₦airaland Forum

I was married to a controlling, obsessed man and the best thing i ever did, no matter how my heart broke, was to leave. I was a shadow of myself. I had changed so much to suit him and what he wanted that no one recognised me. Even i didnt know who i was at first when i left cos if i wasnt his wife then who was i. I couldnt make a simple decision on my own cos he always did that. Let me tell you i am now one of the stongest women i know. I have never looked back. I cant even imagine how much worse it would be if i had remained, and he was my husband and i didnt believe in divorce so you can imagine how hard it was. This guy is your bf so move on fast. He will only get worse if you marry him. Please learn from others mistakes. My ex husband still to this day, eight years later tries to control my life but even though he upsets me and gets on my nerves he cant and he knows it. He recently acted to take me to family law court cos i refused to speak to him, unbelievable. I have to have some contact cos we have a child but trust me get out now before your stuck with him forever. Unless of course you want to be a puppet or a controlled shadow, up to you!

Poster you already know the right answer. Do you really think so little of yourself that you will condiser marrying a man that is not capable of telling the truth, who already has a wife, who doesnt work at 46!!! Yikes!! Come on you know you deserve better than someone elses left overs. Please run as fast as you can in the other direction!!! Save yourself now. Your the only one that can. As Mrs Potato said, does his wife even know?? He has told so many lies how can you believe a word that comes out of his mouth. It may hurt for a little while but you may be surprised when you walk away that you didnt really love him, you where just 'stuck' in a situation. Free yourself from this disater!!

Yes its possible.

It is too young here. Most guys and girls arent thinking of marriage til 30. They are too busy with careers and education and having fun. Depends on the culture i guess but its unusual to see someone here getting married that young.

hummm, i feel there is more to this attention thing than your saying here. I am not saying you cheated but it does all depend on how you handled the other attention when your guy was around. Some girls dont like attention and i get the feeling you did love it and played to it. Guys can be very jealous and insecure beings and if you played up to other guys fawning over you and your guy was insecure its a recipe for disaster. I have a friend who is very outgoing and loves being the centre of attention and gives that off. She never cheated but lost many guys cos of her games. She is the biggest tease out there but technically never cheated. SO its a very fine line. I think there is a lot your not saying. Either that or he wanted to end the relationship and that was his only excuse.

Yes, but depends on how many she abortions she has had and as others have said, if there was any damage during the abortion. If all went well and no damage then yes.

Its sad but in reality it happens everywhere in every family. Sorry but i am supporting those close to me. Cant help everyone but as long as we are helping someone.

JOKEYTECH, No wonder there are so many unplanned pregnancies with people believing that nonsense. Are you male or female? I have more experience than you and know what im talking about. No woman has free time in a cycle. If you get your monthly you can get pregnant, end of story! Please be careful with what you tell people cos some young guys may think they are free to go and end up being daddies!!

coded777, i meant the contraceltive pill, sorry i should of been clear.

The women doesnt have to ovulating to get pregnant. If she is un protected she can get pregnant anytime of the month. There are better times than others to increase your chances but anytime a women is not using birth control she can get pregnent. So please stop saying there a times a women cant get pregnant cos guys and girls out there will think they are free and its not true!

If you dont look after your women and are never there somone else will. It never works unless the women is happy with the arrangement from before marriage. Relationships need time together at some point, not a part time or casual husband but might work for some women. Good luck!

It only takes one time to get pregnant. As others have said it depends on both parties fertility. If she has been on the pill it may take longer. All depends on the couple.

chic2pimp:
Errrrrr. . . . . . . . .Should I spell it out for you?

I would like to know too. Id like to know what i did to cop that type of abuse. So if you have an idea please share.

This topic has already been covered, bye!

Only if she is past having children or doesnt want any and you do! Otherwise, nothing at all!

CrazyMan:
*Speaking in tounges*

I bind you in cast you out of this forum in Jesus name.

Amen!! Now poster go away!!

Could also be a scam, had plenty of those tried but never worked. Im too smart for that!!

Nope!!  It wasnt an accident. I did it on purpose. Wanted it gone and knew who to call to do so, silly girl at the time but i dont believe in regrets!!!

I cant believe you guys saying you just withdraw! That is so cruel!! So thats how you treat someone who loved you and gave them your time and love! Wow!!! So harsh!!! Not cool people!!! If ya dont have the balls to do the right thing then stay out of relationships.

some girls are very clean but not if you then go plant it anywhere, hehe! Its good to let 'it' breath when sleeping or something in your own home but uncocered in public, way to gross!!

Really?? So many ways. Would you want to sit on something that some guy sat with a dirty butt? Same thing. You know exactly what i mean. Some girls are dirty and dont wash properly! Apart from the fact that what she may sit on or pick up without protection. Its discusting. If she stands the whole time, fine!

Thats not why i said its gross! I think its unclean. Women should wear pants is all im saying. Its dirty not to. I dont want to sit where some skank has had her thing hanging out, ewwww

How is that a turn on, i just see it as gross and unhygenic!! Yuck!!!

Again, im so sorry for your pain. But will you consider the fact that you may have gotten it wrong? Why are you so sure of what you heard? If what you say is true about picking up calls while doing it then she isnt worth your love. If she will disrespect your heart and be so cold to do that to you then she really isnt worth your time. Its bad enough for someone to cheat but to talk on the phone to your partner while doing it just blows my mind. Thats not love on her part. But i am just concerned for you that it may be a misunderstanding and 6 weeks is too long to leave it cos your heart will fester. Please talk to her. You dont have to ask her straight out just ask some simple questions and see if it adds up or makes sense. You seem to have your mind made up. But just consider the consequences if your wrong andf not giving her a chance to make it ok.

Whats with all these ideas to humiliate or hurt her. Just be honest. Man up and tell her to her face. She haqs done nothing and you want to just disappear or worse, yikes!!! Just do what you know already. Tell her its over, end of story!!

Its all been said, nothing more to add.

I am sorry for you in this situation but as others have said you really need to clarify. Breaking up over a misunderstanding is silly. You need to be sure if you really love her. Answer her call and talk to her. If her answers dont make sense then re think. But really, who would pick up a call while your doing it with someone, that makes no sense at all. You are letting your imagination run away with you. If you love her make sure you know the truth before walking away. If you are wrong it could be the worst mistake of your life. WHat do you have to lose??

[quote author=Shy-One link=topic=496510.msg7139587#msg7139587 date=1289714247]@ Tink:

How randomly, weird was that? Just ignore, Continue to be who you are.[/quote]Hehe, i know!! Thanks lovely. Some people need to just say no to drugs,

Maybe she internet banked Maybe?? Just a thought. Poster i hope you do the right thing by her asnd go visit and be a gentleman!