₦airaland Forum

carefreewannabe:
I have seen many disgusting people and places in my life. I didn't know it was a matter of hetero- or homose*xuality.

If it's not a matter of "hetero" or "homo", why do homos demand rights based on their homosexuality?


TV

crackhaus:
Sir TV01, acknowledging your mention...

Exercise:
This is important for total well-being, no two ways about it.
There are many different ways to go about it, building biceps or sculpting abs are the aesthetic aspect of it.

Walking, running, and just any activity that increases blood flow is a good enough exercise as long as it's done consistently.

For the guys like me who prefer gaining extra muscle tone, a work out routine has to be figured out and conveniently adhered to - going to a gym may not be convenient for most people, and in such cases it's okay to discipline oneself in a self-help/home workout regimen.

I personally have dumbells - it's effective for me in the sense that I don't have to stick to a time frame or set/reps number.
I also advise doing press ups everyday, this is important - at least two sets of 50rep pushups a day is good for starters....if 50reps seems too much to accomplish for a beginner, it can be broken down into five sets of 10reps with not too long breaks in-between.

Having a dumbell in hand also works well, as it can be added into the routine - sit ups too can be included for those seeking well defined packs.
The use of dumbells come in many different styles/positions, netsose already touched on that so I won't go into that.


On a normal workout day for me, I start with the dumbells doing one set of 50reps...then immediately go down to press ups in one set of 100reps - I take a break and repeat.
This particular routine is not done everyday though, neither is it only in the mornings. Sometimes right before bed when I remember I haven't done any workout that day, I just get down and do press ups only then head back to bed.

If I were obsessed over bulking up, I would definitely do more - so this routine above is for those who just want to be fit with the added perk of gaining some chest/back width, as well as some muscle mass on the biceps.
Sometimes I do pull ups too, but not as often as the other two.

Every other exercise I feel I require is taken care of by engaging in leisure activities - swimming, football... I don't skip though, never really got the hang of it.

More suggestions are welcome.

The point so far is that going to a professional gym on the regular is not the only or most effective way... if that's what the person desires however, he can go ahead - if I had the time, I would register with one but at home and at my own convenience works perfectly.

Dumbells can be bought or made, bench with long handle weights attached can also be made if that's what you're into.
I have a friend who has one at his place, we play with it from time to time.


****
I apologize if my post seems rushed, I decided I must respond to this mention tonight - I may not be able to do so tomorrow considering my schedule.

Exactimundo - find what works for you. Work to your own goals. Simple. That's a man, charting his own course.


TV

Nonso23:
About the exercise i'm still too too young to be bothered about bellies but nontheless i hate excessive muscles and will rather just be fit than become a bag of muscles. Currently I'm not actively exercising. Body still dey in order.

Being healthy and fit isn;t really about muscles - at best they are a secondary effect. It's about being physically capable, alert and performing at your best and setting yourself up for L/T good health.

Nonso23:
About the open marriage ish. I gladly will endorse it. By 50 and above a lot women will have their sex appeal at a very near zero ebb while the attractiveness of men will sorta skyrocket. It is a fact. Nothing to be bothered about. Besides is it a wrinkled, shrivelling 40 something year old woman that will land a standard hot 20 something year old when younger girls are not short in supply?

Leave that thing jor. women love fantasizing. Pity the real world is not fantasy. We know who will gain and lose in that kind of arrangement.\
I am even thinking about putting up a thread about it self. i just dey check NL family section weather for now.

Obviously I can't endorse it, but totally agree that if men are savvy, there can only be one winner in that game. Like who currently has all the benefits from polygamy? It remains a mans world .


TV

Timbuktou:
Lovely that you bring this up TV01. Been recently trying to resume a regimen after a couple of years off after having a nasty injury. Since then, it's been running basically. I don't eat much so I lost a whole lot of muscle and fat and I've been away from home for the better part of a year .

Hope you are fully recovered. Take it easy and work your way back. Systematically, progressively. It's certainly worth it long-term.

