kulobyno:
Keep analysing girls and their pep talk. You better get a job.

1. You logged on to Nairaland.

2. Came to the romance section.

3. Viewed on a couple of topics including this one.

4. Clicked on reply.

5. Typed the rubbish you typed.

6. Exhausted some limited brain cells doing so.

7. Clicked "Submit"

How many dollars did you make doing all of these?

Teenage Troll.

If you are a guy that has dated any number of ladies, atleast two.

and you are observant.

You must have noticed this before.

There are sometimes you will call your girlfriend and ask her where she is.

She will say she is with: "A Friend"
Sometimes she will say she is with: "My friend"

Have you noticed that there is this reluctance that you sense in her voice when you ask the question and the answer is "A Friend"?
Have you noticed the unease that enters your body when she gives that answer: "A Friend".

The reluctance is there when she is answering you: "My friend". In fact, after she answers "My Friend" She usually proceeds to give you the full name of the friend and sometimes she will allow you to speak to the friend.

On the other hand there is usually an uncomfortable silence that follows the answer "A friend" and an eagerness for her to end the call and "Talk to you later"

The difference is very very very simple.

A Friend = Male friend

My Friend = Female friends.

That male friend is usually someone who is romantically and sexually interested in her.

Ladies why is it that you usually subconsciously make that distinction? "A friend" when it is a male friend and "My friend" when it is a female friend.
Why can't you refer to both as "My friend"?

Godiloveu:
By the way stop mentioning ex they never ex yet!

They have.

According to what Butterscotch92 wrote, he forgave her but he doesn't want a relationship with her again.

Butterscotch92:
I know I deserve all the bashing I'm receiving here and more. But I wonder why it's very difficult for most to believe that I'm actually repentant about the whole thing. I know I really hurt my man which is part of my pain. I can never repeat such action no matter the circumstances with what I've learnt and I believe if I am lucky enough to get a second chance I'll be a much better version of myself and be forever grateful. It happened in the car because I wouldn't have agreed to follow him elsewhere by then it would be premeditated. I rejected every of his attempt to meet him anywhere else. Those were moments of weakness although it cannot be justified.

It's difficult because We have been there before.
I have forgiven a cheating girlfriend several times and I have heard several confessions, admissions of Guilt and Admissions of a desire to change but guess what. It didn't end well. The person had not changed.

I will never do it again because for it to happen the first time and according to you 4 different times, then it means that the girl doesn't Love me or respect me enough regardless of whatever words come from her mouth.

Secondly, Let's take a breakdown look at your actions from what you have told us here
For a smart man, if you told the full confession to your man just as you had told us here then there are certain things that will not help your case at all with him. And I am going to explain to you in a way that no one on this thread has.

1. The fact that it didn't happen just once, not twice not thrice but FOUR TIMES.
You didn't repent the first time, you didn't repent the second time, you still went to enjoy it the third time until something happened the fourth time that made you stop.
It is easier to understand that it was a mistake if it happened just once, but the fact that it happened 4 times, removes any defense that it was just a mistake.
I had a female friend who cheated on her boyfriend with another guy in a car then. She actually enjoyed car sex and she cried and confessed the next day but you? You enjoyed it 4 more times before your senses came.

I'm sorry but I don't believe your moment of weakness storyline. It is not plausible and if your boyfriend reasons like me then you don't stand a chance.

But I am not done, let's move on.

2. The fact that it was a married man did not even stop you. If you had cheated with a single guy that would have been a different thing. Your case is more than just betraying a man, your ex-boyfriend, you also betrayed another woman's marriage. It shows an underlying lack of conscience. Once again the fact that your conscience/guilt did not kick in until you had enjoyed the forbidden fruit 4 times shows that underneath, deep down, regardless of whatever you might think of yourself as a good person and all that, there is something there that is dangerous.

Once again, if it was just once then perhaps we can understand your Moment of weakness angle but the fact that you did it 4 times with another woman's husband and that, that fact didn't stop you from going back the third and fourth time means that there is more to it than the moment of weakness angle that you are playing.

3. You had sex in a car.
This part is a painful part for the man because it shows a general lack of respect for yourself. Car sex to the imagination of someone who is not involved in it looks degrading to the parties involved. Now, this is where you have lied to us, to your boyfriend and probably to yourself.

Butterscotch92:
It happened in the car because I wouldn't have agreed to follow him elsewhere by then it would be premeditated. I rejected every of his attempts to meet him anywhere else.

