₦airaland Forum

Loool!

umehmj:
From St. Bottles Cathedral;

RULES 4 THOSE WHO WILL BE DRINKING BUT NOT BUYING DURING THIS FESTIVE PERIOD:

1. Respect the buyer; Greet the buyer before you sit.

2. Don't be boring, tell more stories but don't talk more than the buyer.

3. Always help the buyer with carrying beers from the counter.

4. Dance to any music that the buyer likes.

5. Buyer's jokes are always funny so laugh out loud.

6. When the buyer fights, fight.

7. Wait for the buyer to finish his drink before you open another one, no matter how fast you drink. When the buyer stops drinking, stop too.

8. Always drink cheaper drinks than what the buyer drinks (No Heineken for you when he is drinking life)

9. You drink what the buyer wants you to drink.

10. The buyers gal has 2b more beautiful than ur gal if vise visa, the buyer will automatically have ur gal.

11. If the buyer says he had a funeral last year. the mother died u shud cry uncontrollably while u are crying u will hear the buyer say give this man 5 more bottles, he's lost too much water! Lmao!

12. If u ar watching football, support the buyers team even if its arsenal.

Signed: Chief Priest

rozayx5:
u dey mindam. some few APC touts celebrating.. if its this same uyo wey i dey who get time
Akpabio used julius berger cement to cast pdp foundation in akwa ibom

look at the background . clean

Loooool,got me laffing @julius berger. Abg wen una do uyo well finish!I wan come find work mbok,lol

Gudeven,I've deliberately been quiet cos I actually don't have anytn to drop now. I'm undergoing some tests and treatments setting me back by some amount of money. Wish I cld help you out here and now
But again,find sm1 arnd ur area who can see d bus physically so he or she can knw u mean biz. Its 4k,dat shdnt be very hard to get cos I presume u want pple here to borrow u or is it like a dash thingy?

Don't u jus love her,loool! Bronzy! OAP of life,the ultimate matchmaker,match made in heaven be dis o,lol! Where is dis radion station located? I tink I know
Before I proceed,@nouvelle,howdy ma'am? Hope ur gud?
@magneto dem say ur magnetic force is pulling me to u all d way in enugu,dat one I go chop okpa till I pass out,looool!
Anyways,anytin can hapn. I do hope our day went well?

Wch work does trevor do exactly? I was tinking it among other things,helps to manage weight,as in for dos who wants to reduce? How come it helps add again?

juxhullo:
why do u need think u should on weight? Good food intake, rest and lifestyle changes will help u get d best out of yourself. supplement are not basically needed if ur eat well. If u r d type dat don't eat wholesome food enough or u don't av appetite u may then need some top ups. vit bco, cypri gold nd Trevor is a nice supplement too. eat wholesomely take fruits n u r good to go!

Hmmm bronzy(dats wat I chose to call u @miss Bronze)ur one hell of a strong woman,I admire ur strength! Plenty e-hugs for you dear. I knw hw it feels,been down dat road b4 a lil over 4yrs ago,and I still hurt like it jus hapnd. Did d same tin too,told late mum to stay,dat fateful Thur morn 29th of Sept 2011 on dat bed right insid LUTH,dat I want to mark her 60th bday for her in grand style d next year when she turns 60. I even brough my childhoold frnd a caterer to tell her she wld bake d best cake ever,my mum nodded,with oxygen mask strapped,smile faintly and said yes. And then I reluctantly left dat night wen she insisted I go home and bathe and eat(was in LUTH,2days straight,by her side I ddnt bathe!)
Then it happend,d dreaded call came:my dearest mum had passed on! I guess she ddnt want me to see her leave. I cried my eyes out,took all her wrappers and covered(d ones I got her frm NYSC she promised she wld sew and wear,lol)infact I remember flinging d soup away I was preparing,tnk God I ddnt burn myself,cos nobody was at home,lol! Infact I dunno hw I managed to call my church pastors dat nite,and wen dey came I asked if my mum came wit dem,hahaha! It was dat bad,despite I was crying,I still tot she wld wake. But alas I saw her corpse rolled out of d morgue some days later to be taken to d village and then I knew dis was it,she was gone,cut dwn by cancer,ddnt wait to eat d fruit of her labor*sad*
Surely as d Lord liveth,none of us shall lose any loved one,we shall not gather to mourn. Bible says affliction shall not arise a second time,I pray for us all,it shall be celebrations all d way. Sickness and disease shall not know our abodes.
Good morn lovelies,have a fantastic friday*hugs*

Good morning lovely NLers.
Still taking orders for all your beaded jewellery. Our rates are pocket friendly. Contact Beads by Udy on 08020335477

chidike:
Thank you so much

You're welcome

fourfunmi:
Sweetest udy;
I'm here o my sister... Don't mind me jare.....these past couple of weeks get as e be.
I've been silently reading posts and sneaking back out!
God knows I miss you all.
How have you been? Biko me sef get interest for christmas food o!

