₦airaland Forum

Tobennz:
Gud one ooo... Wen is d nxt update

tanx man,nah tomorrow tinz

Shollyjay90:
This is superb, Ghost reader but now a commentator.

wow,you'er welcomed bro, tear dat ghost level o!

Johnsown1:
Youngzubi nwa nnem,ndia enyegokwa gi ego gi, i just dey bro, silent mood

ok bro,owa aka gubero nu

nna silent mood nor just fit u o!

Done!, i have edit those episodes in page 6 to 8, you can kindly go back there to check it out,abeg since e be sey nah those part dey cause commotion

Asemark ( guy i don pay my dew o!) Warrifirstborn youngimporter johnswon1 ( bro longest time)

i nor dey too mention becos nairaland sabi ban me anytime i mention plenty people,one love fam!


Episode.......43




Man to man
------------------
live to cross line!
-----------------------



with accuracy international As50 sniper rifle well positioned few metres away,he shuk eye look inside the camera"correct" he yan,im carry face towel wipe the heat wey dey gather for im face like
sey nah marathon race im bin dey do,boss everi tin don set,he yan

"good,i yan then face my opponent


************



"challenge?,red shadow yan


" challenge,i yan as i send signal to my guy sey make dem show face onto sey the matter nobi one man army at all

within few seconds spata and erotic dem surface sharpaly as dem spread stand for my back,red shadow begin laff,i just bon face dey observe tins,no neckles hang for dia neck,so i begin look wia dia weak point fit be,i still dey reason tins wen sharp sword shuk head enter my belle

i carry head up look red shadow and smile,i get my own for body too,i yan with heavy punch wey send red shadow go land wia im boys stand,i drag the long sword comot for my belle then trowey am as i begin match forward nahim he send one of im men sey make im attack


they guy tear race with im head position to give me spare but i quickly dodge it as the guy fail brake go land wia my guys stand,spata nor waste time as im grab the guy head turn am 360 degree e' make sound kwa!, then he carry knife cut off im head pkata-pkata


noo!!!!,dem shout and charge towards us,like sey i bin dey sleep for wia i stand red shadow swung im sef up and land one kick wey bend my mouth go oneside,i recover sharpaly stand up and look my guys,everybody don ready for fight as red shadows face spider gang,one tin be say red shadows too get skills,dem just dey beat my guys up and down

i touch my mouth look my hand omo blood just dey drop,reason be sey metal nor fit harm us but any other tin like punch dey enter wella,red shadow begin prepare for attack,im spread two legs carry one hand go back and the other hand for front like sey im be jet li,omo i begin fin kpako sharp sharp becos if i face am with all this im moves nah hell fire straight,as i nor see any pkako around,nahim i gather moral fold my hand wella like say nah hammer

iyaaaa!!!!! i rush am with better blow hand for air waiting to land ontop im face once i reach but some tin hit me towwaa!!!,i begin wonder watin hit me for wia i lay down for ground,abi i miss road go jam wall becos one teeth dey ground already, i manage stand up nahim i sight red shadow standing for my front with im one leg raised up as im stand with one

"only one kick,one teeth don comot,i give you one more chance before i go finish you,try ya luck again,red shadow yan


"i begin look ground,as a warri brought up,peson nor fit chop yam ontop my head like this,time don reach

i close my eye tight begin pray make e work but as devil take wicked reach,my liver fail me,why e be sey nah wen i need extra ordinary strength e dey fail me

"nah ya last chance be this,i nor get time for delay,red shadow yan nahim i open eye

i look red shadow but as im take move back suprise me,nahim i look around as i sight my guys fighting ruggedly with two by two plywood"confirm"

