₦airaland Forum

Gaidenk:
Bros,I spend most of my time reading tru posts on NL,never commented like two years after registering so it was easy to observe. Forget cococandy,she and many others are stereotypical and prejudiced for whatever reason and there's nothing you or anyone can say that will change it. Just praying for the sorry dude that will pay. You see them "crouching like a tiger","hidden like a dragon",seeking ways to bash Nigerian men every lil chance they get. Yeye shildren.

I have lived 4 decades on this planet,i have seen shits happen and thats why my write ups are always deep and unfortunately only mature minds can comprehend the message therin..

On nairaland we have teenagers,adults and parents and this platform is a meeting point for all.

I have developed an indifferent approach to derogatory comments and that is why you will hardly see me quote or reply any comment that is derogatory,abusive or hyperventilating because that alone is a sign that the poster is either a kid or has a low IQ.

In this world there is no way people will have same opinion on issues but no one has the right to impose your opinion on another and it is inappropriate to use hateful or abusive words on any other simply because they are not on the same page with you.

I am a no holds bar writer and when i express my views,it has nada to do with my personal life but i write from the realistic point of view and thats where people have problems.

So my advice to every poster on nland is to be more intellectual and less abusive when they give a counter opinion.This is the largest online African forum visited by millions all around the world and not a beer parlour. Lets show the world how intelligent we are as Nigerians and Africans.

dapsin999:

"There are three things that are too amazing for me, four that I do not understand:The way of an eagle in the sky, The way of a serpent on a rock, The way of a ship in the middle of the sea, And the way of a man with a maid" Proverbs 30:18-19.

You changed the words of the bible. "Woman not maid"

Na wa for you o. na one version of bible dey and wettin be the difference between woman and maid as these two are used interchangeably.

ndidibabe:
I guess you are a full house wife. I'm a banker and I leave home as early as 5am and won't come back till 9pm due to traffic. Now, tell me how I can do without a maid. The mistake most ladies make today is to run after rich men and erase the word 'God fearing' from their dictionary. I'm happy for whom I am today and what my man has turned to be. He wasn't a millionaire when I met him but he was a very good christian . Today, he is rich and he is still very God fearing. We have two maids. The two of them have very big boobs but honestly, my man is too big to be randy.

Madam i use GOD beg you,,i am not insinuating anything at all but erase that last line fast.

No man is too big to be randy. I pride myself anyday anywhere anytime as one of the most sexually decent man still alive but nevertheless i know my limits.I flee from sexual sins rather than confront it and hope to withstand it.

I won't write beyond this.

5minsmadness:
GOD
BLESS
YOU

[b]Nairaland family section has been overrun by rabble of the worst kind, frustrated immature and insecure people that would rather live in a hallucinatory utopia of thier own minds than face the harsh realities of life. [/b]I have since followed your path a long time ago and relegated myself to the fun section though I come back here from time to time. Anyone coming to family section to seek advice is just digging thier own grave, no succor lies here, only rancor, bitterness and the obnoxious jeers of immature, jealous and jobless folk. It is indeed a pity.

Very true.

As for me i just do my thing and respond to any comment that seems reasonable.

Nairaland is a platform where we have diverse kind of people and that must be appreciated and coped with.

Atlantian:
I can totally relate to it. Ours is the opposite. My wife loves our maids to look great. She scold them not to look rough 'in her house' and gives them money to buy new cloths and even give them some of her old 'expensive' brands. These maids feel at home. I hope it will not sound like boasting when I say that the BQ that my maid stay have a separate DSTV decoder, a Flatscreen TV, Airconditioner, a fan, a great bed, and water dispenser just to make them very comfortable. We tend to hate people who maltreat their maids. The maid is chauffeured to the market or shopping and when no one is around to drive, they use taxi. What happens is that within 2 to 3 weeks, the maid become so beautiful, fresh, clean-skined and above all their feminine features blossom. Believe me when I say, my friends ask, "if I am doing it", and I will laugh and dismiss such thoughts. I have caught my friend taking my housemaid phone number, an elderly man o. I have seen another giving her cash, and when I question why he should give my maid cash, he said, he is appreciating the good meal that she prepares. And I warned them never to try that nonsense again.