Are you explaining the first incident or all the other incidences? If sleeping with him in the car was because it wasn't premeditated then what about the second, the third and the fourth time too? You continued entering the car knowing you had had sex with the man and then the sex continued.
The fact that you did it the second, third and fourth time cancels any excuse about the first time not being premeditated. That fact is no longer relevant. Now it is just a matter of you loving car sex. But I can only imagine the excuse you gave for the second, third and fourth time.


4. Did you confess to your boyfriend that you have not cut off the married friend? I highly doubt it, I will explain why in a moment. But let us assume that you did. Considering the first two points, what does it look like? You had a moment of weakness with another woman's husband and this moment of weakness led to 4 different incidences of sex. AND YET YOU DIDN'T CUT HIM OFF What does that say about you? it negates your entire moment of weakness storyline. It makes your remorse look hollow and insincere. In fact, if I were in your ex's shoes, that singular fact will obliterate every possibility of us ever getting back together.

You really need to ask yourself why you still kept in contact with the married man. Somewhere deep down, you're lying to yourself about something.

Your remorse and your guilt were not strong enough to make you block the married man to help your case with your ex just like it wasn't enough to stop you from sleeping with him four times.

5. A woman never tells you everything. A woman's confession is only 20% of the real truth.
This is this reason why I doubted that you told your boyfriend everything. If you had a moment of weakness that made you sleep with a married man four different times then you sure as hell don't have the emotional strength to tell your boyfriend the full truth. If your boyfriend knows this principle then in addition to the other four points that I have mentioned above then you really stand no chance.

If your boyfriend has a friend like me, then you have zero chances of every getting back to him.
I'm sorry but the best thing you can do for yourself and for your ex is to leave him alone and work on yourself.

sinaj:
Fido app.

Fido or Fildo?

I have two websites I go to whenever I look for music.
1. Musicpleer.media

2. Music2k.com

Number 1 sometimes doesn't have some tracks I'm looking for but the interface is better than number 2.

While Number 2 has more tracks than number 1 and is a place you can see more covers and remixes.

But sometimes both sites don't have songs I'm looking for.

So what's your preferred site for download any foreign music?

Do share.

Respect55:

God will bless you. She indirectly chose the guy over me by allowing him do the introduction without reacting. If she had valued me, she wouldn't even mind interrupting the guy and correcting him that she just went on a date with him that I am the boyfriend. She never did that.
No one is talking about that

Bro.

We are on your side. Shebi finally after 200 years midnighter has finally seen that the girl she was defending could not open her mouth to say anything in your presence.

Yet was pushing the blame of her actions into you. And was calling your actions "Childish".

200 years.

Please do whatever it takes to heal.

Take care of yourself.

Your mental health is important too.

The emotional and attention vampire tried to take all the attention for herself with her stunts but good thing they haven't worked.

My prayer is that in the future, you won't run into such girls again

midnighter:


Nah...I stopped the conversation because you were literally quoting me and just writing whatever you felt like, without reference to what I had told you before. I realised from your replies that you were totally incapable of debate, so it was pointless to continue with you.

Anybody who follows that link you posted will be able to see that my dear. I'm glad you posted that one first. Thank you



Yeah, and my rebuttal is completely reasonable but for some reason, you are still unable to understand it. Funny According to you I am "confused" and have an "agenda", yet you refuse to remove a glaring fallacy from your own post, just serve your own agenda! If you are confident in what you have written, there is no need to lie or misrepresent facts.

But because you want to appear "intelligent" to all those people you tagged, you wont go back and correct your error. So you just keep digging yourself into a deeper hole even though we both know that there is no justification for lying that I refused to answer somebody when I didnt.

According to Your Royal Highness I should show you the full extent of my logical capabilities, when you yourself have shown repeatedly that you are hopelessly unable to digest any form of logic.





Writing lies, defending them when confronted and manipulating facts in order to influence the audience, but still rushing to accuse somebody else of doing just that. I guess you must be aiming for a career in politics.

Too bad youre too incompetent to engage in a debate, but I guess that never stopped any of them

Listen. I made a mistake in at that post.

Fine. The error was that I said Sultan5's reply was to you when it wasn't.

I have admitted that error but I maintained that since you and that person he was referring to shared the same point of view, agreed with one another and even exchanged compliments that what he wrote applies to you.

