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4 Tips For Dealing With Anger In A Relationship - Romance (2) - Nairaland

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Re: 4 Tips For Dealing With Anger In A Relationship by abosedekolawole(f): 6:28pm On Mar 04, 2013
nice one
Re: 4 Tips For Dealing With Anger In A Relationship by league11(m): 6:37pm On Mar 04, 2013
AVOID GETTING ANGRY IS BETTER THAN CONTROLLING ANGER. ARGUMENT IS THE MAJOR CAUSE OF ANGER IN MARRIAGE, AND ARGUMENT COMES UP WHEN YOU TRIES TO PROVE YOUR PARTNER WRONG IN ORDER TO BE RIGHT. IT HAPPENED AT D EARLY STAGE OF MY MARRIAGE, WE ARE 2 DIFFERENT STUBORN PERSONS THAT CAN GO ANY LENGHT TO DEFEND OUR ACTIONS/OPINIONS. MY WIFE WOULD PREFER TO DEFEND HER ACTION/OPINION IN DAYS THAN ADMITTING HER FAULT OR SAYING SORRY. UNTIL WE SAT DOWN ONE NIGHT AND ANALIZED THE CAUSES OF ALL OUR PROBLEMS. WE DISCOVERED THAT D ROOT OF ALL OUR PROBLEMS IS ARGUMENT, THEN WE RESOLVED THAT "ITS BETTER TO BE WRONG AND HAVE PEACE THAN FIGHTING TO BE RIGHT". I PERSONALLY INITIATED THIS ATTITUDE OF SAYING "I'M SORRY" TO AVOID ANY ARGUMENT EVEN WHEN I THINK I'M RIGHT. IF MY WIFE AM I ARE ONE, THEN IF SHE IS WRONG, I CAN ADMIT TO BE WRONG SINCE WE ARE ONE BODY AND SAYING I'M SORRY ON BEHALF OF MY WIFE IS NOTHING TO BE ASHAMED OF. SURPRISINGLY WHENEVER I CHOOSE TO APOLOGISE INSTEAD OF NORMAL ARGUMENT, MY WIFE FEELS GUILTY AND AOPLOGIZES IMMEDIATELY.

SO MY POINT IS THAT THERE SHOULD NOT BE ANY CONTEST, BEING RIGHT DOES NOT WIN ANY PRIZE. WHO IS RIGHT AND WHO IS WRONG DOES NOT BRING PEACE IN MARRIAGE, SO IS BETTER TO LISTEN TO YOUR PARTNER'S OPINION, YOU CAN STILL COUNTER HIS/HER OPINION WITH WISDOM IN A RIGHT MANNER AND RIGHT ATMOSPHERE.

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Re: 4 Tips For Dealing With Anger In A Relationship by derbypiero(m): 8:21pm On Mar 04, 2013
Just smoke weed believe me u will forget u av problem wit her u will b happy even without her dats wot i used to do she used to b confused.den at nite i will give her a hardcore fuuuck wit dis u will ture ur problem into fun so weda probs or not i get my fun
Re: 4 Tips For Dealing With Anger In A Relationship by kandiikane(m): 8:56pm On Mar 04, 2013
I do tend to flip quite easy but I also agree with the 'not going to bed with anger'. My anger never lasts a day so I just usually remove myself from the situation until I feel calmer and then try to make peace.
Re: 4 Tips For Dealing With Anger In A Relationship by kennyfao(m): 9:13pm On Mar 04, 2013
@muaa:
Silence is the best option for me wen am angry cos i have a bitter tongue and I may nt have the opportunity to reverse wateva I might hav said during the course of my anger.
let God punish the word silence. There are things silence, I love and am sorry no dey do. Na beta slap and chronic voice dey do them.
Re: 4 Tips For Dealing With Anger In A Relationship by adavetee(m): 9:20pm On Mar 04, 2013
xynerise: The truth is I hardly get angry except when am hungry grin.
even me o.
Re: 4 Tips For Dealing With Anger In A Relationship by Yeecar(m): 12:08am On Mar 05, 2013
ogugua88:

[size=13pt]If you feel that staying in that kind of environment may lead to you retaliating, then I think it's best that you leave her while she's angry. That gives you some time to cool off and hopefully she'll do the same when she's alone. When you're calm, go back to her and ask her why she's angry. Then, tell her why you're angry. Try to discuss the situation and find a resolution for it.[/size]
SMH!!!
Re: 4 Tips For Dealing With Anger In A Relationship by Nobody: 7:36am On Mar 05, 2013
ogugua88: Early in our marriage, my wife and I agreed to never go to bed angry. When we made this promise, we were still love struck newlyweds who didn't want the honeymoon to end. However, the weight of our promise became evident soon after our first major argument.