I developed this niggly problem in my lefty calf. Overdid it on a holiday some years back and it just never settled. As a result, I haven't run properly for about 3 -4 years. Really aiming to get back into it this year

Timbuktou:
Anyway, I'm eager to get back to healthy ways. I'm kinda wary of too much bulk, as a result, I used to be D'angelo-ish. When I get back home, which is about a month from now , will get a membership and pile on till I'm back to where I would like to be. For now, though, it's push-ups, crunches and running. Don't want to get too skinny

As I mentioned in an earlier post, short of dedicating yourself to lifting heavy weights and possibly drug enhancement, it's won't happen. It's good that you do what you can pending a return to normalcy - it all helps. I envy your running sha! Keep us posted on progress.

A man who is fit and healthy has an edge that can't be faked.

Timbuktou:
Meanwhile, per the open marriage thread , I guess my bullshiit radar went into a frenzy. The motive was so blatant, I mean, if not practicable interest, I noticed a fantasy out of reach, perhaps, a lost opportunity. . However, we still have to accept people at their word sometimes, don't we?

I was just laughing - sometimes it's better to let them mouth off, as they spew all sorts and it can be downright hilarious. All marriages are boring. Like spinsterhood or divorce is a F/T bundle of laughs. And the searching questions as to modalities - some beta may well have it coming !

Timbuktou:
Same with the soft porn frenzy/emancipation. The hamster is at work in us all, but on the other side, I find it totally amusing and there seems to be no intent to quiet it, seems to me to be pleasurably dangerous like a diabetic on a steady diet of coke and cake. No wonder we are here to keep things real. Let me quit rambling here. I'd rather learn from veterans such as yourself.

Sir, it was hillarious! Funny how left uninterrupted their rationalisations go into overdrive. Veteran ke? A blind man would see it . The man she cheated with morphed into a "love god" and they almost tingled each other into comas

The bible says "one does not hope for what one sees, or else why hope". If they could obtain such men on a regular or permanently, why would they fantasize about them?

I have no doubt what they, or their men - those that have them - are in terms of looks/fitness. Why won't it be boring !


TV

netotse:
Mennnn that diet is a difficult one o...I need to start cooking though. We get fed lunch at work, breakfast is mostly bread and akara (it's like a ritual among the engineers and technician, someone buys and we all share), I'm usually too tired to cook when I get back (not like I can cook sef ). Have at most a year of Bachelorhood left though...lol.

First port of call diet wise is to cut out too much of the wrong type of food and increase the right type. Swap red meat for fish and/or chicken. Increase veg and fruit intake. Hydrate properly - with water, not palm wine

It's a good thong to have routines set-up and refined place before marriage, then you can modify them according to the demands, whilst still getting your work outs.

netotse:
yep, the changes are there...I fill out my clothing now, cant claim buff because of the tummy though . One of my colleagues wife (who's also a colleague) remarked I was growing "breasts"...lol. You're right about the benefits though.

Hand held weights and press-ups will certainly help define your chest, arms and back. They won't however do much in the way of shedding fat - which is what you need to do to get that flat stomach/6 pack.

netotse:
When the 10kg Dumbells become too light I'll move to 20kg then stop there, not looking to become too large though.

Without dedicating yourself almost solely to lifting, drugs or eating like the hulk, you won't ever get too big for your frame - no worries. You just need to increase cardio to reduce fat and slim down in the middle.

Instead of increasing the size, just do more reps - reps are better for toning, more weight for size.

netotse:
I remember the pic of you skipping you posted once...lol. How do you build up to skipping 20mins plus without tripping over the rope? I tend to tangle my feet after getting to 50reps or so...once or twice in a session I make hundred. Makes skipping less interesting. Most of the material online just says skip for so and so...na so e easy reach?

20 mins is not that much, anything less than 30 mins I don't consider a proper workout - or will count it as warming up. Everyone gets the odd tangle - sometimes you can just zone out sef - but resuming is a split second and does not affect the workout. Skipping is all in the wrist and ankles, nor the shoulders.