I refused to change it because the mistake had been made already and you've seen it.
The mistake did not detract from my point not the general logic of my comment, so it changes nothing whether I leave it there or not.

In the entire post pointing out your...
confusion,
incoherence,
subtle manipulation,
blaming the OP and
Contradictions

Which I buttressed with facts and examples of your previous comments in This thread.

The only thing you have continued to point out is that I made a mistake which I admitted to.

It means you have nothing against the other things I wrote there and have only chosen to look at the weak link.

Which only makes you look weak.

You have replied every single guy here but when it comes to me.

midnighter:


Nah...I stopped the conversation because you were literally quoting me and just writing whatever you felt like, without reference to what I had told you before. I realised from your replies that you were totally incapable of debate, so it was pointless to continue with you.

Looks like someone who is defeated.

I am happy that you have seen where I also pointed out a comment that you missed where he clearly told the girl off in the presence of his sister.

Good to see that you had already apologised.

While also admitting that you were insulting the OP based on incomplete facts because you were not observant enough to read all his replies.

But agenda must agend

midnighter:


Youre trying so hard to sound smart and failing. You wrote "Someone even replied her and told her that" and "Guess what. She never replied him" when the person quoted somebody else and not me.

Instead of correcting yourself, youre trying to cover up.

Thats why I cut the conversation short in the first place, because you werent making sense.

Loool.

Now you're just flat out lying.
You stopped the conversation because I pushed you to the Logical point and you had nothing else to say.

I have pointed out all the flaws in your arguments thus far on this thread and exposed your true position.

Your only rebuttal is that I made the mistake of attributing a reply made to someone else to you.

Even though you agreed with the person and accepted the compliments the person showered on you.
And even though what the person said can be directly applied to any of your comments thus far of this thread as far as they concern "Closure". Which you yourself cannot deny mentioning, several times for that matter.

I am here and available if you have any other Logical counter to any of the other points I have mentioned.

Let's see the full extent of your Logical capabilities here.

midnighter:
WackyJ1 Hahaha. You'd better edit that last part, since that person wasnt talking to me. Then your stupid thesis will be complete

You have been championing for clean closure since.

The man's statement applies to you as well.

To be honest Midnighter is a very confused girl and it has become apparent to every single male here.

I engaged her and educated her and she gave up in a matter of speaking.
See here: https://www.nairaland.com/5547427/broke-up-double-dating-girlfriend/24#84396493

I thought it had ended there only to come and see that she is still making threads here.

It is clear. She is doesn't like the OP for ignoring the girl.
She always ends up blaming the op for the actions of the girl.

She has blamed him for the girl cheating on him.

midnighter:


I didn't say that he must have done something wrong, or that it was a justification for cheating. I said that it is possible that he has done something wrong, which she responded to by cheating. In fact I said that twice already, so I don't understand why you keep repeating it.
.

midnighter:


I mentioned it as part of a wider point about closure, which you decided to seize on. I said that he should find out what drove her to do what she did, a possible reason being his doing something wrong. That's just one thing she might say.

She has also blamed him for the girl drinking poison and attempting to kill herself.
It's funny because she acknowledges that the girl is stupid and manipulative but somehow ends those posts where she acknowledges the foolishness and manipulative nature of the girl by blaming the guy for not seeking her definition of closure.

See an example here:

midnighter:


This has nothing to do with being nice or generous.

If he had confronted her and reported her to their family members in the first place he wouldn't be wasting his time visiting her in hospital.

The woman has been whining him with stupid behaviours since he caught her with that guy and he just allowed her continue until the whole thing ended with him and her father in the police station. Is it not the biggest pile of rubbish you have ever heard of

How can the stupid girl show up at your sisters house without informing you after clubbing all night with a strange man and you have nothing to say about it

He couldn't even answer the sister who has been buying clothes for her since, as her baby in-law. Very soon he will bring a new girl without even explaining WTF happened to this one. So your sister should keep buying clothes every time you change girls without any explanation right

No serious person behaves like that. He was just being dramatic to entertain himself and you people giving him morale, simple!

She also makes my point here about being unhappy that the OP is ignoring the girl. She has called the action of the OP ignoring the girl Childish and Infantile. She has called it Cheap Revenge.

midnighter:

The whole thing was extremely childish and totally pointless! He messed up

midnighter:
just devising ways of seeking cheap revenge that will still come back to bite him later.

