₦airaland Forum

Odafe360:
Hmmmm, I really appreciate your advise brother..... One thing that is really keeping me down right now is what will people say especially my neighbours. How do you think i should handle this? Cause I'm feeling ashame of facing my neighbours.

It depends on your relationship with your neighbours, Just tell them she has found a new job or business somewhere and needed to stay Nearby. If you are not the owner of the house, you can move to another location and start afresh. In whatever decision finally made, don't take that woman back into your life.

Odafe360:
do you know that just like that she told me that if i think she would come back when she gets broke or can't cater for the kids then I'm deceiving myself because God will never allow that... I then told her that it's your imagination, i'll never pray for that to happen to you. The painful thing is that i can't even tell my siblings about it because they didn't support my marriage to her and because of that we stopped taking with my biological siblings since i got married.

At the junction, a smart man should have known from that statement that she has gotten a better man who is financing her life.

Don't die before your time, God actually loves you, reason she move on by herself.

Odafe360:
I've been married for 7 years and blessed with 3kids... Sometimes ago my wife confessed to me about the paternity of my first son that he is not my son, when she got pregnant while we were dating, she told the real Dad but he denied being responsible and she had no option than to pin it on me. I became shattered and down, infact my world nearly came to an end, i sent my wife out of the house but after about a month, i forgave her and took them back with the kids, infact I still love all my kids equally without remembering the paternity of my first child. We had a little issue some weeks ago and she threatened to leave the marriage by the end of the year, then i told her if she really wants to leave, she mustn't wait for the year to end..... Then two weeks ago she started packing her things gradually to her parents house (her father is late). She finally left yesterday and we even had sex a day before she left. The funny things is that she has packed every of her belongings, leaving nothing at all.

Since she started packing her things back to her mum's place none of her siblings or her mum has called me or come to find out what the problem is, anytime we have issues and she goes back to her mum's place, nobody from her family will come to enquire what happened, i'll still be the one to go and pick them back home and apologize to the mum whether i'm at fault or not, i think that is what made them to view me as a fool, even when i discovered the paternity of the my first son, her mother never came to my place nor called, i was still the one who went to see her mum and we spoke then brought back my wife and kids home.

I work so hard to take care of her and my kids, i always make sure they lack nothing. People envy them because i invest so much on my kids...

Please guys, what do you think i should do? Should i just move on and forget about her because honestly this time around nothing would take me to their house. She called me yesterday that they've reached and i said okay, then she called me this morning that the children are asking when I'm coming to see them?

You have only one problem " Lack of self worth" as a result of extremely low self esteem.

All that is happening to you is very strange to me, the fact that non of her family members ever called whenever she left your house says alot about the way they see you.

Stop talking to that woman and completely cut her off from your life. You can be sending her certain amount to take care of your children every month. Pay their school fees directly to the school and visit them there whenever you want to see them.

I will also advise you to stay away from relationship and marriage for now until you become a man or build your self esteem.

Only God can save a man in Nigeria, especially If you are the type that give to people during Christmas. If you can avoid some people, what about your parents side and inlaws.

Abi make person just switched off the phone

Dreamhans1:
What if I'm extremely extremely good in what I do for the organisation and beyond, and I'm very effective and efficient.
But I won't come to work on weekends because it's not in my job description, even if you request we come or stay beyond work hours if it won't reflect in my pay
Or or I won't kowtow to you.
Would you approve such person for promotion or retainment or you will just go with an asslicker

Being good at what you do is great but dedication at work place matters alot to Nigerian employers. While I will condemn any employer who ask you to come on weekends or spend extra hours withiout overtime payment, it is important to note that if once in awhile your job requires you to work on weekend or stay extra hours, you can just do that to get what you want, especially where such attribute is often taking as a stepping stone for promotion.

Once you reach the pinnacle of your career, no employer will treat you that way. Infact, they will be the ones begging you to accept your own term. You can't just get to that point withiout alot of sacrifices that will looks like exploitation. Those you called asslickers understand this concept, they knew you have to sacrifice alot to get to the top of their career( especially if you are a man).

frazee:
Hmmmm.... since I moved to ibadan I knew that eye service was real.. lost a job because I was trying to be real and professional... but thew security man wanted managerial position lolzzz and he was doing and saying unreal things to the owner... the owner got carried away by the plenty talk and over doings gate man was doing.. maybe they are of same tribe n that made it easy for them... I quietly walked away because the next move if I put up a fight is for him to go fetish.... Well baba is still a security and I moved unto better things...

