There is this girl that I.ve been dating for the past four years without any squabble. Last two months, we had fallout which lasted for one month. Since then we’ve been communicating well. Yesterday, she called me, with a very dull voice full of guilt. I tried to know what the problem was, all to no avail. After 30 minutes, she called back again without saying any reasonable thing. 10 minutes later she called again but couldn’t say anything. Later in the evening, she called again, for 12 minutes she kept on going around words, so I became very inquisitive. Thereafter, she confessed that a guy wooed her and she accepted. She apologized saying that she doesn’t know what came over her and how it all happened. Though I accepted the apology but I’m still very confused and skeptical. How could she have accepted if she really loves me? How do I know if the guy ended in wooing alone without visiting her coitus apparatus? What if she just told me 1% of the real gist? How do I measure her level of honesty as the last thing I want is to be played? Why did she stake the love edifice we jointly built and invested on for just a passerby? I’m really confused on action to take and it is seriously affecting the state of my mind.

I think i'm becomin more of an advocate for 'non exixstence' of the word, 'love'.
Pray for a decent girl, u dnt need love to be happy.
A decent girl will see dt as a no-no.
Love ko, love ni. Aint it jes a word of mouth in the first place?

lol @ reproduction apparatus!

emilyone: lol @ reproduction apparatus!

i know right? who says that?

Poster remember that no matter how tight you think your game is there is always someone with tighter game. Even when people are married they are still susceptible to being swept off their feet. You should find out more info about the full details of what happened and then decide.

Reproduction apparatus ! Reproduction apparatus !

Op u just have to forgive her and hold on to her tight.
Even if the guy slept with her,for her to have the compulsion to tell u,that means she is an honest babe.
I wish if am in her shoe I will be honest like her.

I fink u sud take ur tym nd decide wat u want 4 urself!Wat d lady did was quite bad,nobody is above mistake or doin finx out of confusion buh wat if she was married?Wil she fall victim 2 any "smooth tlker" dat coms her way?

These are all questions you should be asking her.

Sometimes when dating someone for a long period of time when you have disagreements or get hurt, it hurts more because you have known that person longer.

Op did u said 4yrs relationship?..that's why this virus steps in,just sit her down and have one on one chat with her..then from out come you ill know what next to do..Don't just throw her out b/c of braking down one commandement..

luvmijeje: Op u just have to forgive her and hold on to her tight.
Even if the guy slept with her,for her to have the compulsion to tell u,that means she is an honest babe.
I wish if am in her shoe I will be honest like her.

What is honesty to you? what does it mean? SMHRH

@honeric01 To me honesty is saying the truth knowing u ve alot to loose.
How many of us will say the truth knowing we have alot on the line to loose?

luvmijeje: @honeric01 To me honesty is saying the truth knowing u ve alot to loose.
How many of us will say the truth knowing we have alot on the line to loose?

There's nothing honest about lying to someone indirectly. she claimed she loved the guy, yet agreed to date another man, is that honesty to you? dating 2 men at the same time? they have been together for 4 years but she agreed to date someone within few weeks of meeting and you call that honesty?

Let me give you a tip of what honesty is, an honest lady wouldn't waste a man's time if she doesn't dig him again by telling him in person (sitting down and ironing it out), not by dating someone else and trying to indirectly break the union with such actions.

OP try and forgive her..
And also try as much as you can to get it off your mind.. Maybe by talking to her about it..
She told you because she loves you...

What is reproduction apparatus? Where can it be located?

some times some truth is left unsaid but u have to sit her down and iron out issues.
btw....u think u still love her?
it all lies in your hand.address it nicely but don't do sympathy relationship.good luck

If I may ask,why didn't u guys seek reconciliation and let ur quarrel drag on for a mth?Well d deed is done and u just av 2 forgive if u still want the relationship.

Guy...the guy perfomed some experiments with reproduction apparatus. He wore goggles though!

Guys can b very funny...sumtin like dis appened to me a long tym ago...I discovered my man was avin anoda affair nd I confronted him afta whc he confessed buh I felt very hurt nd stabbed...now, d ishu I had was trust...we kept gettin farther n fartther frm each oda by d day...cos I cud no longa confide in him...during d period, I met anoda young man who seemed very caring nd I actually developed feelings for him...nd dat worsened d situation btw masef n ma man...in d process, ma man nao got to kno bou d relationship nd he started throwin tantrums about...as much as I am not proud of wat I did den, d fact remains, I had neva done dat al tru d 4years of d relationship...buh a lizard wil always find its way tru a cracked wall...we shdn't allow misunderstandings nd quarrel get past it shd...we myt lose a lot dan we bargained for

honeric01:

There's nothing honest about lying to someone indirectly. she claimed she loved the guy, yet agreed to date another man, is that honesty to you? dating 2 men at the same time? they have been together for 4 years but she agreed to date someone within few weeks of meeting and you call that honesty?

