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ileobatojo: Taught by grandmaster Toks2008. All in favor....?

I believe we are all adults here so get this fact straight.

If you make love to a lady and she does not gush out and i mean real squirting then you need to do serious home work and it does not take a 12inch man to do this. its about specific positions and lots of pre-intimacy in the right places.

Proper cunnilingus, Finger stimulation of G spot, and so much more that i cant list here.

yoddy01: Then if you have feelings, you are one of the lucky few. Most women do not even know that an orga sm is. Size does not matter dear. If you have a man with extra long thing, you will get poked in the wrong places. I have female friends that have confessed this to me. You will get poked near your womb and it is very painful. I have friends who's spouses do ot like sex because of this issue. Get your facts right

She really needs to get her facts right. All i hear most ladies say to me is easy, gently until i learnt that it is not about long thing but ability to use what you have.

All these ladies you se in porn movies are stimulated with drugs so anything goes but in real life situation, a 5inch man will do just right if he understands the positions to take in order to stimulate the G spot which is the most essential and you know what, GOD has perfectly located this Vital spot just about 3 inches from the opening. You need to locate your spouse's and believe me, you will have a new story to tell. Forget this long thing story.

yellowpawpaw: No psychology here.it matters a lot.can u answer this for me. Why do most men run around yuonger gals citing tighter v when d wife's own must hv expanded from givin birth? Why r drugs for p extension sellin in millions?
Leave matter pls. I can't imagine marryin a man whose d is not compatible with my v.na misery abeg

Because they are stupid and ignorant. simple

yoddy01: It is obvious some one missed biology class. The extra long and big things poke women in all the wrong places. If you took your biology class you would realize that the percentage of women who orgas#m from v#aginal sex only is very slim, because the female organ is dead inside, all the nerve endings are in the clitori#S. Most men do not even touch it, they think its by poking. It is only if your woman's G-spo t is prominent that she can enjoy just poking. Men enjoy s*ex more because of the way the male organ is made. If you had a lot of experience, you would know women fake moans most of the time.

Please educate some people here and evn the ladies tat believe they get carried away with large guns definitely know nada about their physiology.

yellowpawpaw: No, u can never be in pain while making lv unless there is an infection or ur gun's head very crooked (really bent)in which case u r hittin d wall of d v but its not that painful either.
Size do matter to women o! It has destroyed a lot of marriage bro,take it from me

Im surprised this is coming from a lady. You definitely can feel serious pain if you don't choose the right position with a real endowed man.

For the records, size matters i know but it seems many men dont realise that even with a 12 inch, a woman may not get satisfaction as she does with a 5inch if the later understands where what to do. Plain English

[quote author=baby_123]

You are clearly in your own world and make up things as you go. Learn this today, size matters and women love the PLEASURE of sex. Not PAIN. When they MOAN, they are not in PAIN. They are experiencing PLEASURE! Women love and want se*x just as much as men. A hole that can pass out a baby can take any size. . As long as there are no health issues, the sex is not terrible or pretense is not involved. Are you truly married[/quote]Young man or woman, size does matter don't get me wrong please but a man of 5inch can satisfy a woman even better than a 12 inch man if he knows what to do and how to stimulate her erogenous zones..

You seem not to understand my standpoint as shown by the way you respond to my posts asking me if im married and explaining poo to me about a woman moaning. Sorry , i taught the moan was a laughter.

A lady does not value extra jagumo over matters of the heart so try and be matured to get the angle am coming from.

How many ladies see the size of a man's gun before flowing with him?

[quote author=money-hungry ]^^^ EXTRA-TERESTIAL-JAGUMO. wow!
*clapping heavily*
you sound like a very intelligent boy with a vast knowledge of complex vocabularies.[/quote]forget story, a woman does not need any extra jagumo to enjoy intimacy.

before i met my wife i have had vast experience with many ladies and i can tell you this fact. Many of them feel more pain than pleasure and GOD in his infinite wisdom has made it possible that even a man with 5inc can make a woman happy in bed.

I dont want to go back into the bedmatics of how to please a woman but believe me, its not about the size as believed by some men or women, its all psychology.

There are even more important things that turn a lady on than the guns in between men's legs.

