₦airaland Forum

Rapture4real:
Whenever I read sensible comment like this on nairaland, I dont wish to continue reading other comments to avoid reading senseless ones. God bless you my Sister.We must fear God and not glorify what can unleash His wrath on us.Rom.1:18-32

Bone that side. Not everyone follows your God or denomination of your own God.
If your want to continue reading comments that align with your own, go to the religious section.

imagrg:
You must check the acidity and porosity of the abuna and peruse the peripheral and determine its depth before having her for keeps if you want a lasting marriage otherwise......

Someone in my church married in August this year and divorced his wife this year. When asked the reason, he said the wife was very religious and opted for sex after marriage. That she even claimed to be a virgin.

After marriage, the man tried to penetrate her and discovered that she was not only a borehole but that the water that gushed out of the industrial hole smelt like rotten egg. That because of the money he spent on the wedding ceremony, he had to keep up with the situation for a few months before returning the 'damaged' product to the producers of the 'fake' product.

Next time, which verse of the Bible will you quote to convince the young man not to test drive before buying?

I've even told my son that the woman he would bring home for marriage must be at least 3 months pregnant for him before I would allow the union because many girls on the streets these days have done damage to their wombs.

A couple close to my house have been married for twelve years now and childless.

We should stop deceiving ourselves. Marriage is till death do you part. So, don't lose your head in making your choice. Shine your eyes or regret your decision later.

Thump up. My former neighbour has gone 15 years of marriage without any baby. In fact I know many people of over 10 years marriage without any issue. The couples go from hospital to pastor to babalawo spending hundreds of thousands of naira looking for just one child.
My wife's friend went all the way to America after 8 years of marriage without no child and all efforts failed in Nigeria. Imagine the amount of money they have wasted.

I don't blame parents that insists their son's fiancee must be pregnant before blessing the marriage.

DEMZEE:
Sex is meant to b enjoyed only in marriage for the woman .

Why only for the woman?

Are you the one to determine how women enjoy sex? Many women are not even interested in marriage and are self sufficient and don't need any man to be materially, emotionally and spiritually complete.

Polygamy is our culture, but it is outlawed in the west and yet men in the west still have plenty baby mamas whom they may never marry.

That's hypothetical and not the law. Not all married men have baby mamas. And men is polygamous marriages also gave side chicks and baby mamas.
How do you rationalise polygamy with your views on virginity, sexual fidelity and family values?

I m not using religion, but I'm using biology, science and my traditional beliefs.

How do u want to raise good children under a single parent system??
It's the worst way,especially single mothers, to raise children.

There are examples of millions and millions of good successful children raised by single mothers.

Western culture that has promoted divorce rape through ur fem centric family court laws

Western culture promoted rape? You must be smoking your bible instead of reading it. It's African culture that promotes rape. Women that are raped in Africa are often stigmatised and scared for life, while the male perpetrators are left to go scot free and sometimes celebrated. How many rapists have been convicted in Africa?

Western culture promote divorce to make the man sit up. A woman does not have to endure neglect and abuse because of some misogynistic religious doctrine. If she woman is not happy in her marriage, divorce is an option.

We Africans hate divorce and value marriage, our women and children

False. We African men want to have our cake and eat it. We want to keep our women who we met and marry as virgins at very young age at home, sealed and wrapped for our pleasure and convenience, while we go conquering other territories (bodies).

HOES AND WHORES DON'T KNOW HOW TO KEEP A GOOD HOME TALKLESS OF RAISING GOOD CHILDREN

Just more Hoephobia (fear of hoes),

Social where is all this your hoephobia rants going? You want to enact sharia like laws banning whoring or hoeing? You want to enforce the stoning to death of hoes, whores and adulteress?

What punishment do you propose for single girls who are not virgins?

DEMZEE:
Men love it if their wives love sex. Sex is only pure and undiluted in marriage anything outside that is just diminishing the woman's worth or value especially in terms of marriage.

