coogar:

how do you "force" someone to be an accomplice at 17?
christ - you guys should stop this feeble excuse - she was culpable! the op never mentioned the word "rapë"......this was purely consensual!

Impossible is nothing! You thinking it cant happen doesnt mean it cant (even the Wright brothers father said man can never fly in church on sunday and is sons made an airplane during the week) i suggest you talk to a 17 year old about this and see what she has tosay if she were in the girl's shoes, also remember i've been using words suggesting assumption, thats cause im not an eye witness, i'm just trying to be rational.

coogar:

do you know what it takes for a 17 yr old to UnCloth in the presence of her friends let alone do it in the presence of her uncle? she's 17 for crying out loud not 7......that area of our life is almost sacred...even a child of 7 knows that part of her body no one is supposed to have free access to and yet you guys are reeling baseless excuses here.....

Okay, so according to you, all humans of similar ages are developed at the same rate in every aspect of their lives. Got it.

forced = räped
to be cajoled is not rapê.....it's an offer that can be accepted or rejected - there's a choice!
she chose to accept and you are claiming she was räped?

Why did she chose to accept? Did she feel pressured to 'accept'? Did she feel cornered, did she feel her options were limited at that point? What methods of cajoling were used?

abiL:

Human character is NOT formed by the age of 7. I'm a psychologist, I should know.

What age do you suggest?

abiL:
Some people might be old but have the mental maturity of a 5 years old.

arghhhhhh - i even expect a 5-yr old to show some little resistance....

ileobatojo:
Okay, so according to you, all humans of similar ages are developed at the same rate in every aspect of their lives. Got it.

i believe so especially in the realms of self defence.....
this is the most basic of all wisdom. defend yourself, scream and draw attention if cornered.....

Why did she chose to accept? Did she feel pressured to 'accept'? Did she feel cornered, did she feel her options were limited at that point? What methods of cajoling were used?

she chose to accept because she's curious......
a budding teenager after reading all sorts of mills and boon and human biology - her hormones went haywire. she was cornered the first day, 2nd time and so on and forth for a period of 4 good years......she should be arrested!

If she was coerced or manipulated at 17,its understandable...
She was propably still feeble-minded at that age..
But what happened at 18? 19? 20? 21?
Not one,not two,not three,but FOUR YEARS!!
Haba!!
Was she in a kind of spiritual shackle(if that even exists??)
Was she mentally challenged??
If any of the above wasn't an issue,then she is guilty as hell...!
Morally bankrupt in that sense!!!

timifakay:
What age do you suggest?

There is no age. Development don't stop until death. The rate of it might decline or increase depending on age, individual differences etc.

For me to be able to understand you better, do you mean personality when you say character?

timifakay:

Impossible is nothing! You thinking it cant happen doesnt mean it cant (even the Wright brothers father said man can never fly in church on sunday and is sons made an airplane during the week) i suggest you talk to a 17 year old about this and see what she has tosay if she were in the girl's shoes, also remember i've been using words suggesting assumption, thats cause im not an eye witness, i'm just trying to be rational.

at 17, most girls i know would slap the uncle.....
uncle?? not just any random man - her uncleeeee? bloody hell, are we taking about ruminant animals here?

coogar:

arghhhhhh - i even expect a 5-yr old to show some little resistance....

I wasn't arguing against your point, I was just saying.

A girl of 17 should know better, but there are some people who haven't learnt or been taught better. She most definitely knew that the sèxual activity was wrong, but instead of bashing her, we need to try and understand why she chose to ignore that feeling and instead went ahead with committing inćest.

abiL:
I wasn't arguing against your point, I was just saying.

A girl of 17 should know better, but there are some people who haven't learnt or been taught better. She most definitely knew that the sèxual activity was wrong, but instead of bashing her, we need to try and understand why she chose to ignore her that feeling and instead went ahead with it committing incest.

it's not the having sëx that is the problem but having it with her uncle

coogar:

it's not the having sëx that is the problem but having it with her uncle

Yes I do know

&& I also would like to understand why she thinks its okay to sleep with her uncle. Something obviously went wrong somewhere.

Like I've said Coogar, I'm not arguing against your point of view.


I just like to look deeper into situations to get an understanding of why.

abiL:
Yes I do know

&& I also would like to understand why she thinks its okay to sleep with her uncle. Something obviously went wrong somewhere.

she was cornered according to ileobatojo....

abiL: Like I've said Coogar, I'm not arguing against your point of view.
I just like to look deeper into situations to get an understanding of why.

i do that all the time too but this one is inexcusable!

abiL:

There is no age. Development don't stop until death. The rate of it might decline or increase depending on age, individual differences etc.

