@ poster ure just an epitome of mental,intellectual,moral and psychological poverty.i pity d bimbo dat wants to sign her life with a pathetic fellow like u with low iq.ur own idea of marriage is making babies.did u pass d 4 walls of a university?obviously not,because if u did u will have been more refined.smh.if am d b*tch,ure d bigger animal dat hasnt heard d word 'keeping d marriage bed undefiled',ure obviously flounting his laws n u want him to bless ur desecrated and defiled union,whos words dont sum up now?like i said earlier ure way too lousy and u talk too much 4 a man. And frm d crap uve written there,its obvious dat d most active part of ur body is ur penis and not ur brains dats y i said ure animalistic like,looser! My boo sends his regards.. Hehehe.woe unto he who defiles d lords temple and institution (marriage) am sure uve nt seen dat in ur bible.spits on poster once again and spits on d unholy institution of lust,sin,selfishness and conditionalities.@ least dats d foundation of ur union,u can see how strong d foundation of ur pseudo marriage is.hehehehe

I see no reason why a lady would not want to get pregnant after wedding except she is keeping secret.I suggest you shine your eye before she uses you as a ticket to get to American.

pendo89:

You know what stunna? Honestly? can you please take ur time before u proceed with this?
You have so many unanswered questions which make u doubt so much. Reading through ur replies I feel as though ur about to make a move too fast.
When you are confused, do not act! Wait and see how things work out cz some things are too sensitive to quickly jump into.
Get ur attention off the visa,marriage first and think about the girl you plan to marry.Is she worth the headache ur putting yourself through?
If yes then always do the right thing.

I have my own reservations but I will not discourage you if you are head over heels,

Thanks for ur observations

You r not too far from the truth. She asked me when do I want to come back for the wedding I said in 2year time but she said NO right away...it has to be next year! Y the hurry to get married so fast...I wanna know n why so many No to even little things? But then again she could just be forming as she is not out of zuniversity n work life has started n it's a daily grind...she might calm down??

Becacia_Barbie:
its obvious u dont really know her at all nd u wnto marry her? Dnt b foooled oo, she mite just be a gold digger who is just lookin for an opportunity to leave d country! I advise u get to know her well...b4 u evn think of having a baby wid her...Most gals r desperate o...nd dey wil do anythn to leave the country! And bsds wts wrong in gettn som1 in U.S?

Well, there is noting wrong with getting someone here in America...! They have their set of problems here and I wanted to keep it real and keep it Naija! If she comes over and things don't work out...then I will still have my kids as Naija kids and help care for them. With American women, you could lose everything potentially and that's hard...

American woman do however have their appeal, they keep it real and with them it is what it is...as they let u know with everything they have, when they like you and want you...Some Naija girls seems to want u to beg them for love?

kulyie: @ poster ure just an epitome of mental,intellectual,moral and psychological poverty.i pity d bimbo dat wants to sign her life with a pathetic fellow like u with low iq.ur own idea of marriage is making babies.did u pass d 4 walls of a university?obviously not,because if u did u will have been more refined.smh.if am d b*tch,ure d bigger animal dat hasnt heard d word 'keeping d marriage bed undefiled',ure obviously flounting his laws n u want him to bless ur desecrated and defiled union,whos words dont sum up now?like i said earlier ure way too lousy and u talk too much 4 a man. And frm d crap uve written there,its obvious dat d most active part of ur body is ur penis and not ur brains dats y i said ure animalistic like,looser! My boo sends his regards.. Hehehe.woe unto he who defiles d lords temple and institution (marriage) am sure uve nt seen dat in ur bible.spits on poster once again and spits on d unholy institution of lust,sin,selfishness and conditionalities.@ least dats d foundation of ur union,u can see how strong d foundation of ur pseudo marriage is.hehehehe

I thought you quit this thread...! Let ur Yes be Yes and ur No be No, anything more than that is a Sin or is from the evil one...is that not what ur bible says??
So, why r you back here again?? U see how u can not be trusted to keep ur word n you are here fighting a battle u can never win? U know that I have to dumb down my way of thinking to even have this unending conversation with you? Preacher look In the mirror...
sorry, I dont know where ur claims of defiling marriage comes from and u sure dont sound like a person of God to me...!

Get off of my dick..will ya??

I'm really going to disappoint u now...I do not believe in the bible or in the existence of god! U r wasting ur time, so go find someone else to preach to...urself perhalps.?!!?

$tunna:


Well, there is noting wrong with getting someone here in America...! They have their set of problems here and I wanted to keep it real and keep it Naija! If she comes over and things don't work out...then I will still have my kids as Naija kids and help care for them. With American women, you could lose everything potentially and that's hard...

