₦airaland Forum

maimota:
I still can not answer this question,because i see men as liers
I don't know if other ladies share the same view.
Do men really love?
Does TRUE LOVE exit?

Yes they do actually - and in a far more sincere and deeper way than women are capable of.

Other "ladies" may well share your view - they'd be equally wrong/deceived/dishonest/immature/lacking understanding...check as applicable!


TV

bellong:
Your wife does not respect you. She knows your affection for her will always affect your sense of good judgement in being firm with decision.

If your MIL has not been abusive to her in the past, I see no reason why this simple issue should cause a world war. It only means your wife lacks respect for an elder. Even if your mum slap her without offending her, it is left for your wife to wait for you and not engage in physical combat with an old woman. What if something bad happened to any of them in the process?

You need to get to the root of the animosity between your mum and wife.

Above all, your wife acted like an untrained woman. Apologies to use the word.

Happy Sunday Bellong, hope all's well.

Actually I mostly disagree with your position - even if the wife if somewhat uncouth.

When a man marries a woman he is meant to cover and protect her. The first person he has to protect her from is herself, the second is himself and the third is everyone else. Her supposed uncouthness is his to deal with as part of his service to her.

A wife must never feel that she is anything but 1st in her husbands life, and if she does, her husband should ensure he finds out why and remedies that as required or reassures as necessary.

No one - and I mean no one, mother, father, egbon, cousin, godfather, patron, guardian angel, gym-buddy, etc. - can come into my house and fight my wife, no matter what she has done & even if she is 100% in the wrong.

OP - I've come to this thread late and couldn't read all 25 odd pages. MadCow was the first comprehensive and insightful post I read. Please take heed.

Now to you;

1. It should always be clear to all and sundry that you command your homestead. Do not let anyone be in doubt about that - feel free to drive that point home harshly if required. Command your household. Stop dithering and pandering to other peoples feelings - especially the women who are proximate in your life as that is where most of the unnecessary drama will emanate from.

In this case you had multiple breaches; first you left them alone without the implicit understanding that peace must reign - or certainty that it would. Then when your wife called you did not do enough to diffuse the situation. And now you have not acted swiftly to resolve the issue. You have also take your mothers demands on board instead of rejecting them out of hand and laying down the law.

2. Your wife could have responded differently. perhaps the underlying animosity and anxiety got the better of her. Tell her her behaviour was not acceptable and should not be repeated. Explain that she will apologise to your mum to draw a line under this issue - let her know she comes first and if there are any other odd behaviours she is exhibiting that must also cease. Understand the cause of the animosity and deal with it at some point. If your wife is secure in her position, that may well do the trick

3. Tell your mother you love her dearly, but your wife comes first and she should never forget that. If she refuses to make peace, excommunicate her until she repents - likewise for any family,friends or NL's that take your mothers side .

4. Grab those two loose hanging protuberances between your legs and squeeze them hard - yes, you da man !


TV<sup>MIC


cc Perfectionist</sup>

RoyalRoy:
[color=#000033]Hmmm....well noted!!!!


Oya am all ears.... I could do with some Gbenga and his Ijesha inducing "weapon"

[/color]

Cool, appreciate you giving ear. But I will have my say - at some point!

It was Gboyega, not Gbenga and a full exposé at this point will only lead to more mewling "delete post" requests !


Good evening

TV

RoyalRoy:
[color=#000033] TV....i know it won't stop the war but at least we can reduce it to the minimum.

There is too much tension "in the land".


But I assure you, a deleted thread will not have a positive mention to worry about.

Want to make sure no one opens some hate thread and spamming peoples mention while spewing their fury.

Peace will reign, it will be tough but achievable.


Cheers [/color]

I won't question your aims or challenge your remit as moderator. We are at your mercy !

However what blanking posts/locking threads achieves is in some cases questionable. It's always good if there's a record for posterity - if we can see for ourselves what was and was not said.

And like Coogar noted above, use of blanking/deleting/locking is somewhat inconsistent. My first - and only - post on the current abuse thread (in response to a mention by coogar) was blanked. There was no violation - that I was warned about or banned for - and I did not tell any untruths.

