Thanks Nwando, CC and Jennykadry

The shocking part is actually the majority of the women who are supporting a man whipping another woman till she bled.

You see the thing with people, They dont have a problem with their husband beating up another woman(never mind his sister) but if the man beats them they would bring down the world

I have said it people only scream injustice when they are on the receiving end and never when they are dishing it out

I am curious to know how the elder sisters husband would act.

If ANY man beat my wife then that day we go enter the same trouser. if na woman to woman then its a case of two fighting.

But a man beat my sister or wife till she bled? Worst case report her to police, i would bail her and punish her appropriately

Like Yorubas would say "Mi o fi egba e le anybody lowo" i didnt put her cane in anybodys hand.

The_Matrix: wetin she fine go dia? busy body. After your broda marries, pls dont go and fight or quarrel with his wife. Mind yur husband and kids. Except she is a gbazaQUEEN. non..se.nse. If my elder sister comes to challenge my wife in my house, i'll walk her out of my house... That way she knows me and my wife are one and she can only advice and not enforce

Why dont you beat her like in the OP's case?

I got a question for the original poster tho. Is she his full sister? As in same mama same papa because there must be some deep seated hatred somewhere the kind that a polygamous background can cause

And for those saying she is interfering in the brother's family read the story well the original poster said the wife actually made disparaging remarks about her

With that being said the man is a disgrace! However what I don't get are the women supporting the guy! Are you ladies suggesting its ok for dudes to beat women up or that we can do it under certain circumstances so long as we are trying to protect the wife. Cos the day is coming that he would beat you for that secretary at work, that sexy housegirl you got to watch the kids. Its a chain reaction

Dayo Abeg oh, I don't support the Man beating His sister or any one else.
I only said women or anyone shouldn't initiate violence against another and we pull out the gender card without addressing the shameful behavior.
I remember a post by Dronel where a man beat up his brothers wife for correcting his niece it was the same "blood is thicker than water" arguement.
My own point was based on what the poster initially said about the Sister giving the first slap and despite being locked out staying to cause trouble despite further appeal from her brother.
My point will be the same, wife or sister, You don't go crazy and kicking off acts of violence then bring out the Gender card, simple.

I also gave an example of a lady who came here saying her husband was violent and we queried her further and she admitted she blocked him and he pushed her.
I don't support the actions of the husband, I condemn flogging or beating anyone, I just don't want the Gender card when the same woman didn't respect her gender and decided to bring violence and unleash on another family.

To be clear the brother was wrong, not because he beat a woman but because he neat a human being uncontrollably, the sister failed to respect her self and her gender too by leaving her house determined to harm another person even when the gates were closed and even with her brother intervention.

This is my submission, let no one put words in my mouth, don't go acting crazy and then start screaming woman woman when people react.
Women are genuiely being abused unprovoked and women who act like this make a mockery on the fight against abuse.

Your position is clear and acceptable to me

I asked a question no one answered, would we have the same outrage if it was the Mans brother who acted the same and was beaten?

Let me state clearly:
1. I dO NOT SUPPORT THE MANS ACTIONS
2. I DO NOT SUPPORT VIOLENCE AGAINST ANYONE
3. I DONOT SUPPORT ANYONE INITIATING VIOLENCE BECAUSE THEY ARE A CERTAIN GENDER and CAN PULL THE GENDER card

This is all I have said oh, Its not about Sister In law or anything else. You are angry,
When I am wrong I own my msitakes and apologise and learn, I will not go on and on to show I know it all, on this one I will condemn the violence but I will not support the Gender card, she didn't consider her Gender when she insisted on acting violently. That's all I am saying.
He shouldn't have beaten her or anyone else in that manner.

debrief08: Dayo Abeg oh, I don't support the Man beating His sister or any one else.
I only said women or anyone shouldn't initiate violence against another and we pull out the gender card without addressing the shameful behavior.
I remember a post by Dronel where a man beat up his brothers wife for correcting his niece it was the same "blood is thicker than water" arguement.
My own point was based on what the poster initially said about the Sister giving the first slap and despite being locked out staying to cause trouble despite further appeal from her brother.
My point will be the same, wife or sister, You don't go crazy and kicking off acts of violence then bring out the Gender card, simple.