A man was cheated on. He decides to ignore the girl and move on with his life quietly. Yet, his action which brings no harm to anyone is being called Cheap Revenge. Are we not seeing that there is an agenda here?

The same person has alluded that there is a possibility that his actions might have pushed the girl to cheat on him.

If any of you have seen a comment where Midnighter held the girl responsible or accountable for her own actions post it here.
But she wants the OP to go and talk to her to Hold her accountable in the name of closure

midnighter:

That's the point of talking to her, to hold her accountable for her actions. How do you hold somebody accountable unless you get their points

midnighter:

Advise somebody maturely you people won't...just keep encouraging the wrong thing until he gets himself into more trouble

A man was on his own facing his life and his hustle, nursing a broken heart from a cheating girlfriend. The girl is on her own deciding to cause commotion and confusion and yet, He is the one getting himself into more trouble.

See more evidence here.

midnighter:

Your logical reasoning is lacking, I'm sorry to say.

You want me to salute you for landing yourself in a police station like all the confused nwokoro on this thread, I won't!

Once again she is blaming the OP for the girl's actions.

midnighter:

Instead of you to cut yourself off from the vindictive woman you're here swallowing empty praises from unconcerned bystanders who don't care what happens to you either way.

If she had died from all that rubbish she was doing you wouldn't be here to talk to all your fans and admirers so please humour me!

She wants him to cut her off. He did that

Respect55:
My sister had no answers to these questions and I asker her to call the girl at my presence. She did and told her that I still stand my ground that it is over between us. The phone was actually put on loudspeaker so I could hear her at the other end.

In the presence of his sister no less. Yet Midnighter still blames him for her subsequent actions.
How can she be suggesting that he cut her off and yet she still wants him to go and meet her for closure?

See this midnighter babe is mad confused.

She has an agenda and she blames the respect55 for every single thing that has happened. She wants to influence him to take her course of action and she is covering up her attempt at manipulation under the guise of Logical thinking and seeking closure.

Once again here she is blaming Respect55 for the girl's infidelity

midnighter:


The girl said he did something and instead of him to go and find out what it is he's here discussing with hundreds of people who don't even know them!

How can you say you "don't remember" whether you did something or not How can you know if you have offended somebody unless the person tells you?

Of course he would say he doesn't remember, human beings naturally like to paint themselves in a good light and forget their shortcomings.

Go and find out is different from the cut her off she was suggesting earlier. So which is it?

Once more. More blame for the OP

midnighter:

You can't embarrass me into not saying what I think, OP messed up, kpom kwem! Nobody acts like that, he is not serious!

The challenge is still open. Find me a post where Midnighter held the girl herself accountable for her actions. I'll wait.


She wants the OP to follow her suggestion and she is very sure that her suggestion would have prevented the whole thing. When it comes her way, she is completely sure of the girls actions.

midnighter:

She wouldn't have tried all that if all if this was out in the open. Because he didn't air the issue on time is why she had the guts to spoil his name everywhere.

But how can she be so sure that the girl won't continue the manipulation or still go ahead to drink poison when she sees that the OP is refusing to change his stand, when she has admitted the following before

midnighter:


Am I the two-timing woman Do I know why she may or may not have done what she did?

Someone even replied her and told her that

Sultan5:


Correction, clean closure isn't the way, it is your way. But there are merits to your argument granted. But to insinuate that your way is the only way just sounds off to me.

Even repeated what I said above

Sultan5:

No one could have predicted what she did. And you don't know how it would have played out if he had gone for closure. Knowing the op will refuse to take her back. She could have come with poison to threaten him. Claiming to take her own life if he doesn't take her back. I am sure the op wouldn't take her back. Causing her to carry out her threat exposing the op more to legal action than he currently is.

Guess what. She never replied him.

See at this point, it should become clear to everyone that there is no Logic and reasoning here from Midnighter.
Only an agenda and an attempt to coerce and shame the OP into taking responsibility for actions that are not his and to do something that is not in line with his values.

dannybrasky
I888
Korllami007
tejiri4
rs172
jamesfadairo

Sultan5:


Correction, clean closure isn't the way, it is your way. But there are merits to your argument granted. But to insinuate that your way is the only way just sounds off to me.

Not everyone one wants clean closure. And surprise surprise not everyone needs it. There are times you've just had enough and don't really care why they did what they did. As in they have broken a trust so strong and real that it has utterly diminished their importance and reasoning.