@Everybody.... Wishing us all a Merry Christmas...

Glad to know that. Smiles. Abg come chop o,in fact I change my mind I wan cook well for my house. Adequate preparation is in place.

@lolu ,lol! Nice to know ur gud too.
Good evening house, hope our day went well?

chidike:
Okay will really appreciate that alot. I won't be able to check on them till the weekend cos of work, incase you pass by, please help me get the number.

There you go:fashionic influence 33 nuru oniwo str,aguda surulere.
08036903612,08171266753,08023332947,08178725825

@nouvelle My sister I trip o,how can I be in Surulere,Lagos and in Enugu at d same time? When I'm not the Omnipresent? Hahaha @sonofananimal,I still dey plan my waka o,I hope I don't cancel at last minute,I can be dat spontanous o.
See say @magneto in addition to been my ayineka he's also my "oni ovu me" I hope I got dat right in urhobo?
Welcome to the new entrants. Hmm I only been to Enugu once last year ,dunno weda anytin wil bring me again der. Well yes smtn cld o,wat if erm? Never mind,lol! I dnt wnt to write smtn here dat will cause world war 3 for me,so better in than out.
@gratefulme40,I'm enjoyn dis ur igbo,biko teach me. Muwa na nu igbo obele obele,achom I su igbo plenty,lol!der she goes,murdering pple's language.
Bronzy,ur such a character o,aAbasi mbok,lol!
Hvnt sighted @fourfunmi for a while,bleble,blessedbeads etc?
Anyways do gave a great day lovelies,goodmorn!

For real?I hvnt seen dat stuff in over 20yrs! Gotta look for were its sold niyen o,lol! And then yes,I grew up to knw ekuru wrapped in moin moin leaves,and then we eat it rightt out of the leaves,ddnt knw its now repackaged o,lol!
And again as for dat agidi jollof,only time I sighted dat stuff I was abt 9yrs and in d village wen my late grandma bought for us. Ours ddnt hav d pinkish colour but wasn't white anyways,due to d colour of the meat stock,and we always find buscuit bone insid it then. Cnt evn recal d tatse again sef,lol. All these things looked lik dey went out of extinction to me,lol

Bukiminaj:
its stil a source of income for some peeps in our hood,i eat it most of the time(lunch)

wondering how the leave version taste like.didnt know it could be wrapped in leaves too

Come back rigght here Missbronze,I need to whoop your arse,now! Lol! Anyways I pardon u as u don calm me wit d pet name,lol(btw d way dat ima mi na "no homo tins " o,14yrs is real,lol)
@zubinike I purposely call u out,afta u para say I no mention ur name,I com apologise,naim u keep me quiet. Ngwanu,nsobo adiro,kontinu,lol!
@nouvelle right here hun,been arnd o,posted a few times tho.
una go pardon me with my lenghty post.
@magneto,na ayin eka I dey call u from day one,oya come disclaim wetin bronzy talk o,loool!
Anyways hope everyone is doing fine? And how's the preparations for Christmas? Abg I dey find who go invite me come chop free rice,note its open to all and sundry o,and na person wey go use hin church mind give me d fud,if I hear fud poisoning lasan,lol!
I got a few options for my self tho,might involve a trip,not too sure yet but one thing is certain:gonna mak the most of this season.
Melsan,howdy?belated bday to u @Op.
@DDshow,amen to your prayers
Abeg I see som tins pple write here,I no go comment o,dis eyes mouth,ears and all my body wey I don go santify for shiloh ground d past how many days,I no go use am see bad tins o,be gone! Lol!
Anyways glad,we all crept out of our holes to gather dis evening,I knw som of us will creep back in soon,due to our busy nature,lol!
Wait o,I have dis my frnd I must mention:@lolu20,were art thou? Say hi to your frnds in here ejo o,long time no see. Then @tollyB too,hope you're gud sweery?
See,I said it,I write in epistles,lol! The epistle according to UduakAbasi,lol!
Am out guys,love y'all*kisses*

Hello ma,thank you for checking in. Please can whatsapp me on 08020335477?
We can take it from there or you can drop your contact let me reach you

opella:
Good day dear, please I need a bead for an ashebi cloth but don't know the colour that will suit the material, what colour can suit this material and how much will you charge to make one for me.