It was done at the behest of someone that was butt-hurt/running scared. In an open forum the correct recourse is a rebuttal - put up or shut up. Pandering in that manner allows people to say what they like and run whinging to the mods when they get served. More worringly it allows them to deceitfully change the historical narrative. I never complain. I accept, rebut or ignore - as pe okunrin now !


TV

RoyalRoy how far?

I have 8 mentions all suppressed and I see that Coco' thread has been deleted. I've also seen your "call for calm" thread, and am putting 2+2 together. What happened? Was it that bad?

There will always be beefs and wars - be they on the basis of personality or world-view differences. Not only can you not change that, to many of us it would be a poorer (read duller ) forum without it.

They always settle and if it gets too bad people typically ignore each other - with of course the occasional flare-up . I really don't think this suppression of speech/censorship is for the best.

This board is largely self-regulting - we try not to stress our moderators . And in any event you can't expect hypocrisy (not to mention, tribalism, bigotry, posturing, demagogic behaviour, attention whoring and the like) not to be called out. Just saying.

How do I know who needs advice, or who is in need of a good rinsing if mentions are blanked !

To be honest it won't settle differences, they'll just get parked.


TV

Congratulations and happy anniversary to you and your wife timbros.

I absolutely love and I'm really blessed by the way you wholeheartedly celebrate your wife, marriage and family. You are an example of the kind of man and husband we need around here. I pray the Lord grants you many more fulfilling and joyous years together.


All the very best

TV^MIC

timbros:
Exactly 1095 days ago, this wonderful journey began...

The feeling is always sweet when you wake up each morning to find the one who loves you by your side.

Honeym, I'm sending this bouquet of love to say that I love you so much. I hope I say it often enough. I want you to know it's true. On this special occasion, I want to remind you that you are my everything. And my love is true.

#HappyAnniversaryToUs

coogar:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3007905/Jehovah-s-Witness-sex-15-year-old-schoolboy-visited-sleepover-play-X-box-children-avoids-jail-sentence.html

so this 36 year old woman räped an underaged boy and he was spared jail by another idïotic judge. this is the 14th woman this year that would commit räpe and not go to prison.

i cannot imagine what would happen if the genders were reversed in this matter. what has gone wrong with this useless judges? it's like they have lost their brains. little wonder 3 of them were caught watching pörn & sacked only last week.

fûcking hell, this is depressing....

The double standard is glaring.

The tone when it's a man is always of a raging over-libidinous monster. When it's a woman "she's always vulnerable and was in a bad place" - usually due to the actions of some man, so it's actually all his fault. There is actually a drive to remove the possibility of jail time for women for any crime.

I'm still of the mind it's not as bad for boys, but I don't scream "equality". I also know that some supposedly under-age girls are forward and promiscuous.

I'm all for the husband forgiving her. Hopefully he asserts himself and doesn't become a serial cuckold. Can't fathoom what kind of damage this will have done to their son/children sha.

Although it talked about "her crying", nothing about the underlying reasons of why she did it, or if she has "form". Hmmm....



TV

coogar:
you have two?
can you reveal their bio-stats?

...2 questions!

If na "unmarried women", I have a truckload. Unfortunately they tend to approach me for help when things are turning k-legged and expect miralces. I have repeatedly told them, I'm Jnr Jesus not Jesus

But if you are looking let me know your spec . Wait 0, what happened to Sisi' Sarah?


TV

..yes. London can be one of the loneliest cities in the world if you are not connected or embedded in a wide social circle

Dalai:
I am a 27 year old male living and working in London. Many of my friends back home in Nigeria are now married. I desire something as such as well,

Think about the outcome you want - and what comes with it, the benefits and the burdens. You talk marriage, which is good, but a miss-marriage is the loneliest place. Are you mature enough to marry? Can you cope with the responsibilities and pressure. You are working but can your salary - even if only in part - sustain a family. Children can happen very soon and very suddenly. Is this in response to the situation of "your mates/friends in Nigeria"? And be sure of what you want in a spouse.