You can't toy with people's heart upandan. There's a breaking point where it's just doesn't matter what you have to say. As no excuse no matter how big is enough to absolve you of your misconduct.

Everyone must not react the way you want them to. Just because they don't, doesn't in anyway make them any less right. While you crave closure, the op doesn't care for it as his mind is made up. Learn to step out of your own point of view and try understanding others point of view. You don't have the monopoly as to the right way to do things.

No one could have predicted what she did. And you don't know how it would have played out if he had gone for closure. Knowing the op will refused to take her back. She could have come with poison to threaten him. Claiming to take her own life if he doesn't take her back. Am sure the op wouldn't take her back. Causing her to carry out her threat exposing the op more to legal action than he currently is.

There are many right ways to climb a mountain. But there are mountains that will push the boundaries of your skills. Doesn't mean your strategy is wrong. Just means you're on a challenging mountain.

Thank you..

healthserve:




There's something called perspectives. And many of us as bystanders in this events saw the avenues we saw how we chose to see them because of the emotions it aroused in us.

At her age, her handling asper her maturity/intellectual power forms the basis of her actions. She deeply loves him. I can bet. From today due to this issue I won't comment on relationships issues that borders around breakup.


I maintain my stand she loved him but was ignorant on how best to apply herself. Its a feeling. I'm hardly wrong when I get this way.

Oh God...

This ignorance is thick...

Very thick..

You've have not tangled with a member of the Machiavelian Triad before.

You might not even know what that means..

If you had.

You for no talk this thing.

healthserve:



Very respectful ending... ( I mean her dad's handling of issues )

... Though she loved you truly/genuinely and isn't as terrible as depicted here in many ways....


Good we have men of strong character.


Best of luck Bro

I shake my head and pity you.

You have not been played thoroughly by a manipulator before.


When I mean thoroughly. I mean thoroughly.

If not you will know that Love is not by some bedside confession.

healthserve:



Its a no-brainer she has no case. But after reflecting with my inner man over the issue, I felt or rather I won't break up with a lady for this. I mean it with all sense of responsibility. So I'm making a u-turn from my previous stance of him walking away.


Anyway she got caught up in the massive negative energy the scenario generated which he would have doused down if he gave her the attention she craved after the incident


Anyways, let's watch how things unfold. He remains completely innocent by all means possible.

Let me tell you that your reflection and your inner man is bullshit.

I have dropped logical replies on this thread giving good reasons why it is his choice if he chooses not to have anything to do with her again.

You have allowed yourself to be manipulated into taking responsibility for someone's own lack of emotional responsibility.

If the man was abroad when the girl tried to commit suicide. Who will they hold?

If the man was a big man's son or had high connections. Who will the father hold?

That girl is a demon.

Clear and simple.

midnighter:


I mentioned it as part of a wider point about closure, which you decided to seize on. I said that he should find out what drove her to do what she did, a possible reason being his doing something wrong. That's just one thing she might say.

Am I the two-timing woman Do I know why she may or may not have done what she did?

You are not the two-timing woman yet why is it that the only possible reason you keep repeating that may be responsible for her cheating is a response to him doing something wrong ?
No other possible reason like the one I mentioned about her being greedy, wanting to explore, or wanting someone to give her money and gifts like the new guy was doing. Reasons that are on her and have nothing to do with the guy?

Yet, all you keep saying is that she cheated as a response to something the guy did.
and that he should make the effort to find out what he did wrong .

That is what I have a problem with.
You're subliminally passing potential responsibility to the guy for her cheating.
There are a lot of ways she could have reacted rather than cheating and the fact that she didn't choose either one of those ways makes her unworthy of being talked to in the name of closure.

All the closure he needs is that she is a Lying manipulative cheating B.tch.
That's all.

midnighter:
That's the point of talking to her, to hold her accountable for her actions. How do you hold somebody accountable unless you get their points?

You don't have to know someone's reasons before you hold them accountable for their actions.
All they have to do is cross your boundaries after you have warned them about what would happen if they do. And then you hold them accountable by actually doing what you said you were going to do.

midnighter:

I'm suggesting he talks to her to get a clear narrative of what really happened and the reason why it happened. That's not too much to ask is it?

"Hey baby, Why did you cheat on me?"

"Why did you lie to me?"

"Was I not good enough for you"

How does asking her why she cheated make sense to you?

Have you been cheated on before?

