₦airaland Forum

ronald4lif:
Since you can't have sex with a lady you can't marry I take it that the pregnancy factor won't be an issue should it occur.

For someone like yourself who can be loyal to one girlfriend and indulges with her only they can have unprotected sex hoping that she's equally faithful. But not the case for a guy who engages in flings once in a while. Unprotected sex is never an option to such people, even with their main girlfriend's.

The thing is, there would always be a risk factor to sex. Whether unprotected with one loyal girlfriend or protected with more than one woman. The safest way is abstinence. The idea of which is more risky or not is debatable. And one can never be too certain of the faithfulness of a partner to the extend of taking the risk of having unprotected sex with them. Marriage is the only exception for me to indulge in unprotected sex, faithful partner or not.

The embolden is why i don't use condom because i don't do causal sex. Its either i do it with a lady i would marry,my wife or abstain. I hate casual sex with every drop of fluid in me.

I can't recount how many casual sex i have turned down because i don't see these ladies as the type i can marry. Its about principle.

misspicy:
To an extent a condom is really a life saver,because half a bread is better than none,meaning a little level of protection is better than none as long as people have failed to see the effect of having multiple sex partners,to some guys it shows their sexual power

Yea i totally agree that it reduces the risk of infection but i believe to the old school of taught that believes in sexual chastity even when we know that a chaste partner can contract the infection from a randy partner but honestly i think its foolish to use a condom to commit fornication because its going to be double wahala. you no enjoy am and na sin against GOD lol!

But i wil not in anyway use a condom for sex.NEVER not even for a guy who is addicted to MA so wats the use of using condom sef.

ronald4lif:
Risky one. This means you're placing your life in someone's else hands. Don't you think is more risky to contract the virus by having unprotected sex with one supposedly faithful partner than with condom with more than one girlfriend?

I don't keep girlfriends dude. I go for a lady and take the risk.

You can't run from risking sex with one partner because you must marry one day.
I don't even do a lady i don't see myself marrying.

misspicy:
Yes....and u would be shocked that many still dont use condom at all,some men be feeling like,kingkong....

Lets face it, using a condom is like licking a candy with the wrapper.Do you feel the taste?

The problem is when a guy or lady keeps different sexual partners thinking using a condom is a big life saver.

@BUTCHCASSIDY


And unfortunately people tag me as too picky because i always want to go for a chic that will not make me fantasize about another girl.

The best thing is for a man to go for a lady who is physically and sexually appealing to his eyes then stick to only her and do the hell outta her in marriage tho.

misspicy:
Ok,i know this from time immemorial buh that pic...lol

Best way to illustrate without crossing the line .

It will amaze you that many have never taught about this.

Mznaett:
Hmmm,,that's the hardest truth ever

This is why i don't do casuals and funny enough will never use a condom because

1.It does not guaranty real pleasure

2.It does not really prevent HIV

So i would rather stick to one hot partner and hope that she does not bring me one.

Ricswagger:
Na one innocent guy go come marry her o,God help us

This is why i wrote article about paying crazy high bride price on some ladies.

passionate88:
Na now u know?

I have known this long ago and i have always preached it but there is no harm letting many other people who are ignorant know abi no be so?

In-fact i don't use condom to make love as i prefer to remain faithful to one woman and hopes she no go out go carry am come.

I know this topic will shock many people who believe in the propaganda that the use of condom is a formidable prevention against HIV but unfortunately,using a condom does not prevent you from contracting HIV but only reduces the chance of contracting it.

Now read this and i doubt if you will ever read this anywhere else because the condom industry is a huge one and facts like this may not be widely disseminated but here i give it to you to ponder over.


-Human immunodeficient Virus(HIV) is very virulent and can pass through through unnoticeable and painless skin abrasion on the penile shaft as well as the vaginal region.

-The viral load is present in cervico-vaginal fluid and of-course in the blood.

-We will agree that in most cases if not all,the condom no matter how carefully worn still exposes some part of the penile shaft and this is where the problem lies because in most cases,the vaginal secretions come in contact with this exposed region of the shaft.

-This means an automatic entry of the virus from the vaginal fluid into the man especially when there are some abrasions on the penile skin which of-course is so delicate and easily bruised.

-If the man also has the virus and he happens to have any form of abrasion on the penile shaft then the woman can easily contract the virus once the Unclad part of his shaft touches the walls of the vaginal.