[quote author=baby_123]You make a big mistake if you think people don't move on after being married. Some people tolerate and when tired they just disappear and never look back. They go and find hapiness. Not everyone can endure for a lifetime, and people that get divorced do move on. Getting a divorce is an option in a marriage for a reason. People cite incompatability, adultery and other valid reasons. So such a thing is not new. If you think that when someone is married means they cannot leave, so you can now act or do what you like, then you just may be surprised. If you love her and you know her complaints are valid after thinking throughly about it, then work on yourself. If she tells you she wants to see what is out there, then let her go.[/quote]What is your idea of moving on? Leaving your home for months yet still having all your stuffs in tere? Knowing you are legally married yet no divorce process initiated.

You see why i say she is confused.

Why i decide to give her time is because she is worth waiting for irrespective of what is going on. She has been loyal, decent and very caring all these years i have known her, we have lived in great happiness despite all she is complaining of now.

But you see, anyone can get carried away without any cogent reason, we are all human. And when we get carried away, we tend to attach a reason to it.

I still respect her far more than any other lady i have known for her good virtues but this sudden change is too sudden to judge her so as i wrote before, irrespective of all that went down, i will wait just a little more.

If she comes back, fine and if she doesn't all well and good.

This is what i have been asking the OP to do, weigh the past and judge her based on that and not on the recent mistake she made.

And this may sound stupid but i will advice the OP to mostly follow advice from married people on this thread. It is not just about writing grammar but really understanding the institution called marriage and only the married ones can truly understand whats all about.

[quote author=baby_123]With the way you talk and write about it, it tells me you absolutely see no faults in yourself. You don't compromise and you don't listen. No one is perfect. If your spouse is complaining about something about you, which you as a rational adult know its a flaw. Work on it. Don't talk down on her to build up yourself. She is telling you to change, you are still saying she is confused and frustrated. Are you trying to say as an adult and a woman she doesn't know what she wants? Doesn't she have a right to demand happiness? She is right that if you both had kids, she may have endured or ignored. Now that you don't, she has a choice to move on and start over. We are here in life to constantly grow as human beings. If you decide you want to be stagnant, you may end up affecting all aspects of your life with such an attitude. Saying a woman who is TTC is frustrated, is wrong. You should not say such a thing about your wife outside. Work on how you talk, and how you see her. She is your partner, your other half. If someone talked to you like that or dismissed your concerns in such a manner, how long would you endure[/quote]There are many things i cant write here for reasons best known to me. I am a rationale adult. Forget sentiments, courtship is a period when two lovers weigh things and decide to either move on or continue with each other.

We are married for crying out loud and not just lovers so all that moving on shit is not applicable in marriage especially not in a case like ours which is not life and death.

She got carried away simple. It is totally insane for any married man or woman to suddenly say what she feels for her husband or wife was never love for 12 years but pity. so friend just believe me when i say she is confused for now. She is human so let me give her time to re evaluate things.

[quote author=baby_123]You married a virgin or was her one and only. I wonder why men think women they marry as virgin's won't have sexual thoughts. Loool, she would want to know what is outside and I capable of wanting to experiment. And will keep wondering if there is better. About being incompatible, maybe you need to ask her what is wrong and work on yourself. It may not be her, it just may be you not looking in the mirror and working on your flaws. We should all strive to be a work in progress. Maybe she got tired of 12yrs of the same bull.[/quote]Exactly what she said. Got tired tolerating but wait a second. What exactly is she tolerating for 12 years that she suddenly cant tolerate any longer? Please be real. she is either carried away or totally confused.

All i know, for the sake of peace and not love because i no longer believe in that i will be patient for a little longer and see what happens.

I have no case of adultery against her for now so i cant start talking about divorce. i just assume she is totally derailed for now.

She is human and even if she gets carried away, she can always retrace her steps if she is meant to be mine.

WhyMe222: Please my brother I want ask. Is/Are there no issues (Child/Children) in the marriage? Could it be the reason why she wants to up and leave citing incompatibility?

This is one area i tried not to discuss but since you ask i will spill it out.

I got her pregnant when she was 19 and the pregnancy was aborted. I took responsibility for that even i was not keen on abortion but her older sis insisted and i guess her reasons was clear then, she has similar experience and the guy later dumped her and left her as a single mother and for several reasons she gave.

Now she is 30 and we are married but no child yet. She seem to be the problem due to irregular circle and so on but i refused to try another lady till date because i love her and still believe the worst we can do is ivf if we wait some more time without result.

But crazy enough she was saying she would have stayed and tolerated the incompatibility if there was a child between us and this got me wondering how shallow women can be.

