₦airaland Forum

solidman59:
I am really lost and need to ask advice on what to do. I had an affair on my wife of 16 years with a woman I love very much. She ended the affair 8 months ago because I didnt leave my wife and now I am so lost because she has moved on. She has another boyfriend who has just moved in with her and although she says she still loves me, she doesnt believe I will ever leave my wife. My biggest regret is that I stayed. I don’t love my wife anymore, she has hurt me in the past and I don’t think I will ever get my love back for her. I care about her as a person but do not love her any longer. I need help in finding a way to get the love of my life back. I dont want to be in this marriage anymore. I am afraid of moving out because I will have trouble affording it, which is the reason I am yet to move out and move on. My wife doesnt work, we have two teen kids and I am afraid that I will end up paying two households. I want to move out still and want a divorce. She wants to work it out and I dont want to, I cant even handle living here for another month let alone years to work it out. I love my kids and the only reason I am still here at all is for them. I regret not leaving months ago when I told my girl I would. I want her and I need advice on how to get her back. Should I leave my wife and then try to get her back? Should I file for divorce first? Shes the love of my life and I still cant breath without her.

ShakurM:
No be only you ooo, e dey do me like say make I go buy suit now now but my crush is still dey uncle zone me

Toks2008:
As long as its a cheaper option.

The picture is clear,its the same food and equally a decent place to eat so the only reason for her insistence is simply hinged on the two things i wrote..very simple and straight forward.

Toks2008:
LOL!

There are times when both of you will be out together and hungry.Not that you wake up from your house and say oya lets go mama put nah..

Toks2008:
lmao!

They dont stand to eat my lady.

Infact in some places you dont have to stand up but you wil be served. Mama put sometimes can be a cheaper option to eating at the big time eateries even sometimes the mama put food could be tastier.

The message of this thread is that any lady who can not take a cheaper and equally quality option with a man when it comes to spending is not good enough to be a wife.

dollyjoy:
ooooooooops. Mama put restuarant is my best man,talk of pounded yam and egusi

Nubian113:
So what is this mama put ting? Somewhere one stands to eat

I demand Lobster on first dates so does mama pit serve fresh lobster at $75 just for the lobster without any extras? if so I'm in if not be gone boy-child


*in mrcork's voice*.... "Can you afford to date a light skin girl"

Toks2008:
Thats why i wrote decent mama put and i guess you have not seen one.

Below is a pic of our RICH MUSIC STARS enjoying delicious amala at a decent mama put joint in Ibadan and i believe this effizy stricken guy darkenedrebel is probably far better than these dudes.

I hate fake guys and i can't even stand a sex with them.

dollyjoy:
yes dear.that must be your village mentality!

Nubian113:




I'm a stubborn foreigner

darkenedrebel:
I'm actually chilled..just talking some sense into some brain-dead peon

Toks2008:
Lol! I guess it is understandable from a foreigner's perspective and the guy go don try convince her but just look at the situation where your guy tells you to follow him to a good mama put and you insist that he should take you to an eatery that you know will gulp more money please what does that make you?

And some funny guys are here trying to form levels..fake guys everywhere.

darkenedrebel:
shut the fück up and stop bitching boy. even women don't nag like this...do you ovulatè?

you are not ajebutter? wetin consain me and ur kerosine-supported existence ?
it is only in your small coconut head that I'm forming...hehe.. stop all these reverse snobbery..
what kind of adult opens this kind of thread..you brain is so dead even the Lazarus pit cannot resurrect it ..


all I told you is to stop disgracing the male folks..and stop all these wailings , and move on..

Toks2008:
That moment when you ask your babe to follow you to a decent mama put around the corner to have a delicious meal for a lesser amount with choice goat meat for N250,a wrap of freshly pounded yam for N50 and free choice soup but insists both of you look for an eatery where you will spend more on same meal where you will buy a wrap of pounded yam for N200,one meat for N400 and you will even buy the soup then 2 things must be involved...

1.Your babe is either a stubborn foreigner
2.Or a fake

Don't bother to take her serious because she go ruin your finance.

evolg:
A lot of people might have told you that you miss a lot for not having sex, the answer is a capital "YES". You miss a lot and would continue missing them.
1. You miss contracting HIV
2. You miss unwanted pregnancy
3. You miss being an unwanted teen mother or father
4. You miss having sexually trasmitted yokes and bondages
5. You miss having an unwanted child
6. You miss being a school dropout
7. You miss having a broken home
8. You miss making God and your parents sad and disappointed
9. You miss barreness due to abortions
10. You miss having destroyed your career prospects
11. You miss risking cervical cancer
12. You miss getting worried bcoz you may get pregnant after sex
13. You miss being "used" and dumped
14. You miss being depressed all the time
15. You miss throwing your virginity in the mud
16. You miss getting serious broken heart
17. You miss fornication
18. You miss punishment of the grave
19. You miss weakening your veins at an early stage
20. You miss selling your dignity in just 5mins for a useless pleasure and finally,
21. You miss being thrown into hellfire.
Have you seen that you really miss a lot by not having sex?
My real G's out there and God's finest babes, i tell people you can have swag and still be a good christian.
Your life is worth more than 5minutes enjoyment that can destroy ur life in the present and future.
Preserve ur body not just for ur future husband or wife but for Christ sake.
It's Rewardable!!!