You are persisting with your arguing senselessly again. You are the that made a blanket statement that women don't enjoy sex, I debunked it, by pointing it that they pretent because men feels women that shows they enjoy sex are seen as whores, now you are going of the tangent once again by saying women enjoy sex only inside marriage.

Nooo African societies want to raise good families by ensuring most women are virgins b4 getting married. Then u can enjoy sex with ur husband

Really? You just make up crazy assertions with so much confidence.

African societies don't promote hoes and whoredom for women. We are not like the foolish western society whom have made women and marriage worthless.

African societies that promotes polygamy and female genital mutilation is foolish?
The same western society that gave you your religion, culture, system of governance and economy is foolish? You are obviously delusional.

Hoes and whores don't raise good children and they don't keep a good home

I don't know about good homes, but hoes and whores raise good children as any Christian or pastor. Most wayward children are children of christians and pastors. You have a conditions known as whorephobia or hoephobia.

You mean to tell me that na that guy with that small body dey carry that heavy duty toolz? I for wan see the picture together. Anyway, I wish dem more pestle for their mortar.

bepositive11:
I've noticed a lot of comments talking about how men want sex in exchange for the financial favours they're giving women in the relationship. The truth is, when a man truly loves a woman, he would give without any expectations. Although he would not want to be taken advantage of, the satisfaction he gets from giving the woman things and making her happy will be more than enough.

What of where a woman truly loves a man without expectations? What can a woman give to show a man that she truly the man without expectations?

DEMZEE:
Exactly women are very calculative wen it comes to sex

That is why I doubt if women enjoy sex so much.

Men love sex and can pay anything to have it but women don't

They actually do, but it make the male folks feel uncomfortable to see women show they enjoy sex. That's why they have to pretend and deceive. 99% of women lie about their sexual exploits and experience.

Ever wonder why most African societies cut of a girls clitoris at birth? The society can't stand the thought of women enjoying sex.

AnonymousRebec:
My dear, don't let anybody pressure you into having sex. Let the people who want to stay, stay. Those that want to go should go

If she believes in no sex before marriage and her boyfriend believes opposite, why is she still in the relationship. Common sense dictates she quits the relationship and find someone with similar beliefs. It's obvious they are not spiritually compatible.

In this world there is what is called a niche. It applies to all spheres of life. If you find yourself with someone in a different niche as far as sex is concern, just quit and find someone in your own niche instead of complaining.

shadeyinka:
1. Can a man stay without sex in a relationship and wait till she is ready. (As in this case, she wants to wait till she is married)
Yes! I waited 'for two and a half years until we got married

Different strokes for different folks. There are more that 7 billion people on earth each with different personalities. That you could wait for two and a half years does not make it the standard of other men. Some can't wait for one month.

2. Why is sex so important to men in a relationship? Do they see it as reciprocating of love especially when they spend heavily on the lady?

Yes, sex is very important to men in most relationships. A sexless marriage or relationship is likely to fail.

Why should the man invest heavily financially and emotionally if he gains nothing from the relationship? What differentiates the relationship from any other relationship?

Men are created that way: sex is one of the biggest way a man uses to convince himself that he is loved just like ladies like a man to express love by verbal expressions and kind gestures. But Love isn't sex and sex isn't a proof of love.
In an unmarried relationship, on the day sex enters the relationship, the value of the lady diminishes. If she is not careful, she becomes just a mere means of sexual fulfilment for the man. In marriage, it is a bond for better for worse sex or no sex.

As I said, different strokes for different folks. I have a friend who married his wife because he slept with her the same day they met, and he always boasts of it. He is a successful lawyer today.

3. Also, most men wants a decent lady. Here is a lady who wants to keep herself for her husband but the boyfriend sees it as she manipulating him.

Same as above. You don't speak for all men.

Sex doesn't keep any relationship from breaking.

You obviously have never been to divorce court and hear the reason for filing for divorce. Most times sex plays a part.

Ladies should know that a man can have sex with someone he is not emotionally attracted/attached to. Sexual purity promotes trust in marriage.

Define sexual purity. If you are talking about body count before marriage. Then there is no scientific data to suggest that virgins have more successful marriages than their non virgin counterparts.

