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FamilyRe: . by TV01(m):
jennybright:
I saw three condom in my husband's car I didn't confront him yet because he travelled the following day and will be back by next week. My question now is how do I present the matter in such a way he will feel my pain or should I let it go. I don't want to have heart attack or high BP for my kids sake that is why I'm trying hard not to think about it. All the same I still thank God at least he uses condom to avoid bringing disease to the whole family. God bless you all.
Sorry to hear this, there is really no pleasant aspect to your discovery. The fact that you have to sit on this until he returns, aren't sure how he will react, can't be sure of what this truly means, or be certain about the eventual outcome must all be very worrying.

You are doing the right thing with your intention to confront him and you have been duly advised to adopt the right tone and timing. One good thing about having some time before this discussion, is that you can think long and hard about what you will say, what you will demand and how you will deal with the possible outcomes.

It would be glib of me to proffer advice without knowing more about you & your situation, your husband, or the dynamics of your union, but I note you mentioned children - you sound like you will have their well-being at the forefront of your mind in dealing with this matter.

I have been hypothetical today and will continue in that vein. I'll suppose you are in a marriage properly entered into, too which you are both committed. First if you have faith, pray.

Then think about what outcome you want and what exactly you are prepared both to do and to accept. Then when you have this sit down, ask for him hear you out. Tell him exactly what you found, how shocked you were, how it made you feel and your concern for the impact on your union. Then ask for an explanation.

Depending on his explanation - and I'm not assuming he is guilty, that he will admit it if he is, he may even go on the offensive - you need to make him aware that it is unacceptable if he did, and what you found implicates him in something wrong, even if he didn't

I'm here if you'd like to share more detail and discuss more - otherwise all the very best and whatever the case, may you find long-term happiness in your marriage and joy in your family. Be resolute, be strong.


TV
FamilyRe: Black Woman Discriminating Against Light Skinned Women by TV01(m): 1:27pm On Apr 09, 2015
Moana:
the very first sentence states that she is directing her comment to black men...like i said this is pointless. You cannot pick out anything
DARK SKIN is the essence of true blackness and if these fakers were really and truly conscious they would MARRY DARK SKINNED WOMEN!!!
TV01:
Nope the title is fine. The comments were directed at Ken due to his choice of a light skinned black woman. She is clealry implying that light skin is in some way not as authentic or representative of black. If anything Ken should hold his peace and right thinking sisters - of all hues - should administer a good paddling to rash Rashida.
njokusboy:
You lack deductive reasoning....
TV
FamilyRe: Black Woman Discriminating Against Light Skinned Women by TV01(m): 1:04pm On Apr 09, 2015
Moana:
just one sentence please or this is completely pointless
FAKE CONSCIOUS COON ASS RAPPER KENDRICK LAMAR PART 2.
I see calling out and exposing self hating fake black men who speak about consciousness but date and marry NON DARK SKIN WOMEN brought you haters to my page. WELL SHARE THIS MUTHERFUKING POST!!! These type of fake coons are the worst of the worst. DARK SKIN is the essence of true blackness and if these fakers were really and truly conscious they would MARRY DARK SKINNED WOMEN!!! You pissed ?? GOOD!!!
TV
FamilyRe: Black Woman Discriminating Against Light Skinned Women by TV01(m): 12:56pm On Apr 09, 2015
Moana:
like i said show me one sentence she directed to light skinned women? undecided
...and if the issue is not light skinned women - "lightness" - why was anything directed at anyone in the first place?


TV
FamilyRe: My Fiance Just Told Me He Has A Son! by TV01(m):
...I'll pretend you're my little sister for a moment;


Me - he said what?
Lil' Sis - recounts story!

Me - thank him for his honesty and tell him it's over. Next time as soon as you feel a relationship may be getting serious or a guy is looking likely, appropriately express your heartfelt desires and commence due dilligence. Don't wait 3 bloody years.

Me - and another thing, it's always best - and could save you a lot of potential heartache - if you conduct any relationships with Daddy' oversight - or in lieu, an appropriate family elder.

Me - and finally if you do choose to go ahead and marry this guy, it's almost certain that you'll not have fully grasped all it entails and you may find the burden heavy - and there is very little we your family can do once you are actually in it. Over to you sis...


