₦airaland Forum

hmmm..getting even more unpredictable.what could have led to Cindy telling such a huge and blatant lie against Simi..naijasexy,I'm waiting for you to unravel this ...and thanks for this captivating story.

kitty kat: ^ u won't understand. The tori sweet well well

The tori sweet no be small.I check this page every minute for updates.weldone my sweet naijasexy

[b][/b]

seunajia: Smh.You dey "tabon" for pigin English again??

@OP
Garri is a source of carbohydrate (energy giving food). When taken with -Sugar, Ground nut or milk- supplements; one might need to factor in other classes of food as appropriate.
Other than dat, it's become close to a dessert. My old woman used to fight me over taking it before food was ready though.
Try taking Garri with cold water on a sunny afternoon, instead of a glass of water, your life'll never remain the same =))

With regards to the health hazards mentioned, moderation is advised in whatever we do.

For those claiming the rich do not take Garri, talk about what you know.

[quote author=seunajia]Smh.You dey "tabon" for pigin English again??
roflmao..

Nice story,I'm loving the twists and unpredictability.You are such a good writer and you do this for fun?whew!I can almost relate with the characters,the description is so vivid.Infact,kudos to you!Erm pls keep the story coming..much love sweetie
@freecocoa,sorry bout your illness,hope you're getting better.your contribution to the thread makes it more interesting and being down is the last thing I wish you.get well soon dear.

op,I love you for hating football ..the game sucks!the obsession of some guys with it makes it worse.you are not alone dear and it doesn't make you less of a man. In fact it shows that you are a strong man,to say it out loud .

bntY: mouth still agape frm twist of event.lessons learnt
1.don't be quick to judge-listen to both sides of d story.
2.Pretending it didn't happen, not acting,or ignoring issues will not solve it-u gotta take dt step
3.seeking advice isn't a sign of weakness or foolishness-nobody is an island
4.Don't undermine d role or value of a good husband-they r sometimes indispensable.

true!you couldn't have said it better

horny4u: Your father may be loving to you and you may respect him and you may send that girl off but your dad is an abuser and a closet paedophile. If you do not uproot this weed carefully ....he will come after your pretty daughters....or he cannot abi? ok!

Confront your dad!

Coldfeet: Did you read the whole thread

I wonder

So pathetic! I can relate with your story because I have a friend(male) who went through a similar ordeal.I think it goes for both sexes,male and female.Why yours is more pitiable is that you went through so much to get to that point only for all to be snatched from you in a twinkle of an eye by the one you love.I'd say take heart, get something worthwhile doing and do not turn your back on love when it comes 'cause I know you will find love again .PLS PLS PLS,don't let this experience cause you to hate women.I know some women are evil but not all.stay blessed. I wish you the best in your future endeavors

bennyraz: I remember when i was 7-8yrs. I use to stammer a bit. But my brothers & cousins beat out the spirit of stammering out of me. By slapping my mouth, giving me a knock on the head e.t.c when i was 8-10. I began to speak freely. To the glory of God. I aint a stammerer. If you know of any child that stammers, beat the thing out. @OP i pity the girl & guy. What of if they both get angry at the same time, how do they express their selves? Infact how did the guy toast the girl? Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba be. I i i i i i jus just wan wan wan wan wan wan wan want to to to to tel tel tell you you you tha tha tha tha that i i i i i i lov lov love you you!

lol..you are so mean
@OP even though it seems stuttering is a genetic disorder,I guess the intensity matters.how bad does your friend and her partner stutter?If it's really bad then maybe it would be advisable for them to split to avoid the risk of their kids becoming stutterers otherwise they could continue the relationship if it's not really bad.

