₦airaland Forum

Why this Timaya nor dey quick baff for morning?
See as he face be.

Nairalanders, please I have a question. Is Davido fu~king Chioma? Please I need to know.

Amaka disappoint me

mightguy:
Igbo amaka. Go to the waste and see how mentally deranged cone heads roam about the street. Some looking dirty and some wearing good clothes but still mad xpecially Sai baba people. Sarrki. Butterflyleo

When will you charge your brain?

HoodBillionaire:
so dat guy on red camry na armed robber
well d whole of benin is filled with robbers
disguising as legit
mostly drive camry,rx. edo stae is a town filled with cultists and robbers
its like jamaica
u can get robbed and killed asap.
fuc

You know the guy ni?

Omo Wobe!

That guy is a PDP house of representatives member. His name is EJ Agbonayinma

juddywizard:
Back when I was in 200l,i hate going home because I have no friends I can relate with at home. It was the time of post utme,i was walking on the street of my hostel when one lady came to me for a favour. She said she was here for the exam and she had no where to stay, she asked me if I could get her a place to sleep overnight, I told her all my female friends had gone home, and the only option left was for her to sleep at my place. She didn't mind, so I took her to my place,offered her food and we got along quickly.
I didn't know what happened during the night but we found ourselves having S*x. The next day,I followed her to school for her exam,after the exam we hit the gas almost all day and night again, then we exchanged nos and she left for home which she told me was Ibadan......we spoke for about 2 weeks or so,and all of a sudden her line didn't go through again. Admission list came out and I didn't see any traces of her in school. I know for sure she lost her phone cos we were already into each other. Have not changed my hostel incase you are here on nairaland reading this

Idiaatt! You fu~ked a ghost

Simplep:
I swear,d guy no allow me sleep till day break,d following week he called me nd was like 'do u kn who is speaking,its dat guy dat rescued u frm those bad guys',and i said 'ehen,wat is it?' He jst ended d call and i did not hear frm him again

The Guy finally had his way ba?

wittyt98:
getting closer is the easiest thing for to do when i need help but concerning the phone call thing, bros you re not alone o we plenty
i so much hate taking calls i don't call people and even when people call, i just stare at the screen motherfvckerly wondering why they Couldn't text me instead and even texting i get tired of after a short while cus i get bored easily whenever i open my whatsapp and see how many text I'm yet to reply i just laugh at my horrible yet beautiful introverted life

Bros, I have one question for you and I want you to give me a direct answer. Bros, do you masturbate

Dead man walking �

mynaijadj:
"Make up" is the biggest scam in Naija,next to APC's change. I bet you won't recognize that PA if she walked by you without make up.

Bros, that girl was my junior in secondary school, I was shocked when I saw her pictures emerge on the internet looking all beautiful and spotless. But she f~cked it all up when she did a video about the incident without make up. Make up is EVIL!

This could have been Nigeria. But we failed to utilize our resources.

consultancy:
Went to withdraw 100k from UBA sumtime ago. After I was paid (guess the cashier didn't expect me to recount), I tore the wrapper off and started to count the money, while looking out for a counterfeit note (cos I spotted her slotting it in between the bundle of 500 Naira notes. Boom!, I found it, and I asked her, Madam pls what's dis? Do banks now pay counterfeit notes to customers? I could see the fear in her eyes as she begged me to give her the money back so she would change for me, while apologizing #profusely. I just pitied her, returned the money, she changed it, and I left, without anyone else in the bank knowing what happened except I and the lady. I won't be surprised if she has lots of such fake currency and she keeps putting them piece by piece into money she pays to customers who withdraw in bulk. At the close of day, she deducts the real currency from the banks money. Just like that she could make over 50k daily. Moral of the story, there are thieves and fraudsters now working in banks, be careful with ur money

Bros, how does one identify fake currency note easily?

Why does that tall man in the picture looks like a scare crow

Yvonne Imongan Don blow small. She was my junior in secondary school.

How much them Dey pay Lieutenants? I hear is about N150,000

Good day everyone.
I remember while writing my second GCE in 2008, I met some really mature guys, and because I came off as some intelligent young chap, they quickly made friends with me, because I might be of help to them in the examination hall.

I became very close to one of the Senior Guys then, and he wasn't that intelligent and I was willing to help him, and he rewarded me in some ways.