TV
FamilyRe: Black Woman Discriminating Against Light Skinned Women by TV01(m): 10:10am On Apr 09, 2015
Moana:
Last time i checked it has always been dark skinned men who discriminate against dark skinned women by making them feel like they are inferior to women of other races that are lighter
Check again.

Moana:
all i saw was a comment directed to Kendrick, please show me where she directed the comment to light skinned females? Kindly read it again and correct your title.
Nope the title is fine. The comments were directed at Ken due to his choice of a light skinned black woman. She is clealry implying that light skin is in some way not as authentic or representative of black. If anything Ken should hold his peace and right thinking sisters - of all hues - should administer a good paddling to rash Rashida.


TV
FamilyRe: Black Woman Discriminating Against Light Skinned Women by TV01(m): 10:00am On Apr 09, 2015
cococandy:
Oh well I don't think she's submissive but that's not for me to say since I'm not in the relationship with them.
It's actually something I heard way back - even before her 72 day "marriage". It was about how she really "took care" of her men, and that really struck me. I think it's something a lot of women could learn from as I think many don't really get it - or do it very well.

We all know that women love to be pampered and they typically put it out there and expect it. I feel they get it more as it hinges onto the "provider" expectation of men. I don't think men demand it in quite the same way, but they love it just as much.

And you did well to spot that, as while it's not "submissiveness" in a strict sense, I see it as very much an adjunct quality. It would be difficult to do one without the other.

cococandy:
At least even if she is, it is not the brand we hear around here. So understand my surprise that an NL dude much less you considers her a submissive woman.
Maybe we are guilty of not clearly defining our terms of reference. I always kind of figured many women feel submission = slavery/unquestioning obedience, but I never heard any man state that here on NL in a discussion I've participated in.

cococandy:
Meaning I must have misunderstood you all along or you must have miscommunicated your definition of submissiveness at some point.
For me it's never been more than a wife recognising her husband as head and being willing to defer to his authority if instances they can't mutually agree a way forward.

If anything it demands more of the men as it burdens him with resposibility and forces him to demonstrate leadership. And the actual "wielding of authority" will rarely be in view and cannot characterise every aspect of their relationship or colour all their interactions. It's mostly to regulate DIL/MIL interactions grin!

cococandy:
Did you say no one equates submissiveness to unquestioning obedience? Maybe you don't but many do.
Yes I said that. Please name these brothers and I'll have a quiet word wink!

cococandy:
It is well.
Sounds like it just got better.


TV
FamilyRe: Black Woman Discriminating Against Light Skinned Women by TV01(m): 10:48pm On Apr 08, 2015
Stillfire:
The thread has run its cause. cheesy Everything that needs to be said have been said.
Maybe, maybe not...but I'm happy to close...njokusboy, on to the next one please grin!

...uno momento shocked
cococandy:
I agree with feminity but submissiveness?
I've heard it all grin
I thought I heard it all when Beyoncé and Amber rose were handed to us as examples to follow.
Now I'm sure I've heard it all.
KK an example in female submissiveness?
I take it you've never watched an episode of the kardashians.
I'm sorry I'm must have been reading you guys wrong all my stay on nairaland.
My original post;
TV01:
I must say words fail me for Kanye - or any man that would wife a woman of that sort. Having said that Hollywood values are somewhat different. And one thing I've noted before, femininity and submissiveness; I understand KK has that in spades. Take a leaf women. But no mojo clips.
As clearly stated, I would never consider KK a role model or indeed wife material, but I have heard that she really caters to her man, properly indulges them - that's akin to submissiveness, which in any event no one has ever likened to unquestioning obedience. As for femininity, apart from being well endowed, she presents to appeal to men.

I only gave her credit for two things I heard she gets right, it wasn't an endorsement. I haven't watched the show and doubt that her relationship dynamics with Kanye are honestly portrayed there. I don't endorse Beyonce or Amber either - not that they are scouring NL eagerly waiting for me to give them my stamp of approval grin!

Close

TV
FamilyRe: Black Woman Discriminating Against Light Skinned Women by TV01(m): 7:42pm On Apr 08, 2015
Stillfire:
Which seething hate? You guys can hype yourself sha. You just want to cause katakata between women. It won't work on me. I am pro-female first before anything. tongue tongue tongue tongue I love my white sisters!
I am also pro-female and love my white sisters and white sister-in law grin

Stillfire:
Thanks for mentioning India. India is very apt here. They come a close second to black men in elevating lighter skin. grin
But white men have a deep seated and enduring thing for Indian women. Lightness preference is not primarily interracial, it's intraracial.


