₦airaland Forum

Dr young: ^^ CNA and LPN are the taxi drivers in nursing. Do your research on the burgatti, lamborghini et al drivers. I think they got the swagger. My 2 cents.

But the, divorces, breakups and marital woes are not happening much for the high income nurses (BSNs and Masters Degree holders) and medical practitioners but mostly for the LPNs, and small people like me. What are we doing wrong then? That's my question. Swagger or not there's no happy divorced woman with kids..please let's not pretend. Why are nurses in Nigeria not divorcing then? They are married to the same insecured, chavanistic Nigerian males.

Callotti: Because WE ARE EXPENSIVE HOES that make more money AND CAN DELIVER IN CASH AND IN KIND, beautifully CONFIDENT, in demamd by MANY OF THE OPPOSITE SE-X, command respect from the community and are waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too intelligent for MOST Nigerian 'country-niggazzz'!
Instead of 'em broke azzes to keep up with our paces, they be trying to pull us daaaaaan!
But H-Amerikah na woman KAUNTRI. . .say who die?
Na im go quench fOrst!
Jigabooz. . . try ya luck!

The only well adjusted Nigerian Men who have the GUSTO to deal with highly beautiful and assertive NURSES are MALE NURSES THEMSELVES who have come to understand what the 'shakara' is all about.

Simply put. . . WE ROCK. . .[size=20pt]because our 'swagger' dey 'dagger' PEEPS![/size]

Sister you sound like our nurses got it all in cash and all that (swagger). However reports show that nurses (CNA/ LPNs) are only in the low - median salary ($30k - $65 a yr, same as Taxi drivers and armed security guards) in the USA according to tax information. There are several Nigerians in USA making six figures especially those in IT (average $90k a yr) and financial industries (about $110k a yr) but not having same issues. My friends at UN, IMF/World Bank make almost $120k a year and work only 8hours a day.....

I just read a disturbing thread on Nairaland (https://www.nairaland.com/160981/nigerian-nurses-beware) of unprecedented woes befalling marriages involving Nigerian nurses in USA, including divorces, legal separations, relationship dramas, and outright murder by their spouses. I searched further on Google and found even scarier stories, one citing almost a 50% divorce rate among Nigerian nurses in USA especially Licensed Practical nurses (LPNs) compared to Nigerian women in other professions. What could be the reason for this? Is it the stress of the job, upbringing back home or influence by peers?

Since I mentioned my intention to switch to nursing profession in order to get a more stable job in USA, my fiancé have developed a cold feet on moving forward while he is working through friends to talk me out of it. Any advice on how one can be a successful nurse in USA and still avoid these marital pitfalls?

Surrogate parenthood has both legal and biological ends.

1). Like adoption, no couple goes into it without legal agreements before lawyers and the papers filed in court registry by ur lawyer. Once you sign that right over, if you like u can cry your eyes out and bring thrice the amount in future the baby can never bear ur name or be turned over to u. Countries (including Nigeria) are governed by laws not emotions. That takes care of that end.

2). According to biology a baby through sucking does initiate hormonal effects that produce breastmilk in any matured woman. Many adoptive parents breast-feed their adopted babies. therefore, a surrogate mother doesn't have to breast-feed.

3). I understand the point you make about emotional scare. You are absolutley correct. That's an issue to watch. But that's the same emtional scare many women who had abortions go through later in future. They just have to deal with it through counselling. it's even better to know that ur baby is alive with a happy family that can give her the best education and love and visiting her than having the guilt that u killed her and gave her no chance to live.

4).In this case the woman in question doesn't have to ability to conceive or carry pregnancy bc of earlier illness that affected her womb.


I think we should use this medium to educate and enlighten people about various legitimate options they have if they are childless, the pros and cons of each. I have learned a lot already. Honestly using 'miracle baby centers' that patronize 'baby factories' is horrible and a sin. These are stolen babies pleeeeeaaaassse! big-time A pastor from Kenya and his wife are sitting in Jail in UK because of that.