Any man who threatens to live a relationship because of sex does not love you one bit. The fact that you give in doesnt prevent him from leaving whenever he has had his fill

True. Also the fact that you don't give in also does not guarantee he marries you or that if he marries you the marriage will be a successful one. It would even be a travesty if he marries you because of his desire to break your virginity.

merits:
It's possible to do so, because I took the risk from my house wife,I sponsored her for school and waited for seven years before sex.it is not easy sha, but if the guy truly love her he would stay no matter what.tell her never to compromise her virginity for gifts from someone.it as a reward if she can let her husband be the lucky guy.i am living witness InshaAllah.

Odikwa risky. You took a huge risk, bigger than betting 10,000 odds on Bet9ja. Luckily you won the wager. I have heard of many people that committed or contemplated suicide after they lost out, and the girl brought up silly excuses like "my pastor said you are not my husband".

Dapcity007:
You don't want us to pursue legal action against your alleged fraudulent actions

That's Treason

After losing over 50 legal action up to the Supreme Court? Which legal action again do you want to pursue after the Supreme Court? The only 2 options left is either war or secession for Republicans to grab power in the next 4 years.

The Congress can no longer give you guys power.
Election has been had, the results had been certified, the courts has affirmed the results of the elections. Which other option are you going for? are you guys ready for war or start the secession process?

DEMZEE:
Next time democrats won't cheat during elections

I can remember wen Trump entered 2016, they (mainstream media, democrats) didn't give him breathing space

The nigga is just giving them their own pound of flesh nah and it's fun to watch

America division is the best thing Trump ever did.

If Biden enters, omo republican dominated states no go even listen to him at all, trust Texas hmm does ones madt gan

Republicans are sore losers, they threaten secession every time they lose the presidential elections.

If republican dominated states no go even listen to Biden when he becomes President, you think Democratic states would listen to any other republican that wins the elections in the future?

At the end, the US might need to be split into two - Republican and Democratic States of America and the United should be removed.

demmymoney:
So ur wife was a dummy wen u were having sex ni?

I don't get

Abortion for any reason watsover except for cases of rape, incest and pregnancy leading to death of the woman is plain murder simple!!!!

Debating with you is like arguing with an autistic child. You jump from one irrelevant and unrelated topic to another, having zero relevance with the last subject you talked about.

demmymoney:
Why is pregnancy a burden or a pain to the woman in the first place

You will learn when you actually get married. From the very first week after conception it can be a huge burden, except for a lucky few. The nausea, the vomiting, the hormonal changes, the weird cravings, etc. It's not easy for her to suffer these alone.
Then the birth itself, the pain. That's the most painful experience a person might ever experience.

I have 3 children and even though I am not the one that suffered the pregnancy and the child birth, I still felt the trauma. I have warned my wife, that I never want to pass through it again.

As a digression, her own senior brother almost divorced his own wife because she got pregnant a 3rd time when they agreed to only have 2 children before they got married. They had 2 boys and his wife desperately wanted a girl, so she stopped taking contraceptives behind his back. When she announced that she was pregnant, my in law got so annoyed that he asked for a divorce. It took the intervention of both families before he took her back and accepted the child. Luckily it came out a girl. This is a very wealthy senior military officer.

As I am always emphasising, it's morally wrong to try to impose your belief system on others. Everybody views the world differently.

Dapcity007:
Evening

My concern because its my sperm, my DNA

Me and the lady had mutual sex

I want my baby

I'm a responsible man

I want to father my seed

It's nice that you want your baby. But then what of the woman? What does she gain for the pains of pregnancy and the birth of the baby you want (which might scar her for life and even cause her her life)?

AmazonTopaz:
Issue for you the question is are you a woman?

So why should it concern you?
It is the woman's choice to make and I believe people should gain access to contraceptives and other forms of birth control,practice safe sex and get educated on sex all these reduce the rate of abortions or unwanted pregnancies.Abortion even occurs naturally.

Imagine him belching "Anything after 8-10 weeks is an issue for me". You go think say na him want carry the belle.