TV
FamilyRe: Black Woman Discriminating Against Light Skinned Women by TV01(m): 7:33pm On Apr 08, 2015
Stillfire:
You all should just admit to your color issue is all I ask. I am not anti interracial dating abeg. Stop making Strober think you are 'conscious', then she will start crying on the net when you break her heart, giving black men ammo to insult black women in general.
...if black women had a better product and hence choice they wouldn't give a rats arse about what black men said or did. Fact. It's not black men that have an issue with interracial dating or get all fixated on pixelation is it?


TV
FamilyRe: Black Woman Discriminating Against Light Skinned Women by TV01(m):
Stillfire:
Really TV? You want us to believe that this does not cut across class. Or the intellectual black man don't have this same preference? cheesy What do you say of these African Presidents? cheesy On which continent do you see a leader with a different race of women as his leading lady? Africa of course! grin

Ivory Coast
https://292fc373eb1b8428f75b-7f75e5eb51943043279413a54aaa858a.r38.cf3.rackcdn.com/world_09_temp-1306046723-4dd8b103-620x348.jpg

Gabon
[img]https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcR5-ayUXO3nRwq0OKjMkSgYDn9rDga7Xkqh522atRHtDQGQj2zv[/img]
...and Sonia Ghandi - who was the rulers spouse and then the ruler in India - was not Italian?

Black men have higher desirability and wider choice. Simples. It means that even lower class black men have more options - so yes, it does cut across class cheesy

My bro' was dating a Brazilian and I went round to his with 3 Naija sisters for a party. Brazil babe later complained about the seething hate she felt. Main sister who was my friend admitted that the girls were pissed that even as they struggle to find quality brothers, foreign chicks were encroaching - "it's so unfair" - it's not just Rashida cheesy!


TV
FamilyRe: Black Woman Discriminating Against Light Skinned Women by TV01(m): 7:07pm On Apr 08, 2015
Stillfire:
I have never dated anyone from my ethnic group sef,
So when you do it it's informed, enlightened choice...

Stillfire:
but I do acknowledge the fact that we do have a skin color problem in the black community and black men should not pretend they are oblivious to this. grin
...but if others do, it's a problem huh

My very first post onthis thread mentioned the fact that black men are never given the benefit of the doubt when it comes to their perceived non-pc/off message mate choices, but here you are?

And given the fact that you claim that black men are "the black womans worst enemy", how would you answer a charge of your choice being due to "self-loathing"? Not that most black men would even notice?

I subsequently said the only ones that feel the need to denigrate or justify are those that have the issues.

And we still love y'all - regardless of your mate choices cheesy!

Shollypopz, please come and show us how slavery determined this one cool!


TV
FamilyRe: Black Woman Discriminating Against Light Skinned Women by TV01(m): 6:52pm On Apr 08, 2015
damiso:
Don't worry she is already half way to wrapping you around her fingers grin

Lol @ Heightavist.

While I don't get the rant on who another person decides to be with, I kinda also think I really don't have the right to tell her not to rant as I have probably not had the experiences she has had. Race issues would always be viewed differently by Africans and AA's.
She can rant now...but it will do as much good as asking for reparations due to slavery, and will always carry the the hint of whining, and the inability to self-actualise. Loserbird!

TV
FamilyRe: Black Woman Discriminating Against Light Skinned Women by TV01(m): 6:48pm On Apr 08, 2015
Shollypopzz:
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CAvCdJ8UwAAeJNU.jpg


The below describes you and my post:

https://i.imgur.com/cE8XG4o.gif
So the idiotic utterances of a handful of musically talented but mostly unenlightened rappers dictate black thought and consciousness? Nope, women feel entitled to certain men and want to ideologically dictate their mate choices to suit their own narratives.

Trying to pin it all on slavery/white domination is a cop-out. Rashida should hold that plank grin!

All that race voodoo has little purchase these days. People get with whoever.

Sisters need to overhaul their product grin!


