uj_sizzle: Any marriage that doesn't last is that way simply coz there's no solid ground work. A house with bad foundation collapses. If i prepare myself for good things then i'll attract them to myself. If i don't then i take what i see....this is why ntn works out fine for some pple. U dnt have set goals, u just go wherever the wind blows u. Then one day u wake up n realise ur llife has just past by without ur achieving anything..then u make wrong choices in an attempt to get it back on track. If u fail to plan, u plan to fail.

uj_sizzle: I know it isn't but then no one can blame you for not trying ur best and doin ur all. It's still a starter,good things dnt come for everyone on a platter of gold...only d extremely fortunate.

uj_sizzle: point of correction dBard...a man doesn't own a girl unless he's married to her. You men like deluding urself with the idea that just coz she's dating u then she's ur property.

uj_sizzle: Laberry sometyms u dey talk like say no be naija u dey.

How many guys are ready to marry a girl that's up to 30yrs?
Putting her life in order is not a bad thing abeg n doesn't make her desperate. It's with d same tenacity u seek admission,jobs,girlfriends that u seek a life partner..so why is it suddenly called desperation n termed bad all of a sudden?

We need to broaden our horizon in this country n start thinking outside this self-imposed box we've caged ourselves in.

kitty kat:
Since she has seen a ready man or men, why force her to remain with the poor guy and kip mountin more pressure on him.

carefreewannabe:

you're very optimistic and you have got a good attitude. keep it up. especially when times are hard. I wish you all the best. May you find the best husband ever. and eork out a perfectly happy marriage. you have a lot of positive energy. don't let anybody or anything take it away from you.

dBard:


comprehension girl. read d post again

uj_sizzle: I'm surprised u homed in on the 30yrs thingy and yet have deliberately chose to ignore every other question posed to u guys. That's very hyporitical n funny in my opinion.


OP the best thing u can do for urself is to get rid of every roadblock abi obstacle stopping u frm reaching ur goal ie get rid of ur current if he insists u've got to stay wit him n not see other men period.

Laberry no one has asked her to jump into marriage,we've only said she shld explore her options n decide which is most suitable. There is a lot mor to marriage than love.so love is a mute point and if ur ex is still coming back to u after marriage theen she must have bubbles for brains.

laberry101:

Daim., woman did she sAy the guy was poor? Or are you concluding that on your own ?

If yes! How can he now do those things that she actually acknowledge in her poster!
Women ! How do you guys see this thing called marriage?

Na say time no dey female side, find one man hook or na say you love am and you are too damn sure you would be happy spending the rest of your God given life with him?

Don't know about you though but I think we are all entitled to our very own opinions ... So .... Whatever it is , stay positive And be happy!

uj_sizzle: And u're basing all what u've just said on the assumption that he's got good intentions for her, that he plans on marrying her. So what if he doesn't?? All we've said is just to put on the safer side so she-s got minimal loss. All u've succeeded in doing is put her on a side u aint even sure of the outcome. You can't judge a man's intentions or thoughts by what u'd feel if u were in this situation woth ur babe. If he had put her mind at ease and explained all these i doubt she'll be needing advise from us.

kitty kat:

We told her compare and contrast. Moreover she didn't say she was jumpin in. Free her joor.


By the way who said that marriage of 2weeks courtship is less successful than that of 5yrs courtship. I keep saying my mama and papa met only twice and in public places before legalzing there uniOn. Yet dy didn't divorce or cheat on themselves. There is really no hard and fast rule in dis things. Its about d ppl involved.

uj_sizzle: Would it be nice to also say my older brother is laffing at all these guys here. In his words 'if u won't be ready to marry a girl when the time comes, then u shld be ready to let go of her n let her meet men who have better things to offer her...don't confuse having a relationship wiith her for being married to her'.
I just pray for ur sake that ur lil sis never faces this kinda situation.

kitty kat: Who said its wrong to date 2 guys at d same time. Pls give both of them audience. Compare and contrast and then choose. A woman shd be courted by many men out of which she chooses the one ready to setttle down.

kittykat1:

She is confused because d man no 1 is takin her for a ride. If he were serious, she won't be confused. And again re-read all posts. No one here is propsing that she shares d sanctity of her body. We advisin her as any good mother and friend would. Give other ppl a chance, since onboard bobo isn't sure yet.

kittykat1:
Some women are disciplined sir. Not everyone has a scratch in btw her legs when she is attracted to a man. I blv Op is not among those that get itchy easily. A woman must allow herslef to be wooed by many men, if she decides to become public spe-rm bank in d process.n that's her biz.

laberry101:

I remember telling you on one of our threads involving matters of the heart, that love doesn't exist anywhere around the boarders of the country's surrounding Nigeria, leg alone Nigeria herself!

How can somebody say all that stuff about her long relationship , her man doing things good or bad and still is confused between that same her man and some dude she just met and barely knows from a wedding she attended!

Would u now agree that ( some) Nigerian females are so desperate and eff'd up on this Love issue?

I most DIVINELY Hate this... With so much passion, NO offense young lady, you did well to seek this advice but the only thing I can tell you is do not be desperate for any reason, that new dude is good and obviously has a way with words and that's why you are confused, BUT...

Go to your God, he alone has the answer.

Goldieluks: I agree with kitty kat. OP date the new guy and see if he's got the potentials you need in a husband. Don't be desperate about marriage though, try to take things one step at a time. And as for your current bf, if you keep waiting for him hoping that one day he will take you to the altar, you might be sitting on a long thing.

carefreewannabe:

you will stay in a cage when you give in to the idea that a woman must marry before the age of 30 because guys say so (according to you)

and she is not desperate because she wishes to marry but she is desperate because she tries to put pressure on the guy because she wants to marry before she reaches a certain age. and that is not a good thing.

carefreewannabe:


you're right. you can start preparing but it's not like you can control it. sure, you can easily get a husband but it's hard to get a good one, the one that actually suits you, the one you want to grow old with, a good father ......................................

you people act as if one can control life but you don't even know tomorrow. so keep preparing but ask yourself why so many marriages are unhappy and / or end up in divorce. ONE of the reasons: women are to eager to marry quickly.

Youngpo413:



you get sense jare,infact you are unique....
Kudos!
Your husband must be a very happy man.

UjSizzle: If u read all posts carefully Laberry you'll see no one has asked her to jump into marriage. All we've said is she shld bid her time, explore her other options, dnt be blinded by emotions. Your heart shldnt do the thinking..that's meant for ur head.


That said i'm goin to bed. Good nyt