NL is taking larger files now, so I'll try and post the whole thing. It will give better insights into technique and form

netotse:
Running ke? the standard excuse is if something now happens to me in this village what will I tell people I was doing...running for fun abi? . Seriously though...running isn't an option here.

why wouldn't using a treadmill be as good as running? I downloaded a ton of videos from Khan Academy and I figure I can do two things at once.

Running free is the best. treadmills are good, just not as good. In fact, I can't truly say that categorically - some people prefer treadmills. But they can more than do the job if that's what you have. I would seriously get that rowing machine back into action - mix it up with the treadmill. One or both of these will solve the belly issue. But high intensity, sweat is your proof - build up gradually though.

netotse:
Also, I'm not quite sure how to tie-in my man makers with the lifting and skipping, you mentioned thrice weekly work outs, can you shed a bit more light?

I'll post my workout - but essentially you can build a circuit out of what you have.

5 mins skipping, 5 mins on the rowing machine, then 5 mins on the treadmill. In between each five minute set do ten man makers.
Repeat, but in between, do 10 press ups. Repeat, but in between do 10 burpees proper.

Try and mix the exercises so you are not overworking one part of the body, but kkep the pace high. You can take 30/60 second breaks to start but look to vastly reduce or eliminate these.

You can vary as suits, and scale up as you get fitter


TV

^{**Jamaica a few years back**}

An0nimus:
Yes

Used to be slim too. Now there's 'the belly' and I fear it could get worse. No equipment around neither can I use a gym atm. The little push ups and sit ups I do are sporadic.

How effective is the skipping?

Both those exercises are a start but by themselves wont get you fit.

Skipping is great - once you get the hang of it. And of course it's high on convenience.

In lieu of access to a gym or any equipment, it sounds like body weight exercises and jogging/running may be your best options. Running preferably on grass or sand.

You can actually worth through a series of burpees, star jumps, tuck jumps, squats,bunny hops etc. in succession with brief rest periods and obtain a great workout. Try outube for further ideas.

Review your diet and cutting down/out booze is always a good idea.


TV

I've learned a few things over the years

1. find out what works for you
2. Adopt a systematic approach - there are no quick fixes to long term gains or health
3. Priper diet plays a huge role in fitness
4. High intensity makes a huge difference

netotse:
I used to be skinny but now I'm filling out. Belly's starting to bulge I live in a rural area so a proper gym isn't accessible. Bought some exercise stuff, most of which I dont use

At least you have it in mind and even better have acted.

netotse:
The routine I'm most serious with is:

10kg in each hand -Bench 20reps
10kg one hand at a time- Bicep curls 14reps
6kg one hand at a time - overhead triceps curls 20 reps

I do the routine 3 times in a row. I aim for 4 days a week.

Are you seeing changes/gains/improvement?

netotse:
I plan to start doing renegade man makers, they are modified [url=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Burpee_%28exercise%29]burpees[/url], I would recommend them. Try doing ten in a row and you would understand why...lol.

Burpees are the daddy - a great body weight exercise. Good for everything. I use them in 2 of my 3 weekly workouts. I watch the video after posting. I'll also post my Tuesday kettlebell/circuit session.

netotse:
I try to skip once in a while but I'm far from faithful with that , I rarely use my rowing machine but I've relocated it to somewhere I see it more frequently so hopefully I will be more inspired. You can see I dont do a lot of cardio...not sensible right?

My background is amateur boxing, so I know all about skipping. When in Nigeria it's the only piece of kit I take/use. 30 mins in the early morning sun is a great start to the day. The rope never makes it home with me sha! Someone always nabs it. Happy to see it helping someone

I've never been a big rower, but it's a great exercise - proven to be possibly the best al round one except maybe swimming?

I'm also a huge fan of cardio. But note that my body type means I like the results

netotse:
Planning to start saving to buy a treadmill , that way I can watch stuff on TV and exercise at the same time.