For me to be able to understand you better, do you mean personality when you say character?

yea, i think so

coogar:

at 17, most girls i know would slap the uncle.....
uncle?? not just any random man - her uncleeeee? bloody hell, are we taking about ruminant animals here?

Impossible is nothing!

abiL:

Yes I do know

&& I also would like to understand why she thinks its okay to sleep with her uncle. Something obviously went wrong somewhere.

Exactly what I was saying here.

It seems nasty to the rest of us but we don't know what was going on in her mind and we don't know how she eventually came to rationalize that the relationship was okay in her mind.

coogar:

she was cornered according to ileobatojo....

Sure you can read? When did I say she was cornered the entire time?

coogar:

she was cornered according to ileobatojo....

i do that all the time too but this one is inexcusable!

I jumped into this convo without reading all the post. So if I may ask, what was she concerned about? (Can't be arśed to read all the posts )

@op, if i were u, i will take to my heels rather than throwing a pity party with her when in actual fact, she could have resisted d uncle's approach.
D lady in question is covetious(longthroat) in d sense dt, she was enjoying d reward d uncle was presenting to her, so she felt comfortable with d act, so dt she will continue enjoying d reward, she stopped because she had found an alternative provider, if for any reason, u become broke, financially, she will remember this her uncle who use to reward her financially better and may likely go back to him in order to get some huge financial reward again. She may just be telling u now, because she think u are filling d gap, but once d gap is not properly filled again, only GOD KNOWS WHAT WILL HAPPEN AGAIN, she knows what shes doing, shes a classical slut, she was 17 when she started and she did it for 4 yrs, haba, she knew what she was doing.
I go with coogar, pls

But d decision is yours.

timifakay:
yea, i think so

There's no correlation between personality and the act of incèst.

slimyem: If she was coerced or manipulated at 17,its understandable...
She was propably still feeble-minded at that age..
But what happened at 18? 19? 20? 21?
Not one,not two,not three,but FOUR YEARS!!
Haba!!
Was she in a kind of spiritual shackle(if that even exists??)
Was she mentally challenged??
If any of the above wasn't an issue,then she is guilty as hell...!
Morally bankrupt in that sense!!!

At the very least, she is weak in the mind. And/or she could have developed an unhealthy approach to relationships as a result of what happened to her. It may even be a coping mechanism!

ileobatojo:
Sure you can read? When did I say she was cornered the entire time?

then she's culpable if she wasn't cornered the entire period - isn't that what i have been saying all year?

abiL:
I jumped into this convo without reading all the post. So if I may ask, what was she concerned about? (Can't be arśed to read all the posts )

she, as in.....the op's girlfriend or ileobatojo?

abiL:

There's no correlation between personality and the act of incèst.

According to my dictionary, personality is (1) the quality or way of being of a person
(3) the complex characteristics that distinguish an individual or goup....
How does this not affect the reason the uncle and lady's commiting incest?

To add,

Even at 17years old, a person can still behave in ways that is considered abnormal.
She probably saw her uncle as the only option for her to get what she wants. But her case is just weird because most people that are abused at young ages gets away from their abuser from around age 15. However in her case, she's getting into it at a very late age, so I will not put all the blame on the uncle.
The uncle must have propositioned her, but she clearly knew what was going on and what she was getting into. He might have manipulated her to the point where she feels like she has no other option BUT I doubt it, because she won't keep going back to her uncle if she was sèxually abused against her will.


I would like to know about her family background OP! Like I've said, something obviously went wrong somewhere.

She's been living with them since she was 13, we don't know the circumstances from which she came from. We don't know how she was treated but if we were to guess, we would not doubt be close to the truth if we said it was probably drilled in her head every day how lucky she is that they took her in, how she should be grateful she is not back where she came from.

It won't be far fetched to assume she lived everyday with the threats of being sent back hanging over head. She learnt quickly she has no say in anything. . .heck, even children who are living with their own parents don't have a say not talk of some relative whom the family did a "huge favor" by having her live with them. She either does what she is told or. . .there is no or about it sef. She does what she is told and that's that . . and this is the girl we expect to say no to her uncle's lecherous advances??

Really?!!

While a debating for the sake of debating is fun, sometimes there are just issues that don't call for it. This girl may have been 17yrs old girl when the abuse (yes, abuse. . .I refuse to use the word affair to describe this insanity) but psychologically, she will always be that 13yrs old child who is never allowed to forget she is lucky to be where she is.

oh one more thing. . .10 abortions? Did I miss something? Where did 10 abortions come from?

Sisi_Kill: She's been living with them since she was 13, we don't know the circumstances from which she came from. We don't know how she was treated but if were to guess, we would not doubt be close to the truth if we said it was probably drilled in her head every day how lucky she is that they took her in, how she should be grateful she is not back where she came from.

