₦airaland Forum

@ sparta:  it must be very frustrating meeting all these kind of men who are only interested in one thing. Especially if you read this kind of thread:

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-68569.0.html

makes one wonder if there's any sincere person left in the world. Anyway, may you not fall into the hands of someone like that.

Cant say much, but just keep looking. If the wind is blowing away the light headed folks, hopefully the serious ones will be more visible. Mind that married guy though- his case is different. Its not easy being in a long distance relationship, and normally the other woman is the one who gets left out in the cold. The guy has needs, but dont lump all men together because of him. You know how guys are.

what crazykid said.

If he said he'll call, and doesnt, he's obviously probably into something else.

not that you're forcing yourself on him, but that's how it could look to the guy.

@ topic, why not?

Of course a guy and a girl can be just friends.

Happens to me all the time. 

Occasionally a guy friend gets carried away in a weak moment, but they can usually recover quickly, most times.

BABEELOVE:
Is that right

sorry, BABEELOVE, I couldnt resist.

BABEELOVE:
You must be a mohadana!!!!    "gbale' for yourself!  Na you rain go beat remove im spots!  Nonsense!  You don kolo How can you compare me to that--abnormal, animalistic, drug-snorting vixen   Rubbish! Take time oh!     I don't know why I am even answering you guys!  Like say Mama Mili dey for here!!!! Nonsense!  Na so una like the "abomination" reach   I am sorry for you!  Tufiakwa!!!!

hey hey, take it easy on mili now, haba.  I know the lady herself get mouth, but still-------

you see now why people think you are mili?

@Xris 74

Igbos in Nairaland! What to do with Laudate, Dimka, Batu and other knaves of like mind?

I advise that we completely ignore these crappy fellows. They are insufferable human haters, some openly, others in more sly manner. They are a lost cause. We can never MEND their lost souls. Therefore, let us completely fool them by ignoring them. This might be difficult because we expect that they will bring (gate-crash) their rotten selves and morbid hatred into any thread that concerns the Igbo, in a bid to derail the thread or elicit a specific type of response that suits their whims and caprices. Since these fellows are absolutely inconsequential creatures, please ignore them, and fast. I will try my best possible to show an example in this regard.

so, Xris74, you're the king of all the Igbos or something?

You're the warrant chief?

Orikinla no go kill me for here.


you probably contributed to this so called ban.

so you are one of the guys who come to church to check out the ladies- that's why they are gyrating everywhere when they see you. You must be sending out strong signals to like minded people as yourself. ie girls who go to church to hook a guy. Because I don't see why someone would be shaking her booty in your face, if she hadnt caught you checking out her out.


see how all the women are now under a blanket ban, thanks to guys like you, and the girls fishing for them ( ie if the story is true of course).

see why thinking people are becoming atheists in droves,

@toba1909

so are you saying it's a SIN to wear trousers?

ie everyone who wears trousers will not enter heaven?

Jesus came to tell people not to wear trousers?


just trying to get a perspective here.

@dafsun

The other day it was Covenant doing pregnancy and HIV test, then the police arresting girls for dressing in skimpy attires now it is RCCG banning girls from wearing trousers, are these the solutions to our underdevelopment as the 6th largest oil producer in the world?

thank you o.



see the rate at which people are migrating to other countries where such issues are not a priority.

And one thing which people seem to forget is that other countries have also experienced the kind of religiosity in Nigeria today. Russia, US, England, and countless others. Whenever the church starts acting as an instrument of the state, there is always a problem.

Of course a church has the right to comment on its members attire, but an outright ban seems rather drastic, and I for one feel it should be left to the individual churches to advice on what is acceptable clothing. If the girls are seducing the guys in the church, then make that your point of reference or reason.  Also understand that even if females are covered from head to toe in hijab, its no guarantee that guys will still not be seduced.


Of course showing excessive cleavage in church, wearing transparent  or overtight clothing, or showing most of your assets is very distracting in a church setting, and many girls wear these clothes without fully realizing what they're doing- that's why the church should advice people occasionally on fashion sense. And it can be done in an informal manner. The idea of an outright ban is very alarming.

So far anyway, i havent seen anything to confirm this story.

wonderful.

I tire for Nigeria o.

why must we always major in minor things? why is women's attire suddenly a big deal? I understand for the sharia people, but why must it become a matter of state?

This is why I like to read about the history of Christianity. There's nothing going on today in any church that hasnt been done before. Look at the Puritans. Look at Rwanda. Look at WWII Germany.


Religion in itself is so dangerous. Even Christ warned about the danger of being religious without having a godly and teachable mind.