I can relate to what you wrote up there, the fault was entirely yours and not anyone else.

Some of you that claim to be real or professional in work places lacks manners and interpersonal relationships. While you try to be real/professional, you have to take your colleagues along and be lenient where necessary. If you notice someone want your position by being too nice to the Director, all you need to do is to be nice to the same director too and carry out your duties diligently.

But because of your absorbed mentality of "they are from the same tribe" you keep finding a fault in everything they do.

Truvelisback:
This has nothing to do with any tribe. Most employers are easily carried away with these guys. Only very few employers are smart and sensitive.

Sometime, appearance shows the manners, nobody see your heart, they only judge you by what you do in their present.

As an employer, you don't expect me to ignore someone who do well in my present and promote you that don't but do so behind my back. How do you want me to know? You just have to be good in both my present and my absent.

Frigga13:
This one is propagating a dead propaganda tax bill has been withdrawn and suspended ..

.. till Arewa decide

All this Yoruba media noise is dead already

Make them pass am naa..

No be Cho Cho cho

Have you once sat down and analyse the bill to see how progressive it could be for Nigeria in future?

It is a dangerous ball game by the North to stop the bill, if they succeeded in doing so, state machineries/governors from the South will bring up the same issues and eventually win at Supreme Court. And if care is not taking, it could lead to division of country into regions.

This is 2024 and 21st century for that matter, the reason Nigeria Is still remain one is because of elites and politicians who are still enormously benefiting from the unworkable system. Nigeria may definitely break up if some key leaders or players from a particular section wanted out.

And you think Biafra wouldn't have been achieved if the like of Obi, Kalu, Rochas, pat Utomi, all governors, traditional leaders, traders organisation's, All Religions leaders and diaspora born Igbos endorse it?

Tinubu is not a push over leader, he will revenge MKO abiola death and break down Northern dominations of Nigerian politics. Infact, he has only one agenda, which is to return the country back to regionalism.

EDOSBROWN:
When will Nigeria be like this

Nothing special about the place, there are more places in Nigeria better than this.

Macphenson:
One of the most controversial issues in this Tax Reform Bill is that 60% of VAT to be shared by states will be given to the state it was collected from, It seems by this it will only favour mostly Lagos and Rivers State to the detriment of the Northern states who are collecting more VAT based on population.

Here is my concern, Lagos state was deliberately made the commercial headquaters of the Nation to the detriment of other states the more reason it collects more taxes.

Practically, All the cars entering the country pays their tax to only Lagos state. Even the cars to be used in Rivers, Akwa Ibom, Bayelsa, Delta and Cross River states. Now this is not fair to these states as they have their own seaports but cars are not entering them, the taxes they are supposed to get as a state goes to Lagos state.

Also, Telecom companies pay their VAT in Lagos because their headquaters are located in Lagos, If this new bill is passed, that is no longer fair to all other states where the Telcom companies operate. Telcom companies should now start paying VAT to each state they operate as you can no longer rob Peter to pay Paul.

Oil companies have their headquaters located in Lagos while they operate in different states especially in the Niger Delta. This will no longer be fair if the bill is passed becaused those states where the oil companies operate will start demanding that the oil companies pay thier VAT in those states they operate.

The truth is this bill if passed, is seriously going to open litany of issues which I dont think at the moment the bill captured or resolved it.

Another worrisome dimension, this may prompt the oil producing states to start demanding for 60% of the oil revenues from their respective states, once this happens, chaos will reign supreme in the country.

That is not an excuse, infact i see this as layman thinking.

Let every state focus on where they have competitive advantage.

Mariangeles:
Rabbits should never be eaten.
It should be a crime to kill and eat such cute angelic creature.

I mean, how does one kill a rabbit?

Rabbits are like other animals kill for food. There are wild Rabbits(Heirs) too, and the domesticated ones are not different. It is sweetest meat I have eaten so far.