American woman do however have their appeal, they keepmit real and with them it is what it is...as they let u know with everything they have, when they like you and want you...Naija girls seems to want u to beg them for love?

well it seems u just wna have kids! nd since ur heart isnt gna b broken if she leaves u in d future! So be it...May God help u in making d right decision.

Sarah a: I see no reason why a lady would not want to get pregnant after wedding except she is keeping secret.I suggest you shine your eye before she uses you as a ticket to get to American.

Thanks
This is y I am concerned. She said no sex when we met...let's wait until u come back and I said fine.and I respected her No to that. But when she say No Way will she try to get pregnant after the wedding...I started getting really worried.

But I will have a serious talk with her soon. I have already told her she say too many No to very little things sometimes and that I don't like that...

I just need to raise the big issue again, if she says No Way after I explain my reasons properlly in datails again...then it will be bye bye after that

I have no plans to let her or anyone I may marry be stranded in Africa as that is not who I am if she try to watch me very well, she will soon find that out she need not worry

@kulyie
Hmmm, u know that I can see u reading this thread still...y dont u just leave this thread alone madam?? See me see wa ha la ooo!,just disappear already, thanks for ur contributions so far...pls go away now, k

Ok,no wonder.i now see ure an atheist who is nt beta dan a gay guy or a prostitute, n of course am off ur thread because ure a looser and everytin bout u depicts dat,n of course i had to com bak wen my phone kept givin me notifications dat a looser has refered to my earlier post if not what am i doin in d thread of a debased mind who doesnt bliv in God but practices what he has ordained n goes ahead to corrupt it.of course i have d right under heaven n earth to talk to u about morals because he has said daughers of God tel d morally bankrupt to desist from their foolishness,and stop highlightin my posts n ill back off from ur filthy thread sucker!

poster

i can understand your fears and concerns about how things are going. But you also have to look at it from her side. what if she is afraid to get pregnant for you and suddenly you meet a new woman at your location? you would probably just forget her and she would be a single mother.

i think you both should back off the whole marriage talk for now because you need to spend time getting to know each other as much as you can with the distance between the two of you. More importantly you both will need to sit down as equals and have serious conversation about your concerns and fears and also hear what she has to say. That way you can get an idea of where your relationship is going.

p.s ask her about the statement you made in which you said if you were moving to Nigeria wouldn't she have children for you.

kulyie: Ok,no wonder.i now see ure an atheist who is nt beta dan a gay guy or a prostitute, n of course am off ur thread because ure a looser and everytin bout u depicts dat,n of course i had to com bak wen my phone kept givin me notifications dat a looser has refered to my earlier post if not what am i doin in d thread of a debased mind who doesnt bliv in God but practices what he has ordained n goes ahead to corrupt it.of course i have d right under heaven n earth to talk to u about morals because he has said daughers of God tel d morally bankrupt to desist from their foolishness,and stop highlightin my posts n ill back off from ur filthy thread sucker!

GO AWAY!!! hahahahahahaha!! Is it not late in Lagos now...go get some since it sounds like u need to get laid...forget the preaching pls and go get some from ur weakling future husband if u have not castrated him already to anable ya control him! Haba

omega25red: poster

i can understand your fears and concerns about how things are going. But you also have to look at it from her side. what if she is afraid to get pregnant for you and suddenly you meet a new woman at your location? you would probably just forget her and she would be a single mother.

i think you both should back off the whole marriage talk for now because you need to spend time getting to know each other as much as you can with the distance between the two of you. More importantly you both will need to sit down as equals and have serious conversation about your concerns and fears and also hear what she has to say. That way you can get an idea of where your relationship is going.

p.s ask her about the statement you made in which you said if you were moving to Nigeria wouldn't she have children for you.

I will sure ask her that when next we talk about the issue. I have sisters n have no plans to go to Naija and marry some girl and leave her stranded there...I will not be happy if someone did that to any of my sisters.