Boondoggle, can you explain to me if Jesus wore trousers in his day?  Thanks.

wendymanda:
Good for you. I never said I have a problem with non virgins. I just said if I am going to wait then who ever I am with should have known that patience is a virtue. You might like experience when it comes to sex. I like a diseaseless person, if I marry a virgin I don't have to worry whether or not he might have something. When I say virgin I mean to the fullest extent; no kissing, no MouthAction, anal sex or anything of such nature. He should be like a monk that left the monastery. When I say clueless together I mean absolutely clueless, like a caveman seeing fire for the first time.
Take it however you will

wendymanda, you yourself dont sound like a virgin now.

a virgin wouldnt know all this stuff you listed here.

honestly, with a name like boondoggle

yeah, he needs to marry a virgin, if his screen name's anything to go by.

no offence, boondoggle.

Siena:
@ Tpia: Aye, my old man MUST have gone through some terrible things to act the way he did, at least, those were the excuses I used to make for him in my mind. I went through hell too as a kid, but I certainly didn't turn out the way he did.

Still, folk react differently to unpleasant events in their lives, perhaps I was stronger? We'll never know. But, all in the past now, I only hope his soul's at peace.

not necessarily stronger, but maybe different  ( from him). Different environment than his, different nature.

well, glad to know you're okay now. The story just disturbed me.

.

.

taj:
If such is the case please with evidence report the situation to NAFDAC. Our lives should not be endangered because of some people hungry for money.

exactly.

if something is wrong with the manufacturers' quality control, then they need to be notified. Since they dont know.

i must say, siena's story really disturbed me, but I think Militia has just about covered every angle on that issue.

I'd like to add, however, siena, your dad was also  a product of his own environment: ie to understand why he acted like that, you'd probably have to research his own background ,upbringing, and history. i can just imagine the pain your mom went through, having to watch all this. i did know a guy whose dad was very abusive almost in the way you described, when I was young, but I dont think it was you ( you're igbo, right? I doubt this boy was igbo).

Its really not good when a child wonders why his parent (s) dont love him. I mean,  a child should not have to search for signs of a parent's love.

anyway, its all in the past now- what's done is done. the future is yours. emotional wounds dont heal easily, but the key here is forgiveness, both for your dad and for yourself.

Godsgirl:
Wow, my girls (and of course Boondoggle) are so smart, I'm so proud you all that are here for Aisha , Girl, as you can see, you are in good hands, And Tpia reminded me of something from her post, What also helped me get over such a crush was the fact that I saw the cheating spouse as unattractive/Plain nasty, pretty on the outside but deadly on the inside. I imagined myself as the wife and I wanted to cry-It's gotta be every good woman's worst nightmare. And you know, most these cheaters do not even leave their wife in the end. Yeah, they think they are slick, They need to watch out for girls like us huh! we'll set them straight!

a lot of people actually wouldnt care if the man was married or not; they'd still go ahead and date him anyway, but she showed it bothered her, and i really respect her for that.

besides,  she's having misgivings, and that could be her intuition telling her something. Like a warning.

interesting!

nice!

aisha, I admire your resolve, cause I know sometimes its not easy.

but believe me, IT WILL PASS. no matter the intensity of the emotion, it wont last forever. The guy will probably make every effort to be alone with you, especially since he knows the attraction is mutual. If possible, dont allow the both of you to be alone in the same room together. Always make sure there's a third party present. its really not easy, but it can be done.

and like someone said, flirt with other people preferably in his presence. Nothing helps a mutual attraction cool faster than  the knowledge there's someone else in the picture who is also attractive. Some men especially find that hard to deal with ( hopefully the guy isnt also on this forum).

all the best. Hopefully you wont have any reason to regret your choices. But just consider the alternative: give in and here comes the drama of a cheating husband, enraged/vengeful/wronged/malevolent wife, baby mama  or abortion drama maybe (for you), the guy later cheating on you as well, when he feels another  "connection" to someone else, also, you meeting your own man but bypassing him because this fellow is blocking your vision, the list is endless. Count the costs: is it really worth it?

of course flings are dangerously sweet, but believe me, you'll still meet many many men who you'll also have an emotional connection with, after this one.

Olagold:
Thank u all for your concern, i've tried so much to be close to them and accept them the way they are, but the more closer i get along the more harmful they become. I think they are hating us the way they hate my mum.
I don't like pretending, so its better to be far away from them than to be closer and pretend as if everything is ok.

if you've noticed these things, dont just assume its your imagination.  And dont assume because they are family, therefore things will somehow work out okay. it doesnt always turn out like that. Its true some family members can hate with a passion, and sometimes its just better to stay away from people bent on pulling you down.

Its really bad that people will carry grudges for decades, simply because they have issues with someone's choice of spouse. it does happen.

You can forgive them so you dont live with malice in your heart, but still be careful. You dont really have to force yourself to be close just because you feel obligated to.