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African Nerd - Literature (2) - Nairaland

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Mosquito Palaver (legend Of The Nerd) (1) (2) (3) (4)

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Re: African Nerd by Udee1(f): 9:15am On Nov 26, 2012
This Ayomide guy get liver o. It still amazes me that after each contact with d supernatural, he just calmly goes and surfs d net. I no go even fit think straight grin
Re: African Nerd by micki83(m): 11:01am On Nov 26, 2012
LMAO! Who shuld we really feel sorry for: jill,or d toxic-breath("haaaa"wink dude?
Re: African Nerd by Santi222(m): 2:31pm On Nov 26, 2012
Dis guy don play enuf God of War.. Nice concept including ur self in d eternal struggle between light and Darkness. Nice creativity.

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Re: African Nerd by Redmosquito(m): 3:19pm On Nov 26, 2012
The bathroom sink is brown. It’s been a long time I stood at the sink. The only thing I do at the sink is brush my teeth. It’s been a long time I brushed.
Stupid mutt. Now I am forced to brush. Crazy dog. Sick b!tch. Well, I am right. She is a b!tch.
As I move the hard bristles over my dentition, up and down, right and left, enough to cleanse me of canine saliva. I discover two things.
Firstly, I think I just had my first kiss. From a damn dog. What the hell?! This dog just robbed me of my lip virginity. I feel r@p£d, molested.
“As if you ever had hope of ever getting a first kiss sef!”, I tell myself “ You should thank her sef, now you won’t have to die without having a first kiss”
“What? I must be sick to even think that”, I rebuke myself, or let me say my bad-minded inner self.
Secondly, I discover that something in this bathroom has been smelling really bad since I started brushing. Like a decaying animal. The paste foam is already filling up my mouth. The smell is getting stronger. I spit out the mouth foam.
Oh Jesus! The foam that is supposed to come out white, at worst brown, came out of my mouth green. Green as Indian tea. In the pungent waste I see one bean, two rice grains, an okra seed, something that is wriggling, my mouth is like a treasure chest, look well enough and you will discover something new. Did I also mention that the odour I had been perceiving was from my mouth? How will my teeth ever be white? I need help. No! I need a girlfriend.
I go back to the mattress. An introvert like me is content with his little space. The world is too cruel and large. In the midst of your fellows, you must be well-behaved, well-dressed, clean, verbally smooth, and so on and so forth.
Why? Why can’t we just be our stinking, normal, crazy selves. Why must we put on false appearance, fake personalities, pseudonymic presentations and the likes? Why must we bind ourselves by the chains of pride and esteem? I prefer to be myself. My dirty, stammering, boxer-wearing self. The outside world is just a fallacious facet. I like my sincere space. I like freedom.
Peem! Peem!! Peem!!!
The okada man is here. It is already afternoon? So soon!? My siblings are home. I look through the window to see them come through the gate. I see a thin long girl, followed by a not-so-tall big-headed boy. Yep! Those are them.
I can hear them arguing in the distance.
The girl says” Why are you always fighting? Has mummy not warned you?”
The boy, “Lee me alone joorh!”
The boy rushes in first, “Is there food in the house?”
He turns to question me this time as I walk out of my room, “Is there food in the house?”
I give him the I-will-kill-now look.
“Why are you always angry eee?”
I give him the look once more. He quickly respects himself.
My sister now comes in. I am in the sitting room now. She sways as she walks, left and right she goes, the weight of her big bag pendulates her about.
She quickly drops the bag on entering the sitting room now. I prepare myself for her agonizing jists .
“Ayomide, do you know what Gbenga did in school today? “
She cannot even greet. She her head like.. like….like something big and funny.
“Oya! What did he do?” I ask
“He fought a girl”, she replies
“He fought a girl?” I angrily shout
“Yes! And the girl beat him well well”
“The girl beat him!?” I say in shock “ Hahahahahahaha!!!”
My anger has turned to cold mirth. This stupid boy likes to fight. And he is a very good fighter, although I strongly discourage him. But for him to be put down by a girl. Chai! Laugh wan kill me
“Shuttup jare!!!” Gbenga quickly rushes to his defence, ”You will be saying rubbish there”
“Gbenga! A girl beat you?” I ask again before falling into another frenzy of laughter
“If you see how she slapped him” , my amebo sister quickly adds
“Shuttup jhorr!” , my brother spits outs, his eyes already bulging with anger “You were not even there!”
“But they told me”, my sister replies
“Oya! what happened?”, I ask, after that my risibilities have died down
“See what happened oooo!!” he begins his explanation while I listen as if it will change a thing, “The girl…..

