₦airaland Forum

@ impish u fry olive oil?
thats ver very very unhealthy it turns the good in olive oil into the opposite! but ride on i dey feel u on the soy sauce.

When you feel the blend is fried but not burnt add the boiled rice

lol

kshow1 my brora. abeg talk am again

its a hard one. sometimes u might not want to encourage it but some frineds are so needy and your heart goes out to help them just because you dont want your friedns relationship or marraiage to be ruined and you wish her well. afterall she is your frnd. but if that kinda scenario happens that my sussy is involved i might do it at that moment and tell my husband after hanging up at least i know he will talk me out of helping her. sometimes in those sorts of situation you need someone else to intervene and bring u back to your senses.

this is soooo bad! this is the worst outcome of chetaing!!! this is even worse than two blck parents and a white or other child!
so how much time when she conceived before she slept with the othe rguy? it must have been a short time and this is bad cos everyone will know!! at least thats wat will come to mind first.

Illiterate girls are better than educated chicks, they obey the husband better

yes but they are street smart and can fool the husband better!

GIRL 3- i will make her give me a BJ.she has multiple sEx partners .i dey fear this girl o.no vaginal only oral
POSTER U ARE A FOOLL U DNMT KNOW U CAN GET STDS FRM ORAL? OLODO

ELRAZUR, WE MEET AGAIN

Your post makes sense. But it is flawed is what am trying to say.

I dismissed everyone’s comments point taken but I wasn’t referring to their entire posts I was talking about the bit where everyone’s saying it doesn’t matter. it does to an extent. So that’s that.

You do not need education to do all of those.

err yes you do! if you cannot read or write you cannot read your bills. However if you claim she will be able to read her bills by learning all the symbols… she can read! In other words she is not completely illiterate.

Again go back to my point of how good their memory are. As for the example you have given, you see their brain are capable of "learning" and as such they identify certain colours, shapes etc with certain places.

Everyone’s brain is capable of learning surely you don’t think I don’t know that? In order for her to learn what these symbols mean my dear Elrazur she will have to be taught! Let me divert from the topic for a minute. Education is not abt sitting in a classroom its abt learning period. She would have to have someone explain or let her know that particular symbol there means stop and the next time she sees it she will know its stop. What is that called? Education. So don’t sit there telling me without education she can use her memory! Are you telling me that her ‘good memory’ will magically tell her a stop sign means stop? She will have to know what it means first! If she can do that for a letter or a book, My brora she can read!

I disagree it may be hard for her, instead I see it as another "challenge" she needs to over come. And just because you have a perception that it is "harder for her" do not mean she wont pull it off.

What does that mean?
Are you trying to say that
A it will not be harder for her without education or
B. It will not be harder for her to be educated.

Here is were I stand.
I think it will be difficult or let me say a ‘challenge’ without education because she is limited in many ways. Yes she can recognise symbols how about the ones she hasn’t seen before? She still has to ask. Limited independence. If I take your logic that all humans are limited then she will be more limited. Her variety of communication is limited too. Most can read, write and speak she can only speak. For example in an office were she wants to subtly pass on a message she can just simply scribble a note but only she cant she will have to whisper. (it’s a lousy example and its not that significant but I’m sure you get my point about limitations.) How about all the little things people take for granted like reading a novel etc? she will be limited from the everyday things to the more important ones. She can pull it off but still be limited.

It will not be harder for her to be Educated. That depends on each persons ability. By it being difficult I mean for her and him in general as a whole. It will be overcome but it wont be a piece of cake for them like I said before!

You didn't have to! Your point appeared to suggest that uneducated people will probably "suffer" in life as a result of their lack of education.

Oh pls. now ure just jumping to conclusions. I don’t think so and my post does not suggest that either! Y r u so paranoid?

Even with a choice of job limited like you are trying to say it doesnt mean she cannot provide some sort of financial support in the relationship.

I dont think that! I stated that her choice of jobs are limited and its true no matter how u try to wriggle around it. Yes we are limited but she is even more limited! I never said or implied she wouldn’t be successful or be able to support him financially. I was simply stating the all the facts for the poster. she may or may not be successful These are possibilities aren’t they? but without education she Is even more limited. Fact.

She can open a shop and run - Hair shop, etc. You would be surprised how many people with little or no education in the UK have similar shops here and they seem to make money. Even ironically enough, people who do not speak a single word of english run businesses in the UK with varying amount of success.

Lol Elrazur why are you repeating me?! I already stated all that before. This just goes to show you are trying to portray me as one sided. STOP IT!

