₦airaland Forum

Unseen:
If your mum won't stay with you, then nobody will.
If your wife does not want her own mother to stay with her, she will rather not choose at all than choose your mother.

The option should never be between your mom and hers ...
The option should be either your mom or nobody

LEARN!!!

nope, if I must choose. I will choose my mother inlaw.

There's nothing to learn, you can't build a home with this mentality. Better stay single

Unseen:
In every man's house, the only person that's not his blood is the wife....

In every married woman's house, the only person that's not her blood is the husband.

No woman will choose your mother over her mother.... LEARN!!!

you are not getting it, because my mom will not stay with me does not mean I am placing her mom over mine. I am placing the stability of my home over both moms.
As a man, you want to build a family and a stable home and you need leave emotions to do that.

To build a stable home, you will have a lot of challenges having your mom and your wife live together than your wife and her mom. It's all about you and your home now, some moms can legit unintentionally scatter your home

Bahamas95:
NONE!



I don't joke with my privacy.

some people are like that. Me I don't really mind Sha.

I saw a thread Today a guy who got uncomfortable with his mother inlaw having to come to his house too frequently.

So it crossed my mind, while some People really cherish their privacy, I as a person will not mind to have my mother inlaw come stay with me as it has its own advantages (I am not saying there are no disadvantages).

So the question is, your mom or your mother inlaw, who will you prefer to come stay with your family if one of them has to live in your house a as a man?

For me, I will prefer my mother inlaw for many reasons. It's not like my mom is a bad person, she's a very good woman but I will not have her come stay in my house because women like to compete with themselves irrespective of age differences. No matter how nice your mom and wife will be, they will have differences at some point that can lead to altercation. It's impossible to keep two women with different backgrounds under the same roof without some sort of issues.
As a man, it's your responsibility to manage them with wisdom.

1.You are more likely to observe more altercations between your mom and your wife than between your wife and her mom.

2. Altercations between your mom and your wife is more difficult to manage than when it's between your wife and her mom. You cannot obviously take sides when this issue is between your mom and your wife because women are more emotional hence less logical than men, they will allow emotions ruin everything if you take sides.
You can easily caution both parties freely if the issue is between your wife and her mom without anyone of them feeling that you are taking undue sides.


So for me, I will rather avoid too much wahala and have my mother inlaw stay. So how about you?

JustPowerApps:
You truly said that? Omo, that's nonsense, the fact that you are regarding an elder doesn't ring a bell to you, it is even your wife's mom. You deserve to be lashed with koboko in accordance with saria.

I swear, this boy stupid Gan ni.

tonididdy:
This is the problem with some of U Nairalandrs … you argue like you’re the only one who got brains.

🤬

sorry, but Gaboon vipers dont eat large preys.

I can understand if you say it's a python

MrBrownJay1:
FAILED ISSUE #1 you think this has anything to do with control, while it aint



FAILED ISSUE #2...why dont you answer the question... instead of bringing childish issues to this discussion. the kid is the person who want to dictate what their spouse should do all day while you are at work.... the kid is the insecure person who is so scared that MIL comes and goes to market with his wife everyday. i guess he'd rather she watches telemundo all day long by herself abi?!

no carry this kind of your argumentative attitude enter marriage Sha. Ire ooo

MrBrownJay1:
a husband need to explain this issue to his wife BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY she needs to understand it. there is absolutely nothing wrong with a parent living close by to come over and spend day with daughter rather than having be home alone all day long, NADA!!!!

there's nothing wrong if she doesn't do it everyday or every other day.
Like I said, for me, it may not be an issue as long as the mother inlaw is not trying to dominate me in my house by changing some of my policies. That's the boundary for me.
If it's about just coming everyday and gisting with your daughter and helping her do chores, I don't mind. But some people need more space, it's why mother inlaws also need to give their married children space.

pls how can such discussion take place? what kind of yeye husband would tell his wife to stay home by herself all day long and not have the company of her mother, simply because husband doesnt want it? is husband not at work everyday? should wifey be alone because of some yeye state of mind of the husband? what so wrong if mother keeps daughter company during the day and they go to market together etc? i dont get it.

you don't seem to be matured enough yourself to be in a marriage.
In a marriage, you got to discuss everything and reach understanding. The wisest People in marriage know how to deliver discussions, they rethink it carefully before saying it.
You seem to be so fixated in your own ideology and it will affect you if you take it to your marriage. Marriage is about live and let's live, even if sometimes it doesn't Favour you.