"i send Stevo signal sey make im get ready becos if im fail,e mean sey nah death be that,red shadows go use us do pepper soup if Stevo miss or mess up the plan


after sending the signal,with vex again i rush red shadow but with my sense functioning well this time,im do forward stunt fly pass me as i won grab am,sharpaly i turn with punch nahim my hand jam with im leg wey im don release for kick,he miss balance land for ground,no time to delay as i don get small opportunity so i rush am for ground but im slide comot sharpaly,thank gawd for spata wey trow long kpako give me,confirm i yan as i dive the plank,i begin hear bottle smashing sound,my guys don frustrate nahim dem come dey use both bottle and kpako dey tear dem apart

with the kpako well positioned for my hand,the idiot begin do stunt as im fly up go stand ontop the executive bus,naso spata release one kpako wey fly from back hit am kpo!! for head,im loose balance again fall comot,i rush am begin beat nonsense comot for im body immediately he land for ground,im try jab up but i send am back with heavy blow then continue my beating till i don belle full,sharpaly before he go regain im strength i drag am up but the kind kick wey im release for my chest push me go jam for the executive bus,i use back land for the bus door,i remain dia as nah Time to do the do,with speed red shadow fly up begin spine around as im position leg to kick me,i just rest my back for the bus pretend sey i don weak finish,as im won land kick for my head i slide the bus door open nahim red shadow land inside the bus containing the money,i close the door gawm!! and lock it wella,i tear race as all my guys shuk head enter different direction begin run,red shadows gather the bus as dem begin try to open the door so that dia oga go com out,then Stevo from wia im dey fire the sniper,i turn look as the bullet take dey com with speed like flash,nah that time red shadows realise watin won happen as dem scatter but e don too late,the bullet jam the bus for wia we don fix explosive boooomm!!! every wia shake as fire scatter i dive enter bus lay down flat, even for wia i hide some red shows carry fire for body dey scream as dem run dey fin water abi some tin wey go help dem off the fire,i jab up with my dagger as i begin cut dia throat comot,jazz nor fit work for this one again,even if bullet nor gree enter dia body,fire don weak dem finish,so with better stabbing,one by one we begin send dem go hell


5mins later every wia don calm but smoke full the whole place,nah the ones wey begin run on time only fire affect but the ones wey never run go far dem body scatter every wia

as the moto don turn scrab iron we force the door open,red shadow nor dey any wia,then i look well nahim i sight only im left hand for ground,fire nor gree burn am well but e show sey im body scatter,but how com e be only one hand i see,i suppose see other body parts


onto sey big mama go need prove before she go believe sey red shadow nor dey alive again i grab the hand rap am well then jump down as we begin match go meet Stevo for wia im dey,the guy nah king

but i never too sure whether red shadow die pkata-pkata
abi im never die?

e fit be?

i nor know?

yes nah im suppose die....

nah only time go tell but for now as i take see tins even if im survive am,him life go don bend,abi im go even return stronger?,i begin reason for mind as we match dey go


to be continued..........

Asemark:
My man youngzubi, na u de rain u just 4gt abt me base on say i no de constant... Abeg mk u find somewhere chuk ni

4get ke!,bro nobi so,as u don surface i go see Wat i can do

Tessymil:
I am a woman o . But don't Com for my sobinto

like seriously?....ok ma
laff nor gree me type sef,kinda crasssyy!!

Tessymil:
Wow... I am speechless. Just started reading and it's captivating. It's just as if I should get into ya mind and get the next scenes... Good work Op. More ink to ya pen

lol,thanks man

JOGICE:
Yungzubi U've done mighty tins wit dis Story...no jokes_Ask any of ya readers dem go tell u say E dey high morale...Unto say we dey sing Praise&worship untop ya matter since aftrnun_based on who u b_bless us wit ya updates na, we wait on U! lest d suspense taketh d sleep of thy ppl away, we pray thee...

thanks my man,one love brotherly

hfinest1:
I've added this story to my personal list of the best stories I've read on nairaland... will soon release my list officially for those that wants navigation to the best of stories on nl... youngzubi keep up the great job man... we dey ya back...

