It all depends on the individual. If you are willing to settle down with a single mum/dad. you can force a horse to the stream, but you cant force it to drink water.

pc guru:
i meant unfair about "double standards", if it were a guy with kids it would be expected for the lady not to make a fuss about it.

I do not understand, can a man force a woman to marry him without her consent? So what is the issue of "if it were a guy with kids, the lady is expected to understand". No one forces marriage, my female cousin was dating a guy with a kid and the whole family refused to accept him until they broke up.

Most people dont like baggage. You now have to deal with another guy in your marriage because there is a child involved. The guy may take your wife to court seeking custody after sometime. He may even want to make more trouble. I personally dont want that for myself.

And finally, I have seen cases where people have gone back to their former spouses. The fact that kids are involved means they will always have some contact with their exes, and things may develop again.

It's not about judging single mothers, I think the issue is that - Are you ready for the baggage that comes with it?

.

Mynd_44:
Why should it be so? I hate double standards in anything the same laws that applies to a man should apply to a woman

This is Nigeria ( the uncivilised empty giant of Africa). Nothing and no one is EQUAL in this society .

,

Nashville:

I do not understand, can a man force a woman to marry him without her consent? So what is the issue of "if it were a guy with kids, the lady is expected to understand". No one forces marriage, my female cousin was dating a guy with a kid and the whole family refused to accept him until they broke up.

Most people dont like baggage. You now have to deal with another guy in your marriage because there is a child involved. The guy may take your wife to court seeking custody after sometime. He may even want to make more trouble. I personally dont want that for myself.

And finally, I have seen cases where people have gone back to their former spouses. The fact that kids are involved means they will always have some contact with their exes, and things may develop again.

It's not about judging single mothers, I think the issue is that - Are you ready for the baggage that comes with it?

u do ave a superb strong point, its the baggage that's now the issue, and yes am afraid the aspect of going back to their partners or cheating with their ex, is very highly to happen, like I always women are highly unpredictable,as long as the ex is still in her life, its a danger sign.

Tenderly1: and many fall for bankers,doctors etc and they refuse to accept responsible because of one flimzy excuse.

Absolutely . Single mothers exist for various reasons. One and probably the most common reason is that the ladies choose to believe and a trust a man who now claims they are 'soiled' goods. There are many single fathers out there who don't even know they have an illegitimate child out there and they still see themselves as single which is sad.

If only ladies can let their NO mean NO, then this topic will not even feature on NL.

SELFWORTH:

This is Nigeria ( the uncivilised empty giant of Africa). Nothing and no one is EQUAL in this society .

this is sad

SELFWORTH:

Absolutely . Single mothers exist for various reasons. One and probably the most common reason is that the ladies choose to believe and a trust a man who now claims they are 'soiled' goods. There are many single fathers out there who don't even know they have an illegitimate child out there and they still see themselves as single which is sad.

What the fck is wrong with you?

Why are you talking about me?

Wetin consign you?

SELFWORTH:

Absolutely . Single mothers exist for various reasons. One and probably the most common reason is that the ladies choose to believe and a trust a man who now claims they are 'soiled' goods. There are many single fathers out there who don't even know they have an illegitimate child out there and they still see themselves as single which is sad.

If only ladies can let their NO mean NO, then this topic will not even feature on NL.

.... In addition, there are men ( from medical doctors to bus conductors) who impregnate women and abscond from responsibility under the guise of excuses . I bet they are the most vocal on this thread.

Either way, there is no fatherless child just absent and irresponsible fathers.

SELFWORTH:
.... In addition, there are those who impregnate women and abscond from responsibility under the guise of excuses . I bet they are the most vocal on this thread.

Either way, there is no fatherless child just absent and irresponsible fathers.

WETIN??

Na fight?

Why you dey attack me!

Look I dey warn you o. I dey provoke right now.

SAGirl: What a topic.

I am a single mother, and I really haven't experienced that sort of discrimination. Maybe its because i live in South Africa, not Nigeria.

I have not experienced that discrimination because my role as a mother is a part of me, there is no way you can know me and not know that I am a mother. So i guess the guys with such issues stay away from me from word Go so i never even get to know what they are thinking.

What I have experienced though, is that the discrimination comes more from other women than men. Mothers, sisters and aunties will not allow their sons to marry a woman with a child, if so it comes with great difficulty. That, I have experienced as I lost a man i loved very dearly that way. And i have heard other women, even my close friends, admit that they would not want their baby brothers to marry a woman with a child.

So ladies, lets stop blaming men for once. We are as much to blame for this culture of thinking a single mother is somewhat of lower worth.

This is true especially for the men still under their parents apron string. Even if you go ahead and marry, the women in his family including his mother will do any and EVERYTHING to break it up.

All the so called big men commenting on here will not fight for their love. Becos few people have ever experienced and understand what true love is. Nigeria is not an emotive society .

maygah: but unfortuniately in this part of the world , we are in a man's world. Sooo many fins a man wud do & get away with , but a woman wud dare nt do 1% of it , without ish.

Fortunately, in the western world the laws favour the women and women who are quick to complain about African laws and tradition might want to take advantage.

Pple will marry who they want to marry, period!!