TV

Kevin Hart - short ass, Lil' Wayne - troglodyte, Neyo - gay, Kanye - beta; and these are the objects of black female desire and arbitors of their consciousness cheesy - it's all over for the black race!
FamilyRe: Black Woman Discriminating Against Light Skinned Women by TV01(m):
Stillfire:
I'm sorry there is a pattern and tendency to leave black women with black bastards.
I thought all the black males were with white women grin Ergo, there must be at least an equal tendency to leave white women with mixed race bastards no?

It would also be nice if women could take responsibitity for their sexual choices. You make it sound as if they drop items at black womens homes and simply fail to return to collect them. What happened to the "strong/empowered black woman"?

Stillfire:
The black man is hypersexual. If this is what it takes to not bring a bastard into the world, I will forever frown my face cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy. A black man would want to sleep with you and not take responsibility for the consequences.
And hypersexual = desirable to women of all shades cool

Stillfire:
If you are light though and you have slutty ways he will make excuses for you. Ask Kim kardashian. Can a black woman have a sex video out there and marry a top black star? Hahaha. grin grin grin grin grin Black men demand a saintly semblance from the black woman but will excuse it in lighter females. grin grin grin tongue
I must say words fail me for Kanye - or any man that would wife a woman of that sort. Having said that Hollywood values are somewhat different. And one thing I've noted before, femininity and submissiveness; I understand KK has that in spades. Take a leaf women. But no mojo clips.


TV
FamilyRe: Black Woman Discriminating Against Light Skinned Women by TV01(m): 4:46pm On Apr 08, 2015
damiso:
Hi TV how's lil princess doing? Am sure she is growing so much as the weeks ago by.

I wonder how you would have pulled off the looks engineering grin

It does not matter to me though I think they are both beautifully and wonderfully made(like all mums think of their children grin monkey no fine but Im mama like am). I just think its highly insensitive to say things like ' gosh your son is so cute much Finer than his sister' or ' they should have swapped it the other way round as boy and girl' angry sometimes when my daughter is within hearing. We are doing all we can to build character first and everything else would follow. I never ever felt less 'finer' than lighter skinned people while growing up and bleaching or 'toning' never crossed my mind. My parents my dad especially helped with that.

Funny enough life is funny because I never thought I would be married to a lighter skinned dude grin the default setting used to be 'tall dark and handsome' cheesy
...my girl is dong fine thanks for asking. She's grown on me so much - she's now my official side-chick grin! I may have to post pix at some point.

Anyone with a grounded character - even with a colour/tone preference will not make it a deal breaker when push comes to shove. This is about hiding behind ideology and activism to validate your angst. Vicariously copping feelings and them getting all enraged when the object does not conform to your desires.

I posted the link where I recounted how I was royally dissed for not being tall enough - make I dey form "Heightavist" as a result ni grin!

Short is as short does angry!


TV
FamilyRe: Black Woman Discriminating Against Light Skinned Women by TV01(m): 4:37pm On Apr 08, 2015
Stillfire:
Of course character is what counts, but at the same time let us not ignore the colorism issue plaguing black men. grin Stop deceiving the sisters, and this entitlement of 'our black men' will stop. grin Huffington post did not conduct the study. A white affiliated company conducted the study.
In as much as it existed and still exists, it's a fast dying notion.

Black men are high profile and lauded - even if I think it's the wrong fields - Sport and Entertainment. Even in the US white women are just as likely to go for the black jock/thug. Even if it's pandering to a stereotype. Having a white woman aint a thing anymore.

The truth is many black men find white women more forgiving. Less demanding and more willing to cut them slack. It's not the celebs that you should even be worried about. I recounted last year how I went to a party and it was mostly blue collar black (Nigerian) men with white women. The demands of our sisters here are too much for them and they simply opt for the easy option.

At this point in time it's not about superior, it's more about simpler. Sorry!


TV
FamilyRe: Black Woman Discriminating Against Light Skinned Women by TV01(m): 4:30pm On Apr 08, 2015
Shollypopzz:
Feminism has nothing to do with why she attacked Lamar! Read well before you interject your pot belly into other people's conversation.
It's a feminist driven sense of entitlement and it also inspires the use of "shaming" to force people to act according to it's odeological dictates.

...you want to see my 6 pack abi? But obviously as a Blackfemactivist you can't just come out and say it grin It has been known to turn white women off white men cool!