BTW, this your story has inspired me to write comic book in pidgin... first of its kind... a Nigerian action or super hero comic in pidgin

bro more wisdom, am glad that i can actually get people inspired just like i was inspired by others,see if only we can continue this way believe me we youths will definitely add more positively to our country as a whole than wandering around the street with nothing tangible to offer to the masses

senrino centino ,i just dey wonder sha!

oga ontop e be like say u dey wear mask nna ibu zi nmawu? mbok!

pradoic:
guy i trow you more respect, you'er grabbing things like magnet,its in you all you need it to go deep and bring them out,thanks to honourable356 and those that actually came to your rescue,before you mess up the whole good job with certain mistakes,kudos bro!

thank you prado my man, brotherly nah you wey just dey boost my moral tey tey!

emperorblog:
youngzubi

you might love this

Three Important Social Media Writing Tips You Need to Know

http://www.emperorblog.com.ng/three-important-social-media-writing-tips-you-need-to-know/

ok,i will check it out,thanks bro!

Speakout03:
i swear i won begin clap for am,all him stunts just make me won begin clap for am(who follows me smile or laugh for this statement)


Youngzubi what about spana's red eye when his nacking, is that also one of his supernatural power, will it help him anything soon apart from nacking situations . Waiting shall

nah Tim go tell bro,lets just watch how tins go unfold,me sef nor even know watin go happen

Episode.....42



The red shadows vs spider gang
----------------------------------------

the battle ground
-------------------------





"Fear" nah one tin wey i don live to overcome,fear go only keep you for darkness,e go prevent you from taking chances,you go just dey draw lines but nor go fit cross lines,you fit live your life crossing lines or live am drawing lines, as i dey so,no time to begin draw line i go take my chances after all the secret agent get all better quality even from im dress to im skills but nah still one head we two get,so notin to fear i ready to cross line!

i carry head up look oga frank for wia im bin stand nahim i hear gun sound pkaa!!! as bullet waka pass my shoulder,sharpaly i turn in a swift motion only to sight one of oga frank men as im just dey stagger with bullet wey hit him for chest,then i look peson wey shoot,u guess wrong,nah Stevo save me from being stabbed by oga frank men wey don stand up with im last strength and was about to stab me with im knife for back but Stevo sight him and send am to hell

plenty just full my head,but ontop all nah the red agent,im nah my biggest wahala now,time to know who sabi pass,i nor fit fly for air and begin release bullet but i fit stand for ground and make tins happen


i motion my boys say make dem trow my dress,but i change mind as that one nor matter again so i just grab my neckles like chaplet,after i don wear am,i waka go meet oga frank wia im stand like weak devil


"look my eye,i never finish with you,but as tins take be now,i purse ya matter!,i go come back for revenge,shebi na man you be?,remember this,i nor go kill you" but" e get plenty way to kill a man as per sey something nahim must kill a man,i go kill you but i nor go kill you,nah proverb,go prepare i go come back face to face, till then oga frank,i yan then catch the ak47 wey sentino trow give me,i match outside as my guys follow me for back till we reach wia our moto park,everybody jump enter as we zoom off,festac straight


***********************



"hello! mama,yes i don free now,i yan enter phone



"good,now spana,see i need ya help more Dan i don ever need am before,big mama yan for phone


"mama shey na about the agent matter?,i yan



"spana that guy deadly,nor go tink sey nah police matter,you go need to put in ya best or else my family go remain ontop danger till gawd come,big mama yan



"i dey in charge notin fit happen,all i need nah ya co-operation,i yan


"you dey always get my support spana so nor just find excuse,she yan


"so how much im dey request?,i yan as i don already get my own plan


"100million U.s.a dollars,she yan


"watin??,nah aeroplane go come carry am?,i yan as i stand for my parlour dey face the big plasma tv wey hang for parlour



"imagine, the guy just too get big eye,she yan


"gather the money,i yan


"wetin,spana you dey craze??,she yan


"remember wetin i first ask you,"co-operation"


"spana dat money too much,she yan


"pass ya life,pass ya family,pass ya husband career?,mama you get pass that money far far,so just follow me co-operate if you still want make im die,i yan



"so if you fit kill am,why giving him the money?,she yan


"now listen mama,i go still return ya money,but if i must meet that secret agent onto say him dey invisible the only tin wey go make am show face nah if the money dey ground,i yan


