Junnior:
What do you guys think of guys who marry actresses? Are they simps?

Some Hollywood actresses are married and you would hear them say stuff like: "my husband is aware I'm taking these roles. He is aware of the sex scenes. He knows it's all acting. We are happy. We have a great marriage".

What do you guys think?

Tobest2020:
I use to think that I'm not always lucky with getting the right partner, which is also true but getting the entitled once has always been the trend for me.

My current girl is so selfish, arrogant n entitled.You can never go away with her 1kobo yet she never hesitates to ask, take n spend yours with reckless abandon.No matter what I do for this girl she never appreciates,not even the slightest.You can be helping her with one thing and as soon as you done,she wants you to do something else and if you refuse it becomes a quarrel for her, forgetting almost immediately the one you just finished helping her with.. She's very manipulative and the worst I hate the most she likes to ask people to help her with this or that one..I feel she's someone that will beg your enemy in the slightest observation of your "brokeness"..So far money is concerned she can collect from just anyone.

This and so many more I cannot even begin to write down.yet I still find myself wanting her.What I feel for her I'm trying to kill within me but I'm failing,we had a quarrel and the highest I could go not taking to her was just 4days afterwards I shameless went to apologize for doing nothing wrong ... it's so pathetic and right about now I need help,it feels like I've lost myself and she knows I'll always come back again and again no matter how she hurts me.What do I do?

Martinez39s:
Who followed the Derrick Jaxn scandal?

Vivianagoja:
Guys good afternoon
Am a little tense now...
The issue here is on this particular day my girl was chatting with her phone, she never knew I was glancing.
I noticed there is this Guy she always chats with, anytime they are done she clears her chat with the guy.

As a human being should react I confronted her About the guy and she replied me that

" The guy is a family friend and if I don't believe her, then no wahala "
I now asked so why clear a family friends chat always and she answered

" That it is her chat and she has the right to clear it"
And she also added that no one can stop her from chatting with the guy even Me.

And she was the one who now got angry and was reacting in a way that shows she doesn't care if she loses me or not.

Later she came and apologize to me...
But am still frightened about the whole issue

Please guys there say two heads are Better than one...
what do I do now??

DaudaTheSexyGuy:
She's your girlfriend not your wife therefore she has a right to keep other options open!

Dpsychologist:

This thread is long, however i tried as much as possible to be exact so you can understand.

In most relationships, it’s women who are the leaders.
They take charge and subjugate men by taking the judge role in the relationship. What does that mean?

It means that they take control of the frame of reference on what’s good or wrong, what’s proper and improper, and on what are the standards of behavior ( video example here ).
Men rarely challenge her frame, which basically means: they end up playing by her rules.

That’s from a big picture perspective, but the big picture is not the focus of this thread
The practical side is the focus of this thread
And to enforce her frame of reference in the day to day life, she uses the following compliance tools:

1. Drama & nagging (set the priorities of what’s important)
2. Blaming & criticism (browbeats him on the defensive)
3. Shaming (the compliance superpower)
With these three tools she becomes the relationship leader, which allows her to:
Task him (so he can provide for her and make her happy)

othermen:
What about her good attributes? Our characterisation of another often say much about our own character even.

I am certain that you have received many support to reinforce your decision as regards this matter from this platform. But I will be clear with somethings to you Sir.

She is always right and unapologetic-
This is ambiguous expression, why would anyone be apologetic for being right or being always right? I think what you mean to say, is that she is sometimes wrong and when wrong, she is unapologetic. This is no great attitude, however I think you are exaggerating…for instance to you, it is wrong of her to put her picture on WhatsApp status, and so because you have a circle of folks with like minds, they agree with you, you confront her, but she really don’t understand why she should apologise for not hiding her face.

What you want is not a wife, what you want is a slave… someone scared of you, someone insecure, someone that can’t disagree with your opinion or ideas. We apologise because we want peace, but she might choose not to apologise because you don’t deserve it and because it legitimises whatever request or position you held. You must deserve an apology to get one, Sir.