Am not like u.u dont expect everyone to think d same way u do.i think like a rational human being with my god given brain,u think with ur penis like dats d organ dat controls all d parts of ur body includin ur brain,dats if u have one anyonrstop highlightin my post o! My phone kips ringin stop it animal! My bible,Decency and morals tel me dat a man is man enough to be a husband when he has taken me to d alter nt when he has shined my congo,as 4 u askin me weda av castrated him,where u really born in a maternity hospital or in d jungle,because many of ur traits are so debased.i can see penis is d only tin dat mins d world to u.abi have u ever heard of a woman castratin a man bfor if nt dat ure abnormal and ur perverted mind has so perverted ur brains dat u dont have d ability to think like a human being again,u reek of filth,immorality,lust,perversion,waywardness.all what ur life revolves around is sex..animal stop highlighting me o! My boo says he is too honourable to get into convo wit u.go and jump into d lake afta weddin and i have my 1st baby dat will come into a home filled with purity..animal! Hahahahaha u look at urself with pride,i look @ u with contempt,disgust n pity

Caracta: @OP, i think you should just settle this issue with her and her parents. Let her parents get involved and explain your reason and fears to them. I'm sure she has fears too and doesn't want to be dumped in a 'strange' land. Work it out. You are a man and you are an adult, nobody should make decisions for you. All the best

thanks

$tunna:


Pls respond to the issue I raised if u want to comment. She wants kids and I wants kids n I have i said that a few times now so that is not the issue! The issue is I do not have time to stay in Nigeria and get to know this woman and then marry her so I can not be sure that things will work out and I have no intension of going to Nigeria and marrying a woman and giving her free tickets to America only for her to get here and say sorry I don't really love you...! Only for her to get there and finds out her university degree from nigeria will not get her a dream job and only to turn around and blame me and want to leave me! If she is sincere that she loves me, why does she insist she can only get pregnant when she gets to America?.

Pls deal with the issue

seems ur not ready 4 dis risk called 'marriage'>no offence<coz ur tryin to move dis post of urs 2 a counter attack position.
Am hitting d head and not goin round, am straight 2 d issue nd not dodging response, but brother ur trying 2 shift d blame.
If u dont knw her dat much, how come ur dis much in love, if u cant trust her;then u dont love her but lust 4 her.WAKE UP BROTHER>LOVE COMES WITH NO SPARE TYRE[A GAME OF RISK

kulyie: Am not like u.u dont expect everyone to think d same way u do.i think like a rational human being with my god given brain,u think with ur penis like dats d organ dat controls all d parts of ur body includin ur brain,dats if u have one anyonrstop highlightin my post o! My phone kips ringin stop it animal! My bible,Decency and morals tel me dat a man is man enough to be a husband when he has taken me to d alter nt when he has shined my congo,as 4 u askin me weda av castrated him,where u really born in a maternity hospital or in d jungle,because many of ur traits are so debased.i can see penis is d only tin dat mins d world to u.abi have u ever heard of a woman castratin a man bfor if nt dat ure abnormal and ur perverted mind has so perverted ur brains dat u dont have d ability to think like a human being again,u reek of filth,immorality,lust,perversion,waywardness.all what ur life revolves around is sex..animal stop highlighting me o! My boo says he is too honourable to get into convo wit u.go and jump into d lake afta weddin and i have my 1st baby dat will come into a home filled with purity..animal! Hahahahaha u look at urself with pride,i look @ u with contempt,disgust n pity

kulyie abeg who gave u dis lyrics>birdman?nicki perhaps

Sarah a: I see no reason why a lady would not want to get pregnant after wedding except she is keeping secret.I suggest you shine your eye before she uses you as a ticket to get to American.

i didnt expect dis 4rm a lady>maybe u might give me 94 kids

Princeparix: seems ur not ready 4 dis risk called 'marriage'>no offence<coz ur tryin to move dis post of urs 2 a counter attack position.
Am hitting d head and not goin round, am straight 2 d issue nd not dodging response, but brother ur trying 2 shift d blame.
If u dont knw her dat much, how come ur dis much in love, if u cant trust her;then u dont love her but lust 4 her.WAKE UP BROTHER>LOVE COMES WITH NO SPARE TYRE[A GAME OF RISK

I see ur point big guy.
Just do not agree with you because of love, I should assume all the risk...while she takes none.

That's not going to happen. Just to go visit her for 2 or 3 weeks will cost a million naira n a wedding will cost me even more and applying for, processing her papers and getting her here all on my dime...and I hear you think I'm asking for too much to want her to get pregnant after our wedding??

U seems to have a picture of a helpless woman who is being forced to marry me and get pregnant for me!

I did not call her for 6months b4 I went to Naija and did not tell her I was there...the person who introduced us came to see me and insisted I needed to at least see this girl and gave her a call and she on her own offerd to come and see me...!

We will have to assume equal risk be it love or lust period. I'm however not so sure why u think all I want is sex (lust)...! why would i go through all the expense and trouble of getting it from her or do u think there are not enough beautiful girls here in America from everywhere in the world u can imagine??