I honestly don't think a treadmill will be an improvement on a rowing machine. Especially with skipping as an alternate. I'd recommend running - preferably on grass or sand.

netotse:
One of my major issues with exercise is that I don't like exercises that require all my attention. after a while I feel I should be reading or doing something more serious.

Advice would be very welcome.

You'll like the results. And it helps in the masculine attributes of strenght, boldness, clear thinking, virtue and honour.

Hope this helps but let me know about specifics.


TV

The whole notion of "homosexual" and it’s derivatives – i.e. homophobia - are deceptive ideological constructs and do not bear real scrutiny. Anyone that did more than meekly accept the false premises used to pivot such arguments would immediately see that.

Human beings are sexed male and female. Males and females are sexually complimentary to and with each other – evidenced by the procreative aspects of their physical union.

Opposite sex attraction is rightly considered normal – whilst same sex attraction is simply abnormal. Using the counter-distinct terms heterosexual and homosexual merely serves to legitimise an inherent disorder.

So called hets and homos are in no way functionally different from one another. So all we need and should have is a notion of human rights. There is no need – other than ideologically – for any notion of gay rights.

Having said that, I fully expect and actively support – be the claim nature or nurture – those who identify as “homosexual” having full human rights, just like everyone else. Likewise, I believe those that find homosexuals to be morally repugnant to have every right to their beliefs.

I do not support a separate set of rights simply due to identification as homosexual. Neither do I see why issues discussed with “homosexuals” should always be viewed from a point of their sexual practice.

The homosexual lifestyle as found in humans is not found anywhere in nature. Even the behaviours forcibly described as homosexual rarely stand close examination. Animals are driven by instinct. Infanticide is rife in nature - so what?

Marriage for example is distinctive in being a male/female union – and for a number of obvious reasons. I do not agree to the re-definition of marriage to affirm homosexual behavour. Call that what you please.


TV

Holá,

Been having a read of some threads and thought it would be good to touch on some issues;

1. Exercise - what do people currently do? Is it sporadic, systematic or totally non-existent. What works? Waht are the issues we face in terms of accessibility, facitilites and convenience? Are people aware how imprtant and the difference this can make are. Is anyone wanting to make gains here but in need of advice or support?

Pickabeau1, I'm tagging you here, as I recall you were starting a programme (skipping) some time back.


2. Hypergamy again. Timbuktou, tagging you on this one. I saw how you spotted the rationalisation that women go through when they are scheming. "Innocently" asking questions about open marriages (without scrutinising the premise or the motivator) certainly suggests thats what was at play.

Likewise the way they rationalised their love for soft-porn ! Surely if they could avail themselves of such men long-term, why not just do it, instead of fantasising about what they can't get - and not least because the men in qustion can simply procure better quality women.

It also speaks to the "men seek the best girl they can get" vs. "women all feel they deserve the best men there are" dichotomy.

Ihedinobi, Crackhaus, 5minsmadness, An0nimus, Netostse, Nonso23, Njokusboy, Coogar(where are you sef?)


TV

Sophyrocks:
Dnt allow my boo trace you down and catch you!

Sophy, Sophy, Sophy . Please spill and let us jolly jolly and merry make . A whole "boo". It sounds serious? Oya, whats the scoop?

Sophyrocks:
Hehehe. In a relationship o. not married.

https://www.google.co.uk/#q=put+a+ring+on+it

TV

^{**changes dp**}

carefreewannabe:
Let me show you one messy society full of anomalies that does not flourish despite the high importance of the traditional family unit: Nigeria.

Whatever Nigerias issues - and they are manifold - the moving away from the traditional family unit will only worsen things. And that move is being exacerbated by aping Western ideologies/practices.

carefreewannabe:
Despite.

As I've explained previously, having a few exceptions on the margins will not overly affect a nations flourishing if traditional marriage remains the prevailing norm. However, let things such as de-facto relationships start to gain a real foothold and the problems will soon start to manifest. Hope you are proud of the fact that you are helping to seed Germany' ruin. Don't worry Pegida will soon turn their sights on you .

carefreewannabe:
No, it's rather you who makes oversimplified conclusions.