She claims she is not leaving because there is no child but she would have stayed if there is a child between us so you can see how confused she is.


The bottom line is that she is confused, frustrated and totally disillusioned and that's why im having this Patience but it wont be for long before i sincerely move on.

I am almost 40 and i don't think i will let any lady bring stagnancy into my life.

I have asked her to make up her mind and either retrace her steps or come pack her stuffs from my place to allow another lady flow with me without fear.

hajieazi: hmmmmm.... how l wish more people can be bold enough to come out and tell the world the issues behind the cloud.
Honestly, l have seen it all. THE TRUTH IS THAT I SEE VIRTUALLY EVERY MARRIED WOMEN AS IRRESPONSIBLE. Over 70% of married women today cheat on their husband. My experiences over the years and recent encounter and troubles with women is an eye opener to the true reality that the situation is really bad. The more reason why l don't attend wedding ceremony again. I consider it as a waste of time..
I did management consultancy service for an hotel in the heart of Lagos, believe you me, the ratio of women that patronises the hotel is 7 married women to 3 singles. The biggest shocker was that of the wife of a church pastor well known to me, a women l consider as a role model.
Women have since lost their place in my heart.For the single guys out there, ohhhhhhhh, i pity you. I no longer value marriage, even though am married. I will rather concentrate on things that makes me happy all day...watch football, discuss economic, political and business stuff, read papers, listen to local and international news, play solid music and enjoy myself with delicious African and continental dishes.

My advise to you sir,is to FORGIVE HER, make yourself happy,try as much as possible to move on, l tell you, getting another wife is as good as keeping what you have now. THEY'RE ALL THE SAME. It is not possible for you to spend 1000 years on earth, use the little time you have to THINK POSITIVELY,ENJOY YOURSELF AND BE CLOSE TO GOD. He will guide you to the right path, the path of success, peace of mind and everlasting joy. I know how you feel my brother.

Nice one and we are on the am page i guess.

I have lost my zeal for this thing called marriage. For me, i have decided to approach it in a way that nothing will ever surprise me.

If a lady can tell me she is disconnected from me after 12 years of been together DESPITE MY 100% LOYALTY TO HER and not that she caught me cheating but because of crazy reasons of incompatibility a if i have been pretending all these years then what is marriage when there is no tolerance.

It is ok to get married and procreate but believe me IT SUCKS.

WhyMe222: Sincerely my brother. This was my foremost position but wifey said she cannot stay married to me while I bring in another woman. She even said she can't afford to share me. Ain't that laughable? She is just lucky I am the man I am. Age does really make us wiser.

Wahala dey o. That goes to show that she still loves you sincerely.

Nevertheless, my stand is NO DIVORCE. And marrying another lady sef can be suicidal judging from the movies we watch. Na real wahala.

These ladies can be bunch of headaches. My wife left for her sis place for 4 months and still counting yet all her properties are still in my home. Asked her to come pack them she refused and i sometimes wonder how some ladies act like ogbanjes.

Wooing a lady for the sole aim of intimacy is not proper,and im scared to start another serious affair knowing the danger involved because ladies are wiser and more desperate thee days yet she is taking things for granted just like your wife did and made that mistake yet she cant share you.

The moment i get a new lady,im almost certain she may decide to come back then wahala starts and i will be at the receiving end.

Why are some ladies like this?

egariyi: I will advise you against divorce/separation. its never the best option especially when threat to life is not involved. Have you considered discussing the reasons why your wife did what she did. May be just may be you may not have been satisfying her sexually. Perhaps, you may be the reason!! There is always a two side to a coin. Also, the Holy Book admonishes us to forgive our offenders 70 x 70 in a day! Have you considered how many women are still married today inspite of the fact that their men are frolicking about? some even produced kids outside wedlock yet the woman 'forgave' d man and remained? Please for the sake of that child, I will strongly advise that you consider the option of 'forgiving her completely from your heart' and also discussing her sexual needs with her. I recommend you to read a book called "the total man". May God guide you in your decision and grant you peace of mind.

I wonder how men even see women. Yes a woman have no excuse for committing adultery but we must understand that they are equally human and prone to mistakes.

All i will advice is for the man to let her remain with him. Whether he wants to marry another woman or not, don't divorce her. Shikena

WhyMe222: I thank you all and I pray when it is eventually over, God will give me a woman who will see the good man in me and hold sacred her vow, see herself as the mother of the house, make a concerted effort to be the "virtuous woman" to me as described in the bible.