1 Like

Re: African Nerd by FoxyRebirth(m): 3:26pm On Nov 26, 2012
I beg you... cunt-i-nue grin grin grin
Re: African Nerd by FoxyRebirth(m): 3:27pm On Nov 26, 2012
Foxy_Rebirth: I beg you... cunt-i-nue grin grin grin

Mods and their spam-bot... Lol... Oya, come continue cheesy cheesy cheesy
Re: African Nerd by Redmosquito(m): 11:42pm On Nov 27, 2012
“My day has been unusually interesting”, I tell myself, as I lay in dark room. The generator has been put off, we wont have light for the next 2 days because our electricity supply is rationed. And everyone has retired to bed for the night.
So I am now a fighter in the war for my world. For the whole universe! Oooh! I am getting giddy already. Imagining myself saving the world. Kissing a damsel in distress. Woah! This will be interesting.
In the blackness of the room, I do not see, but I hear a sound, somewhat like the beating of big wings. I quickly grab my flashlight and flick it on. The insect flies over my head this time. I quickly duck. It rests on the wall.
A big cockroach. How will I kill this damn thing now?! I can’t leave it alive! And I cant kill it on the wall. The mess will be too much. I look around. I notice my brother’s socks, lying idly on the floor.
An idea immediately comes to mind. I rush to grab the socks, the once white socks is now black. You would never know it was once white. I move the smelly piece of filth towards the cockroach. And then I wave it, once then twice. The cockroach immediately goes numb, it falls to the ground. I still wave the dirty socks over it. The cockroach twitches and scrambles around, but the poisonous fumes from the socks seemed to have overwhelmed it. I drop a sock on the struggling cockroach and it goes quiet at once.
” My brother’s socks have done me proud!”, I say as I look over to my brother, twisting and turning in his sleep.
And slowly the dead cockroach swells, morphing into something, no someone. I attempt to scream but my voice fails me. I just look at it in horror as it takes up a grotesque form.
“Look away”, a voice I identify as Minion’s warns
“Look away you fool”, he urgently adds, I do not see him. I only hear him.
But I am fixated on this unchanging horror, my gaze unmoved
Re: African Nerd by Redmosquito(m): 10:46pm On Nov 28, 2012
Are you guys feeling the story or I should quit? I don lose hope embarassed
Re: African Nerd by purpinkx: 11:33pm On Nov 28, 2012
Am xo loving it
Re: African Nerd by FoxyRebirth(m): 9:04am On Nov 29, 2012
Redmosquito: Are you guys feeling the story or I should quit? I don lose hope embarassed

