Redmosquito:
No vex! I still dey type am! E never complete wella
Happy new year baby geh and all my e-siblings and e-wives

Same to you too

Happy new year RED...

Hmmm... But its been a while back U̶̲̥̅̊ updated us..

Oh yes 2012... Abeg na 2013 we dey now oo

U̶̲̥̅̊ beta make us enjoy am for this public holiday today oo..

Warlord3000: Happy new year RED...

Hmmm... But its been a while back U̶̲̥̅̊ updated us..

Oh yes 2012... Abeg na 2013 we dey now oo

U̶̲̥̅̊ beta make us enjoy am for this public holiday today oo..

I could not agree more

Redmosquito:
I could not agree more

U knw na... I read ur thread last year

Redmosquito: Make una helep me manage this small New year Gift! I am already writing African Nerd update but I've been stuck in one scene for days now, I no sabi how for enter the next stage! May God helep me oooo!!

Excuses, more excuses

Happy new year from all of us at Olympus! Redmos, this is the year of new inspirations and faster updates.

Hmmm....

Red, happy new year bro.

But am waiting for my 2013 update.

After much troubles and delays here it is. Hope u like it!
*********************************************
"Offering time", the pastor rings out before descending the pulpit.
Haaa! Offering! This church collects offering every ten minutes. Sunday school offering, breakthrough offering, love offering, development offering, covenant offering, tithe offering, I have even heard of jet acquisition windfall.
The choir is already ready to move us to philanthropic mood with their murderous bloodthirsty angelic heavenly-blessed voice, and the ushers are already cleaning the tattered offering baskets ready to empty our already emptied wallets and purses.
The pastor's wife waddles to the pulpit like a tuber of yam. Well! She is round and rotund, if I may say, like a ball of semovita.
"Oya let us open to hymn fifteen teeree, een God ar trus ", she says in her thick yoruba accent, she fumbles with the hymn book for a while and then begins to sing, with the hymn book upside down.
The adults section doesnt seem to notice the parody, most of them even hold their hymn that way too. A few snickers escape the teenagers section and then the choir begins their heart-wrenching, lung-bursting music.
My eyes swell, my gums bleed, my eardrums split. Their voice was like the wailings of a million kirikiri prisoners. Damn! I never knew how gifted Tonto Dikeh was ooo!!
The ushers are already going about with the basket to collect the offering, but a particular babe catches my eye. I have never seen her in this church before, golden skin, beautiful wide eyes, moderate height, not so beautiful dentition, but I go manage.
I didnt plan on giving offering before, I was actually expecting the offering basket to be passed around by those mamas, but now that I see say na fine geh dey bring basket, I quickly pull out my wallet.
Chai! Bad news! I have only two notes in my wallet, one ten naira and one one thousand naira note. Bad Combo! I cant drop ten naira because of the babe and I damn hell cant drop one k. The girl don dey come towards me with the basket. Damn!
I quickly spread the one thousand wide for the babe to see say na one kay I dey hold, and then I drop it in the basket while holding back tears, the babe smiles at me as the one kay drops into the basket.
Hehn! Me? Drop one kay for girl wey no fine reach kim kardashian? Abeg e no fit do!
I rush after the one kay and pull it back in my tight fist. The girl opened her mouth in shock.
"See no just talk anything there ooo! Dont you know this is my future I am playing with? Abeg oo"
I can still see the vultures, their bald heads glowing in the afternoon sun. I can still see them circling, eighteen of them, bold and black like indian tea, dancing like smoke on flames.
Nobody notices them but me, no one needs to but me.
As I stare up at them a hand nugdes me in the ribs, it is my sister's touch.
"Hear what pastor is saying!"
I weakly look up the pastor, his boring sermon is almost done, the choir, the ones with the beautiful voice capable of killing the dead, the ones located beside the altar, more than half of the choir is asleep, the rest are getting ready to join their brethren in dream world.
"Before we say the final prayer, if you were born in the month of December stand up for prayer.", the pastor calls to the tortured-into-sleep congregation.
I slump deeper into the seat, my breath hot with fatigue. My sister slaps my arm
"Are you not born in December?", she says rashly
She and her mother are the same thing, wahala upon wahala, so wetin come consign u if dem born me for december?
"Are you not in the choir? Are you not supposed to be up there with the sleepers unit?", I retort
"Is that your business? Stand up jare!"
Sho! See this small girl ooo! I for don sama am knock for there but we were already attracting stares from the pulpit. The pastor passes one glance at me, I can see eyes turn toward me beneath the glasses. I quickly stand up before I carry wahala for head.
"Now you all should come to the front of the altar for prayer!", the pastor commands
Hmmmmm! I have never really thought of it. So my eighteenth birthday is three days from now, I never noticed. Most times it is my family that reminds me of my birthday.
As we kneel before the pastor and congregation and endure the barrage of saliva and prayer being meted upon us, I feel something curl up on my lower leg. I feel hard Hot scales tear through my jeans and puncture my skin.
I quickly open my eyes to see a big black python coiled around my leg. But I do not fear it, for I know it is a servant of Hades. I scan the whole congregation, everyone’s' eyes is closed in deep prayer, that is strange. In my church at least two people will open their eyes during prayer, maybe they want to see God passing or they want to steal, I never know.
I rise quietly from my position in front of the altar, still nobody notices or sees me.
Hissss!
The cobra coils tighter about my calf, already bloodied by now and turns its fanged face to the surrounding bush. It wants me to go in there.
I take a step toward the giant grass and then another. Still nobody notices, and I take yet another, the pastor and the whole church is engraved in prayer. And then I bolt quietly, on tip toes, to the bush, for it calls to me.

