₦airaland Forum

ihedinobi2:
Of course you are not expected to like, date or marry every dude that says they like you. That is not the issue here. It is also not wrong to be friends with someone you like.

Here's the issue: if someone falls in love with someone else, that person they fall in love with becomes more to them than anybody else on earth. It is not good then to keep a person in love with you around you when you cannot or do not love them back. The issue here is that generally, both men and women who are loved enjoy being loved and for that reason they don't release people who love them. That is bad.

Also, people may start out as friends with you without any intentions to fall in love with you but do anyway. You can't say that they should have told you from the beginning. They couldn't have. How could they?

Finally, I was addressing two different things in the op: friendzoning was one; nice guys finishing last was another.

does it mean i have been friend.zoned?

RColours:
Ma'am, have you ever been a victim of rape? Perhaps, not you, but a sibling? A friend, a neighbor, a cousin, maybe?
If none of these, have you at least, ever put yourself in their shoes, the victims, that is?

You have absolutely no right to taunt me by saying I gloat in their misery. They can as well die in it, whoever they are. I wouldn't care less.
Those I care about are the victims.
Please, do shut your mouth next time, or better still, do not quote me.

I just quoted you. Now jump over the moon. Or better still, go and hug the transformer on your street. She asked her brother to rape the ladies i guess, thats why her name should be dragged and dragged. So it is now her fault to be born of same parents with the modafoka abi? So we should throw the baby away with the bathing water? Please go and sleep if you dont have anything to say. If you were one of the victims, you can come out and say it lets start from there. Just leave the poor girl out of it abeg.

House help again? D wan dat weee use my bebi for jackie chan movie abi?

You still wan collect house help? Sebi you no watch video ni?

Ok

muafrika:
Do we have a friend zoning situation here veave?

Ask d.op

Chinedu

RColours:
If this was a positive news now, she wouldn't mind the attention thrown at her and the entire family. It's a two way thing. You enjoy both the positive and negative coverage, madam. It's the price we pay for being part of a family. Mrs Steph, it is inevitable that your entire family would be dragged into this mess.

If all the further allegations of rape from other victims against this same man, as reported on LIB are remotely true, then I can rightfully insist the family, to an extent, know about his monstrous ways and did nothing about it. A woman actually came out to say she was raped at the tender age of 11 by this man when they were neighbors.
It is just disgusting.

Enjoy the limelight again, ma. No hard feelings.

Ogamadam. Dont be quick to throw stones into the market place. Who knows, your mother might be in there. While you gloat in anothers' misery, your dont know how soon it will get to your turn.

What has this long epistle got to do with the fact than i am crushing on the op

richeethomas44:
Well using all this harsh cream are really harmful to the skin,,dat is why it gives u dark knuckles and feet..am in CA at the moment and yet am still buying my cream from a dermatologist in Lagos who prepares my toning ,extra toning and whitening cream and it also softens and whitens up my skin to my required goal...just contact him on 08034292000

Thanks. Will call him

Kanwulia:
This na 2015 almost o.

Joint accounts nor dey reign o!

The guy has really tried for her. Did you see how he reformed her looks? Since he became her stylist, she started looking soo soo responsible and classy.

lacord5:
Darling your husband seems to have extra cash in his pocket all the time, money make men cheat! They have enough to hang out, pay for hotels, take care of their new babes etc. Now he is able to do all that cos you have a good job and probably shoulder half of your family responsibilities, believe me if he were broke (I don't mean unemployed oh) and thinking of saving up money for children's school fees and rent and insurance, he won't have money left for extravagances.
Now solution... Change your kids schools, take them to a better and more expensive school, tell him their old school is now crap and it's a good investment to their future, be all nice and sweet while talking about this . Then, where do you live? A rented house? You need to get a land and start building, tell him how real estate is the new rave and a good investment too, look for a land and get him see the need to have his own house, by the time he starts building every kobo will go into it, be supportive too, show interest and always hang by him. If you already have a house, build more for rent and as an investment.
Again it may be hard but show him love, forgive him in your heart, be an active member in your church and get him to become one too, if you don't have a nanny please get one, hang out with him and those his friends and slowly get him to hang with you, be a buddy. Don't report him anymore to anyone, don't claim to be too tired to go to parties and clubs please go with him, listen to gospel teachings it will ease your pain.
DO NOT CHEAT BACK! It is your body, you won't like to desecrate yourself just cos he is doing so, you will feel worse. And it won't solve anything at all.
Stop cutting cost, get those things your family lack, don't wait anymore, get him to spend his money, start projects and don't stop... And moreover pray for him to change, don't underestimate the power of prayer and money