A very interesting topic if u ask me.
Am not in support neither am i against it. But I'll like 2 ask d sistas dis question - If ur brother comes home and introduce a girl u knw very well that has/have a child/children as his fianceé, what will u ladies say? Believe me 80% of girls will be d first 2 crucify their own brother. They'll make statements like "of all the single ladies, it is dis one u see? Mtchew". Others will even go as far as sayin the girl has put jazz in their brothers food and he has eaten it. My point is: it is the same ladies out of jealousy n envy. Even we guys wouldn't mind in some cases but our sisters n mothers will call us all sorts of names.
I dare the sistas 2 prove me wrong.

Problems with single mothers is that most men hate to carry carry other person own load of responsibilities.
Tendency of the single Mother returning to her ex also make men to be weary of concret relationship

SELFWORTH:
All the so called big men commenting on here will not fight for their love. Becos few people have ever experienced and understand what true love is. Nigeria is not an emotive society .

true

AyaSammy:

Look at you, do know that for with every single mother there is also a single father, probably cos ur ladies were lucky geting rid of ur shit.

Then why dont you get the childs father to marry you?

You guys are so full of shyt. If you were living life the way God wanted you to you would not be having all these problems.

pleep: Then why dont you get the childs father to marry you?

You guys are so full of shyt. If you were living life the way God wanted you to you would not be having all these problems.

and how did God plan it exactly?

AyaSammy:

And who says that your socalld first child is truly ur first, after how many abortions, hissssssss

mondi_cheeks: so u wld rather sacrifice a whole life time of happiness wit a woman u love simply because u wld not be okay with what will happen on her child's wedding day (one day) wow...ur reasoning amazes me

My sister, no be fight o. OP asked a vital question and I gave answer from my perspective. But imagine you having a boy and at the point of marrying he brings a single parent, how will u feel?

Well, some single mothers, after making d mistake that made them single mothers, still fail to keep their y.ansh in 1 place. They meet men who are serious about settling down and still do tins anyhow. What do u expect such guys to do? Walk away of course.

mondi_cheeks: and how did God plan it exactly?

To live a Holy life and not sleep with every living thing under heaven so as not to defile yourself and be cast aside as a 'soiled good' by the same people who defiled you. Can it be sooooooooooooooo hard to respect yourself and say no to sex before marriage?

Is sex food?

veraponpo:

My sister, no be fight o. OP asked a vital question and I gave answer from my perspective. But imagine you having a boy and at the point of marrying he brings a single parent, how will u feel?

I won't have a problem with it at all. The woman will have to live wit his personality and not his background or past.

pleep: Then why dont you get the childs father to marry you?

You guys are so full of shyt. If you were living life the way God wanted you to you would not be having all these problems.

I CONCUR. Tell them the hard truth.

SELFWORTH:

To live a Holy life and not sleep with every living thing under heaven so as not to defile yourself and be cast aside as a 'soiled good' by the same people who defiled you. Can it be so hard to respect yourself and say no to sex before marriage?

so it's her fault that someone committed a sin with her. The guy goes free and the woman takes all the blame I don't remember the bible encouraging men to be irresponsible though

mondi_cheeks: so it's her fault that someone committed a sin with her. The guy goes free and the woman takes all the blame I don't remember the bible encouraging men to be irresponsible though

Please read my comments properly. Didn't say anything about blame. You did.

Women need to respect themselves too. How can men respect you if you dont respect yourselves?

mondi_cheeks: so it's her fault that someone committed a sin with her. The guy goes free and the woman takes all the blame I don't remember the bible encouraging men to be irresponsible though

The bible does not support any kind of evil or sin. Single mothers in our society are seen as soiled goods. Haven't you learnt anything from all the comments on this topic. Even if a woman is raped, the woman will end up with the bad name/image. Women need to wise up and stop playing games with their integrity too because they have more to loose.

SELFWORTH:

The bible does not support any kind of evil or sin. Single mothers in our society are seen as soiled goods. Haven't you learnt anything from all the comments on this topic. Even if a woman is raped, the woman will end up with the bad name/image. Women need to wise up and stop playing games with their integrity too because they have more to loose.

how old are you?

mondi_cheeks: so it's her fault that someone committed a sin with her. The guy goes free and the woman takes all the blame I don't remember the bible encouraging men to be irresponsible though

The man will answer for his own sins, just like the woman will. How is this unfair? If you are complaining that you have custody of your own children... you should have let the father keep them.

pleep: The man will answer for his own sins, just like the woman will. How is this unfair? If you are complaining that you have custody of your own children... you should have let the father keep them.

so a man has the right to judge a woman for her mistakes or something that happened to her that was beyond her control, but the same man can safely declare that only God can judge him

mondi_cheeks: how old are you?

Meaning ?

mondi_cheeks: so a man has the right to judge a woman for her mistakes or something that happened to her that was beyond her control, but the same man can safely declare that only God can judge him

poster @ mondi_cheeks please stop this nonsense.

Sleeping with a man in NOT beyond your control. You made a CHOICE to sleep with a man. You could have walked away but you did not, so you have to live with the consequences.

Leave God out of all these. God does not condone evil.

You create a mess for yourself , you have to live with the mess. If you choose to live outside His will and word, then what do you expect?