Who says you did? I merely pointed out a flawed logic on purpose. It was a satirical take on what I perceive as your flawed logic.

NO IT WASN’T! you were trying to be rude and you know it!

She already learn logic around her every day. She's already demostrated the mentality to succeed and quite frankly, I believe her reasoning are sound. You see, you do not need to go to school to learn all of these.

Yes but its not abt all that. it is about whether both of them can relate on these levels and more as I said different forms of educations different logic and mentality. Can they both relate on this level? if you read my posts properly you will understand that I don’t mean she has no logic or cant learn that around her. Elrazur open your eyes.

Why do people who work in a saloon have a "backward mentality"? Or should do question be why do you think so? The answer you provided, is not adding up am afraid. She appears to be business savvy, yet you think she may have a backward mentality, Please explain 'cuz I feel like that is a headfuck.

No 1 don’t swear at me. there’s no need for that.
No 2 yes I might think that she may have a backward mentality but I did say it depended on the saloon environment didn’t i? she may have a nice saloon in a better place of town were the workers are more sophisticated or the exact opposite. (Not necessarily in that order). I may have spoke too soon. I did forget abt her home environment. That does play an important role in her ways of reasoning and logic. Like you said her everyday environment.

You can bond with children in many ways. You appear to have over-looked that. Allow me to use myself as an example, I was good artistically when I was in school, yet my dad is rubbish at drawing, so he tend to leave me to get on with it, I suppose using your logic, he didnt bond with me?   I am sure you can see where am going with that.

Stop poking ElrAZUR. You decided to pick only that bit abi?
My above quote was just an example of the little challenges she will also face without reading and writing. the bonding bit was just a plus. of course there are other ways parents bond with children. Stop being difficult! The initial argument was that without the reading and writing she can do everything in her own way without limitations abi? No she cant. She will be limited and that’s the fact.

Well your post would suggest so. Or perhaps am reading it all wrong?

My post does not suggest I’m against the posters choice or that  without education she is useless as ure making it out to be. Just that without the education she will be limited and if he is willing to overlook that there will be ‘challenges’. Also, gaining the education will not just come in one day.

^{Taps feet} Ure making a mointain out of a mole hill elrazur.

Say what? You are automatically dismissing everyone's view and use yours to truncate others? Not exactly a nice way of starting an advice/debate.

point taken. but it does not mean im not making sense. if it diddnt matter he wouldn't be here. the poster knows it does matter to an extent. note the topics states: 'my lover is illiterate what next?' not 'my lover is illiterate does it really matter?'

Please. It is a well known fact that people who cannot read or write have excellent memory. So she will probably not need a shopping list like you are pointing out.

that is just one. phone nko? and other basic things, reading signs, etc as shes coming to the UK it is not like naija were most things are based on asking the nearest person independence plays an important role in the UK. just the simple underground evn those that can read get confused those that cant read at all? ok 4get that. bills, phone, electricity, notices? pls get real she will need to lean on someone a lot! i never said it will be impossible but it will be harder.

Not going to school is not an indication that people will not do well in life.

whoever said it was if you are refferring to the secretarial or office skills i meant her supporting the poster financially without education the possibilities of getting a wide range of jobs are limited is puttign it mildly.Except she starts some sort of business or she is a housewife. like i said limited.

What are these things she should make up for?  What do you mean "on the same level". Here, I personally wont date someone like you because of your logic. Can you not see the flawed logic?

First of all let me highlight the most interesting bit here: whoever said anything about dating you? i dont remember commenting on the dating & meet up zone. ^{shakes head} 'men'.
By on the same level i meant academically. in other words to everyone saying 'so what? take her to school now' you dont just learn all that in a day!
Reading and writing is not all that is learnt in school it concerns, our logic, mentality and reasoning. she is street smrt yes. but people at school are book smart. there are many things the street smart person knows that the book smart person doesnt and vice versa. when she learns to read and write is that really all? i also stated that if she had always worked in that saloon she might have some sort of backward mentality. it is not about if she is backward or not but if she can relate with the poster these levels and more.

A man from the Maisai tribe in Kenya,

she might need to broaden her horizons.
I SAID MIGHT! yes she could have done all that.

you should at least have the basic knowledge to at least help your children with home work, encourage them to read, correct their spellings etc. Yes there is always the option of the lesson teacher but it creates some sort of bond. (as i child i always looked forward to when my mum guided me with me assignments, daily class summary's and when i showed her what i had done in school that day it helped that she understood!).

Again she does not need education to do any of these.

Elrazur do you now see the flawed logic? lol! if she doesnt need education for all that what can i say?

it is not a big deal considering that the guy actually loves the girl.