Come... I am feelin this na.... Dont quit ooo
Re: African Nerd by Veev101: 9:06am On Nov 29, 2012
Pls ooo,dnt try it,dnt even think of quitting o,ah ah,i'm over feeling it sef kiss
Re: African Nerd by movmentish(m): 10:35am On Nov 29, 2012
Redmosquito you were posting ur stuffs so fast that we decided to let you finish before we start commenting,but now that you've taught us a lesson please continue the story and if you are experiencing a writers block I heard weed helps
Re: African Nerd by Redmosquito(m): 1:26pm On Nov 29, 2012
But I am fixated on this unchanging horror, my gaze unmoved.
The horror mutated before my very eyes. It was a woman, black and nude, folded up, her head between her legs.
“Only beings of stone know my face”, she said.
As she uttered those words, I saw her hair grow out. They were not hair, they were huge black snakes, slithering and curling up all over the floor. Their forked tongues giving way to white long fangs. A bite from any one of these reptiles and I will never taste Garri again.
As she raises her face, I gain myself, quickly turning my face towards the mirror, away from her. As she rises, I see her true form in the reflection of the glass. She was tall and elegant, she was beautiful and terrible all the same. Her eyes were green, her lips black, her face thin and dark, but yet she was beautiful and still terrible. Her eyes were white, like those of the dead filled with anger and pain. The snakes atop her head were alive, thousands no! millions of them hissing about.
“Is this the Hero of the underworld? Are you the puny one that holds the balance of our realm?! Why do you turn your gaze?! Has Mighty Hades not blessed you with enough power to behold my gaze? Answer me!”, she screams out in evident anger.
I am scared. I shake and tremble. She is the one they call Medusa. The one with the gaze of stone. with the She hisses about.
“You are a weakling! Nothing more than a pile of bones and flesh! I shall grind you to dust, right after I turn you to rock!” she is literally foaming at the mouth with anger
I see her, she reaches to get a hold of me. She wishes to look into my eyes. She wishes to turn me to stone. I see her reflection in the glass. I am too scared to move. I just stand there rooted to the spot.
When suddenly, I hear a voice I am way too glad to hear.
“ A pile of bones and flesh, huh?! You forget that you were once mortal!”, Minion says, I turn to see him standing beside me. He is wearing a singlet, with a wrapper tied at his waist. Some neckbeads around his black neck.
But what stood out in his form was the huge Axe he was pointing at Medusa. She, on seeing this Black, rugged-looking, double-headed axe, let off one more terrible hiss.
“You know your gaze is simple peek. You have no power over the godling of Hades.”
“ So it may seem. But I do not seek your fight. I only seek to cleanse the underworld of unworthy ones”, she replies
“You have no right. Hades has chosen him to stand with the darkness. You have no say in this. Be gone with your jealousy, you envious abomination”
Wait a minute! Me! Stand with the darkness!? Haven’t I told this dude I am a servant of life.
“ You waste all your might to protect him?! Great warrior, Don’t you see? He shames us. The underworld has never required the services of a mortal, that is left to the fragile gods of Olympus.”, she says “We can do this on our own. We have enough warriors, we have enough dark soldiers. We can save the underworld alone. We don’t need a mud-blood to save us”
“No creature, mortal or Gorgon shall defy Hades”, Minion spits back in utter disgust
She pauses a while, she expected him to refuse her advice. She stares into his eyes hard and long, perhaps still wishing she can turn him to stone.
“Very well, Dark Knight. But know this, my sisters are watching. I am watching. All Dark creatures watch, ready to tear down this shameful mortal . For we shall not be shamed. Olympus is the land of mortal glory, we are denizens of death”, and with those words she shimmers away, gone into the night.
Okay! Now at this point, I have to tell you about a bit of me. I hate threats, I hate threats with a passion. But this was no threat. I heard those words of Medusa and I knew they were no threats. They were hard and bitter promises, sure to come to pass, one way or another . I do not fear. No! There is no use fearing what will surely come to pass. I only worry, for my lfe has been cut so short so fast.
Minion turns to me, “You must train. You must be made strong. Come! Come with me.”
“Forget it! Of what use is it?! I am enemy to all, both the underworld and the enemy of the underworld. What place shall I stand?! I am lost in it all. Free me of your troubles. I have had enough”, I cry
“ You must not tarry! Come with me! There is no place for weakness! Stop being selfish, this is not only about you. You fight for your family too. You fight for your world. You fight for your destiny”
Re: African Nerd by micki83(m): 1:59pm On Nov 29, 2012
Redmosquito: Are you guys feeling the story or I should quit? I don lose hope embarassed
Quit what? Don't u dare try it o! I'm waiting eagerly...
Re: African Nerd by FoxyRebirth(m): 2:41pm On Nov 29, 2012
cOME AND Continue
Re: African Nerd by Ice4jez(m): 2:57pm On Nov 29, 2012
guy its only u dat us impressing me cos u dey always update .five tumbo for u
Re: African Nerd by Udee1(f): 10:50am On Nov 30, 2012
Loving the story! LOL @ the bug-killing fumes from socks.
Re: African Nerd by Mobsync(m): 12:30pm On Nov 30, 2012
Dart! This's interesting. Never thought it would be when I began reading it...thumbs up#
Re: African Nerd by Mobsync(m): 12:36pm On Nov 30, 2012
Love the minions and hates.
Re: African Nerd by TouchDown: 6:31am On Dec 01, 2012
Good job Red!
Re: African Nerd by Redmosquito(m): 9:04am On Dec 01, 2012
I would have updated since, but this wooing contest dey worry my head. I will update as soon as possible
Re: African Nerd by Ice4jez(m): 10:03am On Dec 01, 2012
redmosqito if i slap u ur head way correct go over correct.who give u permission to go dey woo when every time i log in na ur write up i dey first check.jor oh i no fit south
Re: African Nerd by Redmosquito(m): 10:40am On Dec 01, 2012
Ice4jez: redmosqito who give u permission to go dey woo
na u i dey find for there ooo!
Re: African Nerd by Redmosquito(m): 10:45am On Dec 01, 2012
Ice4jez: redmosqito who give u permission to go dey woo
Man shall not live by book alone.
I have to secure my marital future