I want love and a peaceful family and I'm willing to take a risk and a chance with this lady...but that does not mean I have to be foolish

Anyways, if I decided tonight that there is nothing she can offer me that an American woman or other girl in naija who likes me can not...the relationship will be over and this time it will be over for good!

So I hear ur point...about no guarantee in marriage, but NO I will not take all the risk on my own as u want me to...

Princeparix: i didnt expect dis 4rm a lady>maybe u might give me 94 kids

Y not from a lady? A lot of ladies r very reasonable n logical and what this lady says sounds very reasonable n truthful to me...! Do u not have lady friends that speak the truth to u about other woman?? Lol

...and my guy what do u need 94kids for...u must be a Billionaire and u better start soon if u want that many kids

Me, I just want two or 3kids n I will be done!

Gabriel_sylar:

Please dont marry that girl.......REASON....COS SHE IS NOT COHERENT....A THIRD PARTY IS SOMEWHERE DICTATING TO HER AND DIS MIGHT HAVE OTHER UNSEEN REPERCUSSIONS

It turned out you were right on point on this!!

no1madman: i feel u,but she sounds stubborn(is dis what u really want)
i suggest u take ur time 2 know her more. . study her wella!
can she stand d test of time/is she a fair weather woman?
It's not all about gettin her pregnant but gettin d right woman. . .gettin it right!

It turned out you we're among those who got t right...

$tunna:


It turned out you we're among those who got t right...

give us the gist!

The relationship with this girl ended about a year ago and I was told tonight she thought I was not serious based on the amount of cash I gave her to cover her transportation back home to lagos when she came to see me (I had just payed for the transport)!

Wow, i may have narrowly missed a gold digger who didn't care about me at all...or believe in love!

It all made sense now!
We had stooped talking 6 months prior to the month I went back home to bury my mom. My 2nd cousin who introduced us told her I was in nigeria and we spoke and she said she would come see me...and I liked her very much when I saw her but still didn't know her much.
She did come to see me but said there would be no sex. I respected her wish. After the visit, I asked for a kiss goodbye in my hotel and she said NO but that she would give me one at the Bus Station!

We were there at the station for quite a while but I did not get any kiss and I did not complain...! When she boarded her transportation, I paid for it and said goodbye...
We kept in touch for 2weeks after I arrived back home and she stopped talking to me without any explanation and I kept trying for two months to communicate.
Then, I asked her what the issue was and that I felt she was mature enough to at least tell me why she stopped talking to me...
She said her friends had told her to stop talking to me.
She also said she was worried that the distance was too great, and that she would not be able to see me often. I had tried to deal with her fears and we talked for a couple more months after until it all fell apart.

The man who introduced us just told me tonight that he called her last month and she bitterly complained about the fact that I only payed for her transportation back home and that she could not tell her friends that I did not pay her for coming to see me as they would be shocked and ask her if that is the man she wants to marry!

This lady did not bring me a sympathy card for my mom who passed away and the reason I came to Naija...! (What a huge cultural differences and misunderstanding, wow!)

She said she would kiss me goodbye at the Bus Station and I had wrongly assumed she forgot to do that, and that I was not even sure she liked me at all...but how wrong I was - she was super offended that I did not give her cash, lots more, so it's entirely possible that I did not get the kiss goodbye because I did not earn it!! I was told tonight that she was so angry and so embarrassed that she almost refused the transport money!!! Hahahahahaha!! I don't understand... A potential great love discarded in an instance over cash money!
That's is sad!

I just wanted to add this update, to warn guys who go home to try to use money to buy love - money can not buy you love, and if you go to Naija to ask a girl to marry you because you are from America and rich and you are not, don't be surprised if she gets here and leaves your bottom or nag you and be unhappy for the rest of her life; remember if she is unhappy, you will be too!

It takes time to get to know people and also make sure you trust the person introducing the two of you as you may not know what they told this girl behind your back to make her agree to be with you...!

Yes, while love requires money, it's also true that money itself can not buy or keep love!

Thanks for all those who responded and tried to help best way they know...even though I may have disagreed with a lot of ya, I however took into account a lot of what was said, both good and bad.

Be blessed.

Feel free to ask any question, n I will respond...but there is no need for insults lol

$tunna:


i dont know u and i have not made any assumptions about you...this post is not about you so, im not sure how it has turned into ur issue

lol she is just being Kulyie.

gcfr.com:
lol she is just being Kulyie.

Sorry, but could you like - interpret that for ur brother...?! I'm not sure what that word Kulyie means lol

$tunna:


I just wanted to add this update, to warn guys who go home to try to use money to buy love - money can not buy you love, and if you go to Naija to ask a girl to marry you because you are from America and rich and you are not, don't be surprised if she gets here and leaves your bottom or nag you and be unhappy for the rest of her life; remember if she is unhappy, you will be too!