We know you too well Carefree - "we have a "relationship" - you lime to deploy your "oversimplification" assertion without offering any of your own, let alone a more detailed analysis. It's a ruse you use to weasel out of positions. You shoul dstick to gif and emoticons - at least there was some humour content with those.


TV

kandiikane:
I pursued the point of pregnancy because it was the point raised in regards to the link you posted. My initial post which you quoted was about the readiness and age for sex...

And the point of my post was that sex before what you would consider "readiness" in Western countries - e.g. the UK - is forced by the culture and tacitly endorsed by the government - if they can have sex, why can't they marry? Not that I endorse either.

kandiikane:
I disagree that the state endorses sex to teens, the uk endorses more freedom and gives more rights to children than other countries hence why it cannot force children to not have sex. That is not their job, their job is to stop adults from having sex with kids.

I find this statement all kinds of garbled;

What freedom and rights does the UK afford children - or do children need - that other nations do not? What are these rights that should not be determined by their parents under whose authority they are?

And those rights include not being able to "force children not to have sex" - when sex under 16 is statutory rape? If theie job is to stop adults having sex with kids, why does a sexually active and precocious teenager qualify as a kid?

kandiikane:
Majority of countries that mostly practice teen marriages are those which have been forced, only a few practice teen and teen.

Is it solely practice, or what is permissable - the countries you slag off are not in any appreciable way different from most others
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Age_of_marriage_in_United_States_of_America
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marriageable_age

kandiikane:
I'm confused about how exactly does giving sexually active kid's contraception and protection relate to becoming sex slaves. That makes no sense at all.

A culture that sexualises children (or at the least as you note is complicit in their sexual activity) is what gave rise to the conditions where that could take place - in full glare of the parents and authorities. These young girls - officially 1'400, but independent sources say as many as x10 more - were abused, raped and trafficked.

In fact the only issue here is that many were under 16, if the perpetrators had been a bit smarter they could have gotten clean away. The parents were helpless due to the so called "freedoms" they afford their children, and being more concerned with the consequences of sex, rathe r than the morality of it.

The authorities were idealogically hamstrung by nonsense such as "consent", as initiation was often carried out by younger teenage males. And the kids were easy prey, not being mature enough to see beyond the wiles, feigned affection and cheap gifts used to seduce them. Alcohol and drugs were also employed - another right afforded youngsters How would you make sense of what happened?

kandiikane:
A case of teenage sex slaves is much more likely in places where the system is not strong enough to deter sexual abuse which tends to happen more in developing countries than developed countries. You are more likely to come across an adult who was abused as a child in a developing country more frequently than you would in a developed country

Slander - when it is so rampant in the UK it's essentially a nation of Fiddlers & gays. It reaches to the highest levels and is merely covered up. it so endemic, it's literally culturally embedded.

Were is the 3rd worlds Jimmy Savile? Or The priest abuse scandal, or evidence of paedophile rings amongst the highest echelons of government. Timbuktou is right - stop slandering our people. We have our issues, but morally the West is not better.

kandiikane:
That is not even the point. My point is grown ass men knowing who they should be sleeping with and who they shouldn't be. Even if there aren't laws to state an age of consent, I wholehearted believe one would be able to decipher that it feels somehow wrong/different to sleep with a small child because their mental capacity has grown to know the difference between a grown woman to a child.

I don't in anyway dispute this - however, you contradict yourself when you speak of rights and freedoms for children which include being sexually active. And by the way, most Western sex education is moving towards teaching youngsters that it's normal for them to be sexually active and encouraging them to explore their sexuality.

kandiikane:
The only exception I would give abit of leeway to are unexposed cultures, those where a teenage boy or girl marry each other. At least, they still have not reached that full mental maturity where they know that they are not ready. But, where many are now being educated, there is no excuse at all.

Answered - there are very few jurisdictions where teenagers are not allowed to marry.

kandiikane:
Just because the government gives out condoms to kids does not mean it is ok to have sex with a kid. I would prefer a government that gives condoms to teens to prevent disease and pregnancy but makes an effort to stop adults from having sex with kids than a government that fails to protect the sexually active and barely lifts a finger to stop adults from having sex with kids.