1 Like

Re: African Nerd by movmentish(m): 2:06pm On Dec 01, 2012
Redmosquito I no go lie you aswear you beginning to piss me off,why will u start sumfin u can't finish,may hades deprive u of your wooing abilities since that's what's kipn u away
Re: African Nerd by Redmosquito(m): 4:02pm On Dec 01, 2012
movmentish: Redmosquito I no go lie you aswear you beginning to piss me off,why will u start sumfin u can't finish,may hades deprive u of your wooing abilities since that's what's kipn u away
Oya no vex. By 7pm I would have posted the update. May Hades bless us both
Re: African Nerd by Redmosquito(m): 7:08pm On Dec 01, 2012
“ You must not tarry! Come with me! There is no place for weakness! Stop being selfish, this is not only about you. You fight for your family too. You fight for your world. You fight for your destiny”
He spoke words of truth, I cannot deny that the world is in danger. Medusa’s visit is more evidence of that.
And with that thought in mind, I hold his open beseeching hands, he hides his left hand as he fumbles something and we are gone in a flash.
“Where are we?!” , I whisper to minion
“We are in the dark halls, the record chambers of the underworld”, he replies
The air is dry and dusty. There is little light. Only the few sticks of candle around illuminate this huge hall. There are huge rows of bookshelves, high and mighty, as tall as skyscrapers.
“wait here” He says
I wait for him in this dark corridor of this mighty Book-room.
As soon as Minion is out of sight, I see a strange burning figure approaching from the darkness. No! They are more than one. I see strange figures. Man at the top, horse from the belly downwards.
Centaurs!? One quickly gallops up to me, ahead of its mates. It was large and tall. High and mighty. But it was on fire. They were all on fire. But they didn’t seem to feel the heat, it was as though the fire was bonded to them, a natural part of them.
The one that came towards me was taller than the rest. It was 9 feet tall, unlike its 8 foot tall brethrens. It burned with a distinctive white flame, unlike the red flames of the others. It had the face of an old but mighty man. His eyes burned in white conflagration, his beards were nothing but a bundle of fire, his hair was a rising pillar of white flare.
He was a foot away from me, but I still felt the roasting heat of his blaze. I was amazed by these beautiful creatures. These beautiful creatures of the dark underworld. I almost didn’t notice! I almost didn’t notice he pulled out his club, I quickly take some steps back, wondering where the hell Minion has taken off to. Perhaps he is another angry denizen of hell is to get me.
“Are you the saviour of our world?”, he asked.
As he spoke, more white flames bellowed out of his mouth and nose.
I do not answer him. That club is one big mother**cker. I better keep quiet, or perhaps stall long enough for Minion to rescue me.
“Unworthy one!!!”, he angrily shouts, “You disgrace us”
And with those words, he swung at me with his club.
I shudder as I feel the impact of Hadenine club against my mere human bones
Re: African Nerd by movmentish(m): 7:18pm On Dec 01, 2012
Oboy see gbege oh!!!
Redmosquito u r a honest mortal.....ur rewards shall not be in the underworld