I also gave an example of a lady who came here saying her husband was violent and we queried her further and she admitted she blocked him and he pushed her.
I don't support the actions of the husband, I condemn flogging or beating anyone, I just don't want the Gender card when the same woman didn't respect her gender and decided to bring violence and unleash on another family.

To be clear the brother was wrong, not because he beat a woman but because he neat a human being uncontrollably, the sister failed to respect her self and her gender too by leaving her house determined to harm another person even when the gates were closed and even with her brother intervention.

This is my submission, let no one put words in my mouth, don't go acting crazy and then start screaming woman woman when people react.
Women are genuiely being abused unprovoked and women who act like this make a mockery on the fight against abuse.

I'm with you on this.

.

debrief08: Dayo Abeg oh, I don't support the Man beating His sister or any one else.
I only said women or anyone shouldn't initiate violence against another and we pull out the gender card without addressing the shameful behavior.
I remember a post by Dronel where a man beat up his brothers wife for correcting his niece it was the same "blood is thicker than water" arguement.
My own point was based on what the poster initially said about the Sister giving the first slap and despite being locked out staying to cause trouble despite further appeal from her brother.
My point will be the same, wife or sister, You don't go crazy and kicking off acts of violence then bring out the Gender card, simple.

I also gave an example of a lady who came here saying her husband was violent and we queried her further and she admitted she blocked him and he pushed her.
I don't support the actions of the husband, I condemn flogging or beating anyone, I just don't want the Gender card when the same woman didn't respect her gender and decided to bring violence and unleash on another family.

To be clear the brother was wrong, not because he beat a woman but because he neat a human being uncontrollably, the sister failed to respect her self and her gender too by leaving her house determined to harm another person even when the gates were closed and even with her brother intervention.

This is my submission, let no one put words in my mouth, don't go acting crazy and then start screaming woman woman when people react.
Women are genuinely being abused unprovoked and women who act like this make a mockery on the fight against abuse.

Truer words have never been spoken...written!!!!

coogar:

he did well considering the circumstance.....
like your story revealed - he tried to settle with the sister, he told her not to enter the house but she insisted on making trouble. i think the sister deserved what she got. a man must protect his wife from any threat(foreign or local)!!!

SMFH for this comment! So you can have the audacity to raise your hands on your elder sister even when you find her in physical combat with your wife? Strange!

Okija_juju: [b]I can beat my elder sister, my younger sister, my elder brother, my younger brother, my mother & my father for my wife...

YES!!! I said it!!



The story painted by the op is rather sketchy for us to judge fairly. However, before the beatings, there would have been a series of events that normally would have spanned atleast several months if not years. I would have listened to all parties, formed an unbiased opinion and then made my decision..


My mother beat up her mother-in-law (My dads mum) in his presence o, way back in the early periods of their marriage. He didnt do a darn thing to my mum. He simply took my grandma to a hotel, paid her bills for the night and sent her back to her own husbands house and gave her a strict warning not to return until she learns to love and accept his wife (MY MUM).. Today, my mum and my grandmum are inseparable. Now nobody remembers when my grandmum went and brouht another girl as my fathers wife despite the fact that he was already married with a kid o!!


My point here is this.. When once I am married, I am married. Its my wife and I. NOBODY not my family members or her family members have the right to give her a hard time in my home except me. Not even our children.


I support what the man did. If his sister was being a rabied biitch, then he needed to put her down..
I

A married mans immediate family is his WIFE!!! [i/b]

I was wondering what kind of a man could beat up his mother.just discovered karma is at work in your family.if your mother could beat up her mother inlaw when she had the chance to, then i see no reason why you wont beat her mercilessly cos she must receive what she gave in hundred fold.its perfect she has sons that reason like her.

debrief08: Dayo Abeg oh, I don't support the Man beating His sister or any one else.
I only said women or anyone shouldn't initiate violence against another and we pull out the gender card without addressing the shameful behavior.
I remember a post by Dronel where a man beat up his brothers wife for correcting his niece it was the same "blood is thicker than water" arguement.
My own point was based on what the poster initially said about the Sister giving the first slap and despite being locked out staying to cause trouble despite further appeal from her brother.
My point will be the same, wife or sister, You don't go crazy and kicking off acts of violence then bring out the Gender card, simple.