Answered - repeatedly. Andit not merely "condom distribution"- they arrange contraception and abortions for children as young - or younger - than 12. Without parental consent or knowledge. Western governments tacitly endorse and are starting to teach children to be sexually active. Despite their own statutes. When a teenager becomes sexually active and precocious, whose to say they are still kids in that regard?

I also note the total lack of any moral judgement on teenagers having sex - just that it should be policed to stop them being exploited? So why are you taking Obowunmi to task - after all, he has been harping on consent between adults

kandiikane:
There is a difference between a law being passed and a law being enforced.

Regardless of the law, it's immoral for youngsters to be having sex - more so out of wedlock.


TV

Shirley07:
Your kids?
They will look for their mum in the end. To a child, a mother is worth more than a father. There's no equality afterall.

I get it, whilst away, you were growing your sense of delusion !

I hope the final solution for your case is not 7th wife !


TV

Timbuktou:
Shirley, you sound like a short person. That's by the way, anyway. How's work/school? What have you been up to?

Not just short, but she also possesses a ballistic anger and a tongue like a drunken sailor.

We are praying hard for her to find a man to take her under authority .


TV

kandiikane:
Can you specify exactly what is not true in my post?

This is not the case of endorsing intercourse but protecting those who have actually started doing it. Obviously, in general sense it will look like they are pushing young kids to have sex but for one, young kids do not think they shouldn't have sex because they can get pregnant, there are loads of different factors and non-factors were either their brain is just not ready for them to start thinking about how it would feel for a man to be in them or if they have 'boyfriends' they are either scared or even just not ready.
Pregnancy has always been the least of a 12 year old's concern, if it was, they won't have the highest rate of teen pregnancies hence why the government is pushing contraception to those that have started at 12.

A case of prevention is better than cure. The government can only do so much, the rest lies in the hands of us ordinary people who must ensure that there shouldn't be any reason to be sleeping with a 12 year old or a 12year old having sex to even need the implants.

Your pursue a point about the prevention of pregnancy, which correct in a sense, as it is what the State is concerned about. But the true issue is about the age/readiness for sex (and by impliction in some cultures the readiness for marriage).

The whole of Western culture predisposes children to sexual promiscuity and as I said the State winks/tacitly endoreses that. I don't see that as any better than a culture that practices teen marriage. In fact, I see it as worse. It's how you end up with issues like young children in Rotherham being used as sex slaves.

TV

carefreewannabe:
Show me a society without "anomies".

Show me one where it isn;t to a large degree attributable to the breakdown in the traditional family unit

carefreewannabe:
Why not?

Millions of people live in de-facto / informal marriages in Germany and the society is thriving and many more will in future.

Germany got to where it is - in recent history - on the back of de facto relationships?

As ever you miss historical causality, broader and longer-term implications and focus on the the immediate gratification. Germany flourished on the back of a strong "volk culture" which was underpinned by traditional marriage. You incorrectly overlook the benefits of this and then wrongly imply that weakening that or replacing it with a facsimile relationship will have no impact.


TV

carefreewannabe:
Not a wrong one but one that is inconvenient for you as it destroys one of your main arguments that marriages, in which women are inferior, help societies to flourish.

I have never claimed women are inferior in marriage. As a married man, I certainly don't consider my wife inferior.

And marriage does underpin a flourishing society. Show me a society that has rejected marriage and I will show you one where the seeds of anomie have already set in.

Or is it your nebulous "I'm in a relationship" concept that builds societies .


TV

^{**Sophyrocks, you are here - spill 0! Quickly changes dp again **}

kandiikane:
The only country I know of where the age of consent is 12 is angola and for the fact that I am educated about the female body, it is wrong and irresponsible regardless of what the age of consent says. What tjrn stops that 40year old sleeping with a 9 year old who looks like the 12 year old?
In your mind now, if you travel to angola you are ok to toast a 12/13 year old who probably hasn't started menstruating yet with one boob still yet to grow?
Anyhow, I am not surprised when in our part of the world, you can easily have sex with a 5 year old and nothing fit happen to you. But I can assure you no normal thinking educated father would want someone sleeping with his 12 year old regardless of what the age of consent is.