I can't remember what the argument was about, but I do remember both of us sitting on the edge of the bed stewing in our anger. Since we are both stubborn and strong-willed, we were content to sit there until the other made a concession. Fortunately, my wife reminded me of our agreement. Her gentle nudge diffused the tension and allowed us to work on a resolution.

I must admit that sticking to our agreement has not always been easy, especially after having kids. Over the course of our 15 year marriage, it gets harder to find the time to kiss and make up, and quite frankly, our arguments are harder to resolve. There have been nights when we've gone to bed angry with each other. We've also stayed up until the wee hours of the morning trying to hash out our problems. Sometimes we come up with a solution and sometimes we don't. But we always try to reach a point where we can speak rationally and without anger.

David and Vera Mace, pioneers in the marriage enrichment movement, developed an acronym (AREA) to help couples deal with anger:

A - Admit your anger to your spouse
R - Restrain your anger and do not let it get out of hand by blaming or belittling
E - Explain in a very calm manner why you are angry
A - Take Action to do something about the cause of the anger

These tips are useful and have helped us to approach our arguments without being overcome by negative emotions. They've also helped us to get a good night's sleep.

My wife and I realize that our time on Earth is short, and we don't want to waste it by holding on to anger. If one of us were to die in our sleep, neither of us would want to live with the guilt of knowing that our last words were not spoken in love.



By Frederick J. Goodall

SOURCE


[size=30]Ogugua, I never knew you had a wife.[/size]
Re: 4 Tips For Dealing With Anger In A Relationship by Nobody: 7:38am On Mar 05, 2013
xynerise: The truth is I hardly get angry except when am hungry grin.

And your wife no sabi cook. Poor boy.
Re: 4 Tips For Dealing With Anger In A Relationship by Nobody: 7:41am On Mar 05, 2013
joek: What do u do wen ur spouse resorts to cursing wen angry wif u? As in telling u u will not make it. And hits u wif anything she finds wen anhry? Especially wen you are trying so hard not to beat her?

Put her in the family way.
Re: 4 Tips For Dealing With Anger In A Relationship by Nobody: 7:53am On Mar 05, 2013
tabletop: .
Yes I have, many times. Even told him my weakness am not the arguing type, and the worst is I don't have a say what ever he says or want I must do. Anytime I tried discussing or try to know why we I must, he keeps reminding me he is the man of the house I don't dictate for him but he dictates and I must do whatever he says.

Ur Husband is a Stark Choleric, thats his temperament but u never knew that-Or did U? This is the Core reason why i'd advocate for Courtship!

Irrespective or ur age, U dont Jxt bulge into a Marriage cos he proposed and fits ur Preferences NAY! U have to Court with him, know his temperament, match it with urs then Outline Steps on how to follow him Up.

Most Unions are Susceptible to this Flaw - And would Only take the grace of God for an Understanding to Click amongst U!

Pray for him and keep Praying - If u feel u cant stand the heat anymore and want to take a breather, Maam pls get urself a Legal counsel.
Re: 4 Tips For Dealing With Anger In A Relationship by Nobody: 8:00am On Mar 05, 2013
okpara ugo: [size=30]Ogugua, I never knew you had a wife.[/size]

[size=13pt]I never knew you couldn't read past the first two lines of the article undecided[/size]

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Re: 4 Tips For Dealing With Anger In A Relationship by xynerise: 8:58am On Mar 05, 2013
okpara ugo:

And your wife no sabi cook. Poor boy.
undecided
Re: 4 Tips For Dealing With Anger In A Relationship by ddeola: 10:41am On Mar 05, 2013
Thanks for this piece.God bless you

1 Like

Re: 4 Tips For Dealing With Anger In A Relationship by Osyxcel(m): 7:17pm On Mar 05, 2013
It's not easy to r'mba all these points wen angry....but if U r'mba dese points after each anger session, U might get beta....

It's really not easy to remain silent wen sum1 is sayin sumtin dat is hurtin' U, and d problem is the more you talk, the more d intensity of the anger....I tink d best tin is just to leave sight, cool-off, probably find sum1 to talk, tink abt wat caused d anger, try 2 tink of hw it can be avoided in d future, take steps to settle it d mata (talk abt d issue dat caused d anger, but on a much more cooler note) and apologize to each other....
Re: 4 Tips For Dealing With Anger In A Relationship by AdeniyiA(m): 6:33am On Mar 06, 2013
xynerise: The truth is I hardly get angry except when am hungry grin.
hungrily angry or angrily hungry?

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