Your husband has a right to contain the way your mother visits if she visits too frequently. It all depends on the way the husbands delivers it.

Marriage is not for kids and overly reactive babies.

ledaman:
You messed up big time, you made mentioned that @ times, they do the house chores together. There are things done with later regrets. Imagine if your spouse should asked your dad or mum to stop coming to your house, how would you feel?
You just concentrated on the Negative aspect without watching the positive aspect.
You better go alone and apologize to her.

I can't even talk to my wife younger brother in that manner. Not to talk of my mother in law.
This boy dey craze

Runnerzz:
U did very well

are you being sarcastic? 😂

Godwin4444:
check his previous posts n u will know he’s one of those small boys wit useless fantasies

He will learn d hardway

seriously hard way. There's never going to be any amount of apology that is going to totally amend this.
E go still remain somehow for the mama mind until she dies, it's a permanent damage

MrBrownJay1:
at last someone making some sense in this discussion!!!!
as a parent, if my daughter has no problem with mama coming over and/or spending all day with her mother to go to market, then mama will come over as much as she desire (and if i am jobless then i will come over too)...now if husband has a problem with parents visiting, he will tell his wife and SHE will tell us to back off (which any sane parents would certainly do while checking them from afar). a husband coming to tell me to back off while my daughter is cool with me coming over, is a RED FLAG right there.

nope, it's not about your daughter. It's about both of them.
If your daughter husband is not cool with it, your daughter got to understand. No be your daughter marry him, na him marry your Daughter.

It's very okay to have the conversation with the wife and the wife needs to understand. If the wife doesn't understand then the house will be on fire. There's nothing wrong if mama comes once a month so she can give them breathing space to start a home and run it

QuantAnalyst:
Lol..I can't even talk to my wife in that manner let alone her mother.

I wouldn't mind my mother in law living with us permanently, at least, that's an extra care for my kid.

Different strokes for different folks.

I swear, I no fit talk to my wife like that. This one is not matured enough to handle a family. He's plain dumb

MrBrownJay1:
i trust him to be my daughter's chosen one, i wont trust him to be a good husband (SIL) until they start living together and he becomes a responsible husband. just because they got married, does NOT mean this man is a good husband, a good father or a caring man. this will have to be confirmed as they start living together. many people get married to people they never knew before. you only meet your true spouse AFTER marriage, not before. but hey, if you think that ABUSIVE HUSBAND is written on people's forehead then so many unfortunate people wouldnt have died at the hands of their abusive husband/wives. lets be real!






as i said earlier.... as much as it is a bit excessive you need to open your mind.... so mama that lives close by shouldnt come and spend the day with daughter that is home alone all day (and go to market together etc)? the same mama that will probably come and stay with you for months when you guys have your 1st children (in order to show you how to properly care for a newborn) na that mama you want to look down upon today?!

Mama should not be coming everyday. Mama should know that.
Maybe once in a while. Some People like privacy.

For me, I wouldn't have been a big deal depending on how close I am to mama, but if I don't really fancy mama. I will call my wife and make her understand why privacy is very important in a marriage. I won't even tell her in such a way that I don't want mama to be coming around.

Everything na wisdom

zakkxx:
You are supposed to talk to your wife to use sense and keep her mother away! Now you will make that old woman to cry. Go and ask her for forgiveness. Tomorrow now if your wife start given u trouble, who do u think your wife will listen to. U are a foolish man! Go and apologize with heavy gift 🎁

I swear, he lacks wisdom.
He cannot manage a home, he's obviously not man enough.