She is always eager to harass and disrespect me-

I am wondering how she could have harassed you and disrespected you, by disagreeing with you, you may feel disrespected, by her refusal to lick your ‘asss’ sir, that may be want you mean by disrespect. And what does she harass you with? Her free will, her intelligence, because when you say harass, I am sure you mean, she intimidates you.

Perhaps because of your background, you don’t come from a place, where women should have a voice…, you come from a place where you expect her to do your laundry. Sir, you have to grow beyond your background, and if she has been physically aggressive towards you, I could say you must have cultivated such habit in your relationship yourself. Again, you must earn respect and it is often from reciprocality.

She can’t cook-

This is just to get the bandwagon to follow you, and it is from expressions like this, that I began to perceive that you may not have characterised her in a just or fair manner after all. When a lady, comes to this platform and say, ‘he can’t even Bleep’ while this may be a legitimate concern, the context of such an expression is already coloured. It is an empty banter statement and it is incomplete, inordinate and incautious… she don’t cook is different from she can’t cook, she can’t cook well is different from she can’t cook. She is not your cook, at least not yet!

I can imagine your small kitchen, and she spend hours and tire herself making you a meal, and you open your mouth and dismiss her effort…you have not encouraged her to help with the meals. I however encourage everyone (both genders) to please learn how to cook and cook well. In some relationship, meals are important.

I don't think I am alone- I have stopped trying to figure out what this mean.

She advertises herself on WhatsApp-

Your characterisation again is lacking in good judgment. If you have absolute power, you would not merely have her use Hijab, you would also compel her to use Niqab. Sir, she being with you, does not create an obligation from her part, to shield herself from everyone else.

Women want to be complimented, married women use make-up to be admired. It is not an evidence of desire for lust, than it is what makes everyone of us human, and for you to think otherwise, shows that you may be unmindful. This is a symptom of paranoid personality disorder.

Acting possessed and trying to overpower -

So whenever she tries to overpower you , she is possessed and because you cannot accept that she is more powerful than you, she must be possessed, possessed by a dominant gene I suppose. Power based relationship often lead to revolt especially in this age. Accept that she is not inferior to you, treat her with love and respect, master her with care, and she will submit to you. But the more you think it is a matter of brawn not brain, you would likely be overpowered in other facet of life.


She drinks alcohol-

Young girls today, they go to club, they smoke, they do drugs and all manner of things. After doing so, they still go to mass on Sunday, some Muslim girls during the fast, break with Shisha. We live in an age that for social acceptance, you should know how to take a cup of alcohol or wine. What you didn’t say, is if she is alcoholic, I am sure if she is, you would have mentioned that.

Her drinking of alcohol however may not merely be against your desire but also your religious belief. But chill, Nigeria is a significant consumer of alcohol and yet highly religious, if it against your belief, and you cannot tolerate it. Then I think, of coz, give her a choice between you and it. In the end, it is your life, do what is best for you.

Wearing a waist bead and ankle bracelet- One good person here has already addressed this.

She is kind of my way or nothing-

This is not negligible Sir. It should be about the best way, the most reasonable way and the most advantageous way... not about her way or your way. If she has always had her way, then she is an asset. Many corporate organisations pay lots for such skills. But an extremely disagreeable person in a relationship can be overwhelmingly distressing, and what matters goes beyond the goal. But what is your goal? If your goal is peace, then the way to peace may be allowing her to have her way. You both win. But I am sure, what I have said is not so realistic, there would always be varying perspectives. Engage her, not forcefully, but reasonably. I am sure she will see reasons when you do that. Sometimes, concede to her needs, ask her counsel…and stop thinking she should have no intelligence and no thoughts of her own because this person is a she.

Easily get upset and next ruin my day-

Being upset is a reaction, and when she is upset, she is not having a great day either. She has given you two years of her life, and you can't find a single good thing to say about her, when she has assisted you with counsel, or tended your needs... Help her when she is upset Sir or walk away. Walking away is better these days, if you think you are not compatible, it is better than having to live a life of despair for the rest of your days, for her and for you, it may be the most advantageous.