I don't think most of you guys read the OP's post carefully and for reference purpose,I will highlight some sentences to give a vivid description of the whole scenario debby999: Dear married women and men,pls I need your advice on this issue. I just had a baby boy and still on recovery, my sister inlaw came and Since then my peaceful home has turn to war zone. As am writting this I feel like runing away with my little boy.This lady has never talked to me since she came into the house.she is type that does my "brother's house I don't send anybody"to show that the sister inlaw is the rude and insolent type[b].Big war started the day I finished cooking [/i]and was about dishing food[/b][i]op was about dishing the food o this lady went to pot and started taking her own. After she finished the eating, I called her and explain to her as I should to my younger ones, that it was not right for her to take the food I just finished cooking without letting me knw.the woman is no slave in her husband's house Most times they will take all the meat in the food that's rude. The next day my husband called me that her siSter reported me to him. So I told him and he to said it was right. I didn't knw they have tabled the matter with their other sisters and all of them called me and saying I must allow their sis. To go the pot anything anytime she wants which I refused,she was just calling me names. I was suprised when she said my husband supported that the lady should be allowed. My husband came in I told him all that happened,he couldn't stand on his ground to defened his wife infront of his sisters. I felt unprotected. The last one that happened that made me write this was the day my husband brought up dat issue again,bcose he noticed his sister has not been eaten the food in the house. He said I have to treat his sisters with care and piortity and if I don't treat them dat way, bcose a always insist on the right thing, dat anything I see I should take.I told him since you cannot give me protection I have to let my parents knw about incase anything happens to me.called my parents to let them. My baby started crying I bathed him and gave him the baby so I can prepare his food. On bringing the food to feed him,my husband pushed me outthat's very bad of the man. he took the food frm me and gave his sister to feed him. he carried me up and threme on the bed, my hand hit the wardrobe, I was carrying[/b].domestic violence! I dressed up to get a recharge card to let my people knw, he carried me up gain and threw me on thE bed. I have to sneaked out late at night when he was sleeping. I called them and I was scared to go back again, I remebered my baby I had to go back. When I got back he has gone out to look for me, I opend my room to sleep, I found his sisters sleeping on my bed, I left them and slept on the couch. I asked the little girl he said my husband told them to sleep there. Am no longer feel protected with him. Since he can humulaite his wife in the presence of his sisters. Waiting for advice. Sorry for the errors, typed it in hurry so I can attend to my baby. ThAnks all.

Well,All I can say is that you are now fully aware of the kind of family you're married into..and since your husband can't fight for you,you have to put up with their acts for now so peace can reign. In the mean time,go back home have a heart to heart discussion with your husband.If he gives you a listening ear ,tell him how insecure you feel in your own home . It is well.

IGotIssues: How old is that picture? Shaped eyebrows and glossy lips?

I really do want to know how much he's worth now 'cause I accidentally stumbled on this thread from four years ago and these were Seun's words Re: Ho[b]w Much Is Seun Osewa Worth? by Seun(m): 4 years & 7 months
I am just managing o. I don't have a car or an apartment. My most expensive possession is a 105k Laptop, and the only reason why I bought it is NEPA - it lasts for more than 12 hours with my inverter. I'm a very small boy.[/b]

You just have to trust your partner though not being gullible in the process ..Unnecessary suspicions can cause a strain in your relationship..if it helps,here is a similar post//www.nairaland.com/881790/how-can-you-overcome-insecurities

I must commend you,you are a good man and your approach to the matter was mature.Like you said,the battle is now left for the family.you have completed your part for now. I hate to say though that 'hell hath no fury like a woman whose love is scorned'.Yinka might adopt desperate measures to get you,just commit all to God and I assure you that you'll have the best and last laugh.

@Fhemmmy, well,the difference between the Nigerian system of study and British is that after high/secondary school, you have to go to college for two years for further study before jetting off to uni unlike Nigeria where students enter uni immediately after completing their secondary education .So the three yrs engineering programme here is still understandable cuz summing up the years gives five years which equates the norm in Nigeria