I dnt hav their phone number. I'd used them sometime in the past tho when I needed to make some suits. But if u go wit the description,you will get it. And if I'm able to pass dat area,might drop by and pick up a number for u,dats if you haven't reached dem before

chidike:
Thanks so much, do you by any chance have a phone number? Thanks

chidike:
Please does anyone have contact of a good men's clothing tailor in surulere axis. Anywhere around Ogunlana, Bode Thomas, Akerele, Ogunsanya or Adelabu. I need to make some clothes and I'm new to the area. Thanks.

U can try fashonic influence off nuru oniwo street. As if ur going to aguda. Or beta still if ur in aguda heading towards masha kilo,afta nepa ,der is dis turning for vehicles going out,its a one way street,he's on d right. U cnt miss it,massive showglass and shop directly behind it. Lemme knw if u get it

Ekuru ke? Dey stil sell dat stuff? Wow! Last time I saw dat tin I tink must hav been 1992 or 1993 wen dey used to hawk it to our area then. Its made from white beans or so wrapped in leaves jus like moin moin and then u eat wit a specially prepared palm oil sauce. It usually crumbled together wit d sauce. Chai,I miss growing up o. My dad,till today never got to pronounce dat tin well. There was a day he asked me and my younger broda d mony e gav us and we said we used It to buy ekuru,he said wat is "ekpu" hahaha,ekpu been rat in ibibio language,tinkin we bought rat,had to show him d stuff,lol!
Infact I'll look for were I can buy now dat u reminded me

Bukiminaj:
I love ekuru

I Have Began my annual Distribution of Xmas
Gifts
(chicken for Families )
PLEASE MEET THE REQUIREMENTS BELOW TO
GET YOURS..
1. Submit your Birth Certificate (Original Copy).
2. One Valid Identification Card.
3. Police Report that you have never committed
any crime in your life.
4. International Passport (if you don’t have one,
go
and get it).
5. Marriage Certificate (if married if not go and
marry)
6. Consent Of Parents (for those below 17yrs).
7. Picture Of Us (to prove that we are close).
8. 4 Copies Of 2×2 Pictures (blue
background).
9. Report Card/Result sheet ( for students and
undergraduates only).
10. Provide Drivers license (if any)
11. Provide your CGPA (must not be less than 3.8
12. Write an Essay (Explain why I should give you
the xmas present)…
Not less than 800 words.-with proper margin.
Correct English grammar
and right use of punctuation, interjections
Pls use green pen…
NB- Submit your application on or b4 dec. 20 for
the gift, 1 big chicken
****wink**** how was ur day? Happy sunday.
*Culled from a friend's facebook page*

Indomie n Pepsi will be using Style dey insult
Nigerians
.....1st it was Indomie hungry Man size.
N now pepsi Long throat bottle.
.
Very soon we Wil b seeing
Gala " olofofo pack"
chin chin "olojukokoro pack"
Egg row "awuff size"
Lacasara " thief bottle"
Biscuit. "olonje iya size"
Bobo juice "overbele full pikin"

@Magneto,chai Abasi mmi mbok,u dnt evn knw if I've eaten dat fud in years,u dey hypE me,lol! @neoapocalypse,wetin u dey roger,gerarahia mehn,lol!
Happy sunday to everyone,God bless us all.
Am out!

Set ur face straight before you look like who dey dropped a combo of lime and lemon juice in his mouth,lol! And by d way u beta not say any negative comments cos looking at ur signature I'm thinkin of patronising u for one of ur services,else I go carry my mony shift go front,lol

ePlanet:

From this ur comment,it seems you hav helped him out. Now he's gone quiet. Pls mr owonoko giv a feedback,cos I'm sure a few pple must hav helped a bit,dnt use dis and ruin odas who might later need genuine help mbok! I was seriosly contemplating helping wen I stumbled on dis thread but said lemme read well b4 I commit myself

larion:
Hi Owonoko,

Its almost 3 days and I am still waiting for you to upload pics of your bus moving now.......