This is just a simple illustration to show that condoms are no guarantee prevention against HIV.

Staying faithful to one sexual partner who is HIV negative and will not be silly enough to indulge in careless sexual act with an infected individual remains the best way to prevent HIV.

The bottom line is that no one is really safe and we all stand the risk of contracting it as the Virus has a transient period between when it is contracted and when it can be detected in the blood so you may meet someone who is tested negative today and later may test positive.

GOD HELP US.

hemartins:
I don't like that kind of game at all. very risky.

Odika very risky

ennon92:
The Op's view really changed my perception on the said subject matter.
A successful relationship must have metamorphosized from friendship.

honestly its better to just marry a friend.

WafiJoe:
Dude in as much as I like your post, I don't like it when people try to BEND the scripture to any shape to suit their talks/sermon. Here is an NIV translation of the same scripture below:

Proverbs 30:18-19 New International Version (NIV)

18 “There are three things that are too amazing for me,
four that I do not understand:
19 the way of an eagle in the sky,
the way of a snake on a rock,
the way of a ship on the high seas,
and the way of a man with a young woman.

You and I knows that at as the time of old, a young lady is mostly call a maid(en), like we call young girls; "chick" today. So please do not abuse the bible.

I think we should stop this forth and back arguments over the use of biblical words.

A maid in the bible means a young woman, it could also mean a virgin but the bottom line is that it means one thing (lady/girl

I think i get where these arguments are coming from, you all think i actually quoted that verse to buttress the hideous act but you all are wrong and infact i just realized i should have left that place as a woman or young woman as some versions put it but i used the king james version(check it) while you all are quoting another version and bothering me over a no issue.

I guess i would have used this quotation sef that best fits into my write up.

Proverbs 30:21-23
:21Under three things the earth quakes, And under four, it cannot bear up: 22Under a slave when he becomes king, And a fool when he is satisfied with food, 23Under an unloved woman when she gets a husband, And a maidservant when she supplants her mistress.

This life is meaningless,a chase after the wind.

SexyStrawberry:
U know, everyone have their lives to live, the most important thing in this life is to have a humble beginning, I am happy for u, I am not a full house wife, I am not even married yet, but no matter what career I choose in life, I am going to make sure that it doesn't come in BTW me n my family, I will make sure it doesn't keep me away from my kids, I mean I will make sure I won't be a stranger to my kids, when I am married, there are lots of things I could do to make me have time for my family, presently, I am my own boss, and I am doing well in my business, what I am trying to say is, for me, anything that will keep me away from my husband for long period of time, I'll cut it off, I must be around my kids a lot and make sure I cook their meals myself with my very own hands, feed my husband and give him great sex *winks* I can do all these and still be a big business independent woman.
I give kudos to u married female bankers sha, I ain't gonna be no fucking banker when I am married, it best fits for single girls who have no husband to come back home to, if I am a banker and I get married, I QUIT! My family comes first biko.

You keep blowing my mind and i might consider making a move on you and even if you refuse i believe you are worth the stress. You sound so mature and reasonable.

wakacome:
@Op how old are you??your point is foolish,childish and pathetic.....if u know u truly feel that employing a full grown maid is the problem then employ a male maid now ...or houseboys no dey??my point is a married man that sleeps with another woman that is not his wife is pathetic and we should condemn it and not try to justify nonsense....ok what about men that slept with their daughter??na the wife u go still blame??what about men that sleeps with small small girls wey never even get bre*ast...na the wife u go still blame abi??ode......or u know dey hear news......

Do not try to justify a man acting like a dog and with no self-control by sleeping with his maid all in the name of temptation.....nonsense...so many kids on Nairaland these days.......am sure if you hear a news that a woman slept with the houseboy you will be quick to call her dog,slut and several names but now you are trying to justify a man sleeping with his maid just because your foolishness and dumb upbringing made you to think men are permitted to act like a dog abi??while women should keep their body....fool!!!!

You see why i had always opined that Seun introduces a question and answer stage to ascertain the psycological state of people before they join nairaland.

I read this unwarranted sarcasm many times and i just realized that this ranter just rewrote exactly the message in the write up.

Whoever you are,dont feel cool that im quoting you cos i usually ignore posts like this.