When Oga Wilson paid Uduak’s salary on the 23rd of December, he was very excited. He had thought because he was sick in the first two weeks of December he wouldn’t get paid until the following month which would have been next year. But when Oga Wilson called him into his office and handed him his envelope he was so happy he didn’t know when he went on his knees and said “thank you”. He was even more excited when he rushed into the toilet and counted the money and found out he had a Christmas bonus. He ran back into Oga Wilson’s office and thanked him again. He was happy.
After work that day, he went to Oyingbo market and personally bought foodstuff for the house, his wife Itoro was pregnant again with their 4th child. She was 6 months gone and the doctor had warned that she shouldn’t be stressed. So when she broke down with malaria a few days back he decided not to stress her at all. He bought a chicken, some pepper, rice, and all the ingredients he thought would do the magic so his family could have a good Christmas. Umoh his second son was still mad at him for not paying for his end of the year party fiesta the school had organized. He wanted to compensate him with something better. On his way back home he counted the money left on him, it was seven thousand. He shook his head. Life was becoming unbearable. He told himself he must go to the Ijaw midwife in his area and pay three thousand down payments for his wife’s delivery. It was ten thousand naira. He’ll pay five thousand the following month. She still had three months to go, by then he would have paid the bills in full and still be able to buy some baby things.
When he got home, the kids were asleep already so they didn’t see the chicken until the 24th morning. He saw the smiles on their faces. Even his wife was happy with the things he bought. The Rev Father had given him some new kid’s clothes a non governmental organization brought to the church some weeks back. So he didn’t need to buy any Christmas clothes for the kids. That had been sorted already. That is why the Rev Father had advised that he must bring the family to church on Christmas as people from the non governmental organization will be in church that day to help families with scholarships for their kids and other things. He hoped to make the list. If the scholarship can be given to Umoh who was very brilliant he would be happy. That would be one school fee off his neck and he could divert the funds to the up keep of the coming baby. He hadn’t plan for another baby. When his wife told him she was pregnant. He didn’t know how to take it. He didn’t want another baby. But there was nothing he could do. It was the same thing that happened when she told him she was pregnant with Emem, he had screamed at her for allowing herself to be pregnant when she knew their condition. She had blamed herself for being pregnant and had tried to remove the unborn baby with some concoctions which almost killed her. Again, it was the Rev Father who rescued them by taking her to a standard hospital and paid all the bills. So when she told him about this pregnancy, he was careful about his reaction. Though he didn’t want it, he was calm. He showed her more affection and care.
On the 24th night before they went to church for the Passover service, he killed the chicken and she prepared some of the ingredients for the jollof rice and afang soup she would prepare on Christmas. At least they won’t feel less when their neighbors merry, they will also merry. After the Passover service, he bought some fire works for the kids who were really crying for one. His wife slept immediately they got home so she could wake up on time on Christmas to start preparing the little she can before they go to church. This year’s Christmas was indeed special, it had fallen on a Sunday.
Umoh was the first to wake. He screamed from his sleep. He had a bad dream. He woke up screaming “mommy mommy”. Uduak rushed to him and woke him up. He asked the 6 years old what was wrong and all he could say was “church fire, Church fire, everything fire”. He didn’t understand her so he parted his head some more and took him to the bathroom to bathe him as he did for the rest. He brought out the clothes Rev Father had given him and wore it for them one after the other. The time was 8.30 already. His wife was already done cooking the afang soup. She kept the soup in a cooler, she served them some of the rice and kept the rest in another cooler. They all got dressed and left for Church.
THE CHURCH SERVICE
When they got to the church round about, they saw a herd of cow but their herdsman was not there, just the cows, roaming the junction. They were a little late for church though, it was hard finding keke napep. When they got in, service was in full gear, everybody was dancing. The choir was singing a popular tune so they also danced in and sat on some of the empty seat available. Church was jam-packed. His eyes and the Rev Fathers’ met and they both smiled. His family was looking well-kept and neat. The Rev Father was happy. After dancing, Rev Father preached a little about the essence of Christmas and why giving is important. Some minutes later the non governmental organization mounted the podium and spoke a little about their mission and why they have decided to identify with the church despite all the churches around. They gave some families bags of rice, more clothes, medicines and lastly the scholarships. They had asked all parents to submit their kids school report card for the term and for the year. Umoh had the best result so far with Chinyere Uwazurike closely behind him. Both of them were given the scholarship. The organization would pay for their school fee up to their secondary school level with the promise that they would keep good grades and be in their best behaviors. Uduak was so happy. He danced out when the kids and their parents were asked to come out. His son had made him proud. This was his best Christmas since he got married. When he went back to their seat his wife was crying already. She smiled at him and parted Umoh’s head. Then Umoh said “I want to go to the toilet”. At first they didn’t hear him, until he repeated it for the third time. The music was too loud. The church toilet was another building apart from the church. It was like a boy’s quarter detached from the church’s building. He called an usher who took Umoh to the toilet. As they left, Rev Father asked everyone to be on their feet so he could pray for them. He said “Dear Lord, we your children have gathered today to celebrate the birth of your son, our savior who laid down his life so we can live…” He was still praying when the microphone started going hot in his hands. He threw it on the floor. He let out a painful “Jesus” and everyone was forced to open their eyes. Everybody was surprised to see the microphone on the floor. Smoke was coming out from the microphone. He moved close to it to see what could be the cause. The rest of the congregation chorused “blood of Jesus, blood of Jesus”. As he kicked the microphone a little, it’s sparked then in the split of a second the whole church crashed. A loud bang was heard. The church was in smoke. Umoh and the usher fell to the ground. Bodies, half burnt, some completely burnt scattered everywhere. Umoh kept crying, some building block of the toilet had crashed on him. His left arm was trapped. The usher with him who had waited for him outside carried some blocks off his hand and helped him out. Umoh kept crying “church fire, everything fire”. His parents had been in the church. The soldiers came later and held him. Only five people had survived. And they were the people who were in the toilet. Everybody in the church was gone. Gone with the flames.