TV
FamilyRe: Black Woman Discriminating Against Light Skinned Women by TV01(m): 4:25pm On Apr 08, 2015
Shollypopzz:
There is something called, connecting the dots and I'm not about to teach a grown "man", how to do that. Did you see the picture I posted on the first page, these are things that men in Lamar's position have said about dark-skinned women. Recently, there was a trend on twitter-"#blackcelebsbelike" showing ridiculous comments Black celebs have made on race issues. The issue is that the melanin lacking community look at the opinions of these people to represent how all black people feel. So, I can't blame them if they would like their celebs to represent them better.
For some reason the pic didn't show and doesn't allow me to open it? Anyway...
Firstly - all communities have melanin - just in varing degrees - or do I need to teach a grown "woman" that grin!
Again, if anyone decides to calibrate their beliefs on "celeb utterances/lifestyles", that's their business. And to think that as a result, their choices must validate your perceptions is sheer lunacy.

Shollypopzz:
(2.)That is exactly what makes him a fake. You must not be a fan of rap, because rap music is about the artist's lifestyle. People are going to make fun of Drake if he comes out tomorrow talking about selling cocaine and living in the hood, because that would make him a fake. Rappers rap about their lives.
I woulldn't call myself a fan - and mostly because I'm not really musical in a critical sense - but rap has gone mainstream and moved beyond that. Ghetto is no tthe only authentic rap voice - and even if it was, only the more reason to question Rashidas beef with it.

Shollypopzz:
Comparing race issues to gym habit is insulting, to say the least. You are probably one of those Africans that ignore the effects of racism in the black community or you just suck at making analogies.
First, you have to believe that at it's heart it's a race issue - this woman is black as you yourself pointed out undecided!
Secondly, it's a clear analogy of lifestyle and choices - in the absence of any moral prescriptives - not necessarily being tied. Why must Lamaar marry a dark skinned woman just because they have appeared in his iconography? Would he have to go gay if he'd used homosexuals tongue!

And no, I acknowledge the effects of racism. I am also unemotional about the self-inflicted pathologies that the black communities suffer from. Afterall - and I know colonialsim had a role - are there not free black nations that self-govern? Do they not have problems?

I acknowledge - I don't wallow. Which is what Rashida is doing on an individual level and forming activist to soothe her angst.

If Jesus as depicted is white/Jewish, must I as a professing Christian marry a white/Jewish woman? Okay, maybe I am crap at analogies grin!

Shollypopzz:
I don't support the attack but I understand the frustration. These rappers measure their accomplishment by how many white chics they can sleep with.
That is just bollox. After a while they have scored with so many it simply won't be a thing. Any fascination will soon dissapear when they rack up the numbers. How may black rappers that actually care to marry actually marry white women?


TV
FamilyRe: Black Woman Discriminating Against Light Skinned Women by TV01(m): 3:55pm On Apr 08, 2015
Stillfire:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/11/08/african-american-women-ha_n_1083182.html
A study was done on self esteem among women, BLACK WOMEN WERE RATED HIGH despite all the issues and insults of being heavier. cheesy We cannot be intimidated. grin
As an aside "self-esteem" is at best suspect as a notion. And the fixation with women having it will change nothing. Character is waht counts. Likewise being able to tough out situations or go head-to-head does not compensate for real character, ability and hardwork.

And the HP is one of the liberal rags that's leading Sisters on a merry dance.

Just saying.


TV
FamilyRe: Black Woman Discriminating Against Light Skinned Women by TV01(m): 3:48pm On Apr 08, 2015
njokusboy:
Am telling you, just look at Kelly Rowland, amber rose, beyonce and MEAGAN GOOD cool cool cool... it's never really being about the complexion, it's about the baggage...
Black men love thick women... I don't find miley cyrus, Angelina Jolie or those othher skinny white chicks attractive one bit...
I won't mind some kardarsion though...
The only black endowed women I don't admire are the Whoopi goldbergs of this world and you know why grin grin
At it's heart, it's just an entitlement rant.

The men she wants and/or feels she deserves she can't get/don't want her. Butt-hurt, pure and simple- Unattractive black men marry out all the time, no one gets all activist about it.

Likewise, the thought of the two white women you mentioned makes me puke. Same for Keira Knightly. The fuss? I just don't get it. Anne Hathaway was in the papers this morning - doing a Miley" coincidentally - and I just thought "warris dis huh

And didn't Whoopi get with a white man - if only temporarily?