No one questioned his love for the gurl he came here already telling us abt it.  It is a big deal when you look at the bigger picture. my point has always been that no education today is a big deal reagardless of how you want to argue elrazur. the poster knows that. is it a big deal in love? no.

Do you oppose "educated" people from dating/marrying "uneducated" people?

Elrazur please! your accusations are Preposterous!
im not opposing the poster's choice because she is illiterate i am merely stating that it is going to take some patience and dedictation.

to avoid beign in the middle of the two people the best thing is to confront the person they are abt to cheat with. for example if its a girl meet her in the batchroom and say somthing like that guy is married to my friend or somthing. at least you dont confront the guy and if they quarrel they will not settle on top your head.

na peak oh. cowbel has one disgusting taste ive alwys hated frome wen i was a child.

@ POSTER ok this is a good post. but i have to ask how do they scam you? i actually want to know thier aims.

they post a job and tell you to come for an interview right? how are you then scammed do they offer you the job on the condition that you give them money or what? (NO ONE IS THAT STUPID) even if they ask for money to pay for test it can't be more than 1k right? measly change in naija now so they cant posssibly live off that?surely they cant scam enough money to make a huge profit or can they? i dont see any main gain here. how do they hammer? what is the point?

Also what is the aim of taking your document what can they do with it? surely as long as it a diff name its invalid right?
nairalanders pls enlighten me.

thnx

@ poster pls ignore all the things all these people here are saying about it no beign her fault and who cares if she cant read or write. it is a big deal!
If she cant read or write at all that is a big step to be taken ohh. she cant do any of the basic things, writing list for the market, dropping a simple note for someone, sending a text!!? How many other things wont she know about? We often take school for granted but the fact is apart from reading and writing there are other things we learn in school. biology, history, government economics, music, art name it! Lets not forget that she has grown up in the aunty's saloon so its not as if she could have learnt any office or such related skills. SO NUMBER ONE it is a big deal.

yes the next thing is enrolment in school and all that yes learn to read and write. Is that going to really make up for all the other things she has missed out? i personally don't think she will ever be on the same level of the poster and depending on what kind of environment the saloon had she might have some bad and backward habits and or mentality. (not necessarily though)

NUMBER 2 If the poster is ready to marry her she will need to meet up to a certain standard. one where she can relate on many levels with the poster regarding, work and being able to offer more entailed advice and ideas. she might need to broaden her horizons. you should at least have the basic knowledge to at least help your children with home work, encourage them to read, correct their spellings etc. Yes there is always the option of the lesson teacher but it creates some sort of bond. (as i child i always looked forward to when my mum guided me with me assignments, daily class summary's and when i showed her what i had done in school that day it helped that she understood!).

all im saying is that it is actually a big deal and it would take patience and commitment. it all depends on what the poster expects from a partner.

IT is not a reason to leave but its not a piece of cake either.

how could she cheat on her fiancee? anyone ready to get married and in love is thinking about happy time pickte fences and cute dogs. if anything that is when they wont cheat! she doenst reallly take this relationship seriously. sorry. even when she was pregnant for you? c'mon! she doesn't really care. it seems as if she will cheat again. you love her yes. but be wise. be very wise. dont drag anyone else into this matter. because the end result will just be too bad. these are the kind of secrets you take to the grave.
in fact im speechless. what can you really say in a situation like this? what she did was very bad as in 'nollywood' unbeleivable. Icant really help here so whatever you do please take your time.dont do anything rash. weigh you pros and cons: is she worth staying with? can you completely trust her again? that is the most important question. If you cant you need to leave now instead of holding on as you will never be happy and eventually leave her.

number 1 it was only 3 and a half years ohhh! thy marrie din late 2005
and numbe rtwo it is a publicity stunt!

disney this guy will definitely use you and dump you. make no mistake about it. he has player written all over him.

when im late.
my crying. im quick to cry - thus the name waterworks!
my constant moaning that im fat lol!

wat rubbish! at least the ones receiving know that they are receiving. its better than all dose who give people with bad intentions. speaking of those bastards, what is the cuurent penalty for knowingly spreadign HIV nowadays? any info?

you know her you decide.
make a list. all the points that says shes after money put on one side. all the points that say she loves you put on another and all the points that say she was pressured put on the last side. dont avoid her. give one week to study her update the list as you go along by the end of the week you will have ure answer.

we cant really say because we are not in the relationship and a simple summary willl not sufffice. al we can offer at this point are guesses and assumptions. its all on you. good luck.