Im only quoting you as a case study. calm down biko,your post is really an embarassment to you and me as well as intelllectually sound people reading this.

Imbibe the reading culture,learn to read and assimilate rather than ...

LadyFiona:
I won't lie here. It makes you feel and look gooood that you're being admired but acting on that is where problems lies, especially when you have someone that will be hurt in the process of actualising your obsessions. What I am mean is that it goes both ways for both men and women it is not exclusive to men, Once you got the fond glances/attentions/ flattering and the works from an admirer/coworker that you are not getting from your significant other, you fall flat if you are weak, unfaithful, amoral and a nincompoop.

Fiona this is not about sermon on the mount.

Every married people who have experienced what im implying have all corroborated my stand view.

I practically look away from the rethorical online masturbations of some immature folks here with their name calling and hateful words because that does not change anything.

All the men who have overcome this did same thing by sending the maid away.

My writeups are deep and factual and i will be fooling myself expecting teenagers or the imature at heart to catch the drift.

IF A WIFE ABANDONS HER KITCHEN FOR A MAID THEN SHE SHOULD AS WELL MARRY THE MAID FOR HER HUSBAND.

daimlerbenz:
It's not the same bro. The maid there in the Bible refers not to househelp. Don't equate both.

Some people can argue o.kai

Are maids not females? or girls? which one be house help wey you join?

man slave
male servant
gate man

all na man

some versions use girl
some maids
and some in the next verses even spelt it out so we are on same page bro.

Adeboyefa:
Some men rape babies and employing underaged children is child abuse.

BETTER OPTIONS

1.Employ a married woman for day duty only.

2. Better still,do the chores yourself when your children are small and start training them at age 10. Even boys must learn to cook or they will have to patronise expensive or dirty eateries or marry just any woman when they leave home.



That's why a wife should have a cordial relationship with her in-laws.

Intelligent point.

DaGeneral:
If truly i love my wife and fear God then irrespective of what my maid does or what my wife does not do, should not be an excuse to LIGHT my maid,i mean if i LIGHT my maid i did because i wanted to LIGHT her and a wife who truly loves her man,understands her role and fear God should draw the line as to what the maid should do..It irritates me sometimes when people talk about this temptation in this context,nothing just happens, A man the bible says is tempted when he is drawn after his OWN lust..C'mon guys its high time men start taking responsibilities for their actions rather than keep blaming the devil who is chilling with his hot ORIJIN due to absence of freezer where he is.

I love that part..a woman who truly loves her man understands her role.

Good

LadyFiona:
[/b] Good. Everybody likes or tends to love those who are exceptionally good or care for them. But telling me that men and women are wired differently when it comes to that response is balderdash.

There is no justification to being a sexual nuisance and an individual with lack of self control and self esteem.

As i wrote,you cant understand.i will only advice you not to tempt that innocent man.

its one thing for a decent guy to go to work and subdue temptations from ladies out there and its a different ball game to come home everyday to meet a more dangerous temptation expecially the one that takes care of his tommy.

im surprised you are having issues with this.

tete7000:
Op quoted a scripture to wrongfully give credence to man's lustfulness and his penchant for adultery . Has he not read in the same scripture that 'when a man is born again old things have passed away and all things have become new - 2Cor. 5:17' . We can't claim to know God and still be justifiably allowing our passion to rule us. St. Paul condemned sexual immorality and emphasises that self control is the gift of the holy spirit when he wrote in Galatians 5:19-23
'The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery ; 20 idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions 21 and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.

22  But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. '

The word of God cannot and must not be used to justify evil. Evil irrespective of why we do it remain evil and can never find justification in the word of God for the same word of God says all evil doers shall be brought to condemnation. A lewd man is just a lewd man and it becomes very repugnant when we quote scripture out of context to justify lewdness. That part of the scripture quoted is simply expressing how baffling it is to see two people who have never known each other fall so much in love that they become inseparable. It doesn't support adultery in anyway. It does not justify a man who left his wife he claims to love to sleep with her maid and thus bring her wife to disrepute. Adultery is and remains a grave and mortal sin.

Ride on pastor preach it.

Oga Ade e don tey wey dem don dey preach say fornication na sin but has it stopped some people from doing it or will it stop even you from falling as an imperfect human?