I also gave an example of a lady who came here saying her husband was violent and we queried her further and she admitted she blocked him and he pushed her.
I don't support the actions of the husband, I condemn flogging or beating anyone, I just don't want the Gender card when the same woman didn't respect her gender and decided to bring violence and unleash on another family.

To be clear the brother was wrong, not because he beat a woman but because he neat a human being uncontrollably, the sister failed to respect her self and her gender too by leaving her house determined to harm another person even when the gates were closed and even with her brother intervention.

This is my submission, let no one put words in my mouth, don't go acting crazy and then start screaming woman woman when people react.
Women are genuiely being abused unprovoked and women who act like this make a mockery on the fight against abuse.

Exactly! You and I hold similar positions on this and we have been consistent with this stand on these boards over time. So people trying to scream hypocrisy probably have a problem with reading. There have been several threads where this issue was brought up including that controversial Jenny thread where we put the blame on a female poster for initiating the physical altercation so what are we talking about here?

If I beat my husband first, why would I be upset if he beat me back? I wouldnt even go and say it outside because i know the blame is on me! So just because I'm a woman and 'a man must never beat a woman', I have free rein to go around physically assaulting men?

ileobatojo:

Exactly! You and I hold similar positions on this and we have been consistent with this stand on these boards over time. So people trying to scream hypocrisy probably have a problem with reading. There have been several threads where this issue was brought up including that controversial Jenny thread where we put the blame on a female poster for initiating the physical altercation so what are we talking about here?

If I beat my husband first, why would I be upset if he beat me back? I wouldnt even go and say it outside because i know the blame is on me! So just because I'm a woman and 'a man must never beat a woman', I have free rein to go around physically assaulting men?

Lolll, I know right.

Bless You Ile, I didn't want to drag it on and on yesterday because of what shame the thread turned into.

Is it only men who are violent? Should we keep quiet when women act shamefully and only shout when men do?
That is my point on this thread oh.

D_BestDoc: I was wondering what kind of a man could beat up his mother.just discovered karma is at work in your family.if your mother could beat up her mother inlaw when she had the chance to, then i see no reason why you wont beat her mercilessly cos she must receive what she gave in hundred fold.its perfect she has sons that reason like her.

How someone would cosign his mother getting beat up is beyond me. There are mothers and there are MOTHERS sha!
Lool if my wife as much as looks at my mother wrong na straight to her papa house

When I was in a violent relationship people asked me why I never hired thugs or got the Military part of my family to intervene?
My response haas always been the same " That is not me". Once I tried to fight back but again realised that violence was not me.

I stand my grounds at work, I stand my grounds in my interactions but hurting with words, actions or physically is not me.
Now that's me as a person and not me as a woman, I can be just as ausive or as violent as any man or any person.
We have spoken severally against emotional abuse against men talkless of physical abuse.

In this case is a woman who despite barriers was bent on being violent.
If it was a man who went to fight his in law and despite being locked out stays put, refuses to listen to his brothers plea, goes on to slap the brother and they fight, will we have this long debate?
Probably we would but the focus would be more on why fight your brother over a "common wife" than for the fight or beating.
When Dronel posted her about a brother in law beating his brothers wife some people were asking why the hsuband was restrained from fighting his brother. Dronels father even gave the verdict that "Nobody can come between his brothers, not even a wife" am sure the situation would have been the same if the Sister had succeeded in beating the wife, the same wife would be asked to beg and forgive or let by gones be by gones because she is only a wife.
Let us be clear when we say we stand against violence, Man oh, Woman oh, Violence especially when you believe the person you are being violent against is weaker than you is not something that should be promoted.

D_BestDoc: I was wondering what kind of a man could beat up his mother.just discovered karma is at work in your family.if your mother could beat up her mother inlaw when she had the chance to, then i see no reason why you wont beat her mercilessly cos she must receive what she gave in hundred fold.its perfect she has sons that reason like her.

I couldn't believe my eyes at those comments! The good thing is when he finally does, he won't be a bas.tard!

A-40:

How someone would cosign his mother getting beat up is beyond me. There are mothers and there are MOTHERS sha!
Lool if my wife as much as looks at my mother wrong na straight to her papa house

That is not a very politically correct statement.