Now, where does SARS come into the picture? Long long before now, I've been hearing about SARS, my little knowledge about them was that they were a team of the police who are trained for Anti Robbery cases. I remember I used to see them positioned at strategic points, especially close to a bank and I had a friend who had a father in SARS.

They were not as dreaded as they are now, as they were only concerned with Armed robbery cases or maybe I didn't know much then.

I was about to get the shocker of my life, when I asked my friend who had his dad in SARS how they go about their operation when received a distress call. My friend sighted an example of when his dad and his team carried out a anti robbery operation when they received a distressed call from someone. He said when the team of SARS got close to the place, they laid wait in the gutters at strategic points, apparently waiting for the robbers to finish up while they run into their ambush. He said when the robbers where done, as they entered their vehicle in bid to move out from the street and started moving like a fish moving towards the hook of a fishermans trap, they (SARS) opened fire on their vehicle just like the Murtala Mohammed way. And that's how they killed everyone in that car. Now my question to my friend was, what if there was a kidnapped victim in that car? Well, your guess is as good as mine. But as then, I hailed them because the arm robbery cases in my state (Edo State) was becoming alarming.

Now back to my GCE friend I just got acquainted with. We got talking on so many matters and there was a lot I could learn from him. We talked to the point where SARS came into the picture.
He did mentioned to me that as at 2007, SARS celebrated Two Thousand (2000) that they have killed in Benin and the state at large. I was wowed! You mean 2000 boys killed? He said they celebrated it well, drinking beer, shooting in the air sporadically and what a view. He told me how they usually go to bury the boys they killed, his house according to him is close to a cemetery and it's a storey building. He said they just higher a tractor to dig a hole and vroom, the dead ones are poured inside and covered. As at then, somehow I still saw nothing wrong about this as they are getting rid of evil elements in the society.

Now come to recent times, the SARS you see today are now hunting for just internet fraudsters and every fresh looking or nice looking youngster they see on the streets. From searching your phones to find something incriminating to taking you to an ATM to rip you off your money. More often than non, they lay false allegation on you and threaten to kill you and boldy tell you that nothing will happen if they do so. They are being used by the privilege ones of the society to oppress the poor, where they beat you like an animal and if care is not taking, they beat you to sleep(Death). They have lead to the death of so many innocent victims. Why are the people meant to protect it's citizens start maiming them?

I weep for my Nation Nigeria.
Why are We Retrogressing?
We are progressing in failure?

Chei! Who slapped me?

Will their children look alike?

dynicks:
the name i see is MR REX CHIDUBEM DAVID ADEWUMNI MOHAMMED....

That represents a true Nigerian.

BruncleZuma:


Referring to age OP I am disappointed in you...and others who don't know their right. No one should be discriminated against by age, sex, religious affiliation or even state of origin.

All the companies you mentioned will never post age limits in their respective countries of origin but because we have accepted to be used as Bunsen burner for every and any schmuck and their schticks we are left to imbibe these discriminatory failures into our academic and national lives.

If you smart you smart of you no smart cramming to pass aptitude test nah the least of your worries.(This I agree with you over.)

And that reminds me most oil and gas companies will take students from Uniben it's called having an Alumnus.

You don't mean it? I graduated from Uniben too, I have a degree in Production Engineering. Please kindly connect me, I'm young, vibrant and hardworking. You won't be disappointed.

Abbey2sam:
Too long a post

And you had to quote the long post?? Haa! Use ur brain Nah.

Awon Small girl big God.

wondamusic:
Ahhh better....Today is my final exam oh wish me sucessss

Hope you read hard, success only comes to the prepared! Best wishes!

Go and never come ~ba....

blackaxe78:
Went to a party and was not served food despite coming ahead of scheduled time

Egede!

HoodBillionaire:
i beat my room mates for hall 3
fight for common room
fight for galaxy barbershop
i almost fight barry wey nor wan gimme change since 1week...
but by 300l
na osasogie tins
who gst epp
abegi

alumni uniben 2011 set

My broda, Wetin u gain?

Tokziby:
No 11. Living very far from the school cos of low cost or luxury. There are times lectures are very early or late but due to traffic or other constraints u'll fail to attend. And sometimes u feel very lazy cos distance and thinking u can always catch up with the course.
In addition avoid coming from home no matter the distance. If ur parents are not sending u on errands or house chores, u will feel too comfortable and loose focus. And u'll end up missing 30-40% of lectures

Strongly Agree.