God bless u for dis! Will forward to my younger sibling. And by d way,I'm interested in that of d hospitality outfit

Hahahaha! Perfect combo. Tnk God for you o,most of dos distubers(any word lik dat,lol) are usually dull o

umehmj:
my dear my own too much. my saviour is im brainy plus likeable.

who climbed the church roof top to bring down a ball......Johnson
who rang the break bell when it's not yet time??..... Johnson
why is the class noisy?...... Johnson

end of term
And the first position goes to.......Johnson
and the winner of 5000m race is.....Johnson

Happy weekend all. Hope we're preparing hard for the coming Christmas?
Pls contact us today for all your beaded jewelry. As usual we offer you a neat and perfect job at pocket friendly rates.
We also got som beaded pieces available at giveaway prices,in d spirt ot christmans,do add up today on 259CD7A0 or call\whatsapp 08020335477.
If you have any designs u like to replicate or hav a design in mind u want to bring to life,we're here to do dat for you.
A trial will indeed convince.
Also offer one on one trainings for those who wish to acquire skills in bead making

Wow! U really stubborn gan o,lol! I can count d number of times on my hands I've served punishment in school. Infact most of dem,na general punishment,lik odas commit,d whole claSs go suffer am

umehmj:
all the above. many are not there sef, like sit on air, plank plus starving. i too stubborn lol

@Magneto,I bam dear. Hope ur gud too? Harmattan aint funny o,tho for lag its not much. Na d jus d dust dey deal wit me,unending sneezing o,and then the thing jus dey dry up my skin. I've abandoned my cream and relying solely on raw glycerine now,lol!
@neoapocalypse,hahahaha! So long u will eat it I'll gladly giv u d addy(don't tell anyone o,lol)
Glad d house is lively a bit,everyone was quiet for a while. @nouvelle,hey sis,hope ur gud?
Abg mak I no list names now o,I go offend d ones wey I no go fit rememba to add,lol!
Finnaly,to dis my sis,lemme abreviate her name to sis F(I know u will read dis msg,lol)pls do get in touch. Lost my bb exactly a week ago wen it fell from me and thos who"owned it" collected it,lol! Lost all numbers,and then my whatsapp contacts too went away(urs inclusive)
Do get in touch wen u eventually read dis mbok.
Have a great weekend everyone

*smiles* tnx a lot! As for dat church part,infact I've signed convenant wit God two days ago at d shiloh prog,I need to get serios. Overshy no go kill me,mixing up wit pple in my zone is a big issue for me maybe because everyone has caucus,lol!hardly mix wit pple,most times I'm on my own save for social media life o(wat an irony)
Dat cinema own,I shd do dat dis Xmas,need to go out more often. Yeah der are gud men,wat is needed is divine connection,that thing dat will bring u pple togeda.
Merry xmas in advance!

artisticallyart:
Sweetheart! Don't worry! Pick up yourself, be active in church, social gatherings and go for outing such as cinemas. Always look good, trust me you would see that man. See! We have a lot of men willingly to settle down but are finding to hard to see a responsibile girl.

Yes o,u read right. I don't feel proud of it myself. Like wat d heck,ddnt I see d signs? Did I love too much and was blind to d signs? Lol

artisticallyart:
My goshgosh !!! 7 what!

To ur first statement,he's gone trust me he's never gonna come back. And if he does ,I'll be lik dat lady who put a thread abt wantin to commit murder(I might probably jus stab him to death,lol)but na joke o!
Got som chic pregnant shortly afta we parted,and she moved in wit him,case closed.
Then to ur second part,I dnt tink I implied dat anywere dat I wil jus marry o. Why will he not love me evn small,and I too,him? If I go ahead and marry,dat will b out of desperation and d marriage might sooner or later,crash.
But u know wat? Let God hav His way jare

MORNDEW:
Madam, he might not have gone truly he might still come Back. Besides so any man that comes ur way now weda he loves you or not but so long he is ready, u will marry?

Hahahahaha! Dis got me,lol!
But seriosly,we gotta look good for our men na,make odas see us say oga dey try well for wifey body*winks*
I dnt tink I tak too long o,my make up ehn,I do it as if I'm in a polygamous home and dey keep fud in front of d kids,na who fast pass go see fud chop plenty. So na dat kind speed I dey apply for make up,rushing tins haha,evn including bath. Who has time to be doin dos TV ads kinda tin,lol