@Thread, despite the sketchiness of the story, I hope the wife is not sleeping with both eyes closed sha. If she could allow her hubby to beat his sister blue-black, then she berra maintain her peace when he beats her over a concubine.

Such a shame that most women on this thread are saying that the elder sister deserved the brutality she got from her brother but they won't support the man if he did the same to his wife. Its a big shame.
This thread will be a reference

A real woman/wife that fully respects herself will not stoop so low to go to her brother's house to confront his wife.
That is just a 'market woman' behaviour and it's a complete turn off. Just shows she has no class.
If you go out of your way to go somewhere you are not welcomed, then you should be ready to face whatever comes your way.
She should have informed the brother about the situation and let him deal with it.

The brother should not have attacked his sister regardless but since the OP is claiming she made the first move, an instant reaction is not a total surprise.

I would have handled the situation in a different way regardless but I know my sisters pretty well...they cant behave like that.

naijababe:


That is not a very politically correct statement.

@Thread, despite the sketchiness of the story, I hope the wife is not sleeping with both eyes closed sha. If she could allow her hubby to beat his sister blue-black, then she berra maintain her peace when he beats her over a concubine.

Haha ok there was a tad bit of exaggeration there but the mutual respect has to be there tho. Mom has to see her as her daughter and daughter has to see her as her mom. I think the pedestal you put your mother or sister kinda sets the tone for how your wife would treat them. So if the man doesn't hold them in any esteem neither would the wife. Which is why I would blame the man,the wife and the elder sister based on the story the OP posted

A-40:
I got a question for the original poster tho. Is she his full sister? As in same mama same papa because there must be some deep seated hatred somewhere the kind that a polygamous background can cause

And for those saying she is interfering in the brother's family read the story well the original poster said the wife actually made disparaging remarks about her

With that being said the man is a disgrace! However what I don't get are the women supporting the guy! Are you ladies suggesting its ok for dudes to beat women up or that we can do it under certain circumstances so long as we are trying to protect the wife. Cos the day is coming that he would beat you for that secretary at work, that sexy housegirl you got to watch the kids. Its a chain reaction

It doesn't matter what transpired initially. There are certain ways to handle situations.
If she wanted to confront her about the issue she should not have gone to the brother's house.
A phone call would have been ideal afterall she only needed to TALK to her to confirm the 'he said/she said' remarks.
Going to confront her in her house can be seen as a threatening behaviour.
She could have handled it differently.

chamotex:

It doesn't matter what transpired initially. There are certain ways to handle situations.
If she wanted to confront her about the issue she should not have gone to the brother's house.
A phone call would have been ideal afterall she only needed to TALK to her to confirm the 'he said/she said' remarks.
Going to confront her in her house can be seen as a threatening behaviour.
She could have handled it differently.

I don't think anyone on this thread believes the sister was right to go and threaten the wife in her house but the wife comes out of this looking much worse by letting hubby assault his sister so badly. Would she have condoned the same degree of assault on her mother or sister?

chamotex:

It doesn't matter what transpired initially. There are certain ways to handle situations.
If she wanted to confront her about the issue she should not have gone to the brother's house.
A phone call would have been ideal afterall she only needed to TALK to her to confirm the 'he said/she said' remarks.
Going to confront her in her house can be seen as a threatening behaviour.
She could have handled it differently.

But we don't know for sure if the elder sister actually did that and was ignored. We can't rule out the possibility that the wife also provoked the sister's angry reaction by being more disrespectful on her arrival at their house
The mere fact that the wife didn't intervene in the melee when he started beating the sister tells me already that she must be a mischevious woman

naijababe:

I don't think anyone on this thread believes the sister was right to go and threaten the wife in her house but the wife comes out of this looking much worse by letting hubby assault his sister so badly. Would she have condoned the same degree of assault on her mother or sister?

The wife was already in a precarious situation regardless.
We do not know whether she tried to stop the husband or not...no one would know. It takes a matter of seconds for someone to be assaulted.
We can only go by what the OP stated.
I'm sure there are some missing elements in the whole she-bang that we don't know.
From the moment the sister slapped the brother...the sister/wife incident is thrown out of the window, its now a brother/sister matter which I don't think he handled correctly.