Writers words"I don’t know anything about everything. But when I heard about the bombing. I pitied us. All of us as a nation. That we have come to this point in our history when the lives of human being would be taken without cause, respect. I thought of every person like Uduak that would have been in that church.Say a prayer for Nigeria please".

http://ijebuboy./2011/12/28/gone-with-the-christmas-flames/

Such a strong girl, May the lord continue to give you the grace to bear this great loss, so pathetic!Man's inhumanity to man.

@flashaldrin, well,you could call it a non-fiction though not birth from a personal experience but rather a compilation of violated victims' experiences. As to why people are not sympathetic,apparently people have different views  to stories more so Chioma doesn't seem  interested in sympathy.The whole essence of the story is to create awareness about rape,the reality of it and the misery  rapists cause their victims.

I saw this on a friend's blog and decided to  share it(don't bother about plagiarism because I got her permission to do this, so no copyright infringement  ),  . These are her words "This post has been in work for three months. Before the stories of the violation incidents, I had written a story that was all about demystifying violation. In the wake of the ignorant talks that steamed from the first gang-banging, I then decided to write a story about someone who was actually violated. And I did. Each time I started, I would get clogged by emotions and stop halfway. But I am done"
Someone somewhere might be going through something similar,  Read and learn!


Paidion Coalition: Dec 1, 1998

“He slammed into me. All I could think of was I would kill him someday.” I feel dizzy as I review my day.
            “At 10 a.m., I received a call from him. He had finally called. He asked if I were at home. I told him that I was, but left out the part that I was actually getting ready for my 11 o'clock class. Five minutes later, he told me that he was outside. I needed a ride to class anyways. So, I grabbed my handbag and books, locked my door and got into his car. He wanted to hang out. I told him that I was going to class. We made arrangements to meet the next day. He drove me to my faculty.

            My classmates were out, hanging around the building, doing nothing. I walked to my friends, who were all interested in finding out how I had met him. After all the bickering, they told me class was canceled. I only had that one class, so I  walked back and continued our date.
            He drove to his room. I hoped that we wouldn't stay too long as I got out of the car. We went in. The TV was on, it was some Disney movie. I relaxed immediately. He asked me to close my eyes. He told me not to peek. I promised not to. I shut my eyes without any worries. He told me to open my eyes. I did. He was stark Unclad. I forced my eyes not to travel down. They did. I guess he took it to mean consent, because he jumped on me and wrestled me.
            I told him that I wouldn't sleep with him. He had the effrontery to tell me that he couldn't understand why women think that playing coy turns a man on. I clenched my thighs and kept struggling. He pinned me down and deftly unhooked my bra, with my hands held in his left hand. He lapped at my tiny buds, his head dipped in offering.
            Something snapped in me. I stayed still. I remembered that I had sworn once that I would lie still, instead of thrash around, if I ever got violated. I had been told the story of a girl whose uterus had been marred badly that she walks with her legs apart. The doctor had pronounced that she would never enjoy sex again. I did not want to be her.
Even though I had been told this in order for me to be aware of the dangers of walking at night, it had served one purpose: I swore that I would rather be cold than allow my internals be ripped, should I ever be in such situation. Why add to the psychological trauma? So, I laid down lifeless, as he swayed to his internal music.”
“Is that good enough for you?” I tell her. She is sitting across from me with her legs crossed, on a black leather chair. The pen, with which she jots some things down on the pad on right leg, poised in the air.  At her back are frames that tell a tale. She is the best or my parents wouldn’t have bothered in the first place. She wears red frame designer glasses. The glasses are a necessity for a shrink but the red, interesting. I wonder how she is outside of the office. If she has a child, a daughter perhaps. If she truly cares about the people who sit on her comfy couch or if it is just all about the money. She isn’t cheap.
She says “Chioma, I need to do this in order to help you.”
Help me? No one can help me. I am way past help. Help me do what? I just want to be alone. But my parents think differently.       
            “We need to go over the scenario, this time I want you to talk about the violation itself,” she says.
Was I not talking about the violation? I was. But I know what she wants. She wants me to describe how he did it.
            I stare at her, wondering why in the hell am I talking to her. Yes, I know. I am doing it for my mum. She wants to appease her mind. So, I drag myself here. This is the third visit.