I appreciate you all.

Ok, go ahead since your mind is made up but what follows?

1. Start fornicating with any girl that catches your fancy.
2. Probably get married to another lady that may be worse than your wife.


Let me even tell you this fact many guys don't know. Giving up your wife to another man is a sign of weakness. Adultery or no adultery.

So let me be frank with you and i believe this will solve the situation. Let her stay and don't give her up but you can still go ahead and marry another lady that will give you a clean start.Let her be the one to walk away if you are resolute that you cant stay with her any longer but save yourself the stress of divorce.

Some may see this advice as stupid but its better than divorce.

Just like i have told my wife that i will not divorce her and if she stays away too long and i venture into another affair then i will be marrying two wives because i will never let go of the new lady even if she ever comes back. So let your wife pay that price for cheating on you rather than go through the stress of divorce.

I wish you well.

Danfo: Toks, I wish you would lay out the details of your issues with your wife and let my egregore analyse it for you.At the moment you are giving incoherent snippets of your situtaion to counsel the brother OP, and I think this is insufficient in my view.

Nothing much, Sh is a pisean lady and she is only acting out her characteristics. She needs time to reevaluate her feelings for me whether married or not, there are moments of confusion in any affair.

I want to give her time. If she truly loves me, she will come back and if not i move on. simple.

Let's tell each other the truth.

Anybody can fall into intimate sin. Its about guiding your heart and knowing your limits.

This is why i counsel unmarried people to try their best in making sure they marry their choice. This is the first step to preventing intimate sins.

I wrote yesterday that i have never sen the unclothedness of another lady for the past 12yrs since i met my wife and later married her. You know why? The fear of GOD and also because she is my choice talking about physical attributes.

A lady once told me that if she marries a fair complexion man, she is bound to commit adultery. Cray but sincere.

If you are a man that love a big bosom lady then try never to settle for less and if you love a shapely lady then go for just that so that you will not have reason to lust after another lady out there except you are possessed with the spirit of lust.

Same goes for women, there are specifics that each woman wants in her man but because women cant be too picky because of time factor, they can at least discuss with their man telling him how they want to be loved, touched and treated. Failure to do this may result in infidelity.

It may just be a compliment that your wife got from the man that made her gel for him. Believe me, if another man appreciates your wife's beauty more than you then you are in big trouble. If another man becomes more caring to your wife then wahala dey. She simply gets carried away and the end result is adultery.

My problem with my wife started when i stumbled across a chat conversation she was having with a male friend and i smashed the android phone i got her.

She told me bluntly that i was not giving her time but always with my computer so she took solace in chatting with another man that has time for her and that issue dragged till this moment.

So lets be vigilant and prevent this messy situation. Remember, all women are monogamous in nature but most times, we men push them out.

Danfo: OP,

If you can still say the above with the amount of quality advice people have given you so far, then it is clear that you are not a realist, and only your un-emotional self can see clearly enough to reach a sensible decision that will be good for you and all concerned in the long term.

Let me help you to understand using extracts and apt deductions from your initial post and one subsequent comment:

1. ‘I found out my wife was having an affair with her senior colleague in the office who also doubles as a family friend. (Deduction: She can kill you without much thought or regret if situation demands it)

2. The subject of the mail that excited my curiosity. The subject says "Ifemi" which in Yoruba means "My Love".
(Deduction: She does not love you one bit. The sex with the ‘family friend’ was more than sex for it has love as a component. Your discovery of the affair cannot erase that love that easily)

3. What is more disturbing is that they were having unprotected sex while my baby was still bosom feeding (no wonder my smart girl stopped suckling at 5 months).
(Deduction: She values the illicit affair more than any physical, spiritual impact it might have on her daughter. If her newly-born daughter’s health could not inhibit the affair, then you stand very little chance of doing so. Especially if she can sleep with him while still fresh from childbirth, then you safely assume that he was sleeping with her while she was pregnant with your ‘adorable daughter’. Sad but true.)