Dalai:
but the issue is that, it is pretty difficult - if not near impossible - to meet the type of person I will love to date and probably go on to settle down with, here in London. The type of person - career focused, family aware, strong Nigerian roots- but not stereotyped, religious- but not crazy about it, desires the basic fun things in life like travelling, salsa, adventure - is almost non-existing here in London.

Not true. They are here. You problem is locating and meeting them.

Dalai:
I do socialize a lot, and it drives me nuts that you only ever meet a Nigerian lady once in every 20 or 30 social outings.

If you socialise "a lot" and you are meeting 1 Nigerian lady every 20 or 30 outings, you are obviously looking in all the wrong places.. There is a critical mass of Nigerians in the UK now. Finding a spouse here should not present too much problems for a considered and focused person.

Dalai:
I know in the UK, there is a tendency for people to withdraw and live a convenient but antisocial 9-5 lifestyle. Which brings me to the crux of my entire rant, two questions for UK folks:

The dynamics of life in the UK mean once you start a family it tends to becomes the focal point of your life. The 9-5 is pain, but it gets most everyone here. But Nigerians still socialise and congregate - a lot in fact.

Dalai:
1) What is your experience with meeting and dating other Nigerians in the UK

No problem at all - why should there be?

Dalai:
2)How best does one improve his chances of meeting and dating other Nigerians in the UK

Go where they congregate; make friends at many levels, grow your acquaintances and network. The more people you meet and get to know the more you are likely to come across someone suitable. It's not rocket science.

I have two for you if you please;
1. Where do you live - and have you considered moving?
2. How long have you resided in the UK and are you planning to stay here or relocate to Nigeria?


TV

coogar:
i can guarantee you that is the best marital decision any mother can make. the whole argument that stay at home moms are prone to abuse is a retardēd & redundant argument.

no woman is immune to abuse - whether she's earning minimum wage or a member of aristocracy is irrelevant. the key is making the right choice of a marital partner from the outset.

women who earn more than their partners are even the ones more prone to domestic abuse according to some various studies. high income or education works as protection against acts of violence only as far as the income and education does not highly exceed that of the partner

Guy you get time and patience - "R&R" argument is exactly right. Regardless of the "asides" on here, the real point is to have and enjoy cogent discourse. Saying being a SAHM gives rise to DV is an exact parallel of saying skimpy dressing leads to rhape.

Tribalsim, religious hypocrisy, demagogic behaviour historical revisionism, posturing and even attention whoring, can all be overlooked to a degree - it's the obvious lack of smarts and ability to put together a coherent position that really bugs me - and they do it so forcefully too .


TV

mabeni:
not mandatory but very important

Nope - not important and not required.

You've also including #9 & 10 which talk about seed sowing. All giving, is just that for Christians and requires no classification or taxonomy. That is pure religion introduced by men.

Christians give - out of the goodness of their hearts and out of what they have - simple.



TV

mabeni:
***Seek first the Kingdom of God and His Righteousness in all do. Therefore, all things shall be added to you.

2**Obey God, and serve Him with His gifts in your life. Therefore, you shall spend your days in prosperity and pleasure.

3**win souls for Christ

4**Pay Your Tithes Always :for the windows of heaven shall open and pour out blessing for you.
5**Give thanks to God for Everything, Everyday
in everything, give thanks for it is God's will.

6**Praise and worship God for His mercies , graces, Goodness and for the works of His Hands

7**Forgive every offender and give your substance generously to others, particularly the poor.

...eeerr, there are only 7 here and number 4 is not mandatory for Christians.

A mark of 6/12 - please go and do your correction !


TV

Timbuktou:
TV01:


Experiment Shows The Superiority Of The Patriarchy


www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/1xaupa/what_happens_when_you_drop_a_bunch_of_women_on_an/

Below is a link to the original show in Dutch for anyone who's interested.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3uc2EtMhoKU

Well done bro'; just watched it - and read the write-up, just as I remembered.

I certainly appreciate the "men working like slaves" - it's pretty much thus for most men who have families.