You kill it with knife like chicken, burn the furs or remove the skin.

rapheal5:
You should also try dog meat before you conclude.

Really, I never taste dog meat before, I wish to someday.

Flangelo12:
What if I'm mixed race?

No no no,, as long as that black gen is still in you, you can't be better. You can only manage to do better if you live in a working societies of whites.

If my father and great grandfather's were that smart or intelligent, I won't live to see this kind of black societies. If they were smart indeed, strangers won't impose their religions and way of life on them. If they were that smart, they won't destroyed their homes and take the fortune to another man's land.

The reality is that, African culture and tradition promote greed, egocentric and dominations, and with this innate characteristics of an average black man, there is no way he would be patriotic enough to develop his home.

For instance, will you respect your friend who sell his father house and use the money to beautify your compound? That is the extent of our stupidity.. We actually see ourselves as humans but other sees us as animals.

Zonefree:
Goat meat is the GOAT of all meats.

Taste Rabbit before you conclude.

Flangelo12:
And your father is inferior to me.

My father can only be inferior to you if you are white.

Napata77:
YOUR PROBLEM IS INFERIORITY COMPLEX.

That’s why you typed and posted this garbage.

Get rid of your complex, and you could post something productive.

Why do you care what the white man thinks about you?

Does the white man care what you think about him?

Lolz, there is nothing like inferiority complex when talking about White/Black relationship, blacks, particularly from Africa are simply inferior to the white.

If you can logically answer this simple question, then I will believe you are not inferior;

What makes you think you are not inferior?

oldguyman:
Initial gra gra, Trump should calm down as no one is buying into his bullying tactics again.

The same thing he did during face off with North Korea , and up to this moment, North Korea is still standing with robust military and economic power. If China, India and Russia decided to move away from Dollar, alot of aggrieved countries will follow suit and nothing will affect them economically.

tundegan:
Tinubu is a man with a plan. I trust he will get the job done.

It is almost 2 years now, and this man is still pledging to do what a good leader would've done withing 6 month in power. 2 years gone, no concrete plan to solve farmers- Herder crisis, no plan or specific program for agriculture or farmers. No plan to create several farm settlements across states, yet you all still believe in this pathetic government.

The earlier you all realise that these useless politicians have no plan for Nigeria, the better.

Thundafireseun:
This man is not fit to be the president of Nigeria….

Very soon he will carry Ola of Lagos bag or that small boy Peller’s bag …

Maybe it was 2face that help him carry the bags because I wonder how a suppose leader will stoop that low in the name of politics.

What if he become president and has to deal with old demons in politics, traditional institutions and ministries.

Afodot0022:
Top of the day to you all and compliment of the season.We will all witness the new year coming. pls house, I need advice and opinion especially from single fathers either divorced, widowed. I have been separated from my wife for 2 years now and my two daughters age 8 and 7yrs had been with my ex wife ever since. It has gotten to the stage that she is now using the kids to get back at me by denying me access to them and also manipulate me, the greatest mistake I made was letting her took my kids away cos at that time I was emotionally down due to what lead to us separating and couldn't make a sound judgement at the moment.

Now my decision now is that I want to take custody of my daughters, for now I have my mom with me and also myself to take care of them while they are with me, all I just need is what are the prons and cons of being a single father and taking care of your kids as the man alone. what challenging's will I face in doing this so I can prepare my mind mentally and psychologically for the challenge ahead. Though I prefer the kids being with their mom and I take responsibility but the fact that she is using them to get back at me is annoying and frustrating reason why I want to make this move now so am going to be free from her manipulation.

Pls experienced single fathers raising their kids alone, which is better, letting the kids be with her while she use them as bait to get back at me or I should take their custody and raise them myself. I want them to finish up this school term and make the move. Your input and advice will be valuable and appreciated and pls if you don't have anything valuable to say or to criticize as some does here, kindly ignore and move. Pls mod, kindly move to FP for wider view and inputs

You did not make any mistake, kids are better off staying with their mums. Just make sure they feel your present in their lives. Give them more time, they will be the ones disturbing their mum to come and see their lovely dad.

* You have no money or mean of getting an accommodation or feed yourself.

* You have no one who can accommodate or feed you at the moment.

Is that not enough to appreciate your sister for saving you of impending hunger and homelessness?