On many occasions, I have had to rush out to the club to get ladies for the night on account of my maid's seductive movements and body language while my wife is away. I had to fire 3 maids, and decide to order food from restaurants. This is how I live now. Have I stated that my old seductive maid came back to my house 3 months after being laid off, "just to come and greet me" and that she wore such seductive attire that I didnt let her come inside the house ? I let her stand and greet me at the garage and I pretended I was driving out, just to fight the temptation.

If you think men who sleep with maids are weak, and silly, please think again. A greater percentile of men, can not resist the maids, not even Arnold Schwarzenegger could.

This is why i love to respond to posts from the married or matured ones.

I really respect you i must say. For me i have never seen myself in such a situation where i will fight temptation from a maid because my ex never had any but after our separation a maid came in to help on the instruction of a friend and for two weeks i knew how i had to keep myself in check. I will be sleeping just to see her walk into the room to sleep by my side and i was like which kain temptation be this but what helped me was that the maid was not it physically else i don't know what i would have done with her.

If my wife employs a curvy made i will call her immediately and ask her to take her back because as i wrote before, sexual temptation should be avoided because you can hardly overcome it.

Moneyab:
@ Atlantian. I can relate with your experience. A close friend and next-door neighbour had to forcefully dispatch their so called maid just after about a week of being brought to Lagos by his wife. According to him, they have 3 young kids and madam was beginning to complain of being over worked domestic wise. Off madam travels to the village and brings home an 18 year old female siren as maid. My pal on seeing them both as they arrive, swallows hard & later draws madam to one corner & asks her " which kind maid be this?" Madam in response reels off all the good qualities this girl supposedly has. According to him, the next few days, madam abdicated certain responsibilities to the maid like cooking, washing etc just to according to her "test how hard working & responsible the maid was". Madam would order the maid to serve oga his meals while she watches her favourite soaps or takes a rest. The sad part was that the maid didn't come with any good clothes or bra apparently and was always giggling her massive boobies and ass all over the place & my guy, a self confessed retired player couldn't help but notice unfortunately & was being tempted to come out of "retirement". Several times he had a near shouting match with madam over the urgent need to buy the girl some clothes to at least cover up not for his sake but to stave off embarrassment especially when they had visitors and the maid had to show up in the sitting room to serve guests poorly dressed. In madams view, it was too "early to start "buying clothes for a mere maid" whose conduct was still under probation. But my guy know wetin him eye dey see plus the unnecessary hard ons wey d maid de cause am but madam FAILED to notice. To cut a long story short he bundled the maid home under some false pretext but the real reasons according to him was that wifey just carry temptation come meet am for house....

LOBATAN. How i wish only married people can make comments here.

400billionman:
Free second wife without bride price.

Lol and usually a younger and more voluptuous one at that. You need to see these maids from akwa ibom,Benin rep,Togo and you will cast and bind not to take a second look at their young and sumptuous body.


One was almost hired by my older brother and you won't believe what she told her friend who was a maid in another house."she said in her very words "GOD save my brother wife for not hiring her because she will scr*w the hell outta my bro" can you beat that?

olamefun:
I wouldn't advice that one employs a minor for a maid cus a minor sooner or later will b what we've been avoiding (matured)......best option,employ the elderly....@least u won't sleep with a 60year old.....lol

Better option.Especially when we have men sleeping with 4year old these days.

ttmacoy:
Those children should be in school and not being your maids for the peanuts that you pay them plus the ill treatment. It is modern day slavery. Even the United Nations classifies it as slavery.

CHILD SLAVERY

WHAT IS THE PROBLEM?
Despite the fact that many people believe that slavery no longer exists, the International Labour Organization (ILO) estimated that there are some 8.4 million children in slavery or practices similar to slavery.

They are all in child slavery, as defined by the 1956 UN Supplementary Slavery Convention. In these cases, as well as being in a hazardous situation, there is an intention to exploit these children for someone else’s gain.

This group of children includes:
Child domestic workers, many of whom are forced to work long hours, in hazardous and often abusive environments, for little or no pay, and often far from home.

http://www.antislavery.org/english/slavery_today/child_slavery/default.aspx

Its easy for us to sit in the comfort of our homes sipping wine and writing against child labor. If a parent comes to your house this moment and asks you for financial aid to take care of urgent needs will you have enough to give at least 10 of such? If yes i guess you should start an NGO and campaign against child labor as well as provide financial succor to these people.