And I laughed at "drenched by tropical storms" - just like they come up in here and get "rinsed" by the Femnivores

Bottom line - Patriarchy is the default, anything is is an abberation and unlikely to work large-scale or long-term. And the killer is "because women want it that way".

Looking to give someone a good hosedown today - or I might just take a chunk out of them


TV

DSB:
Why is it that people always blame the the lady for being choosy? What if she is a victim of one of those long time relationship where the guy bailed out at the last hour.

I'm afraid she takes responsibility for that too. A mature, clear thinking woman in an adult relationship, should be able to articualte her expectations and desires. If she ends up in a "long time" relationship that's heading nowhere, she is to blame. Either that, or she is not capable - and therefore shouldn't be - in a grown-up relationship.


TV

Timbuktou:
Found it: Expidite Robinson. Don't speak Dutch unfortunately. Got a mini transcript somewhere, though. Confirming the truth is all.

Abeg share...perhaps in the Boys night out thread if it's more convenient.

Cheers
TV

Onegai:
It is oh so easy to say "must she get married, let her take her time, marriage is not for everyone, don't be desperate, let her have kids outside wedlock" from the comfort and security of your home/marriage/relationship. The complaisance stinks.

I know what is like to stop attending weddings because everyone is hooked up (even those small girls), to avoid your fb page before you go crazy seeing all those updates of happy families whilst you're still in your parents' home, the random times people will just start passing comment on your life or discussing your life publicly (well-meaning but you still wanna die).

OP, it is crazy out there and whatever decision she takes is going to be tough. As someone who said "I will find a man and have my kids without marriage" when that situation stared me in the face, I ran like a person being chased by BH. The reality was different from my calculations. Being a single mum is not something you discuss on NL.

It is one thing to half-heartedly want to get married, it is another to want it with every fibre (for the companionship) and be told "marriage is not for everyone, don't be desperate".

A lot of men in your 30s are going to be unserious about you and once you reach 35, all the married ones will show up to attempt to grace your bed. The beauty of age is that you are now bold enough to ask a man "please what are your intentions" immediately he kisses you. The unserious ones will tell you you're rushing them, the serious ones know your age and will straight up say their mind "I want a casual fling, are you interested? " or "I want more than a casual something, I'm genuinely here". Don't get mad, say thanks and move on (I used to tell them "thanks for being honest with me, I'm looking for more than a fling right now but If I change my mind I will inform you" and no hard feelings).

Let her go out. Let her find a hobby. Do things that take her to continually meet people. I was advised that by a single woman in her 40s. Let her not take men seriously, A MAN IS NOT REAL UNTIL HE DECLARES PUBLICLY YOU TWO ARE DATING. That means she should bone all those midnight chatting and phone calls, they mean nothing until the man declares his mind (I see ladies who dump everything and everyone else in favour of those calls, meanwhile he can wake up and decide to stop calling one day and disappear. Then you waste more time in tears and emotion). Grit your teeth and go out (even when you're not in the mood).

Be cautious of that joining some society in church. I have a lot of male friends and they always made it clear that they used church workers and church attendees as their hunting grounds, since they knew most of those women joined church to meet eligible men. So be friendly but remember, he ain't real till he publicly declares your relationship to all of mankind.

Whatever fun you want to have, go and have it starting from now. Every time you say "I'm too tired to go out to this birthday party/office dinner/whatever function", you are reducing your chances of meeting people (we are no longer in the days of Tobit, husbands don't see you praying in your window and knock your father's door down demanding your hand in marriage ). GO OUT THERE AND ENJOY YOUR LIFE.

If things don't work out, at least you won't have spent your life sitting in one spot, waiting for a bus to arrive that wasn't coming.

I speak from experience and that of my sisters and friends. All the best OP.

I do apologise for quoting the post in its entirety, but this is simply the best post on this thread. It simply smacks of authenticity. Applause - and thank you for articulating something that demonstrates you know exactly what the OPs friend is going through.

I sincerely hope that you got your fairytale ending.

Best


TV^MIC

lolaxavier:
So maybe you should answer the question I have been asking and no one has answered.
If she doesn't agree with her husband's persuasion and decides to vote her choice, is it an act of insubordination? Is it justified that he fights /quarrels with her or chases her out?