But I needed to be clear with you, Your write up- projects you as a very weak person, and not just weak, but also as someone who can’t put with a stronger will. You cannot manage a relationship as at now, and your brain process suggest to you, that the solution is to marry two women. Don’t you think that something is inadequate with that brain? It is that same brain, that evokes all of the problem with her, that is why, it is essential another look is given. I hope you work on it Sir.

Lisabi01:
Good morning family. I need your advice. This post might be long. Kindly ignore my jargons.

I and my fiancée have been dating for years now (childhood love). 4 years ago, we broke up for like a year due to her infidelity. During that time, I was with different girls who are worse, except a girl (Bisi) who was a friend then, and was in a relationship as at then (I'll come back to this).

Back to 4 years ago, after we (i and my fiancée)broke up, things starts falling in its place, and I started living large. It all ended after we got back together, and I was back to square one. I thought it was because I was still in school, but it continued after school.

I met another girl last year, we were just friends, no strings attached. This girl told me that I have a problem, and that I'm not bothered about it. My response was that we all have different problem and that this was my trying times. She responded saying "is this how your life was few years ago?" She asked me to go out to a pastor and make my own findings. I've never seen this girl prior to this, we just talk on phone.

As per her advice, I went out to seek for a divine solution (I never believed in seeking spiritual solution from a pastor, Alfa or a traditional worshiper, but I did this time around). I was told that when things was good for me, I had a girl that I dated throughout that time, and that I should try and connect her again. I thought about it, and they were actually right. It was when I stopped calling this girl that things went south for me. I told them I don't have any connection with her again and that i can't connect her. I was later told to be observant, and that I'll meet another girl, and that thing will change for me.

Back to my friend, Bisi..... She was in an open relationship. I envied their relationship then, and I was crushing on her secretly ( I and my fiancée wasn't together then). I met Bisi recently and she told me she broke up with her boyfriend. We became friends again, and we started getting closer. She doesn't live in my town, and we don't see at all because I don't have the time. But I noticed she's all I want in a woman, and since I met her, my pocket never runs dry. I don't have that intention of dating her at first until I noticed my pocket.

Now that I'm engaged, my introduction is coming up soon, and my extended family members and my fiancée's are all aware of the date. I should have done the introduction months ago before this pandemic, but my fiancée said some hurtful and hateful words to me which I still remember and I'm still keeping it to myself. She also have some attitudes I've been correcting but never takes to correction.

I know you'll say when I noticed all the above, why can't i bail out? There's a saying : the devil you've known for long is better than an angel you just met. She's that devil I've known for long and she's been known and has the support of family and friends.
You'll also ask: will they live together with us? My answer is so dumb cos I thought I can't find anybody better than her, even though my pocket runs dry. And one of the pastors said things will get better with her.

The dilemma I'm in now is should I put the introduction on hold, or I should go ahead with it for further observation on Bisi, or I should just carry my cross and work things out with my fiancée.... A broken relationship is better than a broken marriage, so they say.

Insults are welcomed, just for me to be a better me.

NB: I'm not in a relationship with Bisi (not her real name)