An AIT staff just threatened suicide over hunger,salaries are been owed by many states and our ladies enslave themselves in order to get a job and you are here writing grammar about child labor.

You need to go to some families and see suffering in action so if a parent sees an option of sending their 15 to 17 year old girl child to be A HOUSE HELP to earn wages just like other jobs why write grammar here about child labor?

Its because we see the house maid thing as something low and disdainful that's why you see it as child labor so tell me which one is not labor?

I have met house maids that did the job to raise money for a specific purpose and i have sen a 17year old lady did this for a year and kept over 100k which she used to foster her education.

Please please enough of this baseless policies that do not put food on the table. If you can't help them financially let them work and earn a living.

ceecee0703:
u obviously didnt get d OP drift....he simply called women to be nice even after marriage n try not to neglect their duties as the men continue in theirs

ABEG HELP ME TELL THEM especially those who never read to comprehend but takes out an inconclusive part of a write up and launch attack.

Atlantian:
I fired my maid immediately my wife entered the plane. Now I have no maid, and I am at the mercy of the restaurant operators, but I prefer it to that seductive maid that wears miniskirts and sleeveless blouses. She is always like.."Boss, your food is on the table" and I said, okay and I put my head back to laptop and chat on nairaland. Five minutes later, she is still standing there smiling and when asked, why are you still here ? She says "Madam said I should always make sure you eat, so I am waiting for you until you come to the dining table" Jesus Christu! I wont lie, I had massive erections sometimes. I even gave her money to go and buy Mary Slessor kind of dresses. This girl went and bought more sophisticated micro mini skirts. If I didnt fire that girl, not even Jehovah would have stopped my raging dick. For men who think they can control themselves. It is not possible. I know what I saw. These maids are on a mission.

[size=20pt]
100000000000000000000000000000LIKES[/size]

You are indeed a man of honor and i doff my hat for you. Can you imagine the embolden. Damn

peppyluv02:
And when those little ones start growing and developing the so called voluptuous sexual organs,your wife had better send her parking and get another minor or 'bonga fish' or you will be forced to rape her...
Proud to say I know men out there who reason with their brain and not their sexual organ.

Yes o and i know many too but i still believe its better to allow sleeping dogs lie.

Joavid:
This maid talk again. Who needs maid this days when you have easy to use house hold equipments for chores?


Or just pay someone who will come, clean 3 times a week and leave.

Is it that hard to figure out

And if its about the kids, I don't think any sane person would leave her child in the hands of a stranger all day with all news I read on NL. Chai!!

It will blow your mind that countless number of women still employ maids and matured one at that.

jnrbayano:
Being principled is noble and its always advised.

This together with Gods grace is what is needed against temptation of the opposite sex.

A voluptuous lady is that which is roundly endowed. She is sexually very attracting.

Bringing someone like that home to sometimes make and serve meals to the man, make his bed etc is akin to employing another helper (woman) for the man.

A wise woman takes temptation away from her man and also prays for him but her foolish counterpart rather brings temptation to her man.

You must be a reasonable somebody.

I have strong feelings that most people castigating this write up did not read and comprehend.

Why do you think men kick against house boys and matured ones at that?

We have wives sleeping with gardeners,gate men,drivers and male house helps so i wonder that if women can stoop so low to do these despite the expected high morale standard from the female folks, howbeit a man who many ladies refer to as dogs anyways so why bring a bone for the dog to crack?

ideykwum:
You're definitely not a virgin!

I know why i took time out to disect this issue.

For instance in the easthern part no matter how some parts claim to be economical,guys will still spend real big not that its baad to spend big on a LovePeddler you love but its so annoying how some people will present crazy list for a lady who have been terribly used by another man or men other than the intending hubby.

I pity our igbo sisters and if they do not fight against this selfish and greddy tradtion,many of them will end up without a husband.

i know many igbo ladies in their thirties still single not dor any other reason but this same tradition that have been twisted in modern days to satisfy the greediness of the elders in their family.