mummydirect:
please! if I may ask, what the hell in Gods name are you feeling like? so your intention na to go source for unserious girls like you and not to serve. whatever gave you the impression that doctors are sought after by girls in camp or during NySC. Your type na im my mumcy dey run for if she reach hospital, make u for no kill her with wrong medication.
shake my head for doctors like you, I own you no apology, because you have not spoken like a decent doctor please.

oshe11:
yeah!



Dey shud wait for me, kos nxt yr is my turn, nid a wife dere

Fesomu:
believe whatever u want. *smiles*

oshe11:
They better not try it ooo, na there I wan fynd my wife oooo

Fesomu:
I don't know why peolpe think so..some bad boys be doctors too o...doctors that goes to club and still mange to get good grades...

Fesomu:
Scrap wetin...after 6years in medical and a year internship, they want to deny me those girls that crave for doctors in camp...

flintrony:
I work in one of the federal government facility, we were all expecting some arrears payment for some time, it finally came, we were all happy.
Something happened I got another alert, the amount is close to what we were paid but not the same.
I was not called upon and nobody else got that second alert.
Plz nairalanders should I return or notify the system I got such such alert?
The arrears is close to #120k
The second alert is little less than 100k
Plz advise a member

MrLP:
you want to expose me bah? lol.

MrLP:
Hello Nairalanders,

Pardon me, i had to create another moniker just to post this.
I am in love this babe i met in my estate, but i got frustrated and let out a piercing outburst which has made her delete me on BBM, blocked me on Whatsapp and have made her refuse to pick my calls for 2 weeks now. I will attach the screen shot of my outburst below.
In other not to bore u with some long stories, wi just state what actually led to this.
I have been asking her out for a while, i met her in my estate some months back. i left her when she told me she was seeing someone. I later saw her again walking home in my estate while i was driving by. I knew i still liked her, decided to try again as i was not in any relationship too.

We got talking again, but she is always not there. claimed her job and all that. sometimes takes up.to 24 hours to revert my messages even sometimes ti pick up my calls. There are sometimes i see her online on whatsapp, while my message remains pending on BBM. Its always excuse of work,being tired and all that. I had to take it like that afterall am still just an "admirer".

But i noticed one thing, its when i want to get something from a store...she remembers she needs something too. There was a day i was getting a bottle of beer in a shop in my estate, that was when she knee she didn't have milk and sugar at home. She told me to get her milk and sugar. i saw that as odd. " milk and sugar" well i got it. The other day i wanted to recharge my phone, she suddenly remembered her unit was low too. I got for her, she never even called me with it. I dont need to say much, you guys already have an idea. I kept on asking her out and telling her I loved her and all of that. But it was frustrating because we mostly see Sundays, and my Sundays too not always free, as i may be on duty. Her sub finished, my messages weren't delivering, i was able to get her on phone and she told me her sub expired. When she hung up, I immediately recharged her line with quick Teller. it took me about another 48 hrs to even let her know i have recharged her line. She wouldn't pick her calls she wouldn't call back.

This time she acts like she is tuning in with me, next time she acts strangely. To cut it all short, she is been telling me she wished to go clubing. 24th was a public hol though i went to work, but she didnt. Called her and told her, ok today we are both free....what about clubbing? she said fine. Called me like 3 times before i got home. Its only when something is at stake she calls. Told her will come pick her by 9pm then we chill somewhere till late, when club will be opened. At past 9, called her i was enroute, she started complaining it was already late, i was like late at past 9? which club opens by 9. she said she is not going again, she is even hungry, just come pick me to eat and drop me back home. I was like WTF in my mind how can a lady be home since morning and tell a guy to come pick her and buy her food at past 9. Those are things we do on campus. I told her no...we are going clubbing, she will eat along the road. Hung up and met her outside her gate. she was dressed casually with simple slips. I was surprised. so she actually meant it. She entered the car and i drove off...told her she will enter the club like that, i will try not get her bounced. lol. She was boning and angry...i gnored her, picked my friends and drove straight to an hotel that hat a restaurant and lounge. Got her her meal, then we went to the lounge later. Told me she was traveling next day, and i have to drop her at the park or something since i will make her wake late. I agreed, she insisted i dropped her home, as a gentle man i did just that around 3am. Waited till she was safely in, before driving back home.

she called at 8am, and i was still sleeping, i picked and she started saying, you are still sleeping when you know you to drop me off. please come and pick me, i am late. and hung up. I was upset but went to pick her, it was then she remembered she needed to use ATM. I became a driver looking for ATM. we didnt get to use, its either crowdy or no money. That was when she said she can manage with what she had. Dropped her and went back home. Didnt hear from her, no thank you, she didnt even tell me she had gotten to her destination. When i asked and told her how was missing her...took another 9 hours to reply. and it was just a line. i got pissed and exploded.

meanwhile night out , someone was calling and calling she refused to pick. eventually turned off her phone. i later collected it and tuned it on...she had about 76 unread messages on Whatsapp. Phone was locked. I just gave her back...because she was getting angry i was holding her phone.