4. Our marriage will be 4 years in a couple of month’s time and is blessed with an adorable daughter.
(Deduction: Yes you are right it appears the innocent little girl is the only blessed thing about the union, and even that blessedness has been tainted by the circumstances during her pregnancy and immediately after. Imagine a child in the womb of a woman having sex with a family friend. That action has some deep spiritual connotation I can’t even start explaining here)

5. They both claimed it was a mistake. While I am battling to believe them, it will be of interest to note that, they didn't go to bed just once which nullifies the claim of it being a mistake. And it will be foolhardy for anyone to believe that. One cannot make a mistake twice. The second time usually is a choice that is dully premeditated.
(Deduction: This shows you as a wimp and a laughing stock to both of them. I will be willing to bet they have slept with each other again since your so called ‘discovery’)

6. Funny enough, because I didn't want the news to go ballistics, I covered up for them when the man's wife stumbled on their BBM chat too and stormed my house with the man spoiling for war.
(Deduction: This shows you as a wimp and a laughing stock to both of them. I will be willing to bet they have slept with each other again since your so called ‘discovery’. You are a strange one for sure!)


7. My wife has it all; beauty and brains. Like the few people both male and female will say when they see her picture either on my phone or ipad "Guy, you carry eye enter wife market".
(Deduction: You are infatuated with her and very much afraid to lose her because you have low self esteem and opinion of your worth. You have concluded that you may not find her type of beauty and ‘intelligence’ again. And this is why you even refuse to tell any family including the family friends’ wife, because even you know they will drive her away without hesitation. Bro, you are on dangerous ground because you are dealing with an intelligent mind that has no morals or inhibitions. You are dealing with a knowledgeable mind without character. Tread carefully bro!

Also remember the Bible says: Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.

I conclude by saying that, do not allow emotion or even logic to rule you, rather let barefaced naked truth and self-preservation guide your decisions so you may remain safe to live out your life happily. If you think you can ever trust her again, or that somehow the memory of the betrayal will fade away then the joke is certainly on you bro, because the mind never ever forget.Indeed. The mind of man doesn't do FORGET.If it happened your mind will recollect it, unless you have amnesia, which is another line of topic entirely.

Again, I say all the best to you!

CHAI! You are mean. See analysis. Bro all you wrote make sense but not too impossible to pardon.

This sex thing sef is like a feeling that once gratified becomes non and void habba!

My point is clear, if you check the past and you believe she is worth forgiving then do just that.

Nothing will ever make me give up my wife for another man simply because she got intimate with another man, maybe for 4 months when i have been having sweet moments with her for years.

So i should give her up to that man to have her permanently abi?

OP if you love your wife and she is willing to sincerely repent then forgive her haha na wetin? We all have turned divorce to two for one naira.Whether Adultery or not, The word of GOD says in Malachi 2:16 "For I hate divorce!" says the LORD, the God of Israel.To divorce your wife is to overwhelm her with cruelty," says the LORD of Heaven's Armies. "So guard your heart; do not be unfaithful to your wife.".

This is a painful story no doubt but protect your wife and protect your marriage. Your wife is also your daughter, your sister and your friend. Let love override your anger.

OP if i may ask; what type of marriage did you have? If its court marriage then im happy because the divorce may not happen after-all if you consider the process involved.


I had a court wedding.When my wife left, things got so messy that she wanted to file for divorce and she was told to pay 150k to start the process and that one really fell her hand.

Unfortunately you cant marry another person if you don't dissolve the first one in a competent court of law except you dare the laws of the land and get lucky that your spouse did not sue you. Its 5/10 yrs imprisonment.

But if you had any other type of marriage then it may be just as easy to divorce her as changing your mind.

But please and please, forgive her o,i keep telling you, no guarantee that the next lady will not sleep with your entire friends.

AVECDEO: MAY THE BLOOD OF JESUS MIRACLOUSLY REPLACE THE BAD BLOOD TO GIVE YOU PERFECT HEALTH AND MAY THE BALM OF GILEAD SOOTH THE PAIN AND MAKE YOU WHOLE IN JESUS NAME.(AMEN).bE HEALED BROTHER.

I BELIEVE IN THE POWER OF HEALING THROUGH JESUS.HE MUST NEVER LOSE FAITH.NEVER

O.M.G! This cancer of the blood is dangerous. This guy needs a miracle to make it. It killed a neighbor of mine after so many months of struggling he became so lean and the day he gave up i cried.

He was an international footballer and he had to be flown back home. VERY DANGEROUS TYPE OF CANCER.

Believe in GOD dearie, with him, nothing is impossible.

omo t: you are actually confused.... Read ur Bible with open heart

ok. noted

Danfo: OP,

Having examined all your comments thus far, I can tell you from John Street that she was not prepared to stop the infidelity, if not that you found out unexpectedly.

