₦airaland Forum

My tecno spark 5, Don dey disturb me to upgrade, but i won't do it.

Avoid Nigerian private universities o, because your pikin go just useless kpata-kpata for there o it's better you send them abroad

Chai, People wicked o
This heavenly race no easy o

I don f*ck Fulani girl before Sha, she was cute, slim, she was my class mate in secondary, but I come dey fear make she no carry belle from somewhere come put am for my head, say na me get the baby, because the girl liked me so much.

Nicklaus619:
I caught a rat terrorising our house, this particular rat eat everything and anything on sight, one day I set a cage trap for it and the mumu was caught so I tied the two hands separately like crucifying but didn't kill it, I then brought plenty long nails and was learning how to throw dart with the nails to the rat, until one of the nail nailed it on the head to the tree, I felt so fulfilled then
I was just 8 then

u are very bad

SportsHD:
Bruh.

It was on my 19th birthday. I've already started making some cool cash online then. Decided to celebrate it with my roommates.

But, the devil that day decided to talk to my roommate to tell me about trans amusement park near UI in ibadan here. So, we wanted to call Uber, since na night and after three drivers failed to come pick us up, we decided to carry okada. Mehnnn

It started raining when we came out of the house. Well, we don plan am so no wam, we go brave the rain.

Na so we sight one aboki. Flagged him down. It was around nine in the night and we were three so we all decided to hop on the same bike.

Mind you, I was already higher than Jehova, like Popcaan says. Was high on various grades of mariwawi. I was in a state of euphoria at the moment, coupled with the fact that, I'm celebrating my birthday for the first time.

Anyway, as we passed ojoo police station side, the road became free, we were virtually the only one on the road. So, the aboki decided to play rush hour with our lives. All I know was the bike was gaining speed. I was at the back, the breeze was coming fast onto my face. Was so fuvcking high, I was enjoying it.

All of a sudden, na so one coaster bus, stood at an intersection, wanting to move to the other side.

The bike man was also racing towards it, tried to hold the brake, the brake didn't work.

The road was slippery, the bike was just sliding at 60mph towards the stationary coaster bus. Na so my roommate wey dey front grabbed the okada steering from the bike man and was dragging the two brakes simultaneously.

Next thing I heard was gboaaah. We fell down and was sliding towards the busy intersection, there was like five cars there. Then we hit the coaster bus on the side, the bike man fainted, we all fell on the streets, my eye cleared straight!
I wanted to stand up, so that I don't get crushed by other cars, I couldn't, my legs weren't working. Abobi, I don dey panic. As I was dragging myself on the road to the curb, some passersby came to help us. Dragged me onto the curb. I wasn't even looking at my other roommates wether they've died or not. My concern was about my leg and why it's not working.

As I was recuperating and seeing that I didn't have any major bruises and my legs didn't break or anything, I told God that if I can walk again, I'll quit drinking and smoking.

My other roommates, came to meet me where I was. Apparently, they weren't hurt. The bike man has also been resuscitated.

Roommate now said, let's continue to the amusement park, I told him that I couldn't walk. He said it's a minor issue that since my legs aren't broken, that I should try and walk it off. I stood up with their help and decided to go home to nurse my wounds. The niggas just flagged a car down and told the driver to proceed to the amusement park. I wan cry.

Afterwards, when we got to the park, my legs was already gaining traction back, even though I was still hurting.

I still downed a bottle of lords gin and some Henny that night. Even topped it with amusement park kush. My hands were shaking as I was holding the cup and smoking.
Was shaking like an old man.

Then, Called one of our guys to come pick us up. Told him that I was involved in an accident that I couldn't walk.

When we entered his car, he said; na you bastards wey get accident dey reek of alcohol like this? I said; let's thank God for life bruh.

Could've landed in the hospital or worse that night.
Now, I have phobia of driving on express ways or sending someone on an errand and the person wants to use okada.

no be small thing o, Thank God, hope you went for check-up in the hospital?

Mightymosco:
I tear 1 chiken slap say make im shut up as im dey shout wen we catch am...

We must have had some crazy things we did, as kids, while growing up, mine was when I injected a rat with mixed strong alcohol...oh man, staggering and dizziness is not meant for human alone Share your experiences too.
Let's have fun.
No insults abeg.

Nido and Dano has been my favorite, but I will try this Three crown sha, I don't like peak.

This prayer no go change anything, Buhari is very strong, do you know how many curses and insults wey baba Don collect, from 2015 till date, almost every single day millions of Nigerians dey swear for am, but baba no even send una

Icumsa45:
Some people dey use old age as chieftaincy title, as I dey na headbutt he fit collect.

I'm telling you bro, we finished him, he had to join the queue from the last

Me and one man nearly exchange blow, inside Fidelity bank on Wednesday, after standing in the queue for over 2 hours, finally it was my turn to withdraw, Werey came and told me to wait that he wants to withdraw first, say na my senior him be, with a commanding tone o, no single atom of politeness, omo I no gree, I pushed him back, and the guy standing behind me did the same too, and he learnt his lesson no be say the fool Don old o, he should be around 45.

This woman fit be person MGBADA (Client), my hearty condolence goes to the husband and the picker too

Nobody is a Saint, but this Governor and Nyesom wike are the best Governors in Nigeria currently.

Search for the name of the person on the receipt on Facebook and chat him up, or check if the person's phone number is on his Facebook account, That's if u truly want to return the phone.

These useless people keep marrying underage girls in the name of religion... Mtcheew

Those hustling and working class ladies are very rare to find currently, But Sha u fit see them in Anambra state especially Nnewi.

Stupid girl, you open nyash dey twerk because of ₦30,000, come dey tell us say Your papa Don loose plenty contracts, which big man pikin go do this kain nonsense wey u do?

Madam Ugwuanyị, second Most useless Governor in Nigeria after, Governor Yahaya Bello of KOGI state

If I see opportunity to leave this shit hole, I no go bother to come back, ahswear!

This one no concern Buhari, his number 1 priority now is how to make sure that APC wins November 6th Governorship Election in Anambra state.

Come to Anambra state especially Onitsha dem no born any policeman or Civil defense officer to wear uniform and be gallivanting around, we dey show them shege.

People no longer value human life again, no conscience, every body just dey do anyhow. The painful thing here, is that nothing will happen to the killer-police man. No be naija we dey?
May God help us.

Pls I'm interested sir, I'm a student, I've run out of foodstuffs, because I'm schooling in the South East where things are very expensive. I'm ready to provide any evidence,
I pray God touches your heart to help me sir
Thank you sir.

Me as a student sef, 5k no dey even do me reach 1week sef South East is very expensive to live in, especially Anambra state, it seems like you are living in Benue state or some other northern state, where things are quite cheaper.

shedy03:
Yeah

wow, okay

shedy03:
Yola based nairalander, thumbs up.

you stay in Yola too?