Oga i don give my life to christ 27years ago and i know that while preaching against sexual sin will help,i also believe that we should flee just as the bible admonishes us so lets leave preaching for now and not take steps that will lead us to temptation.

jnrbayano:
You see why I type very little and straight to the point?

I never justify lack of self-control. The Op too. I only said that a lady who is voluptuous is already sexually attracting.

I also suggested that a wife should not relegate her duties such as cooking for her husband, serving the food to her husband dressing the bed etc to her housemaid the time I said "employing another helper (woman)"

I pointed out what a wise wife does. She prays for her husband and mitigate temptation from the family.

Her foolish counterparts rather bring hell (temptation etc) to their homes.

Good morning.

Why stress yourself reiterating?

Im not sorry to say this but only very few Nigeria ladies have sound IQ and when you read contrary opinions of this few,you will doff your hat for them

Every one castigating this factual write up have towed same line and i realized that no single one of them comprehended but were just focussed on making unwarranted sarcastic remarks but thats the fun though.

LadyFiona:
Na!!!, I am not deceiving myself. The bunch of the maids do not seduce but the rabid animals seduces them when madam happens not to be around. It is on rare cases that maids seduces the boss. So my examples still stands.

Its not about who seduces who.

There was a time an employee of my ex was giving me green light,she will wink at me at several occasions but God forbid i stoop that low but i also guess it was easier for me because she does not stay in same house.

These maids need not seduce you at all because there is no greater seduction than cooking delicious meals for you,making your bed,and generally caring for you even better than the career driven madam.

Gemc3:
Admiring her in what manner? Sexual or just admiring her for her good work (like ur boss would admire you for being a wonderful employee)

No matter how hard you try,you are not just capable of understanding this because as a lady,your brain is not wired like mine so i honestly dont know how to explain.

wait..do you think a man just wakes up and starts loving you? yes those curves or molds could catch his attention but it is the care you show that ignites that bond towards you.

how can a man eat a maid food,finds it delicious and not love her?

the elders were spot on when they said the way to a man s heart is tru his stomach.

Asking a maid to cook your husband food is tantamount to your hubby asking a man to scrw you..hard to comprehend shey?

if any lady gives up cooking of her husband meal to a maid,she had better give her to the husband as second wife.

If ladies cant understand this then i cant help beyond this.

Aude:
Can you elaborate more on why you consider your last relationship to have been a scam affair? Why I am asking is you were with the girl for 12years and you didn't get married to her. What held you back? I know of a relationship where the girl walked away after five years because among other things the guy showed no signs of wanting to commit to her. If you ask the guy why they broke up he will say the girl wasn't sincere, whereas the girl maintains she pulled the plug on the relationship because she felt if he couldn't commit to her then it meant he was looking for something more.
I have always found it interesting the way females and males have a different opinion of why things ended.

That is a topic for another day.

I only pity those who dont ask questions and make findings about the previous affairs of whoever they want to commit our hearts to but will foolishly believe whatever they are told all because of initial gragra.

sfx9ja:
"There are three things that are too amazing for me, four that I do not understand:The way of an eagle in the sky, The way of a serpent on a rock, The way of a ship in the middle of the sea, And the way of a man with a maid" Proverbs 30:18-19.

Nice write up op. But u clearly misunderstood the bible here. That phrase translates to the ways of a man with a girl.

lol..

its the same bro lady,girl,woman,girl servant...a maid no be man nah habba.

drnoel:
Ten thousands of billion of Billions Blistering Barnacles and thundering typhoons of likes to u sir. A word is enof 4 the wise.

Better take cover because some ladies may come for your head.

juanmiguel:
that verse of d bible was actually refering to a man and a woman falling in love. It says d fourth one is 'the way of a man with a maiden' The op shud v even quoted from vs 21 to 23, dats where the bible talks abt a servant woman that takes the place of her mistress and its one of the four things that the earth itself cannot tolerate.

You dont mean it. So e don dey happen since time memorial.

Pain:
This thread is laced in so much denials of a common reality. My advice to families: Avoid all occasions of temptation. Here are some options:

1. Employ an older unattractive but hygienic maid.

2. Employ a matured part time maid and bridge the gap with live in relations preferably from the man's side if this is possible.

3. Become a full time house wife of home hussie.

I don't have definitely statistics but most men will easily be tempted by a young and good looking house maid.

Period.

Good advice.