I appoligize if I offended anyone pls. Sometime I wonder why we Nigerians labour and go to the university to get masters degrees and PhDs in sciences, we fly in planes, watch TVs, and use cellphones only made possible by complex Science and technologies. We believe in the early detection and cure for cancer, etc We don't argue with that because they make us comfortable. All that I mentioned above have one adverse effect either on the body or enviroments (plane, cell phones, TV all emit tiny levels of radiations) but we still use them anyway. Yet same science gave us surrogacy, IVF, fertility treatments then we suddenly remember religion, morals, emotions, and attachments.

Update on the issue: I spoke to her yesterday but she said another lady from cross rivers has accepted to help the family for a fee. However the lady chose to remain anonymous throughout the pregnancy and birth providing she will be allowed occasional visitations with the baby in future. Though the couple would have prefered someone with a known character and natural ties to their family however they remain grateful.

I want to add that a mother is someone who gave birth to a child, a father is someone wo contributed the fluid. However a mom and dad are the ones who gave the baby life, future, and hope. They are usualy the ones a baby developes bond with. U don't exist in the life of Children if you are not there. (Pure psychology).

greatgod2012: heeeee, madam CC, u just hit d nail on d head.....Gbam!
Opolo yin o ni daru......amin.
Some pple just take decision without thinking about it properly.
Sometimes ago, i was still in school then, my sister confided in me that she wanted to do this type of thing for her friend, since she had stopped childbearing, i shouted on her and educated her as much as i could, of d dangers and impossibilities there, when i noticed she just kept to herself concerning d matter, i reported her to our mum, who rejected vehemently. Thank God she didnt do it, if not, only God knows what would have become of their friendship now. Anyway, u've spoken well and i pray the sister wise up. Thank you ma.
Btw, how was your xmas and family?
Happy new year in advance!

Ok ma. Nice to get another perpective. I guess It's more about culture because young women do this all the time in USA, India and elsewhere. It's just our culture that an out-of-wedluck pregnant girl is 'bad market' for her family. But hei a woman is not a comodity. Here in Nigeria innocent pregnant teens are labelled wayward, irresponsible, etc thrown out of the house by parents while the man celebrates his manhood. In USA the girl is taken good care of. Govt forces the man to pay her child support until the baby turns 18(A practical belief in the sacntity of life, not just preaching it).

The alternative in this case for a desperate childless woman is to patronize baby miracle centres. We wonder why babies are being stolen from chuches and maternities. My Pastor once said "Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand". Nigerians, let's have practical solutions to real issues.

Ma, I love your eye-opening perpective though. God Bless you.

I disclosed also that the lady accpeted the offer ( but she doesn't want to tear her family apart). The overbearing influence here is the pastor. I haven't seen any future effects. Many young ladies in Nigeria have had multiple abortions yet preach morals bc nobody saw them.

I get frustrated each time religious leaders (pastors and imams) in Nigeria frustrate real acts of love and compassion beyond the bla-bla-bla they vent on TV and radio waives to make money. Maybe because I grew up abroad, where one becomes an adult taking his/her decisons after 18. Why are Nigerian pastors always in everybody's business? If this girl was giving her kidney to a dying patient, shouldn't we aplaud her?

There are many reasons why a couple may not have children. While some cases are solvable if they seek the help of advanced medicine through fertility treatments others may not be solved. Many young women in other countries willingly offer their help to childless couple either by donating healthy eggs or by conceiving and carrying a pregnancy for them. Some do it as a token of love, while others do it for financial compensations. Recently, a childless woman who have been married for 11 years without a child approached my friend's 26yr old younger sister to be a surrogate mother for her baby. The process will involve using her husband's sperm to get the lady pregnant. In return they will fly the young lady to USA to have the baby (but only after she takes in in Nigeria and the baby close to delivery). In addition, they will give her N1m cash gift.

The young lady accepted the offer but turned down the cash gift. She wants to do it on a humanitarian note, as a Christian. However, her church pastor and elder brother has strongly stood against this based on their religious/ moral inclinations rather advising the childless woman to go to prayer house to solve her problem. This is becoming an unnecessary drama. The childless woman is devastated! I do not subscribe to the practices of some prayer house and miracle baby center since previous scandals had linked them with stolen babies. The young lady came to me for advice.

Will you either support or encourage your sister to be a surrogate mother to a childless couple, helping them carry a pregnancy for 9 months and breast-feeding the baby before handing him/she over to the couple? Please this is a serious matter and I will appreciate very candid advice.