@ poster: is that why you are shouting?

at poster ok so you and dammy slept with the same guy and are going into the same family. ehen? so why are you worried? the only problem starts when jide tunde and adebola are friends. but you havent stated that. ehen you can be mad at dammy but as far as im concerned that wont make a difference. it was in both of you's pasts before you met your husband to be so where is the problem
the issue does not concern your relationships it is strictly between you and dammy (even thogh i dont think theres even a big issue) FEAR is not involved and to be honest self neither is WORRY. it should be more like dissapointment or anger that dammy never told u. which doesnt really matter as normally the problem between two friends dating one guy is that the first girl diddnt approve of her friend dating her ex.

youre going bck to dig up old dirt. like i said mountain out of mole hill.

first off let me commend everyones English on this thread. including the poster. if nairaland was a dating site for successfull intellectual men this thread would be the perfect advert.

Secondly i dont undertsand what the poster really means by spiritually. is it that she goes to church but she doesnt take it seriously or you are the type thats alwys in church for one fellowship or the other? depending on the gap it can be managed. Also i think wen she gets maried she might become more spiritual. . stability, loving home, happy family. she will want the whole package. mostly whe n everythign is good and there are no distractions people tend to be more spiritual which shouldnt be the case but sadly it is.

good point about the contradictions there. virgin and good in bed! you must be dreaming!!
A few tricks yes but nothing compared to being good in bed do you know what it takes to be good in bed? parctice not books!

^{leaves to check all your profile piks!}

DAMMY?
What did dammy do?
what are your fears really? is it that you slept with a guy who slept with a friend or that you slept with your boyfriend before you met your fiancee becaus e me i dont understand it oh!
abeg this poster just wanted to post story and there was no story so she started making a mountain out of a mole hill.

ok madam sistah woman calm down! u take everything so seriously you are too defensive. its not a matter of life and death. its an advice forum yes. but its also a getaway (at least for me) so stop taking evrything so personally we might not have seen you face but trust me we have seen you! forever talking one long story here or defending another long story there.  do you know how long it takes to start reading all dese long tings? ure egging your 'haters' on, its not that serious and you're boring us all to death! sometimes simply walking away does the trick.  Are you calm?  Ehen more like it.

ah ah this na advertisemnet na! d babe wan show say na neitrogena she dey use. how she go dey finish all dat in a month? abeggi make we hear word!

Amebo no 1! damn! u be real amebo ohh! lol ah ah u aint taking no prisoners!

@ sistah woman how can one blame u? even if u like it or not u have to pretend to be open with people like amebo no 1 and ladyt on ur back u gats to try mainatin face small abi? lmao!
this nairaland. na una dey keep me going for this work wey i dey so.
una well don ohh!!

first off when u come on forums like this us should never be this specific. what if ure husband to be or any of these people are on nairaland? they would know exactly who you are! u have even given us your job details too. just hope none of hes, yours or dammys friends read this.

@ poster: ure story makes no sense.
  you and dammy slept with the same guy ok no problem how does ure past relationship with jide affect dammy's and ure husband? is dammy husband and ure husband friends with jide? if so it doesnt matter cos it was in the past.

when i was seeing her off one of his male friend saw us and really liked me

who's male friend? the guy from the first broken relationship?

and also you said:

he told me that he was dating dammy before he met me and they both knew the relationship was just a fling. . . she confirmed it and was apologising saying that she wished me well and she never knew that my relationship with jide would not work and that she never knew that his brother in law would fall in  love with me,

why was she saying she never knew the relationship would not work? so in other words she diddnt tell you that she dated him first because she thought the relationship between you and jide would work? ive gotto tell you normally when people hide such it cos they think the relationship would not work and therefore its not necessary to tell not because they think it will!


so far i dont see ure problem is it cos u and ure frnd dated the same guy ure worried? because thats the only wahala i see here. its not as if the guys u both dated are friends with ure husband even if isnt it before you got invloved with them? what are we supposed to help you with?

packing takeaway for later when a guy takes them out on a date. HORIBLE not to mention degrading!

yes it is. the thing is invite allllllll the people you want the for traditional let it be big plenty rice and all let the inlws bring who they want. then for your white wedding you can do it in a hall and give invitation to all your close family and friends. that way evrybody is happy.

dbanj is smart to all those dissing him. its an entertainment industry after all and hsould not be taken literally! its just for £££ and $$$ and that is what he will make. very smart on hes part i must say. ride on. this one go interesting pas sbig brother. i cant wait to laugh at all the gurls who will be throwing themsleves at hes feet. lol!!! i can just imagine the ones trying to put fake funne and the ones trying to pose with fake designer bags trust me yall this will be good!