Let me give you a tip of what honesty is, an honest lady wouldn't waste a man's time if she doesn't dig him again by telling him in person (sitting down and ironing it out), not by dating someone else and trying to indirectly break the union with such actions.

u don't get it... she slept with d guy, she just didn't know how to say it. u think d only tin she did wrong.was to accept anoda guy's hand.in friendship??

op, she had a fling wit another.guy and she tried to confess... why didn't u code wat she was trying to say?
its up to u to forgive her or not but personally i think she is brave and good and remorseful.. she has a lot to loose but still opened up to u. u should give her another chance if u can. mistakes happen....

I appreciate all ur nice contributions. Anyway, I think more facts still lie under d carpet cuz she is no longer free while talking to me. She will keep on saying "I hope u've genuinely forgiven me?" "are u still annoyed?" Even when I try to avoid the topic she will alwys refer 2 it. I guess she was swayed only 2 realise later what she'z abt loosing. I cnt pretend we r frnds anymore until I'm sure we really are.

@OP it is important that we conduct a structural audit of said reproduction apparatus for signs of wear and tear. This is a level-one Safety, Health and Environment (SHE) imperative.

.

gree-die:


u don't get it... she slept with d guy, she just didn't know how to say it. u think d only tin she did wrong.was to accept anoda guy's hand.in friendship??

op, she had a fling wit another.guy and she tried to confess... why didn't u code wat she was trying to say?
its up to u to forgive her or not but personally i think she is brave and good and remorseful.. she has a lot to loose but still opened up to u. u should give her another chance if u can. mistakes happen....

what is brave in telling him? do you think one way or the other, the guy wouldn't know? there's nothing hidden that won't come into light. being in a relationship and at the same time sleeping with other people's anything but honesty.

well then they know the kinda relationship they're into so let them enjoy their "relationship" and "honesty".

Honesty = trust

In this case

She can't be trusted and someone with trust issues can't be said to be honest.

,

@ poster!
She's a biatch!!
Dump her azz before you die before your time!!!
You've been warned!!!!

[quote author=Ijele-igbo]@ poster!
She's a biatch!!
Dump her azz before you die before your time!!!
You've been warned!!!![lol haba]

Lol..she hasn't even told u the truth and u're lik dis

lol @ reproduction apparatus.
For God's sake, why would you be avin a quarrel for a whole month I don't even get how pple do dt. If u know u'll still settle the issue eventually, why allow it to linger for 31 good days Lemme guess, u were waiting for the person that would give the first call! I'm nt rily sure of au d luv tin works but i don't think love alone hinders u from developing feelings for sum1 else. It takes a conscious effort to do dt, iguess... Nd since she wasn't exactly in a relationship at the moment, i rily don't think she can be blamed much...Just forgive her and don't ever ever go a whole month avin quarrel with someone u luv again. Just learn the lesson and move on. I think she's even kind enuf to open up to u nd abt d reproduction apparatus, just assume the worst nd forgive her. Hopefully, the worst didn't happen .

First of all I'm pretty sure you hvnt been honest yourself the whole four years. So therefore Karma is a ****. If you love her back . U will forgive and forget. So simple jor

Nawaoo!. You're probably one of the luckiest dude to have known at this point. Can you immagine all this unfolding after marriage? I know at this point, your mind may be spinning and flooded with intense emotion, that's understandable. I think you should back up now that emotions are vivved up. Later you can find out why it happened in the 1st place but not now that you're experiencing the depth of despair.I do not believe she's telling all that happened. You can win or loose this one depending on how you handled it, hopefully you'll not allow emotion or anger to make the final decision for you and I wish you well.

DonCrust: For her to have called you severally before finally telling you is a sign that she's remorseful and telling you means she value what you guys have going on. My girlfriend once called me that a guy tried to visit her "Reproduction apparatus" in school and that she refused. She apologized and I forgave her simply because I love her and I don't care to know what went down. You need to know that we are human and bound to make mistakes. If truly you love her, let this be her past, see her as a prodigal daughter and do your best to make the relationship work.

Best of luck!

Best post .
The girl is my kind of girl
I love girls with conscience.
It was clearly a mistake which she never thought it would go to that extent.
However if you really want her n love her , don't accept her apologies so quickly , make her sweat for it but not too long Sir. Carrot n stick.
So that when she remember how hard it was to get back her man's trust , she will think correctly next time.
She may be the devil you know. Keep her