I agree with your premise , but it's not true. There are Western liberal nations that wink - if not outright legally endorse - at intercourse with children. Even if it's with one another. But morally, how can you argue for a mature adult to not have intercourse with a juvenile, if another juvenile can?

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2736517/Children-young-12-given-contraceptive-implants-making-vulnerable-abuse-sexual-exploitation.html


TV

carefreewannabe:
Nigeria then is an exception, isn't it?

No, you bolded the wrong part of my post

TV01:
You can see it in lots of the posts here. Granted, there are things badly practiced and abuses, but the core models and morés are what works best - for most individuals and more pertinently for society as a whole.
I feel for them, but more for those who are in situations that don't afford them the same leeway but choose to tread the same path. I also had to seek answers. I hope they find them before it's too late. Hitting the wall or working with unrealistic expectations can be very painful.

TV

Timbuktou:
Heheehe. All I had to do was reframe my persona and there was a corresponding adjustment on the other side. Have to say I was/am favoured to have the kinda wife I have. Which is why I don't hate the players or the game, I simply got with the program.

I'd rather the hard way to learning. Hehehehe

Finding the right type of woman is key. And mature men know what that is - even if they haven't got their frame fully worked out.

I long for a time when men marry the right type of women for the right reasons. And all those women who think their looks, education, wealth, family pedigree, ability to catwalk, grasp of liberal ideology etc. means they can overthrow norms, simply get left on the shelf.

Open hypergamy is so bad in the West now that it's practiced openly and men are becoming socialised accordingly.

We'll see how it al lpans out. But women will bear the brunt - and may well reverse and demand the change.


TV

obowunmi:
Does research support this hypothesis?

Research, plain fact, natural conditions and human nature.

Sure a man with the means and charisma may be happily married to 2 or more wives.

But;

1. Would the women be as happy as if they had him all to themselves? Or put another way, would they prefer to share as opposed to choose too - if the circumstances were different? It denies women full agency

2. At a natural ratio of about 106 men to 100 women (to smooth the riskier lives and earlier deaths men tend to experience), it would cause an imbalance in wider society. Polygamy never prevails, even where it is permitted.

At best polygamy is an abberant form of marriage which may prove useful in times of real societal distress.


TV

Timbuktou:
Painful, indeed. I also had to find out the haarrrrd way. Already married, in fact. So, imagine my dilemma and subsequent awakening. I speak of things I have practised and lived not regurgitating some strange distant theory.

Already married? You tried 0! It simply took me that much longer to actually get married. Alls well that ends well sha!

I often say (in boxing), there are two ways to learn, the hard way and the painful way - take your pick. But getting this wrong can be hard and painful.

Timbuktou:
I'm not too particular about women, though. My concern is channelled towards men as we are the default leaders of society. Throwing away our mantle of authority on the alter of pseudo-equality does noone any favours.

Likewise.


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Timbuktou:
It apparently hasn't functioned to the point of noticing that women generally/mostly/would rather/tend to marry up given the choice, of course. You don't have to follow this submission blindly, do the research yourself. Research, after all, is an activity carried out by people with functional brains.

Who would deny this? And all the attendant implications?

What I'd really like to see is someone who lives in this alternate universe come and tell us all about it .


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Timbuktou:
Egbon, don't mind this gyal. She apparently hasn't read 2Cor 13:8. I think, deep down, she's looking for answers, or at least, trying to confirm or sway her outlook. I'm only tryna help a sister.

You can see it in lots of the posts here. Granted, there are things badly practiced and abuses, but the core models and morés are what works best - for most individuals and more pertinently for society as a whole.

I feel for them, but more for those who are in situations that don't afford them the same leeway but choose to tread the same path. I also had to seek answers. I hope they find them before it's too late. Hitting the wall or working with unrealistic expectations can be very painful.