1 Like

Re: African Nerd by movmentish(m): 5:29pm On Dec 02, 2012
Cmon dude you really are not going to make me beg again
Re: African Nerd by Redmosquito(m): 6:49pm On Dec 02, 2012
I shudder as I feel the impact of Hadenine club against my mere human bones.
I raised my arm to parry the blow from my face. After the dust had settled and all the TRABOOM! had echoed away. The beast and I are astounded by what we see.
I am unscathed, unharmed, my arm still hangs in the air. But the club, the club made from black metal of the underworld, was crumbled. It had disintegrated on impact. Only a battered little fragment of the once great club remains in the centaurs’ hand.
I do not waste time to ponder how I have withstood this attack. I do not wonder how I could withstand the battering of an Hadenine club.
I know that I am in danger. My survival instincts come alive . The white creature is still in awe. This is my chance, and I must take it.
I draw back my right arm, I pull down my shoulders. I lean to my right and I run towards the beast. I am almost scorched by his flames, but I endure just long enough. I lean forward, and then with the explosive force of five hundred horse power , I release the tension in my shoulders, pushing my fist upward in the process. He sees the balled fist coming, he raises his hands in what seems to be gesture of plea. But it is already too late, this blow cannot be stopped even if I want to.
It lands just below his chin, right beneath the ring of his fiery beards.
With that blast of a Boko-Haram suicide bomb, I send him somersaulting 50 ft into the air. He tumbles mid-air and lands with a great thud, 40 ft away. I look at my fist in apparent awe, more surprised now than before. The white centaurs’ flames are already dimmed. He lies on the ground in pain, now surrounded by his red-fired brethrens.
Something much worse has awoken within me. I feel strong, very strong, too strong . The way I felt when Jargon attacked me. I feel the power surging in my veins. I feel the strength of ten worlds in my grasp. I enjoy this. I rush to deliver another beating. I am thirsty for more.
But one of the centaurs quickly blocks my paths. An stretched bow in his hands, directly aimed at me. He is young. Not older than me by more than a few years. I feel his youth and vigour.
I do not fear him. I do not fear the stringed weapon he bears. I feel powerful, too powerful. Surely, nothing can stop me. No creature can stand in my way. Not even their scorching skin can deter me. I maintain my course.
“No beast can withstand the venom of Cerberus!!!! Stand down!!!!”, the intruding centaur shouts
I smile. Puny horse-man! Soon he shall be dust beneath my feet
He lets go of his black arrow. I do not even flinch. Nothing can harm me!!
“Stop this!!!!”
Minion suddenly appears out of nowhere, his usual trick. He is between me and the approaching arrow , he does not see the arrow. I regain my right mind. I come to a sudden halt, almost tumbling as a result.
“Watch out!!”, I cry
Out of nowhere. Well! Out of minion’s butt actually, A tail appears. The prehensile appendage quickly takes a hold of the poison-headed projectile.
I never knew Minion had a tail. Now he looks like a complete MONKEY!!.
“Stop this madness!!!” he shouts once again
And then he looks me in the eye, with a strange look of power. A strange glitter of dark power in his dark cute eyes
“I know what you are thinking! I am no MONKEY!!”
Re: African Nerd by Mobsync(m): 9:05pm On Dec 02, 2012
Bring it on, enjoying it
Re: African Nerd by IZUKWU(m): 9:13pm On Dec 02, 2012
I am not a monkey. Lol. Mosquito, you are good . Very ingenious.

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