A-40:

But we don't know for sure if the elder sister actually did that and was ignored. We can't rule out the possibility that the wife also provoked the sister's angry reaction by being more disrespectful on her arrival at their house
The mere fact that the wife didn't intervene in the melee when he started beating the sister tells me already that she must be a mischevious woman

If she did that and was ignored...more reason why she shouldn't have gone there then cos obviously she should have known it was obvious things weren't cool. She should have talked to the brother about it and take it from there.
As yoruba people will say "ma koja aye ara e"

Whether the wife is mischievous or not is irrelevant. We can argue they are both mischievous with the roles they played.

chamotex:

If she did that and was ignored...more reason why she shouldn't have gone there then cos obviously she should have known it was obvious things weren't cool. She should have talked to the brother about it and take it from there.
As yoruba people will say "ma koja aye ara e"

Whether the wife is mischievous or not is irrelevant. We can argue they are both mischievous with the roles they played.

Its not everyone you insult and expect to have a coke and a smile and just shut up never mind an older person! A polite and sincere apology would have sent the woman back home
The man instead of playing peacemaker (a simple "honey come and apologize to my sister woulda sufficed" ) went into beast mode and brought out horsewhip to beat his sister! Well I don't blame the bully sha he probably knew he could get away with it that's why he carried out such savage act in the first place

A-40:

Its not everyone you insult and expect to have a coke and a smile and just shut up never mind an older person! A polite and sincere apology would have sent the woman back home
The man instead of playing peacemaker (a simple "honey come and apologize to my sister woulda sufficed" ) went into beast mode and brought out horsewhip to beat his sister! Well I don't blame the bully sha he probably knew he could get away with it that's why he carried out such savage act in the first place

Apologise about what? We don't know what actually happened that they had 'an exchange of words'
Didn't the OP say the man tried to make peace?

the sister came to their house with intention to fight with the wife over the nasty things she said about her

That says it all. All na self respect.
A grown matured woman should not stoop that low. Afterall she's the older person right?

chamotex:

Apologise about what? We don't know what actually happened that they had 'an exchange of words'
Didn't the OP say the man tried to make peace?

Read the full story. The wife said stuff that could harm the elder sister's marriage its not like the elder sister just saw the wife in her dreams and made a beeline to her house
The wife said stuff so she should be the one apologizing and trying to make peace! Judging by the story

Relax debrief and stop acting all defensive. The epistle and you posting more than necessary makes you feel unnecessarily guilty. Dayo, myself, CC or nwando have not cleared the woman. What she did is wrong wrong wrong, you don't go to people's house to harass them because you had an issue with someone that lives there. Hitting a woman let alone a married one is wrong.

I presented this case to my husband and the only thing he said was "why didn't the man ring the BIL to come take his mad wife home? If the man was at work he would have simply gone inside the house and left the mad woman outside".....

Some people are joyously giving the man a medal for defending and protecting his wife from his family. Two things would prick my brain if my husband has to protect me physically from my fellow woman:

1. My parents have failed me.

2. I have failed as a woman.

There is nothing to be proud of if I cannot physically protect myself from my fellow woman.

Worst off is the wife was busy inside crossing and uncrossing her legs whilst the husband was busy outside beating his sister. Let her not worry, very soon she will chop some of that koboko the day she pisses him off.

J12: Such a shame that most women on this thread are saying that the elder sister deserved the brutality she got from her brother but they won't support the man if he did the same to his wife. Its a big shame.
This thread will be a reference

Reference indeed. Let me catch any woman here that will bash a man for hitting a woman in this section of the forum.


This is the reason why I don't post much in this section. The things I have read especially from people I "respect" is .......I don't even know what to even add there sef

No one has the right to physically assault anyone not to talk of the extent of causing bodily harm regardless of gender.
It's not acceptable whether it's man on woman, woman on woman, woman on man or man on man.
Simple!

From my own point of view; I gathered from what Debrief posted; you don't pull the gender card for pity party to justify your act of violence ( against any gender)........regardless your age, position in a family , financial status or whatnot, you have NO right to bully anybody in their own HOME!

I honestly just read the koboko post and it was a total turnoff I must say..... Something must've been going on in that dysfunctional family before that ugly mess.... just doesn't sit well with me that everything was fine and dandy( btw siblings) before this episode ....