God bless you. Dear, build the house because you need it. Change the schools because its a good investment on their future. Start a new business because it will occupy your free time. Don't let critics run you down babe. Look good and happy always. Cheers

Funny thing is most of the people coming here to form iron lady happy home happy husband are passing through worse than the op. So because this is a faceless forum you want her to divorce her husband by force and sharp sharp so that she can be a properly educated and enlightened woman abi? She has decided to stay with her husband so guys deal with it and advice her on the positive way forward not to use indirect snideous comments to make her feel foolish. Mrs husband owner how sure are you that your own is even faithful? Women are really their worst enemies abeg. And i dey hit my head for wall sey i wan marry. Omaga o!

Nashville:
OP,

From your very first post, you seemed like one of those retired runs-girls who dated married men when she was single and was lucky enough to get married to some nice guy. You seem so comfortable with the belief that "most men cheat" so you are just trying to figure out how to cope with the "expected" cheating that comes with marriage. But I did not want to sound harsh, so I didn't respond to your first few posts.

When you now explained that your solution was to cheat on him as well, I was 95% sure that you dated married men in your past and cheating is no big deal to you. In fact, you just want to go back to your old ways of having aristo, sugar daddy, maga, uncle, sponsor etc. by the side. I am sure you have already lined up some ex-boyfriends to call.

But I became 100% sure that you were an ex-runs girls when you said your husband is a very good man. He might be a good man and a good father but he is certainly not a good husband. Good husbands are not serial cheats. Your mindset is completely skewed because you have come to accept it as the norm. I can bet 1 million naira you dated married men when you were single; so you now believe it is normal.

One thing I like about you though, is that you are not a hypocrite. For you, cheating is normal - for both men and women so you don't see anything wrong. You dated married men when you were single, now that it's happening to you, you are not really complaining; so I give you credit for being sincere and honest. You are not like some hypocrites that dated several married men when they were single and yet would come and complain their husbands are cheating on them. Those are the ones I dislike the most.

Hmmmn. Na wa for waec o. So because she is being real, you have automatically turned her to a retired runs girl. Omaga o! Please if you dont have any reasonable thing to say, just SHUT UP! Ok?

Take doxycicline and flagyl for 30 days. She has an infection.

Katier00:
why are you calling me names, you just heard the woman, she wants to start xtra marital affair because her hubby is doing so, that is not life, why not leave , fall in love again and maybe that will be the right man instead of cheating

Were did you read that she wants to start extra marital affairs? She only said she doesn't want to be tempted to start.

MojAyo:
hmmm,tanx for ur advice o,and again I show appreciation at my mum supporting me and my childs upkeep,I never said I dnt want to work,I only came to nigeria to visit which I dnt knw things would turn out like dis,my inlaws promised to support me and my childs upkeep, bt since I came to d country,they changed,they dnt even want to take me in which I suspect its becos of financial stuffs,the father of my baby promised to be sending me and my child money,bt since I came here,I got stacked,which make my mum to be doing everything for me,I'm still going back to where I come from,and I will say it again,I dnt d system of d country,imagine d hair u can do for a client in SA at d rate of 1200naira in nigeria money,here ,they can do it for 500naira,so how can I catch up with my life with dat with a little one to feed,if I never come home,u won't see me here complaining,my problem started since I enter nigeria,I knw nairaland a long time,bt I never post a topic here based on my life or my husbands life,bt since I came into my mothers house,I was forced and frustrated to start creating a topic about my life on Nairaland,I believe my problem will end vry soon,I'm nt a lazy person

# you need to b humble, truthful, hard working and ready to take advice. You also need to grow up too. Abeg were do people make hair for 500naira in naija again. in fact, you are supposed to be swimming in hundreds of thousands by now. Because the fact you came from SA alone is enough reasons for people to patronize you, you don't even need to get a shop. Do it in front of your house. please go through the thread from page 0 again. And comply with all good advices. The ones that sound harsh are definitely the ones that will save you fast.