Did you ask why?

Was the exercise productive?

midnighter:


Why not go and talk to her, if only to warn her never to show her shameless face in his sisters house again?

This I agree with.

He can also explain to her (his elder sister) exactly what he said in this thread and that is all the understanding she needs.

Respect55:

She will come as a wife

Your username looked Familiar and then I checked my other account and I realized that we have had an interaction before there around January 2018.

Is this the same girl that you did not see for seven months that you were scared of losing?

midnighter:


I don't think you really read what I wrote.

I didn't say that he must have done something wrong, or that it was a justification for cheating. I said that it is possible that he has done something wrong, which she responded to by cheating. In fact I said that twice already, so I don't understand why you keep repeating it.

If it doesn't "justify" it then why are you mentioning it?
Why then are you suggesting he talks to her and finds out what it is?

midnighter:

You're doing what most overly-emotional guys do, which is totally throw the baby out with the bathwater. Just because you don't like what the girl did and you want to punish her, you're advising the OP in the wrong direction.

Gaining closure over a situation is more important than inflicting pain on the other person. Read it through, 10 times!

Its actually your own advice that doesn't make any sense. If he's done with her then how does it harm him to go and clear up the mess, for his own sake She wasn't the only person in the relationship, stop acting as if they're playing a game and trying to score cheap points against each other.

Let me ask you.

What wrong direction are you saying that we are advising the OP in?

My own advice is to simply never see the girl again.

What closure do you want him to get in this situation?

midnighter:


Who is telling him to go and ask her this You're just being sentimental and that's the whole problem. Your dumb advice is going to land people in hot water because you're thinking of how best to spite the girl and not how to handle the situation maturely.

He handled the situation maturedly already.

Answer the question I asked above, let me understand where you are coming from.

Sleevia:
Only few women commented on this... wackyj1, you showed up bro.

Yea!

Respect55:
After what happened Sunday between us, she haven't called. I'm not expecting her Cann althesame because it's of no effect.
She came to my elder sister's house without my notice and was sobbing uncontrollably(my sis told me so). So my elder sis called me and asked if I'm back to which I told her yes. She asked if I would come and u pleaded with her to give me 30 mins to get some things done.

I got there and met her with my ex who was still crying and my sister consoling her. Moreover, my sister said she hadn't opened her mouth to say anything since she came but have just been crying. I told my sister that I don't have anything to say about that that when she open up to her, let her know what to tell her but that as for me, I'm done with her.


All along, she had her face buried to the ground not being able to look at me maybe her own guilt is eating her up. Let it do more.
I took my leave because she was the last person I was expecting to meet anytime soon.
No other thing have happened. For now I'm just focused on my Hustle and nothing more. No more love.

This girl na pikin.

Manipulative pikin.

How old is she?

Up to 24?

Respect55:

If she isn't a virgin doesn't mean she isn't good. What I'm after is faithfulness.

You cannot get faithfulness from someone with more than 5 body count.

I would have put it at 10 but I decided to reduce it.

One of Ubunja's miseducation thread explains why
https://www.nairaland.com/5322786/ubunjas-miseducation-sexual-imprint

midnighter:


Who said the solution to all flaws is cheating What matters is that was her own solution, which was the cause of the break-up. So she should tell him what drove her to it.

Are you trying to say that you'd rather go on to hurt another person than be informed of a character flaw and work on it?

See, you people are getting caught up in having your sweet revenge on the girl which is not the main thing here. The point is for the guy to tie up his loose ends.

Nobody ends a committed relationship like that except if they're not serious. When you want a divorce don't you have to sit down and with the person and sort it out even though you may hate their guts??

If he meets her and she starts talking rubbish or trying to shift the blame to him, no problem! We know she can do something like that. He's already done with her so he's not going to fall for it, is he?

The woman has packed out of his life already but left her combs and cooking utensils. Let him go and return them to her and get rid of her for good.

This one you people are saying is out of emotion and not logic.

And who said that there must have been something he did wrong that made her cheat?

What if she just wanted to double date?
What if she was greedy and wanted someone to spend more money on her. Which is most likely the case because she was caught while the boyfriend was delivering a gift to her.

You see what you're doing is what most manipulative girls do.

They don't want to take responsibility for their actions and they try to make it appear like it was something the guy did that made them react in that manner.

But it is not.

If the solution to every flaw is not cheating then why should he give a Bleep about her solution?