Dapcity007:
Both parties fucking irresponsibly and creating a foetus will b dealth with by the law

If I'm elected to a political position

I've got news for you, abortion is already illegal in Nigeria and is punishable by jail term. But then... how will such a law be practicalised? Will the government post policemen to a hospitals, clinics, nursing home, traditional healing house to gather evidence on those commiting abortion?

Who will report the abortion cases? The woman who wants to abort, the doctor and nurses performing the abortion or the man who got the girl pregnant but doesn't want any thing to do with the pregnancy?

With millions of abortions being performed in Nigeria yearly, how many had actually been caught and prosecuted?

Whether legal or legal women that wants to abort will abort. Making it illegal only makes it unsafe and expensive.

Timiofak:
Lol my point exactly

Making it illegal doesn't stop the unsafe abortions.

Can never

Abortion had been illegal for centuries in most societies. Did that stop women from carrying out abortions most time at the risk of their lives.

budaatum:
456,000 illegal abortions! They really care for the law!

www.nairaland.com/attachments/12823742_20201211172625293_jpeg_jpegd5b93a934018517270148dd70d7b0d9b

Not 456,000 illegal abortion, 456,000 unsafe abortions. The number of actual abortions both (legal and illegal) will run into a few millions.

demmymoney:
Noooo Nigerian women are so stupid that they don't know anything about their laws mtscheww ode oshi

Nigeria doesn't allow for irresponsible abortions

And Nigerian men are so wise as they know all about laws in general and abortion laws specifically.

Dapcity007:
Leftist think we are dumb

Abortion will never b seen as a health right by Me

You can't moralize abortion for me

I won't tolerate irresponsibility from the perpetrators of unsafe sex

If I had my way

They will face the full wrath of law !!!!

Define unsafe sex. Are Anal, Mouth Action, head, màstùrbation, threesomes, etc your definition of unsafe sex?

Dapcity007:
OK
It's their choice their responsibility

Praise the Lord, you are finally getting it. Let everyone take responsibility for the consequences of their actions.

I'm not paying for their decisions with my money, it's their problem

I totally agree with you on this one. Why should I pay for the treatment of alcoholics, drug abusers, smokers, etc., when I am not responsible for their decisions?

Dapcity007:
Members of my party against premarital sex its their right

Members of your party!! Over 99.5% of the world's population are not members of your party.

Personally I advocate for meaningful sex

Keyword - personally.

If you can't practise safe sex

You don't have rights to tell me how I choose to practice my sex.

Abortion is never an option only rape makes it a reproductive justice rights and woman's choice

It's never an option for you. It's an option for women becomes pregnant but definitely don't want to have a baby.
Stop arrogantly trying to determine the reproductive rights of women, it makes you no different from a jihadist.

demmymoney:
Harris that use dogs to masturbate nko for most of her youthful years and she was a slut and a golddigger who bleeped her way to power nko

Nobody get clean past nahh

Don't politicize hypocrisy or past deeds

I rather support Alpha male Trump than simp sleepy Joe Biden

If Joe enters am very sure he won't even finish his first term, that bitch Harris Will have him killed

Social much hatred for persons you never met or would ever meet. Take it easy hatred is a destructive emotion that poisons the soul. Even the God the Christians purport to worship preaches love. Where these new age Christians get their doctrine of hate, I don't know. Most likely it's their new master Donald Trump.

Dapcity007:
Attacking my character will not strengthen your arguement

Ad hominem will not help you

You keep yapping about Ad hominem when you keep making very stupid posts like "Death occurs as a result of complications due to the covid 19 not the virus itself".

Have you ever heard seen a medical report which states that car accident or HIV is the cause of death itself?

OK, don't wear a mask, social distance or take the vaccine, as the virus itself is not the one that kills you.

basilico:
I hope this sinks in.The left has been on a crusade to normalize immorality.
How many genders exist for a start?
My answer : 2

Science does not support your belief of genders being binary or black and white.
There is a condition called Klinefelter syndrome, whereby a female (XX) has an extra Y chromosome resulting in a person with a XXY chromosome.
Google it to educate yourself.

basilico:
Which is more likely during coetus? To get pregnant or not.