3cycle:
So I woke up early in the morning about to pray for my immediate Elder Brother. God gave an angel to my mum .
I don't think anyone can boast of having a. Wonderful sibling like my brother.
From our childhood days (though we can fight well o ) till now, he has been a gift to my family especially me.
Since my dad left to a better place 2 years ago my bro assumed the responsiblity of a dad to all of us and I must say he is doing a great job.

Though my dad laid a good foundation for him (financially), he managed everything well.
He doesn't womnize, he is hardworking, selfless, humble, good christian, cheerful, kind, caring, takes life easy, good sense of humor and very very responsible. He has always been a support to all of us (siblings) financially, morally, etc.
He Knows what to say at the right Time and what to say to lift one up From a depressed situation.

Though I know its quite difficult for a wife to forget her husband but my mum does not lack anything. He is always there for her, encouraging her and making life easy for her.
Lol, infact he keeps intouch with all of us and being with him, no dull moments.

Please forgive me for the epistle, I can't help but to be grateful to Godfor giving me a good brother. One day I believe when I am in the position to help, I will do so wholeheartedly. I pray God blesses my brother and keep him safe.
Do you have a wonderful sister, brother, friend? Pray for him/her here.

It shows you are a good person too. For being appreciative. God blews your family.

My siblings are wonderful people. We watch each others back. My parente are the best on earth. I couldnt have asked for better.

God bless you good old dad. Love you mum. *icallhersister* may your days be long on earth and may smiles continue to follow you both everywere. Amen

SUV:
My hubby's elder brothers r so selfish and only cares about their own immediate family. When my hubby was down financially one of them that's a bank manager refused to assist him wit small loan and even warned his colleague (who my hubby aprroached) not to give my hubby cos my hubby maynot be able to pay him bk on time that he shld not tk that risk. His colleague told my hubby n my hubby wept bitterly.

That's even d least of it. The eldest brother is stinkinly rich but they don't even ask us whether we hv food to eat or if d children r ok. Thank God I hv a good job that catered for us throughout those tough times. My hubby is getting bk on his feet again. The sisters r d worst inlaws ever. They only criticise whatever I do or say.

Everything boils down to parents shaa. But me I hv never placed any hope on anyone. And am so happy God has bn sustaining us.

On my side, we hv only one brother and we pamper d wife and spoil her silly. My bros love us too.

Its well. Dont worry. Everything will be fine.

aisha2:
Go and deal with your abandonment issues and dont transfer your agression on me or the posters brother. You are clearly crying from your own personal issues not this thread.

Hiohiohiohiohiohio.

I laugh in isoko.
Babe cool down eh. I'm not trying to share your fustrated space and lifetime with you.
Sey i be bush baby wey get abandonment problem ne? Chai! Omaga o!

aisha2:
Am sure you are not sane. So I wont bother with you.

Hahahahaha....
Lets see who is not sane here between you and I.

Someone laid out his problems for advice and at least comfort. You started by calling him 'selfish' and 'entitled'. Couldnt you have possibly passed quietly without calling him names?
You see no wrong in blood forsaking blood. Not on one occasion but on 3similar ones. Babe, i doff my heart for you o... you try well well...
And yes, i'm not sane. Else, we wouldnt be having this conversation. Its not cool being 'sane' like you at all.

Poor girl. So sad.

Umu guyses

Yeah, if you've lived in the village you'll see things like this regularly. It usually disappears towards 7/8years of age then the real one comes out when she's about 12.

aisha2:
You are very selfish and entititled
So the whole world should stop because you want to take picture.
Oya be angry and burst

At times the way you reason makes me wonder if you are a Nigerian and live in nigeria. I'm very sure you will be angry to if it happened to you. Dont come and be forming superD on nairaland abeg.

bukatyne:
Did he miss previous occasions for genuine reasons?

He might be jealous of you

I agree. Well said. Some people believe its only them that should do well

Odilafta:
Oga,would you leap for joy if your gf looks you in the face and says "not following you to see your parents today because,my sister is having her convo and besides,it's just a bloody seeing of your parents"

What do you mean by that? Are you trying to say what his brother did was right? Someone chooses to be inconsiderate and outrightly mean and you're giving excuses on his behalf? Op said he missed matric and bsc convoc. I'm sure he fixed seeing his fiancee on same day on purpose. Its little things like this that causes big problem in future. Mtchwww.


@op, dont mind him joor. Just dont invite him wen u doing something major in your life anymore. Let him hear it from outsiders.