This made me wondering if that was how she turned off her phone when i keep calling. No calls returned but phone eventually says switched off. Excuse is always work and being tired.

Below was what i told her....becaue i couldn't take her games any longer...But i cant stop thinking of her still. I really like her....and i am almost regret blasting her. But i can't let feelings manipulate my normal sense of reasoning. she is a working class and should stop behaving like an hungry campus girl.

I mean while gather all the admirers and respond to whichever u please to at that time.... I find it strange, whats the gain?

But should i have been more patient?

Vjcray:
[size=14pt] boys, you deserve a 32 inches flat screen hot undiluted slap for this meandering stupidity. ... .

How can a girl colonize your brain to such level?

Last time I checked there are billions of girls in the world... if one rejects you they are many more who will welcome you with open arms....

As for the girl, next time you see her tell her that I said she is not even menacingly Close to being a human being material....

Just forget about the girl and move on because from what you typed up there, that girl does not have an atom of love for you...



Cheers [/size]

Realberry:
Happily married oshi..Does that even exist?..I'm 21 now and I'm yet to see a couple that lives happily...Even the ones that act all cozy and warmy outside are lying and pretending!..My house(it's not a home for me) is a living hell,I was born into it and until this moment,nothing has changed..Same goes for all the families I've ever come across..Do not be decieved,marry only when you've learnt taekwando like my mum and boxing like my dad..That is all there is to marriage,nothing more!

confun:
Marriage is sweet my brother if it is based on love not money, looks or whatever....
Married for less dan 5 yrs and I must tell u, it keeps getting sweeter by d day...
I love my hubby, I cherish him, i don't disrespect him, it never gets into my head to talk anyhow to him..,God forbid, funny enough he in turn loves me so much, he doesn't disrespect me too...we talk, we gist, we pray together, we get involved in church activities together etc
He makes money, I make money, he has access to my ATM and other passwords, i av access to his own too, no dragging of money or unnecessary matters...we are best of friends...
To him, life is not hard, to me too, life is easy...
So, OP, dir is hope for you, many marriages are sweet bt seems d crashing ones are more. May God help you.....

taryour:
Nice thread,here is what works for me.
Firstly I went into my relationship with a statement on my mind(if my mum can remain with my dad with all the challenges they had which I also witnessed,then I can do better)
Ability to communicate effectively, while dating and up till now in marriage with 2 kids our communication has remained very very solid.
Communication has really helped my relationship a lot,it helps us both trash our differences amicably,there are somethings I can't say to my hubby face(cause I know I might not present it well and I don't want to be rude) so I put it into a chat and he understands me perfectly well. Each time we have our arguments,we make sure we apologise n trash it out before the end of the day.we do not go to bed in anger.
I have also learnt not to argue so much with my hubby,whenever he is angry with me am quite and let his anger subside then I apologise(even if deep down in my heart I know I wasn't wrong)I still apologise,I know how angry my hubby can get and I know better than to push further,we both have a bad temper but there can only be one leader,outside my home you don't dare mess with me,I will dish it to you very hot and spicy. I am the very aggressive type but hubby isn't,he is more calm than I am. I argue a lot too but not with hubby except in cases when we are gisting and having fun. Hubby loves football but I hate it with everything but what can I do I simply got used to it,my first son already took after him as a football fan.
We both understand ourselves perfectly,we have been together for over 10years now. We have had our ups and downs which has taught us to be more united and understand ourselves better.
Our sex life might not be has active as when we where still single cause of kids but we have both been active,we have fun anywhere in the house(of course when kids are asleep or in school).we try out new things and I sure don't forget my bowl of ice-cream when I want to give a special treat(call me a dirty woman/raw woman/sex freak/whatever) I care less,his my man.
We have remained each others best friends,we share gifts,watch movies together,shop together,hubby goes to market for me at times and cook as well, we gossip together and share news with each other. We are both social media fans(we actually meet on a social forum and started as friends before dating which led to our marriage). We don't hide anything from each other. He introduced me to nairaland and he is also a active member on nairaland.
We do not encourage 3rd parties into our affairs,it has never and will never happen. What ever happens within our walls die within our walls.we both help ourselves to remain strong in work life and business life. We support ourselves in every possible way we can with the help of God and for once I have never regretted meeting my hubby. If there is a next life,I would chose the same man all over again.
My marriage is not perfect cause there is no perfect marriage but I tell you,marriage is fun and am loving it all the way.