Bride price is for virgins and anyman who pays a bprice on a non virgin should do so without been exploited. Thats the point.

Sabrwahaqqo:
Lol. Girls are not this hard really
Relationship is a game of compatibility. If you guys are really compatible, you don't have to sweat it. Things will go fine.

Well for me i dont go about wooing babes and if i must woo you i will do it so decently that you wont even have the propensity to treat me harshly.

I am not the type who appreciates the hard to get laddies.If after i make my intentions known to you in a sincere way and you say No thats it,i will stop bothering you.

Only babies play hard to get these days but matured babe will tell you no and they mean no and if they want to give u a chance they will extend a hand of friendship but will nver treat you harshly.

adeh39:


*Modified

Number 4 got me cracking

I do number 5 alot, cos some guys are just so annoying..........they don't even care to know if u are in a gud mood or not, at least guys should learn to read a lady's face before approaching her.....

Number 6, yeah I do that too.....but it depends on the type of guy.....

*Bows out*

Continue dear,na your time. i pray that you overgrow this stage and be in a commited affair cos time waits for no one.

misspicy:
OP,you never talk wetin dey pain you because I feel this is not the time and age to be campaigning about paying bride price on virgins only or not,why? The only tradition that seems to extort money and material gains from this bride price is mostly the easterners,in most western and northern states,bride price is not outragious and many men gladly pay for the love they have for their spouse to be,most cultures in d western states even return this bride price to d grooms family claiming that they are not selling their daughters,so OP I urge you to direct this article to the people concerned...you know what I mean and stop generalising,

When you take time out to read the post please come back and comment.

gidjah:
Maids,?....hmmm....how many men would be able to resist a nice looking oneonly d few godly men like us of course.i havent yet finished eating d one God gave me free ,na to day look some where elseno no no ,ra ra ra ra ra ra!,nbanunu !

Of-course we have decent guys who will never look the side of a maid for anything in the world but then the wife should let the maid's duty not bring her close to the hubby like cooking his meals, serving him, making the bed and stuffs like that. This is my point and i still wonder why some people her can't comprehend the message.

crackhaus:
https://www.reactiongifs.com/r/oboy.gif


Believe me, a whole lot of these young women here have almost the same story as yours regarding their upbringing - but trust NL, the foremost site for users who thrive on make-believe... they want to come off as people born into families of privilege where they had 10 house helps growing up, when in actual fact they had mothers who worked, raised kids, and kept the home-front without employing any maid nor bitching about having to do too much chores.

Folks from less-than-average backgrounds want to come here and act like Nigerian women only just started working long hours and still managing their home in this decade.

Love your piece.

Honestly that lady SexyStrawberry deserves a medal and i fell in love with her for that pure and non pretentious post.

cococandy:
Omo that peculiar society needs to do something about itself. Exploiting kids won't solve their problems.

Candy lets face it.

Its easy for us to sit in the comfort of our homes sipping wine and writing against child labor. If a parent comes to your house this moment and asks you for financial aid to take care of urgent needs will you have enough to give at least 10 of such? If yes i guess you should start an NGO and campaign against child labor as well as provide financial succor to these people.

An AIT staff just threatened suicide over hunger,salaries are been owed by many states and our ladies enslave themselves in order to get a job and you are here writing grammar about child labor.

You need to go to some families and see suffering in action so if a parent sees an option of sending their 15 to 17 year old girl child to be A HOUSE HELP to earn wages just like other jobs why write grammar here about child labor?

Its because we see the house maid thing as something low and disdainful that's why you see it as child labor so tell me which one is not labor?

I have met house maids that did the job to raise money for a specific purpose and i have sen a 17year old lady did this for a year and kept over 100k which she used to foster her education.

Please please enough of this grammar you are writing here. If you can't help them financially let them work and earna a living.