MrBrownJay1:
if i raised my child for +20yrs, fed, clothe, sheltered and educated her all this time... i think i have the right to see her even every hr if i wish to do so. if she just got married then i want to make sure that she is good in her new life. a parent visiting his child once a day is not wrong (maybe just a bit excessive), and unless the visit would hinder their r/ship, i dont see anything wrong here....thus the above question.

you are spewing trash.

You cannot badge into your daughter's home whenever you like.

MrBrownJay1:
the above is irrelevant....as a parent, you wll let go when you know/feel/believe your child is in good hands... until then, you will often check up on them. its completely natural, whether that child or their partneir agrees with it or not. thats what parents are meant to do.

nope, as a parent, you need to be sure that your daughter is in good hands before you give her out for marriage . After wedding, let her be

MrBrownJay1:
so you believe it is wrong for a parent to not trust you and check up on their daughters? there is no such thing as "intrusion of your privacy".... just because you marry someone, doesnt mean you got the right to stop parents from checking on their children.

what have you got to hide? why are you so afraid of parents coming to check up on their daughters? what so wrong in the act? what privacy are you even talking about? if these parents trusted you as a man and/or the wellbeing of their daughter, probably they wouldnt check on their daughter so often.

he has a right to his privacy, however he went about it wrongly.

He should have just have that conversation with her daughter without the woman knowing anything about it. Wisdom, he lacks wisdom.
He has started a very big heat that will never quench

thesilentman:
Because we live in proximity-same town, she wouldn't quit checking up on her daughter virtually every day or at least every other day.

I felt a deep intrusion on my privacy so yesterday I summoned the gut and asked her if she didn't have a house. Before she could reply, I told her, 'learn to stay where you belong! I did not marry daughter and mother!`
She has since disappeared into thin air.

This evening am thinking whether i bleeped up or not.

you didn't have to say it that way.

You could have just spoken to your wife respectfully about it. You don't have to disrespect her that way, she could be bored and needed her daughters company.
Although I get your point but you did it wrongly. You disrespected her

tonididdy:
It was an almost 1yr old dog ( a cane curso)
My dog was very ill that period, this exact snake crawled into the compound or maybe through the fence and had a face off with my dog.

It barked and fought the hardest it could, it was its bark that attracted occupants of the house.

Lo and behold this beautiful patterned snake was there battling with my dear Bruno (RiP).
It was killed that night, my dog died like a week later.

( I’m certain it sensed the dogs weakness, it has a huge head and I bet it’s jaws can open as wide as a mini bucket)

maybe what you saw was a python, African rock python.
Gaboon vipers are not big enough to eat a big dog.

This is a rock python below, it can eat your dog, a gaboon viper can't

tonididdy:
I beg to differ

Well, maybe a small dog or puppy

tonididdy:
Haaa….this exact breed almost ate my dog one night.

I don't think a gaboon viper can eat a dog.

davidtemi:
Is there a snake dat is not venomous??

yes, more than half of the snake species either don't have venom or don't have enough venom to harm a human.

Axis313:
Puff adder.Yorubas called it Paramole because it has earth color,so it is hard to detect it until you step on it.
Op,you are asking if puff adder is venomous?It is one of the most venomous snakes in the world and it is the most temperamental amongst them.

puff Adder is not found in Yoruba land, it's a gaboon viper that is found in Southern Nigeria. Puff adder is usually found in thr north, in Savannah region.

Although both snakes are related

Jonwesley:
Even the decapitated head has enough venom to kill. Don't touch it for your life.

this is jot true. The snake venom is stored in its venom gland somewhere above its mouth and it only injects it when it wants to bite.

nepapole:
100% hharmless.... No chop am sha

you don't know what you are saying, that's either a puff adder or a gaboon viper (I will be able to differentiate them if I can see the head). Both are vipers and are very venomous with long fangs.
The bite of a gaboon viper is the most painful bite of any snake.