"oh! i don get ya liver now,so you go carry the money go meet am then once im show face you go finish im up,she yan


"gbam! tem! tem! mama wey rugged,ya brain just sabi grab fast mama,i yan


"hmm!,ok if na so then i go make quick arrangement now,i go send am with my husband executive bus so that police nor go fit stop dem for road,she yan


"till then mama,i cut the phone then face my guys

now everi body look hia,i yan as my guys turn dia attention to wia i stand

i begin yan dem how the tins go take go, after we don agree ontop the plan,as usual i calculate tins with my personal gun man "Stevo" as we agree again ontop the level wey i sample give am


no action taken without boosting moral,notin fit turn possible if we nor turn our brain spinning,so we waka go settle inside moral room,nah dia we begin pump jombo,coke nah must do,as the tin essential to us like breast milky take essential to small pikin, so we gather spread coke begin snuff dey fly our souls enter cloud,but e pain me as i nor see any angel fo space till by phone begin ring


"i shake head as i grab phone look the screen,the number be like text massage abi i don too high,onto say my guys dey make noise inside the room i waka open door go parlour

as i shuk head enter parlour nahim i sight something,but e comot sharpaly for my bacony,i no waste time as i jab up rush go bacony sharpaly,nah there my eye clear,him show again,the secret agent,i sight him zoom off ontop red power bike,but e get paper wey im drop ontop the pavement wey dey for front of my gate



i rush down as i grab the paper,nah address and location for wia i go meet him once we don gather the money,i smile as nah wetin i just want be that




1 hour later,spider gang don fully load inside golden dragon and the executive bus wey the money dey inside

after driving like say nah heaven wey dey go,finally we shuk head enter agege for lagos,the area too resemble ghetto,as nah area boys full all the street,no street wey we drive enter wey we nor go see area boys drinking or smoking jombo like tissue paper

e get one street we enter nahim we sight like six area boys dem,they carry wood block road as each moto and okada dey pay dem money before den go pass

i waka come down immediately we reach dia front

"ah!! alaye!!,bouncer le leyi oo!,one slim guy wey wear trousers,singlet wey i nor fit tell if nah white abi black,then leather sandals

"em!! bullet!!

"sir!

"clear road make dem pass,one fat guy yan from one shop wey nor far from wia bullet dey collect money for road


i just stand dey watch as the guy (bullet) and others take clear wood comot for road

"come,i yan


"baddo! im dey call you,bullet push one tall guy wey draw tattoo for im hand go front

"no nah you bullet,i yant

"ah! oga mi,twale baba i don comot the pkako finish nah

"no e get wetin i won follow you yan,i yan as the guy bounce come meet me


"wia red isolation dey,i yan


"ah! i talk am,nah bouncer una be,oga just drive go front,corner enter that small road wey enter that bush,you go see one house wey dem never build finish eh!,nahim be red isolation

"you do well bullet,i yan as as i turn go enter moto then my guys dem turn go park as nah only me go fit enter the place,


15 minutes later i drive burst out for one isolated uncompleted building,then i waka come down

i drive the executive bus wey contain all the money but as i take plan am the money nor reach

i surprise as eight guys take surround me within seconds as i stand for dia middle,dem wear red trousers without cloth for dem upper body nah just red tattoo full all dem body

then the boss,oga pkata-pkata surface ontop the one storey building,for dia middle wia i stand i look up,the red agent fly comot from the storey build as im begin rotate for air till he land for my front kneeling down,im stand up begin look me as everywhere just quiet like graveyard


i swear i won begin clap for am,all him stunts just make me won begin clap for am

"no going back spana nobody dey com visit red shadows and still waka go back alive,i be red shadow,he yan


"i like ya ego red shadow,i carry ya money come" but"
ontop all i carry my challenge come,nah either you kill me carry the money or i kill you carry the money,i yan


to be continued

Theblessedman!

ahswear Isaac newton and co scientist are still carring out research on how and where you got this your brain from!

infact i need to reward my man,em! lemme see what i can do



























oya send me your ATM pin lemme debit your account small

iyeeeeeee who slap me??

micholalo:
God bless you youngzubi. you are always on point. more ink to your pen, more data to ur phone

Amen!,he will bless us all

rowdymind:
I Might Not Be A Writer, Hell I Can't Even Write Bee, I Might Even Join The Bandwagon Screaming More!!!, I Really Can't Advice You On How To Write Since I Am Below Amature In The World Of Literature But Youngzubi The Goal Is To See To It That You Grow And Better Your Paper And Pen Skills.
I Don't Know Your Person But I'd Advice You Take Advice As Pointed Out By Others Humbly And Uncle I Will See You At The Top.