It won't be far fetched to assume she had threats of being sent back hanging over head. She learnt quickly she has no in anything. . .heck, even children who are living with their own parents don't have a say not talk of some relative whom the family did a "huge favor" by having her live with them. She either does what she is told or. . .there is no or about it sef. She does what she is told and that's that . . and this is the girl we expect to say no to her uncle's lecherous advances??

Really?!!

While a debating for the sake of debating is fun, sometimes there are just issues that don't call for it. This girl may have been 17yrs old girl when the abuse (yes, abuse. . .I refuse to use the word affair to describe this insanity) but psychologically, she will always be that 13yrs old child who is never allowed to forget she is lucky to be where she is.

Thank you! The most powerful weapons of a child s.exual abuser are authority and secrecy!

If she was just such a calculating, sex starved, hormone ravaged, money grabbing, vixen of a hoe, I wonder why she would go ahead and broadcast her in.cest to the person who is about to marry her.

timifakay:
According to my dictionary, personality is (1) the quality or way of being of a person
(3) the complex characteristics that distinguish an individual or goup....
How does this not affect the reason the uncle and lady's commiting incest?

You tell me!

I'm telling you that there's no correlation or studies that I know of that have shown personality to be directly linked to the likelihood of incèst occurring.

coogar:

then she's culpable if she wasn't cornered the entire period - isn't that what i have been saying all year?



she, as in.....the op's girlfriend or ileobatojo?

You said that the op's gf was concerned according to ileobatajo

abiL: To add,
Even at 17years old, a person can still behave in ways that is considered abnormal.

She probably saw her uncle as the only option for her to get what she wants. But her case is just weird because most people that are abused at young ages gets away from their abuser from around age 15. However in her case, she's getting into it at a very late age, so I will not put all the blame on the uncle.

The uncle must have propositioned her, but she clearly knew what was going on and what she was getting into. He might have manipulated her to the point where she feels like she has no other option BUT I doubt it, because she won't keep going back to her uncle if she was sèxually abused against her will.

I would like to know about her family background OP! Like I've said, something obviously went wrong somewhere.

thank you very much....
@ 18, 19, 20 and 21?? she only stopped shaggïng this uncle this year when she met this dude.....and we are to believe she was only doing what she was being told? 20/21?? dearie me!

abiL:
You said that the op's gf was concerned according to ileobatajo

i said op's girlfriend was cornered not concerned....

ileobatojo:
Thank you! The most powerful weapons of a child s.exual abuser are authority and secrecy!

If she was just such a calculating, sex starved, hormone ravaged, money grabbing, vixen of a hoe, I wonder why she would go ahead and broadcast her in.cest to the person who is about to marry her.

why are you talking like you dunno the average naija babe - she must explain how she lost her virginity, isn't it?

greatgod2012: @op, if i were u, i will take to my heels rather than throwing a pity party with her when in actual fact, she could have resisted d uncle's approach.
D lady in question is covetious(longthroat) in d sense dt, she was enjoying d reward d uncle was presenting to her, so she felt comfortable with d act, so dt she will continue enjoying d reward, she stopped because she had found an alternative provider, if for any reason, u become broke, financially, she will remember this her uncle who use to reward her financially better and may likely go back to him in order to get some huge financial reward again. She may just be telling u now, because she think u are filling d gap, but once d gap is not properly filled again, only GOD KNOWS WHAT WILL HAPPEN AGAIN, she knows what shes doing, shes a classical slut, she was 17 when she started and she did it for 4 yrs, haba, she knew what she was doing.
I go with coogar, pls

But d decision is yours.

Wow! Just. . .Wow!

I am speechless!!

abiL: I need the OP to answer some questions!!

Exactly what I've been saying!

Wow, talk about TMI. I wonder what she expects to gain from this information. How old is she? Was she still having sex with the uncle while dating you? Is she marrying you because you will fill the sexual, emotional and financial void the uncle has been taking care of. A 17 year old falling for incest seems to me like a desperate, wide eyed person. A 17yr old is a child but not that young or innocent. I wouldn't agree to my brother marrying such a girl sorry. Too much uncertainty, and am not sure morally she is sound. You can do anything you like while you are single, but I draw the line at incest and sugar daddies. My brothers cannot bring home such a lady, lai lai.

coogar:

thank you very much....
@ 18, 19, 20 and 21?? she only stopped shaggïng this uncle this year when she met this dude.....and we are to believe she was only doing what she was being told? 20/21?? dearie me!

That's why I won't say that she's been abused.

You hear stories of bro and sis sleeping together, so this girl might just be séxually attracted to her uncle... Maybe that's her way of repaying him back. Who knows (but I do want to find out)

The girl needs help, and the uncle too.