TV
FamilyRe: Black Woman Discriminating Against Light Skinned Women by TV01(m): 3:41pm On Apr 08, 2015
coogar:
there was a time dogs had more acceptance than black men in several western countries but now, various researches show black men sit atop the totem pole of the most desirable men in the world. they kept faith with their brands & made the rest of the world accept them for what they are.
It shall no more be known as the "Skoda effect", henceforth, it shall be called the "Ballsy Brothers mandate" grin


TV
FamilyRe: Black Woman Discriminating Against Light Skinned Women by TV01(m): 3:38pm On Apr 08, 2015
Stillfire:
Omg if that is love, I do not want to see what hate would look like. grin
I do understand that finding a mate is not exclusive to one factor. The thing is find your mate, and leave black women out of why you chose to be with that mate. grin But black males would not hear word and would not rest until they insult black women and say I chose my foreign wife because black women are ugly etc. You cannot choose your wife because you love her or what?
Tough love - the true kind cheesy

There will always be a section of haters. Disgruntled white men use the term "mudsharking" to refer to black male/white female relationships. They always insists that it's the fat, ugly or in someway lesser white females that go with black men. I laugh, as in my own experience that is simply not true.

Just as there are those who denigrate those who do it, there will be some who cross race lines or have such preferences who will seek to "justify" why they do. It's these two minority groups who are mainly suspect as far as I'm concerned. Flip sides of the same coin - for those who are at ease with themselves and their choices, there is no need to denigrate or justify.

Anyone who makes the best fist of it will at least increase their choices. Choice is freedom.


TV
FamilyRe: Black Woman Discriminating Against Light Skinned Women by TV01(m): 3:32pm On Apr 08, 2015
njokusboy:
(1) the underlying ideology is the same....anyway, dat argument would take years nd neither of us would accede.. do some more research though...
(2) now wat are you talking about... when did I say there was no white privilede...
(3) Shollypopz point is also largely redundant as whatever the distinction, feminism is a key driver in the black community - directly and indirectly - whether it's consciously subscribed to or not.


TV
FamilyRe: Black Woman Discriminating Against Light Skinned Women by TV01(m): 3:25pm On Apr 08, 2015
njokusboy:
Lupita no fine sha.... I don't care how una see am tongue
She'd be fine - to me if she were full with it. Many non-black men will not see beyond her complexion regardless. She's a PC meme. Unless she shows outstanding talent as a mummer she'll be gone soon. Real favourites - like Jennifer Lawrence - are given their own vehicles/franchises.


TV
FamilyRe: Black Woman Discriminating Against Light Skinned Women by TV01(m): 3:22pm On Apr 08, 2015
damiso:
Chai see how you people have finished us darkies on this thread. embarassed embarassed take it easy on us naa.


But stillfire is correct though on how black people see lighter skinned people as ' finer' .God knows how many people I have had to shut up from saying my son is cuter than my daughter ( I don't want all those kain inferiority complex inducing talks around my child angry).

Even me ,I get from supposedly educated people o ' I thought you would be lighter now that you live in the UK' huh

#teamdarkiesarebeautiful cool

That said one can't choose who another person will have a preference for. That's why it's called choice.
...how far Dami?

One of the minor reasons I kinda wanted a second son was because my boy is so cute, I didn't think we'd be so blessed again and I figured a not so handsome man can always compensate in other ways.

We also "agreed" that if it was per chance a girl, it should look like her mum. Any girl that looks like me go suffer - no matter how light skinned grin.

Funnily enough, she's a stunner - yes I know, I have to say that - looks similar to her brother, and the real surprise; she's quite light skinned? Let me just call madam to make sure she keeps her out of the sun cheesy!


TV
FamilyRe: Black Woman Discriminating Against Light Skinned Women by TV01(m): 3:13pm On Apr 08, 2015
Stillfire:
To be light is a compliment in our community and seen as a beauty yardstick in the universe and in the same breath you say it is not preferred? grin Hahaha. TV you can do better than this. I am here to tell black women the truth, so that peace can reign in their hearts. grin
My biggest enemy is the one who insults me o, if not for the law black men will kill black women. shocked I no dey do any pseudo intellectualism. The person that insults me at every given breath is my enemy. And that is the black man. cheesy grin
No Stilly, not a yardstick - just one measure wink And it does not necessarily dictate overall preference for many men - even amongst those that may have it as one indicator.