Nwanem Cheers

nna'e ndia na tiyezim confusion na'isi

souloho19:
Bro keep it up man! Just so you should know this your story inspired me to try something new too. Just keep doing your thing bro, bigger you I pray.
As per the bolded trust me its good to write for your readers but you are your 1st and most important audience. After all you are the first person who reads every update. Ι think there's a saying by Cyril Connolly that goes 'it's better to write for self and have no public than to write for the public and have no self' something like that and trust me the truth in those words really opened my eyes. Just keep doing your thing bro, its Lit.

BOSS!,i sight you bro

see as you just boost and build my moral with those few words of yours


'it's better to write for self and have no public than to write for the public and have no self'

am glad you appreciate my effort, i can never know it all, and i love it when am corrected for making mistakes,but some people tends to kill my morals when they insult and bushitt my work instead of constructive criticism


thank you man!

donvicky2007:
The Suspense is getting high.
Can the Spider be able to track the secret caller. Time will tell.
Let's keep our fingers crossed as the storyline is getting more interesting.
Keep it up Youngzubi, more ink in your pen.

thanks man

Preciousbouy:
Who da Bleep is this one

no! no! no!!,i strongly disagree with this bro
i dont like such please brotherly,if his criticism doesn't go well with you, then quote reasonably,dont use such abusive word

honourable356:
He nods...
May you continue to be a solution to your generation.

big Amen to that

about the rush,is like you'er here,i really wonna end the story,since people see this one as a "weak" thing due to the fact that am just starting and this is my first story that pulled audience, the PIDGIN thing limits my choice of words,yea!,it degrades my storyline,i struggle so hard to put things in place,but i promise you sir,my next story after sex na food will say it all

with all your great criticism and that of others i think i now know how to go about things,i just wanted to write for fun and build my imaginary ability but now am really having a second thought,i will come out full!!!!

English story coming up soon,let me just cool my head,refreshen up after sex na food then i will do it, others that have been doing it well all along doesn't have two heads


thank you for waking me from my slumber,time to work more!

honourable356:
Youngzubi stop messing up a nice plot with the impossible. I mean,you see how real everything is until you suddenly got to the secret agent side of the story...

*****the red guy fly up from wia im bin stand,for air he release multiple bullets within seconds all oga frank men from a to z full ground as the red guy land stand for ground gawwam!! with the two golden pistol for im hand*******



Unless they were few other people recruited by the said secret agent, it is quiet impossible for one person in the "open" to successful gun down to the head more than ten men all armed to the teeth and standing at different position...with just two pistol and with an undeniable accuracy.

Haba!!!!

This is over exaggeration.... even Jack baeur can't do this and neither can any special force soldier perform such stunts. It is not possible to shot many people down while in the air with just two pistol to the extent that by the time you land,you have successful killed them all with a bullet to the head. Haba nah!!!!

Wait,wait,wait a minutes...are you in a hurry to finish the story? Then you are making a mistake..a big one.

Why rush??
Calm down....
Give detail description that will get your audience nodding firmly in agreement.

Indeed you can do it...it is just a matter of time before you get it right.
Be rest assured that i will be on your neck every now and then until you give me no reason to object repeatedly.