Baddest guy ... Loving this piece

[b][/b]Omo mehn...this story na story oh.
Abeg make una helep me give Redmos 50 thumbs up!

i wish u fit just write this thing for book make i go buy am sharply n wats happening ur update re not often like before .

That python no de fear Good face abi?
Abi na play the pastor and im de play for there?
You sef, something follow de worry you for had sha.
Ride on, you are making sense

dubem3: That python no de fear Good face abi?
Abi na play the pastor and im de play for there?
You sef, something follow de worry you for had sha.
Ride on, you are making sense

redmoss for kuku breath on am

Happy new year Moss. Abeg complete this wicked story naw...make I fit take back my life

Loving this but the stuff remains that I'm browsing in an internet cafe with an old version windows.... Kai... So windows 99 still dey exist??

D red. I hail oo. Thumbs up my guy. Didn't know it would be possible for someone to hold me hostage online; always ckecking for an update every one hour.

Redmoss cum here and finish dis story b4 i vex kidnap ur lappy and phone ***loading ma hunter gun***

Hmmmmmmm,REDmossKEEto,u 2 much,u 4 much sef,i read d whole 18 pages in just 1 and d half days. Oboy u funny wella, but green breath i don breath on d python,since im no dey dear face. But hades don engross all of una congregation 4 prayer o.

Redmosquito: This na new year na! Visitors are coming from everywhere, all four cardinal points, even abroad! I no fit put head for papre again! I go try later sha! Abeg!

Na me know you well... Anyway... Make I come dey prepare jor cos my writing dey com back in its ernest. Chei... See me see punny...

Ehm... Moderator... How e dey be na, we no even see your breaklight since this tale start, you fit help us move am front page again to gather support...

Biko, my dear Cuddlemii

*wipes off sweat* that was captivating. Please make sure this comes out in book form at the end.

purpinkx: redmoss for kuku breath on am

Se?
That's true

Red-Moss

How u dey?

Redmosquito:
ermmmm...I'm fine. I wanted to post today but ermmmm....no ermmm....inspiration

Red-Moss

Stop ham now, na when u wan make we wait reach?? Till eternity? Make I no go wake Thatanos for you oo.

Redmosquito:
**Runs to baba for more medicine**

*Waiting patiently with Thatanos and Minion*

Still waiting..........