inside is full of dead men's bones.

It's Easter.Jesus is alive.We will keep celebrating His victory that He delivered to us.

Anyone don't like it can hit his head on a rock.

MarvellousGod:
Yeah, Thanks...
Let's hope so

Congrats in advance.God bless your home.

^^^Your dad is not in the country and that's more the reason why your mum really should protect you.She wouldn't want your dad to see she can't handle the home front.
I believe you are still a student.Your priorities now should be your studies.You can always make friends with people in school and do all your chatting there.
It won't be long and you will have all the independence you want.For now,just bear with your mum.

*Addendum:not to ridicule you but your english is the reason why your studies is what is important now.

Evina:
Not at all sir

LOL.Some people just like to match-make themselves online.

Maybe you should change your moniker first.

bukatyne:
I am thinking he meant his wife is better than Evina

How are you and family?

Hmmm.Evina will show up to confirm.
My family is great.How's urs?Happy Easter

bukatyne:
I doubt it o!

I think Opiosko has gotten married. Think I saw a thread a while back.

He must be joking then.

How can the size of manhood alter menstrual flow?No relationship!
She could be pregnant and yet still be seeing some blood flow.She needs to take a PT to be sure of that.
She could also be having hormonal imbalance which might be responsible for the childlessness thus far and has nothing to do with the man's manhood.
Let the woman go to the hospital and see a doctor who might suggest a work up.

Opiosko:
Very true... But i am more blessed sha.

Opiosko and Evina?
I wish u guys the best.

^^^This doesn't make sense here.

frank317:
How what u typed above makes sense to you simply amaze me.

What exactly do you mean by sin as a nature and not an act? So how many people have Jesus freed from sinful nature?

You know u lie when u say there are people who live a sin free life. Even if there are, they are not up to 0.5% of the worlds population. What then is the point of the mission?

I want to ask you... Do you live a sin free life? Are u naturally sin free like Christ since u received him? If no, why? Even after recieveing the so call perfect sinless nature? Dosnt that make a mess of all u have been saying? If yes, I will like to know how thatvis possible by asking u more questions.

Okay I understand you're an atheist and it's just not worth it getting into a back and forth with one.

simplex2:
And what has changed after the supposed death?

Sin still abound, death still abound!

The bible said sin entered the earth through 1 man (Adam) and that life entered through another (Jesus). So why are people still dying? Why are people still believed to go to hell if they die in sin? If Jesus had not died, (according to your bible), sinners will still go to hell and righteous people still go to heaven: so what difference did the death make?

You don't understand sin and death,hence your comment.
Sin is first of all a nature and not just an act.Jesus came to free man from that nature.Everyone who receives His life is given righteousness and is no longer considered a sinner.It's now left to such a person(born-again) to begin to live out that nature and the bible says,'sin shall not have dominion over you'.There are people who live such a life of not sinning.The Holy Spirit enables such a life.
On the concept of death,death is not just about taking a last breath,death according to Scripture is actually a cutting off from God-a separation.Leaving the mortal body for a Christian is not considered death,it's a transition.
People will go to hell because they refused the life of God which was in Jesus.It's the life that makes them acceptable to God and can make them stand before Him without guilt.Those who receive the life but turn to walk in ways of transgressions will also go to hell.

I don't know what you mean by logical but here goes..........
When God created man(Adam),he was a man without sin(he had a God nature).Unfortunately,he took of the forbidden apple in the garden of Eden and sinned(died).From then he took on a sin nature.
Every man born of a woman inherits that nature(it's not the sin committed but the nature).Man has to be free from that nature and take on the God nature-the nature of righteousness.
Jesus came and brought this nature.He was born of a woman but did not have the seed of man and so did not inherit the sin nature.For the forgiveness of sins,there had to shedding of blood but beyond shedding of blood,it was more about taking up the nature of righteousness found only in Jesus.

There had to be an exchange.His nature of righteousness for our nature of sin.This he accomplished on the cross and by His resurrection.
The pope cannot do it because he does not have the nature of righteousness and no prophet could do it either.

Evina:
It is shallow people who are not wise enough to build their home on the right foundation that make ignorant statements like, "you are not yet married to him, therefore you don't have a stake in his life".

If you and a man have decided to be man and wife, you enter into courtship. Courtship is the time you decide the kind of marriage you want and then proceed to lay the required foundation for that type of marriage. You do NOT wait to enter into marriage before you start putting the bricks that lays the foundation in place.

I decided from when I started earning a living that I WANTED to submit to a man wholly. With my finances too. I didn't want to be that woman that had a secret bank account or secret asset. The bible says, " a man shall leave his mum and dad and cleave to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.

Therefore, if the two of us have become one flesh, there should be no selfish agenda instigated by distrust. This understanding helped me choose a man that shared the same values. I couldn't trust the first guy with money. If I give him some money to keep for me, he would squander on frivolous things. He wasn't open about his finances.

My current and I are very open and transparent with our finances. I know every detail of his earnings, he knows about mine. We have one joint account for projects and individual accounts, to which we both have access to the ATM cards. It has been a very peaceful and mutually beneficial arrangement. The key to pulling such, is absolute trust. When each party trusts the other, transparency will come naturally.

If the man can trust that the woman is not out to take advantage of his financial status, but actually there to help and improve things, he will be open.

Also, I believe a godly woman MUST earn a living. It is ungodly to be slothful and you will be falling short as a woman, to not have your own earnings. The virtuous woman is a perfect guide.

So please, develop that skill to commercial level, strive to stay successful at it, you will see that he will respect you more.

All the best.

You've got a good head on your shoulders,Evina.Your fiance is a blessed man.

blessedqueen:
Dis has nuffin to do wit my husband(he is wot I call God sent) am trynna tell u d stuff men r made off not all men some. See dis thing we call marriage cnt be done on our own if u don't seek d face of God wen u searching u end up getting d wrong partner. I av seen a girl who spent on a guy ready to do everything for him but afterwards he left her. U r a man so u myt not understand from d ladies view dey r at d receiving end

.@bolded.This is the key.You seek the face of God and while doing that you also watch.How do you watch?By paying attention to the things you need to pay attention to-the character,personality,temperament, etc.That is why I always discourage the idea of jumping into bed as soon as you start dating.It messes up your head and does not allow you pay attention to more important things.

If you say your hubby is God sent,I want to say to you that many others have that same report.So why the conclusion on men being bad and not marriageable?

The issue of women being at the receiving end is not correct.Who does the spending more?You have not heard of men who sponsored a girl in school only for the girl to graduate and say the man is not up to standard?He has money but not educated.Some men have really suffered 'loss' with some women they dated.
I discourage ladies from expending their resources on a man.You can motivate,encourage and buy him gifts but don't turn into his cash cow.