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Timbuktou:

You probably long since realised that Carefreewannabe assumes that as she is well educated, highly paid and able to live an independent life in a liberal progresssive country, the age-old biological and cultural imperatives, and nuances of the male/female dynamic no longer apply to her - or at least can be re-ordered to her wishes.


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esere826:
A) On my own part, I think there are at least two sets of people when it comes to study.
-The first set accepts anything that comes to them and build their knowledge base within this.
-The 2nd set challenge assumptions, and look out for gaps. The goal is not to destroy the mineral being mined, but to chip at the rough edges and dirt until the diamond within glitters really good.

And perhaps a third, who find a stoneel that is seemingly perfect, then spot some apparent imperfections. They then focus on these imperfections to the exclusion of all else, eventually discarding it as flawed.

Or to put it another way, if your top of the range performance car is scratched, or painted a gaudy colour or unduly customised, it remains a top of the range performance car.

esere826:
As the 2nd set of studiers improve a body of knowledge, they pass it on to the 1st set who finally accept it as the defacto guide book.
Every season, every age, scholars are busy working on the bible which they present in the form of versions such as NIV, KJV etc

We are thus 2 different sets of people. The first which are in majority don't bother themselves with suspicions
The 2nd which are a small minority are curious and suspicious of many things and seek to find answers. Some end up becoming atheists, others become a different breed of Christians from the mainstream.

Maybe the third as I've described are the atheists as you've put it. But they are not seeking to polish the diamond, merely discard it as worthless.


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frosbel:

Frosbel hi,

So you are growing in understanding, recieving revelation perhaps. But it would help if you fully digested and articualted before you rushed to proclaim.

What is your point here? Do women keep quiet in church - anywhere? Or are you questioning the role paradigm practiced in some churches? If indeed you are challenging notions of authority, and of the difference in roles between men and women - in home, church and society - simply say so.

And don't just beg the question, show by a clear articulation of scripture what should actually be the case. Lots of assertions about things being added, omitted or mis-transcribed, merely questions the integrity of the bible itself, not just individual doctrines or positions.

It's this kind of re-interpretation, redaction and innovative textual interpretaion that allows some to claim even homosexuality is a blessing as opposed to a disorder. And it's worth noting that to get to the point of "christianising homosexuality", what the bible said about male/female roles had to be recast first - we'll see where you end up with this.

I'd really like to hear your outline what is right - especially in this instance - as opposed to merely shouting we've got it wrong. So for example, are men and women supposed to have the same/equal/interchangeable roles in the home or church?


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giffty:
What do you do when you wife earns much more
than you do ?
Join the discussion here, i would love to hear your
views.

Thank God, sit back and chill a lil'. Maintain your frame as head of the family.

Money ain't a thang...as you young people say !


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carefreewannabe:
Nobody asks you to climb a mountain. It's not your life but mine.

True

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^{**Sophyrocks - for the third time, I'm asking you to come and update us about this chap saying hi, hi** changes dp again !}

carefreewannabe:
I am in a relationship.

If it's not marriage, it ain't marriage.

I not climbing any mountain for a mere relationship ,


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^{**Sophyrocks, please present your suitor to us - full story 0** changes dp again !}

Sophyrocks:
I'm taken.

Sophy, Sophy, Sophy, hold it right there!

How can you drop such momentous news - and so blithely
You mean we should be jubilating and jollying ?
Such good news so early in the new year?

I can't believe nobody jumped on this? I haven't been paying attention, so maybe you've announced it already?

The one we have been ontop mountain for - answered prayer you no talk

Come, who is the lucky somebody? Does he know the ting wey he carry

Oya full gist please! Before I return to the mountain top

Carefreewannabe and Shirley07 - it remain you both 0!

Sorry to derail, but I just have too...

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^{**quickly changes dp in celebration **}

...I guess it's bad when they ask "WBDI...", but infinitely worse when nobody answers !


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^{**whose bish dis is?**}