            “Alright, why didn't you scream?” she says.
            “Because there was no way in hell that I was going to allow anyone rush to my defense. I would rather die than be tagged the violated girl. The humiliation would have been worse than the actual violation itself.”
            “Did you do anything to show him that you didn’t want it?” she continues.
            “He is freaking heavier that I am. What did you want me to have done?” I clench my teeth as I say this. “Honestly, I don’t know why my mum keeps dragging me here. There is nothing anyone could have done and can do now.”
            “Why do you feel so?” she says.
            How is that supposed to help me? Oh wait, talking is meant to make me better. A better what? I look at the clock over her head. I have 10 more minutes to endure.
            “Why do you think that you are way past help?” she says.
            I wonder how to tell her she was either silly or crazy to believe that whatever she is doing is working. And I wonder what makes her think that I would be willing to tell her more. I am tired of talking. Talking isn’t getting me anywhere. It never does.
            “Let me rephrase myself. Do you wish you had reported the incident?” she ventures.
            This is it. I am done talking to her. I grab my phone from lap and pick up my bag.
            “With all our sessions, you still ask me that? Then, I guess this isn’t working. Have a great day, Dr. Linda.” I say as I stand up and readjust my dress. She stands up too and looks me in the eye.
            “You might think this isn’t helping but it is. Do remember to set up an appointment with my secretary before you leave. See you next week.” she says.
            “There is no next week anymore. I am done. Have a great life, doc.”
            “You still have my card. Call me anytime you need to talk to someone.” She says as she walks to her desk. I walk out without looking back. Knowing that I am the one in five women. And that justice would never be served. There is nothing anyone would do about it. I squeeze my bag tighter and walk to my car. I get in and sit, staring at the windscreen. I hear his taunt, saying that nobody would care and I couldn’t do anything. I close my eyes and wished I had really carried out my threat to kill him. But, none of it matters. My tears wash my away my fears. I embrace my scar. I look up to her office.  I see her looking at me from the window. She smiles at me and steps away from the window. I shake my head as I start the car.   

The sequel to this story can be found on her blog  http://olatodera..com/2011/12/dec-1-1998-ii.html

@Kayyy, I do not support girls that depend wholly on their boyfriends BUT if the guy is up to the task(ie he's got the money) and not complaining ,fine!My previous response about objectivity is in relation to the post.

Just had to join nairaland after reading your post and going through all the comments.
To all the guys moaning about girls' demands from their boyfriends in a thread like this,is it really necessary?why don't you stop being sentimental and be objective!The op said she's never asked him for anything and he demanding  money for a pair of shoes and even volunteering to follow her to the bank?, I can picture how the conversation went
Choicegirl:aaww baby,I just misplaced my debit card
Boyfriend:That's no problem,I will accompany you to the bank to go get the money.

@choicegirl,I won't be too quick to judge,the practical advice I will give is that you call your boyfriend,tell him how things are with you(ie you're not financially buoyant  too )and explain to him why you won't be able to help him with the pair of shoes, you could offer to continue helping him with other necessities like feeding.His reaction then and afterwards will help you determine who he really is. Now, personally I don't think it's wrong for a guy to demand things from his girl though I feel it should be the last resort ie when friends or families can't help, but when it becomes too persistent and for frivolities like shoes(at least not with your financial status for now),it's a NO for me.