realonecrilar:
I met this girl around march and we started dating,though she's a moslem but not a practicing one and I told her my do and don't.
I hate been treaed as a fool,been disrespected and she said she already knows me for that.
So as we continue the relationship i told her if she really want me ,she has to be religious.
All these days we always meet at a friend's place very close to her house, I told her to be coming to my place not to always see at a friend's place , she said her parents won't allow her to go out.
I told her relationship is about commitments she has to show it .
Though we only had sex twice and she told me she can't trade me with any woman after those actions, she calls at times and i always recharge her simcard when i have something with me and doing some neccesary things a guy should be doing for her girl.
She always call in the morning and night and I always do that too,we planned our life together and to get married lately next year.
Her sisters and her friends knows me already and we always do things together.
But it happened three weeks ago, whenever we had an agreement to meet at weekend she always turn me down but during the week days she always call and express her emotions , we can't see during the week days,we were both busy with our works about the relationship but don't always sees during the weekend again and I noticed something was wrong and she promised she will always be faithful but now opposite .
She like staying around me.
Last saturday she called like 4times and I did like 6times too , we gisted talks alot on phone and we promised to see on sunday but on sunday she didn't pick my calls to know how to meet, till night she didn't pick my calls,it was around 10pm that she called back when she knows I couldn't make it to come again and was already late,she told me she was charging her phone since morning somewhere, and I told her how can that happen at this period of civilization when people always have their phones at hand,lies..
She has been doing that since three week now,won't pick when we are to see , avoiding sex..
I noticed she has been avoiding me because of sex or probably she's cheating on me.
So on that faithful sunday I told her how I felt that she shouldn't be too smart to someone who loves her and cares for her and I hang up the call.she called back I didn't pick her calls,she called back on monday too thrice and once on tuesday and I didn't pick it cos i was angry with her , and she stopped calling since tuesday, till yesterday, Friday ,I guess this was a SHIT TEST i didn't bother to call too since then,so on friday when sheb didn't call , i tried to call her to forgive her by 10pm to take her apologies cos she always apologize when she call back at night, and what she said on picking my call was "what happened" and I told her "are you telling me what happened" the statement was worrisome and I hand up my call, she didn't call back and i didn't too.
Around 12:30am I sent her a break up message and I told her about her attitudes .
Too disrespectful.
Not religious.
Sending call me back despite having call card on phone.
Not considering my emotions.
So she received the message immediately and she didnt call or text back and I lockedup, life continues..
I guess someone is lecturing her on me to have me strongly becausr she always tell me to be faithful with her and promise to mary two wifes or she's alredy moving out with another guy which i'vent confirmed.
I need your advice , i love this girl, though she's not up to my standard academically,religiously,understanding issues,and how to talk to me. so i'm working on it and she's improving..

PS573:
I'm in a relationship with a lady I love so much, she's so loving, caring and kind to me and after some months I asked her (Can you marry me?) She replied yes and she asked are you sure you can marry me? I replied YEs.

After Two weeks time she came to my house sadly, I asked what's wrong with her? She asked me again' are you sure you can marry me and I replied YES and YES, she said OK!

She opened up to me after some months, that she have "Tow kids from Two different men".... I felt so bad,speechless and confuse for a while, I just closed the conversation that day but till now I'm still confuse because I loved her before she opened up to me.

Please I need your advice what to do because I'm confuse and scared right now.

I appreciate all comments


I'm sick of these beta males on nairaland. How are u going to start your life with a woman with 2 kids from different men with no prior marriage and history u know of. Raise another man's kid with no appreciation n she cheats on u with same baby daddies she left for u. you need some help bro[font=Lucida Sans Unicode][/font][i][/i]

bodybuilder:
Come of it one man one woman relationship is good for the society, for raising children.

But sexually you cannot monopolise sexual attraction.
You cannot be conditioned fucking one woman or man your whole life.

No matter how you love Egusi soup, you cannot eat it everyday.

I think open marriages are more realistic.

Threedoorsdown:
Hello Everyone

i just feel the need to share this, i may be wrong on my thoughts or submission but i'm open to corrections and suggestions if any

My GF( of almost a year) and I are working and comfortable . i have a white collar job while she is her own employer . I support her by giving monthly allowance and also helping out on any other needs she may have as a normal guy does to the woman he loves. In situations where i cannot offset the full bill, i give her a significant amount while she adds the rest . Few times she has fueled my car( about 2 to 3 times), other than this she hardly supports me whenever i'm down financially except lending money to me a few times and i pay back at the appointed time . One time we had issues and she threatened to call soldiers on me if i do not refund the money she lent me, i had to pay up before time.

Apart from the fact that she seems proud and ungrateful for the things i do( she once told me i gave her a meagre 20K monthly , money that cannot buy material while her then ex gave her over 50k bla bla bla. ), our major issues started when i became worried that she hardly supports me financially whenever i'm in need ( support here means lending me money o). whenever i ask to borrow money from her, she then gives excuses of bank application network and stuffs like that. i complained and confronted her on her lack of empathy and supporting a man who she claims to love and plan to get married to in the nearest future.