Let me spell this out for you clearly.

He was cheated on

Read that again.

Now read that a second time.

In case you still don't understand after reading it two times, I will explain.

It means that he was the one that was wronged .

It means that he was the one that was betrayed

He is the one that was hurt

She was looking out for her own interests when she cheated.

He gains nothing by signifying her with meeting him.

That's some cold logic for you.

Your advice is the problem Most men encounter when seeking advice from women in this matter.

Why are you contradicting yourself?
If he is done with her why will he go back to meet her?

When you want a divorce and you hate their guts.

You move out and send a lawyer. Let the lawyers sort things out.

If they refuse, y'all sort it out in Court.

Beside this is not a divorce situation.

Go to ask the girl

"what did I do wrong that made you cheat on me"

Is dumb and your advice favors the girl because it allows her to remove some guilt from her conscience by blaming the guy.

midnighter:

The woman has packed out of his life already but left her combs and cooking utensils. Let him go and return them to her and get rid of her for good.

If these are actual physical items that she forgot in his place, perhaps they were living together before she did what she did (Which further implies that kind of dangerous character that she is), then he should simply call her to come collect her things.

midnighter:


Thanks a lot, I respect you and your view too.

Well, he has already decided that he is no longer interested. So I don't think it will do any harm to have one last bicker

I think you are throwing the baby out with the bathwater. Even though it dignifies her, it still helps him.

He still doesn't even know why she cheated on him. What if he has some bad habit that he doesn't know about and he takes it into the next relationship?

The least that he could get out of a conversation with her would be cause of the cheating.

If he has a bad habit, then he will carry it into the next relationship and the next and the next until he meets a lady who is articulate enough to point it out to him and advice him to change , as well as giving him fair warning that if he refuses to change she will leave him.

See what I did there?

I gave three solid alternatives to cheating.

Is the girl perfect? No.
Is the solution to every flaw in your partner cheating?
No.

So let us not act like "an imaginary" bad habit is the reason why she cheated and the reason why he should stoop low to dignify her by talking to her.

That's what she would want.
Once she smells that he came asking for a reason, she is going to pile everything on his head and make herself look like the victim.
She is capable of that.

He caught her cheating plain and simple and you yourself have already admitted in previous posts that the girl is manipulative.

He handled the matter brilliantly.
Let it end there.

CreepyBlackpool:
I've lost count of how many times I and my current GF have broken up and gotten back together. We're probably on our 15th chance by now.


I think it's the make up sex

You sure you aren't the one always seducing her to come back to you?

Have you ever given an offending partner a second chance in the name of Love and it has come back to hunt you?

How did it happen? Share your story with us.

====
MINE
My ex who cheated on me came back and asked for a second chance and came up with many cock and bull stories as to why it happened and with several "proofs" that she had changed.
I believed because I really loved her then and also because I was very naive back then.
It only took her a few months to change up and start acting cold again and even wanting a breakup.
____________

Since then I learn that Second chances are a waste of time. There are some mistakes that the right person will never make the first time.

Queentee214:
Hi everyone,
Am really confused on what to do right now and I need advice.

I and my ex broke up six months ago...I broke up with him cuz we are always having misunderstandings...not just that..he can't control himself when angry , he always end up insulting me and calling me names but apologize when he is calm.

The last one that led to our break up was when we went to his friend's birthday party..on getting there,,i met an old time friend(a guy) and we talked for few mins .i went back inside where the party was holding and I met my bf angry already,,we end up quarreling there and he called me a prostitute in front of everyone(that wasn't the first time he would embarrass me in public)...

I was hurt and left there...i started ignoring him and the relationship wasn't going well anymore...i broke up with him afterwards ..i love him but I can't accept his flaws ..we tried to get back together but end up blaming each other for everything.

Six months later, I'm in a relationship with another guy..he has his flaws too but not bad...
Now the problem is I still love my ex and we still talk and chat almost everyday...

He is the first person I call when I need advice and vice versa..my ex family thinks we are still together and always call to check up on me....this is causing problems in my new relationship....

I decided to cut contact with my ex but he is isn't ready to let me go and neither am i..

Just last week my bf broke up with me and told me to call him when am ready to cut off contact with my ex...

Am really confused and I don't know how to do what he asked me...pls anyone with advice on how to forget someone should help me

I need to forget and move on from my ex
....pls advice... Thanks

Pls no one should come here and start telling me I met a good guy and toying with his feelings..