Not only has your question been answered, but the way you couched it demonstrates what I consider an odd approach to or understanding of marriage.

TV01:
Perhaps voters consider the issue backward. We are wedded to each other, not a politician or political party. Why are we "convinced" to vote for anyone or anything other than our family' best interest? And even if we do not agree is it in our best interest to separate because of it

If ones worldview is so markedly different from a potential spouses then it's probably a good thing they don't marry. Be it individual votes, or a single household one, I fail to see why a family will not discuss and decide to vote based on the best interests of their family first and foremost.
I previously mentioned how divergent worldviews could be a potential source of conflict/disunity in a marriage regardless of political persuasion;

TV01:
Does one vote per household as I outlined it suggest disunity? However,I would reckon that a large difference in worldview could give rise to marital disunity - however the spouses vote.

And you never answered my questions; what is so sacrosanct about an individual right to vote?

TV01:
The "equal right to vote" is as society has decided, we could also decide on "household right to vote". I have seen nothing to suggest individual right to vote is any better in that it leads to better elected officials or improved governance. You harp on about the right, think about the outcome.

TV^MIC

Timbuktou:
www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1168182/Catfights-handbags-tears-toilets-When-producer-launched-women-TV-company-thought-shed-kissed-goodbye-conflict-.html

Bickering - check
Factions - check
Greed & materialism - check
Gossip & Back-biting - check
Extreme bitchiness - check
Unsubmissiveness - check
Pull Her Down Syndrome - check
No work done - check
Little accomplished - check
Shoulda hired a man to straighten things out - double check

Absolutely nothing unexpected here !


TV

crackhaus:
What do you think should be done regarding the situation where black American men are now looking to other races and nationalities of women just so they can maintain their sanity?

Nothing. It's a market, if black women desire black men and can't get them, they will adjust accordingly. If the black men aren't worth adjusting for, the women are free to look elsewhere - just like the men are.

It's happens a lot in the UK. Over 50/% of black men are with non-black - mostly white - women. The women either go non-black, remain single or share. Dare I say not that many go non-black ! Not least because 1. they are not as coveted by other races as their men are 2. most don't really want to.


TV

Timbuktou:
This paragraph is so damn true. Read a story on dailymail about a feminist who wanted to prove that women could do just as good as men and so she resigned from her workplace in the Us and established her own outfit(all women btw) in London and it was a disaster. Let me try scour for it.

Dude, ther's a classic out there on the net - if you can find it and speak Dutch.

There was a "survivor" type program. So they though of a twist two sets of 8 males and 8 females dropped on different islands. The idea was initially to prove a feminist point. In summary here's what happened;

Men landed on island, quickly identified requirements individual skillsets and got to work. Differences were quickly ironed out and focus was always maintained. Within a week they had shelter, water sourced and fishing/hunting parties on rote.

Women landed on island...bickered...a week later they are still bickering - and have formed factions . Nothing "civilising" has happened. Food supplies have run low...more bickering.

Producers plan to make a 2 for 2 swap or else this production is doomed ! Women literally fight for the righ to join the men. The 2 men join the women. Can't believe the utter shambles. They make like men...the women respond accordingly !

It's worth searching for and reading the English commentary


TV

kay29000:
I have noticed that, in recent times, most marriages break up within 5 years. I have been the best man at two weddings in the last 4 years, and those couples are no longer together. Even some of my family members that got married in the last 10 years are no longer together.

Why is the case of divorce and separation so high these days. And if it is not divorce or separation, you read on Nairaland every day how one wife burnt the husband or cut off his manhood, or how a husband beat his wife to death.

Why is this so rampant these days?

Marriage is all about Foundation! Foundation!! Foundation!!!
And - right from courtship - it should be entered into with understanding & foresight.

OP, let me ask you a question; (you have seen a number of marriages close too you crash) You were best man at two weddings that failed to make 5 years. Be honest with us, did you not see that either one or both of the couples involved were not ready or right for marriage? If so, what did you do? If not what business do you have being best man? And even with hindsight you still can't see what wasn't right?