when we argue about this, she tells me that she has discussed this with people and they said i'm entitled to her money. This was after she once told me that she had sworn never to assist any BF financially except her husband because two of her exes who she did things for ended up marrying other women. she says she sees how her friend's BFs do EVERYTHING for them and wish her own also did EVERYTHING for her. she also said she envied her brother's fiancee because he does everything for her( the girl is from a very humble background and does not work, still a student)

i explained to her that i'm in no way interested in her money but i need to know and be rest assured that the lady i'm about to get married to , is willing to support me in our home and not just watch me to suffer when i need help at times and also to show that she can be a pillar. i told her if she could not commit financially while we date, how would she do so in the marriage. This is still someone not ready and willing to accept a modest and less expensive wedding as she feels otherwise since wedding is a once in a lifetime thing she should have a she was not ready to commit rather said we should end things. i agreed and we ended it

i brought this here to know if i was wrong to have complained about her lack of commitment or i did not reason well on the matter . i believe love comes with sacrifices for our partners

pansophist:
No one can make you a slave without your consent. She started this bit by bit, and your reaction showed her that you have no self-respect and will tolerate even her most despicable behaviour. And stop saying she loves you, because from what you described up there, she cant possibly love you. From the look of things, its high likely that she is with you for your provider status, since despite her bad behaviours you rewarded her with iPhone x and the main breadwinner of her sustenance

You've positioned yourself to be a lucrative idiot with no sense of worth, and she has you by the balls. Now ask yourself this question, what benefit does she contributes to your life? If she insults you, freely award you dose of slaps, disrespect you and your mum, withhold sex, doesn't contributes financially to your relationship, then please tell me how exactly she is beneficial to you? You're the prize here, but so foolish that you have to bring this to nairaland for strangers to solve, where are your balls? Tufiakwa.

No one will treat you better than you treat yourself, respect is deserved not freely given. You should leave her, because she will never respect you regardless if you toughen up. The numerous slaps your face has been blessed with can not be undone, and she sill resent you deeply because you cant even stand up for yourself, talk more of standing up for your family to the outside world.

She may not articulate this, but she will hate the fact that a weak man like you is what she could settle with. Chances are, she is on the lookout for a better option, and once he shows up, your sorry ass will be dumped as you'll have outlived your usefulness. Have an abundance mindset and move on, there are millions of girls out there. You are suffering from 'oneitis', and you need to put yourself out there, and see that truly, you've been suffering all these while.

mrbanji:

Good day sir, it will cost 450k

seyi371:
So many stupid boys on this forum.

iLegendd:
I'm hurt to see there are too many nice guys who get used and dumped by women. With pains in my heart, I will be giving out the entire Mr. Friendzone book for free to 100 men. The free period will last two days. It will be this week or next. After two days, it won't be free again.

The book costs 14k, but was later reduced to 7k to enable every get it. Luckily, I will be giving it out for free. All men, be you a relationship pro or not, deserves to read it. You'll learn a lot.

Interested

LivingFree:
You sound overbearing, is this not an adult who has lived all her life governing herself? How do you come along and start telling her what to do? I think you should let people live their life how they see fit and if you have a problem with the way they're doing things you should recognise that it's your problem and you should reflect on how you can manage it or if it's a deal breaker for you then move on with you're life. Imagine telling someone to close the door when they're using the toilet. It's not everybody that closes the door when they're pissing and they live with their partner. I find it uncomfortable personally so I close my door instead of telling them what to do. You don't sound like a fun person to be around always correcting people upandan like you an eraser. Learn to chill and deal with your control issues.

Martinez19:
I am an atheist and personally I can't. I can't permit and tolerate my children being taught religious and other mystical beliefs. My spouse should share my atheism or else I no do again .

Another thing I observe is that a religious couple with differing beliefs either have to be hypocritical or ignorant of their scripture to live with each other. If you are a Muslim husband, how can you be happy with your christian wife and lead a peaceful marriage? Don't you know that your wife will end up in your Islamic hell? Aren't you concern? It's either you are a hypocrite or don't understand your holy book. Mr. Christian husband, your Muslim sweet heart is going to hell and won't have eternal life. How couples like this can live peacefully is beyond me.

So over to guys, can you marry a spouse that doesn't share you believes?