A darker skinned women who presents well will not be unduly hindered by her skin tone - if Rashida was woo'ed by a white man - I know, fat chance (and again grin) - would she be duty /ideologically bound to reject him?

We don't abuse "our women" - we correct them in love cool


TV
FamilyRe: Black Woman Discriminating Against Light Skinned Women by TV01(m): 3:07pm On Apr 08, 2015
pickabeau1:
lol... there are issues

The black man nd woman need change.. that's the truth

Some men have abdicated their responsibility as authorities in the family which has led to the ascendance of 'strong black women' - filled with anger and hate

Some idolize the white woman look and make themselves bleached, burn their curly hair or use attachments all to hide their God given beauty

Some equate strength to being mouthed and rude all over the place

One can go on... The matter no go end today
True
Although colour is not a "prime directive" for me, there are undoubtedly serious pathologies in some black communities and nations. And as such co-opting "alien" notions does not necessarily help if not done smartly and with - dare I say it - proper "consciousness.

My main thrust - as ever - is always to exhort men to stand.


TV
FamilyRe: Black Woman Discriminating Against Light Skinned Women by TV01(m): 3:03pm On Apr 08, 2015
cococandy:
@bold it is the same thing. Especially for short men. That's why I don't say anything when I hear them complain.
They didn't create themselves, and you can't really force anyone to like a short man if she doesn't but it is unfair to try and shut a short man up for ranting against the 'injustice' grin

I agree we should all work to improve ourselves no matter what the physical shortcoming may be
Short men must surely overcome - read from paragraph 2 grin

https://www.nairaland.com/1490399/think-need-some-genuine-please#19067631


TV
FamilyRe: Black Woman Discriminating Against Light Skinned Women by TV01(m): 2:22pm On Apr 08, 2015
cococandy:
The vast majority of black men prefer black women? .
Statistical fact - even in the good ole' US of A. When I moved back to the UK it took a while for me to "feel" white girls. I actually thought it would be mixed race women all the way. Long-term my preference was for really dark and creamy and I married someone pretty much average black?

cococandy:
Well..... Maybe. But in the pool of black women,they prefer the lighter skins from what I have seen..
I tend to agree with you here, but I don't think it's a default setting. Lots of men love darker and many have no real preference. I was pleasantly surprised when I had my first fair g/f and used to regularly srprise myself by "wowing" at lighter black women when I thought I prefered really dark ones? Plus most men are driven more by other physical attributes over and above skin tone.

cococandy:
And it has really nothing much to do with behavior or attitudes like some would like to imply. They just plain ol' prefer creamy shades. That's why I understand where that lady is coming from. .
To a degree maybe - but it's not a real excuse. But what of short men? Or poor blokes? Or, or, or...we all have to work to rise above our percieved disadvantages and make the best of our situations.

cococandy:
People like njokuboy should leave her alone. You can't beat a child and ask it not to cry tongue.
Shes crying "not fair" because she can't be bothered to work for it, not because she is being cheated or discriminated out of it - she deserves to be paddled grin!


TV
FamilyRe: Anthropologist Explains Why We Cheat On People We Love by TV01(m): 2:12pm On Apr 08, 2015
Vivalavida99:
"In short, we're capable of loving more than one person at a time," Fisher said.

And that's why, Fisher says, some people may cheat on their partner.
More disingeneous slight of hand to justify immorality.

No matter how many people you love or lust after, the decision to be intimate with more than one is a simple choice. Whatever "evolutionary adaptations" humans have made - if you subscribe to such notions - they have a higher consciousness that can override that instinct.

You have to be really "intelligent and learned" to reduce human actions to the animalistic.


TV
FamilyRe: Boys Night Out Discussions by TV01(m): 2:05pm On Apr 08, 2015
coogar:
the MIL started the physical assault according to the OP. i do not believe the MIL just started distributing slaps like a rabid wolf. something horrible must have been said by wifey to provoke MIL to use her hands. are we excusing verbal abuse & demonising physical abuse?
I won't let MIL off the hook either. The elder thing comes with it's own rights and responsibilites and does not in itself answer all things. And her eldership does not superced my husbandship.


TV

oya back to footie grin!

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