See boy, life don't work as you think, you practically have no option or decision of yours until you have resources that would made you not to depend on anyone.

Since your sister is not abusing or starving you, the best option for you is to keep reminding her of your desire to find something doing. Basically, every Nigerian big sister/brother will treat you the same because they feel you are still young at 18 to be left alone doing your things off their monitoring.

Decision is your to make, you can decide to leave her house and see what the street has to offer or be patient with her until she listen to you.

MadamVanessa:





Inasmuch as what the sister did is so so wrong, but also what the brother did is also wrong . It's okay to be all mad at your sister and threaten her for such an unethical and shameful behavior, but going as far as reporting it yourself to her husband is the greatest undoing. It's okay for others to report her ,but not a sibling or family member, except you people are enemies. Today you've reported her and you're the best, very righteous brother, but remember tomorrow the consequences may come. Same people hailing you today will used that to taunt and ridiculed you tomorrow.

I know a lot of self righteous people will attack this comment. But whether you like it or not family covers a lot . If family starts exposing each other, believe me a lot of people will not be safe including you that is going to attack this comment.

Yes, he shouldn't have directly inform her husband but should've instead disown her as sister.

Their parents too are very bad people, if they had punished and disown her when she did the first one, she might have turn a new leaf or at least do it responsibly.

I blame their parents more.

Factcheck0001:
Omo who train these people self?

U tell your papa make e keep quiet?
Like make e shut up?

Omo things dey happen ooo

Honestly, i wonder the kind of upbringing some people had to the extent of talking to their parents like that.

You can't even say this to elderly persons in your family, let alone your biological father.

Bobloco:
Curiously, those who screamed 'obey court order' in Rivers State have suddenly become silent, while encouraging Mc Oluomo to disobey and disregard a valid court order

Nigerians are all the same(hypocrites), if you could have problem with them saying Fubara should obey court order, it means you are directly or indirectly supporting his impunity too.

Zico5:
Liar. These daughters of Jezebel can lie. How is it possible for 65% of married men in Lagos to be in ur DM. Do you know how many married men are in Lagos. I'm a married man in Lagos and I have never heard about u or your existence.

She was probably saying that 65% of men in her DM are married.

Zico5:
Let him deport them all. We shall see how USA will cope without immigrants. Immigrants are the one doing odd jobs to sustain the economy and the states.

Go and write it down today, Trump second term would be contrary to the expectations of many. He won't deport anybody.

nedu666:
Stupid stats. Did statinosense visit households to conduct BP test

Don't mind them, alot of Nigerians are working around with HBP withiout even knowing.

Anyway, HBP is not a sickness but a condition that resulted from troubling state of mind or sometimes hereditary. It could vanish the way it comes if the carrier takes a necessary lifestyle change.

Electorate:
You are 33 but think like a teenager, where you not alive when Ned married Regina Daniels or you are Ignorant of the constitutional age of consent?...Oga, you are not thinking like a 33 year old abeg. Abi na school you no go abi na exposure you no get... whichever way, you fvck by even bringing this online.

Age is indeed not maturity and you are a living proof of that

I was about to say this but don't want to sounds rude to him. How can a young single man be saying 24yeqrs old woman is too young for him. Maybe he prefer above 30 years old woman with multiple body counts or single mother.

jbreezy:
So I'm currently liking this girl, and with all things being equal, I am ready to marry her. But my fear is the age difference, I will be 33 next year while she is currently 24. She likes me too, but I'm still playing safe as I am still skeptical. Should I go on or just cut off the relationship before it becomes serious.

The best woman to marry is between 18 - 26. I wonder why you have problem with 24 years old lady that some guys even consider too old for them.

Everyday247:
Civilisation and law and order.

The natural law is survival of the fittest.

Jungle law is supreme!

Humans can't live peacefully or survive withiout law and other in place. Jungle law is like state of nature, which is characterise by perpetual fear, brutally awful and short.

If law and other are working perfectly in some societies, then it should be branded as best human invention.

abiolamitodun:
Getting home from work and you meet you wife beaten to stupol by your friend.....


What will you do next?

The way Goat stand in the market dem dey take price am.

This cannot happen among the sane people. So I will pass.