The implication of the above statement is that SHE WILL DO IT AGAIN under permitting circumstances.Take it or leave it alone.

The call is definitely yours bro... but know that if she stays SHE WILL DO IT AGAIN.

Best wishes to you in arriving at a wise decision on this very sensitive matter.

On the final note, i believe you should give her the benefit of doubt and forgive her. If she does it again then get a pos and make it a public disgrace but for now please forgive her if you love her and if she is truly sorry.

emiye: The situation is different, the bible accepts divorce in case of sexual immorality.

I recommend divorce for the OP not necessarily jst because his wife cheated on him, but the strings of circumstances surrounding the situation.

he is not happy with the wife for goodness sake,the lady also has emotional needs, they are now two strangers living together, and it wont get better if they continue to stay together. A temporary or permanent breakup is the way forward

ok sir. Noted

emiye: That is the fallacy some people operate with. I have seen an unmarried kid sister save her elders sisters marriage (a long story i wont go in to). Life is not simply black and white. Always open your mind to learn.

I am sure this kid sister did not advice divorce.

emiye: I am emiye and single.

Btw, who be you? i almost asked you if you are happily married.

I have made my point, i am certain the OP can not heal without separation, if at all he wants to keep his relationship

@Toks2008, i read your story, i wish you the best,your wife seems smart by separating from you for now, i will advice you cut communication with her temporarily, stop unsettling her with your calls and FB msgs, abscence makes the heart grow fonder, if she still loves you.

You even lack maturity and decorum in the way you address issues so can't you see that you don't have what it takes to contribute in a constructive manner? No offense intended but just wondering.

You can't and will never understand marital issues until you are married. This is the truth.

emiye: I am emiye and single.

Btw, who be you? i almost asked you if you are happily married.

I have made my point, i am certain the OP can not heal without separation, if at all he wants to keep her relationship

@Toks2008, i read your story, i wish you the best, your wife seems smart by separating from you for now, i will advice you cut communication with her temporarily, stop unsettling her with your calls and FB msgs, abscence makes the heart grow fonder, if she still loves you.

I quite appreciate your contribution. Nevertheless i believe you are still in the theoretic stage, when you get to the practical session then you will be more justified to contribute.

yoddy01: I wont be surprised if you are not married. If our mothers or fathers left their marriage when their spouses cheated, I wonder how many married couples will remain today. Poster, this is one of the reasons why I said you should not discuss with family or friends. They will mislead you.

Lets face it, its not an easy thing to forgive and forget but if you are married, you will realize that its not equally easy to divorce your spouse. GOD will help you OP. Just find a place in your heart to forgive her.

OP in few minutes from now, this thread will be forgotten so i implore you to take the advice of married folks on this thread.

Divorcing her is no guarantee that you wil not marry a woman that will not only cheat with a family friend but with even closer people to you.

By forgiving her and not divorcing her,GOD i believe will automatically promote you beyond your widest dream because you would have impressed baba GOD himself so think about it.

emiye: Ah, na serious matter be dis o.

certainly, it is really painful for you, (1) your wife cheated on u (2)your fake family friend(triple f) cheated on u.
(3) your wife was having sex with the triple f, 4 months after child birth and breadfeasting your adorable daughter. (4) your wife was/is emotionally attached with the triple f, based on the subject of the mail that exposed her (ifemi) (5)She had sex repeatedly with the man (6) you had never cheated on her (7)i sense you used to hold her in high esteem to believe she couldnt have acted as she did.

My perception of your wife, based on all you have said, which might be wrong, bt i am close to certain i am not.

(1) She is a callous woman, it is even more confirmed, when you claimed she is intelligent.

(2) The remorse is not deep seated, she only feels very sober for being caught.


My submission is for you to seek for divorce, and you mutually agree on the custody of ur daughter. If she gets desperate as regards your lack of attention (sex and the rest), she may go diabolical on you soonest, coz i am almost certain she is callous

BUT, if you dont want to tow the divorce option, then you are wasting time, trying to heal still living with her under the same roof, you have spent 8 months trying to heal, the next 12 months still living with her will not change the situation, the only way out is SEPARATION, you can start with 3 months(only known to u), send her back to her parents house, if they live around, if not get a small apartment for her to stay coz of her job.

I wish u the best.

Who be this? Are you married?