TV

crackhaus:
No matter how hard they try to scream equality, women will always gravitate towards men that can lord over them financially and sexually.

Whatever their ideological position - it's hard wired Men are not their problem, mother nature is. She wired women to want patriarchy

crackhaus:
Only the true devoted feminists who are so very few in number know exactly what they stand for, not the increasing number of clowns masquerading as feminists that want to be seen as strong and independent but at the same time, want to be offered treats, gifts, and treated like queens by men just to remind themselves how special they are as women. . .
It's a joke really.

Funnily enough, it could kinda work. They'd have to socialise men to believe that treating women as equals was best. But the women would still desire Alphas or even Thugs over their Beta husbands. They then either divorce or cheat or perhaps further socialise them to accept open marriages. http://nypost.com/2015/03/16/i-bedded-12-strangers-in-a-year-with-my-husbands-permission/

crackhaus:
Lmao. . . Thing is, it's women themselves who are mostly responsible for slut shaming and 'virgin shaming' other women This specie just don't know how to get along, with themselves and with men.

I've said it repeatedly, feminism or not, women are the one who mostly shame other women about;

1. Being sluts
2. Being single mums
3. Being single
4. Being old or ageing
5. Not having children
6. Their looks or lack of
7. Their wardrobes or lack of
8. They hate reporting to other women corporately, or supporting them - prefer to report to male bosses

They need men and they need men to run things. Left alone they'd seriously hurt each other and nothing would get done. I'm sure I mentioned the thesis I read about women being incapable of creating civilisations.

Hard gym session. Make I knack chicken and salad jor.


TV

lolaxavier:
What is your point exactly

She thinks that wholesale feminism will cover her sins !


TV

lolaxavier:
I would say your point of view is a text book offering...

Meaning what exactly? That it makes absolute sense, and you can't find an adequate rebuttal !

lolaxavier:
Try to sample a cross section of your married friends and you will be surprised to see that both husband and wife are probably going to vote different candidates

So you make a somewhat lazy assertion that it wouldn't work practically? What if I told you most of the married couples I know share a common worldview of faith and family first - and vote accordingly - they are not wedded to any political ideology or person

lolaxavier:
but that does not imply any form of disunity in their homes.

Does one vote per household as I outlined it suggest disunity? However,I would reckon that a large difference in worldview could give rise to marital disunity - however the spouses vote.

lolaxavier:
No matter how you perceive it, politics rests on ideology and you can't be an authoritarian in this case. It is not all situation in the family that will warrant you to dictate what your spouse must do. These are instances where she can also have rights to her views.

What I outlined was not authoritarian, it was not dictatorial and neither did it deny anyone rights - why are you mis-ascribing my position?

lolaxavier:
Trying to do persuade is an indirect way of suppressing her opinions and you are also indirectly creating a scenario that might lead to quarrel/dissatisfaction.

Who said persuade?,or suppress? Where did I say it even had to be the heads decision?

If they discuss with their vested family interests in mind, why won't they come to a common conclusion? Even if they don't come to a common conclusion, that does not mean they cannot agree on who the household should vote for.

The "equal right to vote" is as society has decided, we could also decide on "household right to vote". I have seen nothing to suggest individual right to vote is any better in that it leads to better elected officials or improved governance. You harp on about the right, think about the outcome.

You've not made a convincing argument against or answered any of the questions I posed. Thnaks all the same.


TV

lolaxavier:
You are only referring to a situation where both ended up agreeing to a conclusion. What if it is otherwise?

If they discuss with their vested family interests in mind, why won't they come to a common conclusion? Even if they don't come to a common conclusion, that does not mean they cannot agree on who the household should vote for.

lolaxavier:
If I have a wife at this stage and she is trying to convince me to vote for GEJ, I will definitely not even listen not to talk of reaching a conclusion. In that case, will you send her packing?

Perhaps voters consider the issue backward. We are wedded to each other, not a politician or political party. Why are we "convinced" to vote for anyone or anything other than our family' best interest? And even if we do not agree is it in our best interest to seperate because of it

lolaxavier:
This has nothing to do with any autonomy. Everyone has equal rights when it comes to voting. If your wife feels GEJ has ruined this country, you certainly have no right to force her to vote GEJ.