It takes time to get to know people and also make sure you trust the person introducing the two of you as you may not know what they told this girl behind your back to make her agree to be with you...!

Good points well said.

I have always advised my colleagues against having a relationship with home-based Nigerian ladies. There are loads of desperate marriageable ladies everywhere, I don't understand why people would ignore them and pursue a long-distance relationship with someone thousands of miles away. I refuse to buy into the argument that home-based ladies are more value-oriented and morally sound than foreign-based ones, most home-based ladies are even more spoilt than the foreign-based ones.

It pass doomed if you had listened to those ladies on here....your life would have been down NIAGARA FALLS..Make i read other comments before i tell you my own.

pro01: OP,

You would be DOOMED if you take any female's advice on this matter. If I were you, I would thread cautiously with that girl because she might have ulterior motives. We have heard countless stories of such women who rode on the back of men like you to the US, Canada or elsewhere, only to dump the men and move on with their lives when they consolidate their residency over there. At least if she has a child for you, it would decrease her 'stock' and reduce the chances of her walking away so freely when she gets to the US. Some might argue that she might have good intentions, but I wouldn't take the chance of finding out at my own risk. Be WISE.

claremont:
Good points well said.

I have always advised my colleagues against having a relationship with home-based Nigerian ladies. There are loads of desperate marriageable ladies everywhere, I don't understand why people would ignore them and pursue a long-distance relationship with someone thousands of miles away. I refuse to buy into the argument that home-based ladies are more value-oriented and morally sound than foreign-based ones, most home-based ladies are even more spoilt than the foreign-based ones.

This is a great eye opener for me...!
I was talking about I like her she like me but I didn't know she was judging how much cash I gave her on top of paying for her transport back home! As a matter of fact, I do not know what my cousin told her before she agree to "marry me"!

If I gave her 20 or 15 or 50,000Naira for taxi, maybe she would love me, right but what happens when she gets to where I live and found out I'm not a movie star and do no have mansions? My question is, why don't these girls just get local men with mansions in Naija if that's all they dream of!?
If not because I'm a mature man, I would have fall for her beauty...but all the signs were there and I listened to my heart even though I just found out the truth tonight a year after we stopped talking...

My friends who convince me to go to Naija have now all went there to marry and are full of regrets...the ones the wives stayed and the ones their wife didn't stay!
Yes, the ones who suffered to get here on their own know how hard it is and will most likely appreciate what you do for her...compared to the one you work two shifts to bring here!
Again for the record, I believe raising a family...having a wife and kids requires cash but I refuse to believe I can buy real love with money.

seangy4konji: It pass doomed if you had listened to those ladies on here....your life would have been down NIAGARA FALLS..Make i read other comments before i tell you my own.

Any man who had been loved knows women try to make ur life easy if they love you or like you...but I could not get over the fact that the lady said know to practically everything and anything I asked for - small as well as big and I'm not used to that at all...
If a woman her age and education with a job came to see me here because I lost a loved one, they will bring a sympathy card for me and would be very offended if I try to pay for their taxi to go back home never mind if I offer her cash on top of that...she would think I was weak and want to buy her love...
So, I'm not sure why a Naija girl of her age and education expected cash from me...I find it baffling! She knew I am not broke since she saw me got a taxi to take both of us to church on Saturday, have the taxi driver sleep inside his taxi and wait some hours for us and we were told I owned the taxi 10.000naira at the end of the afternoon and gave him the cash without questions...

So what was the issue?! I'm sure some people here are saying to themselves, oh gosh, this man does not understand Naija girls at all...so maybe this is normal! I'm not used to it so it makes me worry a lot...

Wow, lol

$tunna:
..should i keep negoatiating or just forget the whole thing now? i like her but not sure what to do.

if anyone needs more info to give any advice...just ask

Do the traditional
This whole issue depend on your age and the girls age
I am not sure why you are going to Nigeria to get Marry
Do you have kids?
If you have kids. You are likely going to have problem Marring a Nigerian woman
Why MOST Nigerian women are very selfish will not fully accept your other kids like most American women

GoodFaith:
Do the traditional
This whole issue depend on your age and the girls age
I am not sure why you are going to Nigeria to get Marry
Do you have kids?
If you have kids. You are likely going to have problem Marring a Nigerian woman
Why MOST Nigerian women are very selfish will not fully accept your other kids like most American women

Actually the story is from a year or so ago, we have since gone our separate ways...