SexyStrawberry:
U know, I don't really care what they think of me here, when I see the truth, I would stand with it no matter what, most times I just read n stop myself from commenting cox its like when I comment, I see myself telling a 1yr old that there is chewing gum inside that stick of lollipop and she doubts and give me reasons why I don't know what I am saying or tell me that I am just blabbing. If u understand what I mean, that's how it is when u comment on Nairaland, that's y most times I stick to the fun sides of the forum. The ladies can say all they want, everyone is entitled to their own opinion, they can't shove their opinion down my throat just as I can't shove mine down their throats as well. OP, next time try to post things that aren't that serious, matured minds are not really much here. I am a woman, I had a mother who thought me to be a woman, we are 7 in my family, my mother never employed a house help, I have siblings who are twins, yet my mother never employed a house help, she did well in her family, and when it came to financial burden, my mother provided for her family more than my dad ever did, unfortunately I am not from a rich home, I am not ashamed to say it, not everyone are born lucky to come out from a wealthy family, werrin my papa been dey work sef? So my dear ladies who are saying I am blabbing till I get married, even if I am not married, I can learn from my mother how to be independent and hard working. Thank you.

Hmmm honestly im short of words...

this is one of the most reasonable and mature posts i have ever read on nairaland.

Unleess Seun introduces age sections on nairaland we just have to cope with different age groups and their idiosyncracies.

2CatWoman:
You mentioned the bible twice in the OP. I will come back with a reply.

This thread is about the essence of bride price from the cultural perspective.

Ngokafor:
..Mr man what does being a prolific writer has to do with anything?the thing is stop propagating falsehood and giving silly excuses for adultery.

...This country is already riddled with stories of rape,molestation of female adults and minors alike by your gender..it is getting really worrisome,embarassing and pathetic.Your lame excuses on why men mis-behave is why these bad behaviour are increasingly more common..

..Instead of dissipating energy on women lecturing them on how to pamper,baby and nurse an out-of -control men whom your kind encourage...educate your fellow males on the virtues of self-control as ordained by God and man..Our morally-bankrupt soceity will be better for it.

..Gooday.

I really enjoyed your super story.

I repeat..a woman who allows a maid takes over her kichen should be ready to also give up her bedroom for her.Shikena

2CatWoman:
1. The Bible has only been with us for about 200 years.


2. Who are the men sleeping with instead?

?

leave bible outta this. Lets talk tradition.

SexyStrawberry:
OP God bless u, I have seen a deacon in the church who is bleeping his wife's best friend! u can imagine that! So why can't men bleep their house helps if the opportunity sets itself, I must say the ladies out their who thinks their husband wouldn't do such are gullible! Men are moved by what they see, no matter how saintly he is, women are moved by what they hear! Men and women are not the same! unless ur trying to say that ur husband is Jesus Himself! as in no be normal human being. A woman can see and appreciate a good looking man, but that is as far as it gets as long as her hubby is satisfying her all round, unless he is falling short in some ways b4 she will start misbehaving, I am talking about a well mannered woman o, not the loose ones, but for men, no matter how many styles u give him in bed tonight, as long as he is seeing a well shaped Ukwu moving around d house untouched, he would want to have a taste of that one as well! And God punish u that Ukwu is tighter than urs, ur own don finish be that! Men with a very very strict self control are like 1 out of 500. And as for employing house helps, me personally don't think I need them, even if I have a thousand kids, I am not a lazy woman! what can the house help do in my house that I can't do?! huh?

Im surprised that haters of truth have not accused you that you are a man faking to be a woman.

Sometimes when i write deep articles like this im usually tempted to tag it for only married people and not people with little or no experience to just come in and start cursing and making mockery of themselves.

When i write im always careful never to generalize but because some people can noy comprehend that the word..MOST..means there are few ezxeptions,they will start rewriting exactly what i wrote thinking they are making sense.

marbee:
I've read all what you are saying, so you will approach a helpless maid for se.x because she cooks delicious food?so when you impregnate her or she leaves you will also continue with d next maid abi?

Some maid will only agree because they are scared and helpless.You are thereby preying on the poor and needy which is wrong.

Stop giving reasons for cheating or adultery Or do you prefer the wife sits at home and not work because you want to be attended to like a child?

All these sermons does not change the fact that a wife who allows a maid take over her kitchen should not cry foul if she takes over her bedroom.

marbee:
Mumu thread! This family section is gradually turning into a joke section

Imagine someone portraying men as childish, weak,senseless;that cannot control himself once he is not given attention.

In short, with this your thread men are the weaker being with fish brain.