To my mind, it is indeed evidence of the progressive autonomy that's being pursued.

The "equal right to vote" is as society has decided, we could also decide on "household right to vote". I have seen nothing to suggest individual right to vote is any better in that it leads to better elected officials or improved governance. You harp on about the right, think about the outcome.


TV

pickabeau1:
What do you think those measures are
Remember this is manifestation of the inborn adamic nature of rebellion

I think my faith, worldview and beliefs regards marriage and family have been clearly enunciated. Call it traditional if you will, but at least we know those things worked and led to the desired outcomes, in fact they helped quell the adamic nature, or it's excesses to a degree.

I'm always keen to hear others and see evidence that they will improve things. The move now appears to be towards liberal autonomy. That is essentially an individualistic pursuit of selfish interests. I don't see how widescale healthy families and flourishing desires can ever be built on that basis.


TV^MIC

pickabeau1:
this is getting into the naija setting gradually as more people become more economically stable and the effects of the bad name this country has/had is being washed out

We are certainly seeing it in Naija. One of the main differences/restrainers for now is the lack of a welfare state and the fact that men still mostly command the flow of money. But at the margins we see more wilful baby mamaring, serial monogamy and polygamy, open and flagrant diggery, sugary etc. all becoming more acceptable - there is even a rising chorus for normalising SSU.

pickabeau1:
The next generation will believe less and less in marriage

As successive generations have been doing for a while now. Lessening belief in marriage comes as a consequence of two things - which may be combined; 1. Lessening understanding of what marriage is and is for 2. Lessening faith (religious adherence).

pickabeau1:
I imagine one day fathers will be telling their sons to have a prenup before they tie d knot (I mean middle class people)

I don't think pre-nups are either here or there - at best ther are remedial action. What is required is preventative measures to restore equilibrium and harmony in marriages.


TV^MIC

Good question.
I don't see why the "head" of the household can't or necessarily shouldn't.

It worked that way in the past in some societies - there was only 1 vote per household and the head cast it.
What reasons would there be for a united household to have different views on who should be elected to government office?

If my wife and I have similar worldviews and progressive desire for our families, what's to stop us scrutinising the aspirants and coming to a conclusion as to what's best for us and our children?

I don't have anything per se against universal sufferage, but that's not to say it's somehow better. It also speaks the "autonomy" that is gripping us now. Possibly diluting the power of family and community, by pitting them against each other in an ideological sense.


TV^MIC

pickabeau1:
Tv01

that you r both right is not in doubt however I don't think the converse is a sin which was my point

Implying something to be a sjn is my point
This is a recommendation

Not a sin

However you look at it, whatever your perspective, a Christian cannot pursue a polygamous lifestyle - that would be sinful - if you come to Christianity a polygamist, that's another matter.

You cannot read polygamy as permissable into the Christian scriptures.


TV

FrancisTony:
See, eh. I'm a Christian but still reason logically.

I'll never be beclouded by any religious book but I still believe in Jesus.

...and who said that being a Christian means abandoning God given faculties of reason

Believing is one thing, following is another.

Go in peace.


TV

crackhaus:
One of the women on there even made reference to an instance where a woman earning $75,000 per annum is with a man earning less than $50,000 and they just can't get along.

Which blows the whole equality notion out of the water. I remember one lady in the video saying if she mad 6 figures, any partner had to make at least 5.

For eons men have been marrying wives who have earned relatively less. Marriage has worked. Families have been happy. A woman who earns big is now demanding a minimum from a potential partner. WHy can;t she carry him financially like men have always done?

crackhaus:
Lmao. . . They are who.res because they want to party and have fun?

I hope you realize you just called like 80% of young Nigerian women who.res as well...

Nor mind feminists. Where is Shollypopz? Slut shaming is anti-feminist. Women should never be called out for, or asked to justify how and what they use their bodies for. In fact feminsits are now "virgin shaming" - i.e. trying to justify or exorcise their slutty pasts.


TV