As long as you engage in coitus, there is a possibility of pregnancy, whether you use contraceptive or not. The probability is much higher without any contraceptive.

Why can't the man wait for a few days Or why can't the woman refuse??

At least you are apportioning some responsibly to the man. So ask men why can't they wait a few days Or even a few years until they are ready to get married?

Women often refuse, but then the make specie can be very cunning, persuasive and sometimes threatening when they want coitus.

Secondly, men use the fact that women has a relatively short shelf life in terms of reproduction and attractiveness. So they master the use of carrot and stick for women to open their legs.

Thirdly, women are most vulnerable when their hormones are acting up - usually during the age of 15 - 20. During this time ladies are prone to make irrational and stupid decisions. I always tell my friends and wife to be prepared to be extra vigilant during this period on my daughter and female children to avoid complications.

Abortion is not a human right.Neither is it birth control.

If abortion and birth control is not a right of women, then what is? What rights do you ascribe to women?

Dapcity007:
So women are always right and have no sense of responsibility

Why are you so obsessed with women responsibility, why is it that you never talk about men's responsibility. Are you saying that men have no responsibility whatsoever in the pregnancy, birthing, caring and raising for a child?

Dapcity007:
Female privilege is prominent in the family courts bias in western society

All the solution still boil down to the woman's choice whether rational or irrational

Men can't and won't pay for the responsibility of a woman who was told to abort and chose not to , but are forced by biased laws to bear such burden

That's obtains only in the West, where men are forced to take some responsibly for their irresponsible behaviour. In these societies, especially the US, the laws governing the right of women to their bodies is still controversial and emotive. The laws tries to protect women from men's irresponsibility especially within the confines of strict reproductive rights.

Here in Nigeria the reverse is the case. Our laws and traditions are very Sexist. They only favour the male given women very little rights over reproductive or other rights, but at the same time puts the blame and responsibilities on women for getting pregnant, not taking into consideration that women cannot impregnate themselves.

Go to Niger Delta, you will see men only acting as sperm donors, impregnating and even marrying women up and down without the responsibility of caring and raising the children they help conceive. Most of the responsibilities are left to women who toil day and night to feed and raise the children.

Dapcity007:
Explain these dilemma

If solved will make abortion universally considered

A man wants to make a woman abort she refuses him his DNA rights

It's her rights to keep the baby, after all half the DNA is hers. She accepts the has the wherewithal to birth, care and raise the baby. So many such examples abound in our society, where the man rejects the pregnancy and the woman takes on the sole responsibility to birth and raise the baby.
Most times the useless xy donor comes around begging after the woman has successfully raised the child single handedly.

A man wants to keep his unborn infant the woman refuses him his DNA rights

The man should present the woman with a better offer. Either marriage, money or some other incentives. Once again, it's her body.
If he decides to marry her, good. They will be both be responsible for caring and raising the baby. But if he just wants surrogacy, then he must pay to convince the woman not to abort.

Until these female privilege and sexism is solved

What female privilege are you talking about? Women had practically had to fight for all the rights they enjoy today. They had to fight for rights to vote, rights to climb the pupit, rights to marry whom the choose, rights to inherit their husband's and father's property, etc. Now they are fighting for rights over their bodies.

sanpipita:
I will say this again, abortion doesn't only happen when pregnancy is unwanted, anyone arguing abortion basing off unwanted pregnancy or morality is an ignorant idiot, guess to these people kids who die in womb were aborted too

Don't mind the moral cape crusaders of the universe. They fail to acknowledge that between 10 to 20% of all pregnacies abort naturally.

Dapcity007:
Now u are unapologetically against responsibility

I am unapologetically against asking only women to be responsible. If men are expected to be responsible and punished for acts of being irresponsible, then I will support ban on abortion (excluding rape and incest).

If the man is forced to take and care for the baby once it is born since he refused to marry her and allow her to get on with her life and career without being encumbered by a baby she doesn't want. Then I will support ban on abortion.