My ex is also a good guy, he just has his flaws...I just need advice...

Thanks

Look deep within yourself.

Do you have a parent that abused you when you were a little kid?
Perhaps that is your experience with what Love is from your childhood. So when you see your ex-boyfriend do all those things, you stayed with because he represents something familiar from your past.

OR
Consider this.
Do you really love yourself? Self Love.

Someone who loves himself or herself will not tolerate anything that threatens their peace of mind, their emotional state or their mental state.
If a Knife continues to cut you and make you bleed, will you keep going back to that knife? Someone embarrassed you in public and called you a prostitute, and yet you pine over him.

My ex cheated on me with 7 guys behind my back, she confessed and yet, I never called her a prostitute or a hoe to her face. Anyone will self-respect and self-love will never tolerate that.

What you are feeling for that guy is not Love. It is something like[b] "Codependence"[/b]. Look that word up. It is like being addicted to someone because of the way they made you feel.

You keep going to that guy because he is familiar.
For people like you, Good relationships where you are respected and Loved properly are boring. You always crave abusive relationships.

If you don't love yourself then you cannot show others Love properly because you don't even know what it means. If you don't love yourself, you can never appreciate the proper kind of love, it will look strange and alien to you.

You also have a problem with boundaries and self-control, that is why you can be in a new relationship and still be communicating with your ex every day, not minding who or what you are currently destroying. But how could you mind? When the person you used to destroy your current relationship is someone that was destroying you mentally, emotionally and destroying your public image and yet you still want him.

You need to sit down and currently re-evaluate yourself mentally.

Stay away from relationships and re-evaluate yourself mentally, do research, consult books. Jumping from one relationship to the other will not help you as you will keep destroying good relationships and getting drawn to abusive guys.

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A relationship takes work.

Everyone knows this, everyone mentions it.
You see it everywhere, on every relationship quote by every relationship Instagram account.

But do you know that Being single actually takes work too?

Here are a couple of areas where Being single takes work.

1. Maintaining your single Status.
If you are an attractive person then you must several admirers that are giving your attention or greenlight.
Some of them are attractive as well and their personalities go so well with yours that you know that the relationship will be filled with so much fire, love and romance!
But you just have to control yourself and keep them in the friendzone.

Some days you will miss the 'I love you texts", the cuddling, the sweet words, the mind-blowing fornication, the holding hands, the showing off. All the things that couples enjoy and you have to remember why you chose to be single in the first place. That takes work.

You also have to control yourself when it appears that all your friends are in loving relationships and you keep seeing cute couples pictures everywhere on social media or even worse, they start a couples trend on Nigeria twitter.
And you keep seeing what you are missing being rubbed in your face everywhere.

That takes work too. It is definitely not easy.

2. Doing Personal Evaluation.
Looking at your dating history and considering the different factors why they failed, evaluating your behaviors in those relationships, where you might have contributed to the breakup and finding behaviors that you need to fix is very hard work.

A lot of people avoid doing it because of its difficulty. Instead, they find it easier to keep jumping from one relationship to the other, increasing their body count and fragmenting their soul.
They never see themselves as having any fault in the ending of those relationships, it is always the other person.

Some others deceive themselves and say that there is no use in looking at the past, just forge ahead. Then they forge ahead and keep repeating the same mistakes over and over.

Personal Evaluation is the key to becoming a better person and having successful relationships in the future. Personal Evaluation is hard work and personal Evaluation is best done when one is single.

3. Working on your goals and dreams.
Being in a relationship splits your focus, you are constantly worried about the way your partner is feeling and keeping up with obligations (such as phone calls, dates etcetera) that are necessary for the survival of your relationships. This eats your time and is one of the benefits of being single; not having to do all that.

However you might not be in a relationship and your time is consumed with other things such as going out on dates with members of the opposite sex that you wish to have sex with, Staying focused while single is also hard enough even though admittedly it is far easier to do than when you are in a relationship (except you are in a relationship with a like-minded hustler).

In the Early House today, Popular Social Media Business Woman, Glory Osei and her Husband Muyiwa Folorunsho was dragged on twitter by their former employees for running Businesses that employ and sack their Workers after One month.

Prior to this day, No one knew that she was married to Muyiwa Folorunsho.

They are both Founders of Divergent Company, which own several companies like LandLagos, Shapeyou, Porkmoney, Hyber Factory