Ride on!

sir the story is 100% fiction, that red agent part both his stunts and all that was just my way to bring in American and whitemen as whole,their way of action movie which our movie industry here in Nigeria is yet bring in

movie lovers i mean those who love action movies will understand what i mean

i love actions,with our imaginations i think we can actually make the impossible become possible

"fiction" yea! thats why it is called fiction,for it gives us the chance to express the extraordinary,once a story is not real then the readers should expect "beyond" the real life event,but" it shouldn't be over done,and thats where your point is directly pointing at,i gat that

nollywood need to upgrade
there need serious upgrading with powerful technologies
we'er sick and tired of a victim dying before bullet hit him or her


i really appreciate your kind gesture,please dont give up on your boy, i l'll try my best till you agree with my work,thank you very much sir

still your guy youngzubi

rowdymind:
Honourable356 Thank You For Pointing out Errors, Please Stick Around We Need More Of Your Constructive Criticism.
Youngzubi I Admire Your Humility Please Keep It Up As It Would Open Doors, Windows And Roof For You.
The Story Is Interesting We Need More And With The New Recipe.

my brother from another mother,thank you bro

honourable356 phenotech, i can't mention all but i must confess you guys are lovely,more love fam!,


Episode....41



Fire for fire!
-----------------




From look of tins,even if i go escape e' nor go be easy tin,as oga frank don order im boys sey make dem carry me go tie ontop one chain wey hang up,like Jesus Christ wen im dey ontop cross,naso dem take hang me with chain,but everywhere dark nobi small,so e hard make i see dia face well,but one tin sure,my people go come

"Mr spana, im call my name as he waka com front stand,with cigarette for im mouth followed by plenty smoke wey begin find dia escape root to run comot from im mouth,i fit take tins easy wit you,only" in one condition,you ready to co-operate?


look me well oga frank,wetin i resemble you,asin wetin you see wen you open eye look my face,i nor be bastered!!,notin fit make me fear,i be rock wey notin fit move,look i advice sey make you and this ya bastereds free me before the calamity wey dey front go land ontop una,i yan based on say i don feel am say my people don get clue say i dey danger


"Hahaha!!!,plenty years as police officer,plenty experience on how to handle fools like you nah my work,but incase you decide to get sense and accept my simple offer i go free you without affecting even the hair wey dey ya body,oga frank yan


"wetin be the offer?,i yan


"now you'er talking,

"skyB!

"yes boss,

"bring him down,chain am for that chair make im follow me talk business,oga frank yan


"i begin watch as skyB,the guy get body with big chest,im waka go push one iron rode as the chain wey bin hang me up begin drop me come down jejely,dem nor gree make my leg reach ground before surrounding me with gun from different direction,but that one nobi case, so i calculate tins,peson wey dey important apart from oga frank nahim i need,becos oga frank nor gree near me as im just stand far dey control im boys

as i dey stand for ground,with only trousers as dem don wipe off all my dress tey tey!,one guy rush my back with handcuffs,as two other guys grab my right and left hand go back sey make dem handcuff am keep for back

i kept my cool till one hand enter inside the hand cuff,like sey i won do backflit i carry head go back as i grab the guy wey busy dey handcuff my hand i grab im head as a support then fly up with a flying kick wey send the other two guys wey bin hold my hand go jam head for iron,sharpaly i twist around then seize the handcuff guy up,with my hand inside one handcuff i use the handcuff circle him neck and hold him tight as defence victim

ka !kra! ka! kra!,i begin hear gun cork for different corner,but everywhere dark,nah few people i dey see as i begin turn around dey face any side i hear gun cork,still holding my defence victim tight as nah im i go take surrender others and shield myself


Pam! pam! peson begin clap as im waka go on the light switch pkam!


everywhere brighten as i sight plenty men wey wear black with red cap surround every corner with gun well positioned for dia hand,all of dem pointing at me,i begin turn around in confusion,i bin think say nah only oga frank with just five other guys


"Hahaha!!,i like am as you take confuse,e' sweet me as you take see tins for ya sef sey apart from being police d.p.o,i be cult head too,so wetin you think now,make we talk business abi?,oga frank yan with wide grin


i just deaf and dump for wia i stand for dia middle,still thinking wetin i go reply abi plan my next move wen one voice interrupt everybody