At Op, don't quote the bible upside down abeg,so if is your wife's siblings or even your daughter doing all those things you listed, you will pounce on her abi? Or because she is a helpless maid now,you must sleep with her, because you are visual being .This your thinking no make sense at all.

Please read carefully again and stop making bias comments. Learn to read and comprehend.

Blade21:
Yes and Yes its wrong let's look @ it dis way a man is never around nd de maid is a guy who does all de above mentioned and madam starts admiring him is it justifiable? U are just justifying. Cheating any man who can sleep. With his hux help can sleep with hi wifes sister sshikena

Of-course we have seen countless madams sleeping with male servants or maids,drivers.cook.gateman and even oga mechanic so its not gender specific.

However we all know except we want to pretend that its a cruel world of men where men do stuffs like philandering and get a pass mark for it while a lady does same and is ridiculed big time.

So trying to reverse the case is not the point here and any woman who see it as a good thing to sleep with the aforementioned should have a swell time but my point in this write up does not stop at just employing a lady house-help but transferring your wify duties to her.

Imagine me eating a sumptuous meal from a maid regularly and enjoying,apparently the way to a man's heart remains through his stomach

Ngokafor:
....Shush please!!...what are you even saying??.you are blessing the op yet your assertions about men are actually downright degrading,like they are some kind of unstable being with no self-control whatsoever..
..besides why dont you wait till you marry and have kids before blabbing on how you will be a super woman.Except you intend to sit your pretty bum at home waiting for him to provide for every single thing,i can assure that it is impossible to work,take care of the children and the home and attend to your husbands needs..all alone.Thats how some of will involve yourselves in tasks and situations you clearly cannot cope with only to start wailing later than you are overwhelmed..

...@topic,i am not surprised by the op's assertions,no be @Toks2008 again?..ladies really get time for the dude and his upside-down logic about women and relationships...onto the next thread biko.

[b]I'm glad that it was a lady that made the comment you responded to.

If you are married please do me a favor and save yourself the unneeded rhetorical masturbation.

If you are a man just go ahead and ask your wife to employ a sumptuous looking maid and if you are a lady just go ahead and do your hubby that favor of testing his morality and employ a sweet looking maid that will take over the key responsibilities of a wife and wait for a year or two before making comments here.

Yes its toks again and trust me, all my articles are very factual,realistic and unbiased and as i have reiterated many times that those who juxtapose my write ups with my personal life can as well believe that actors and actresses lifestyle is exactly the role they play in movies.

I am a prolific writer with a no holds bar mindset and whatever i write is MY OWN OPINION and contrary opinions should be expressed without any form of grudge or sentimentality towards any other opinion.That is the true text of intelligence.[/b]

Jahblessme:
When it's a woman you remember to label it 'adultery' abi? Yet oga sleeping with housemaid is trivialised because he cannot help himself.

Anyone who employs a child to work as a maid is wicked.No child should ever be in that position.And to now suggest using children as maids instead of a consenting adult just because a man cannot have self control is hideous.

For how long will you chase after such a man? Will you also ask your sisters and friends not to visit because d prick can't stay in a place??

Theres money to be made o jare,building a future for my children, not chasing after an irresponsible man.

If I were single and my bf makes these sort of excuses,na to dump am sharp sharp.Marry a man of like mind to avoid stories that touch.

I was told by an elderly woman that women loves lie and deceit and im begining to believe her.

Jahblessme:
Same old excuses to keep a woman slaving from dusk to dawn in the bid to keep the hot maid away..I hope the same will be said of me if I fall for the nubile muscular hardworking and handsome houseboy.

The maid is in a vulnerable position,she's there as a paid help.probably because she has no other option.Taking advantage of her and abusing your position of trust is absolutely wrong.Theres no excuse.

Anyone cleaning and cooking like ayamatanga because she wants to save a supposedly helpless man with roaming chukuchuku from himself dey long tin.You will age faster than him and he will still sleep around..

Can never have high bp or stress myself, lailai.Always endeavour to look good just incase.He chooks ,I chook my own.After that we move front and sin no more.amin

lol

well we have madams also sleeping with maids gatemen as well as drivers so its not an endemic situation to guys.

the shook i shook part got me wandering because commiting adultery is not the best revenge on a randy hubby