"free am make im go!,


everybody shock as we turn look wia the voice from come

standing ontop one iron nah one slim guy wey wear red dress from head to toe, im wear red jacket wey long reach ground,red mask cover im face then for im waist nah two golden pistol


oga frank with all im guys comot dia gun from my side as dem now begin focus and point the slim guy


who be you?,oga frank yan


secret agent",the slim guy yan


nah who you be im secret agent?,oga frank yan still pointing im gun


late chief ayawu's secret agent,but i nor com hia for interview so free him


maka why?? who be you!!,oga frank bark as all the vein wey full im body shuk head begin display


the red guy fly up from wia im bin stand,for air he release multiple bullets within seconds all oga frank men from a to z full ground as the red guy land stand for ground gawwam!! with the two golden pistol for im hand


i nor just believe watin happen now now now,as i begin turn head dey look how oga frank men take full ground with bullets wey scatter dia foe head for exert point


now you know who i be!,never mess up with the devil,the red guy yan as im begin waka round the warehouse


as for you spana"

how im take sabi my name i begin wonder


tell ya boss wetin you just witness for you nor match me at all,i need my money or else i go destroy everybody"he still dey yan when the entrance blow as the iron gate collapse then spider gang surround everywhere


i turn look wia the red guy stand but i nor see anything again



to be continued...........

good one bro
i also recommend
classicpluz|Africa(its all about stories)

honourable356:
He sigh....

I read down everything quietly until and understood that apart from trying to learn,this is also fun to you.

But...

You failed woefully in some regard.
You didn't carry out research on many of the insinuations you initiatl
Admittedly, no one has monopoly of every information concerning every sphere of life that is why research is compulsory especially when writing a story/book based on one imaginary vision.

Vision/imaginations MUST be altered unless you encountered a TRUE LIFE experience otherwise the audience well versed in a certain area you mentioned in your story would laugh in disbelief and not take you seriously.

A policeman ORDERING a soldier?? IMPOSSIBLE!!!! Even a so called inspector general of police is no match for a merely sergeant in the military nor can he issue order to the said sergeant.

So the so called frank ordering a military man is an insult to the military.

Mmm,a bloody civilian entering into a military interrogation room with such audacity is far from possible. it doesn't happen. Even the wife of a military group captain doesn't have the authority to issue orders at all,at all. Hehehe....I didn't take that seriously and only assuming you are having fun....learning the rope as amateur.

Some audience are just woe by the sex scenes while other by the pigin English. Every heard of the phrase "too much of everything is bad"??

I tell you this most solemnly,the ability to pull the crowd and leave them eagerly anticipating repeatedly depends on the make belief of your story... too much of the sex would bore them.


Be real
Be unpredictable
Be detail in your description,
Create a picture highly difficult to dispute in the mind of your audience and would get them scrambling to refresh this page..

You just took the first step to become a giant in the literacy world.

Best wishes!!!

thank you sir,i really appreciate your effort,time and ability to be able to point out those errors,i really love your matured way of criticism, am also glad that you acknowledged my level in the field"amateur" which made you criticize with caution,am just trying to learn and thats why i always ask for comments because its my only means of getting feedback and corrections so as to work more

more of your thoughts are welcomed please sir always share them

thank you brotherly,i will definitely do thorough editing once am through

Atayis:
baba, u re creative. God bless you

thank you bro

dyze:
Nice one. Always expecting your updates

naso me sef dey take expect your comments,my man always drop your thoughts nah

kevspens:
Nice story bro..... I usually don't comment but keep it up ��

bro always try,just manage dey drop something,nah my only means of getting moral to continue

tomgab:
I will keep saying this until the whole of nairaland agrees with me, "guy you are a genius"

i comot cap for u jare,thanks brotherly

care4val:
Ur story make sense die. Am just addicted to it lyk superglue. weldonsir.

thanks bro

Jalvin:
bros nor vex na 4rm kano i dy read ur tory..sory say i nova comment..bt na d 1st time i dy comment 4 person tory..e mke sence die..more pussy 2 ur dick

thanks man,but still,always support the ministry with your comments