Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / NewStats: 3,194,064 members, 7,953,245 topics. Date: Thursday, 19 September 2024 at 12:53 PM |
Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / She Threaten 2 Divorce Me If I Dont Dissociate Myself From My Best Friend. (32637 Views)
"My Husband Uses ‘Aboniki’ Balm As Lubricant" – Woman Files For Divorce / My Husband Is Threatening To Divorce Me For Petty Reasons / My Nigerian Husband Will Not Divorce Me (2) (3) (4)
(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) ... (15) (Reply) (Go Down)
Re: She Threaten 2 Divorce Me If I Dont Dissociate Myself From My Best Friend. by luvmijeje(f): 12:45pm On Mar 28, 2013 |
bukatyne:So no be only me see something! *Breathe a sigh of relief* 2 Likes |
Re: She Threaten 2 Divorce Me If I Dont Dissociate Myself From My Best Friend. by zeefa: 4:01pm On Mar 28, 2013 |
bukatyne: Could you please make what you saw known to people so that they also would align it with yours for a solid solution. I noticed comments from ladies seems to be partially in support of her attitude instead of bringing a balance to it. Besides, I don't know other information you need me to provide that I have not stated on my post! If you have an exceptional questions that would make things better for me & my family, please go ahead. @least I have time now 2 reply! Just closed from work. |
Re: She Threaten 2 Divorce Me If I Dont Dissociate Myself From My Best Friend. by Rocktation(f): 4:42pm On Mar 28, 2013 |
Yes, as I've also noticed that you haven't exactly accepted any advice from anybody on this thread - both ladies and men together, that asks you to weaken the not-so-natural cohesion that's between you and your buddy, and thus, give more attentiveness to your wife's wishes. Which begs the question- is there more to this brotherhood, than you're letting on? Like a blood covenant or forgive my bluntness, twisted sexual orientation? I mean, it's not like my right to demand the complete truth, BUT inquisitive minds cannot help, but wanna know! 11 Likes |
Re: She Threaten 2 Divorce Me If I Dont Dissociate Myself From My Best Friend. by luvmijeje(f): 4:53pm On Mar 28, 2013 |
Rocktation: Yes, as I've also noticed that you haven't exactly accepted any advice from anybody on this thread - both ladies and men together, that asks you to weaken the not-so-natural cohesion that's between you and your buddy, and thus, give more attentiveness to your wife's wishes. Which begs the question- is there more to this brotherhood, than you're letting on? Like a blood covenant or forgive my bluntness, twisted sexual orientation?Pls take this *kisses*. Op oya answer the questions. 3 Likes |
Re: She Threaten 2 Divorce Me If I Dont Dissociate Myself From My Best Friend. by zeefa: 6:53pm On Mar 28, 2013 |
Rocktation: Yes, as I've also noticed that you haven't exactly accepted any advice from anybody on this thread - both ladies and men together, that asks you to weaken the not-so-natural cohesion that's between you and your buddy, and thus, give more attentiveness to your wife's wishes. Which begs the question- is there more to this brotherhood, than you're letting on? Like a blood covenant or forgive my bluntness, twisted sexual orientation? Blood covenant cos of what? R we clued on rituals secrecy! That must b a joke of the century. Twisted sexual orientation indeed! Well, am not sure u r making a good point on ur contributions. In as much as I seek ppls opinion on what to do, that doesn't make me a fool to ridicule inform of som1 willing to help or advice me on a critical issue that concerns me & my home. If y need 2 ask Qs, Pls do me a favour of being diplomatic & flawless in d kind of words to use. I kw am bound to receive so many sarcastic response on this thread but at d sametime, ppl shld mind what to sa in the cause of given advise. Non of ur Qs deserves an answer cos they r notin but craps from a processing plant. I read all comments from ppl including u. I have taken note of everything & I op 2 call the meeting if possible to allow her open up & state her grievances so as to see how 2 work on it to close up d headache. @luvmijeje, I don't know what kind of reply to give to you personally, all I will say 4 now is thank u 4 following up with d thread. Atleast u showed concern thatz y u r here to comment. E se pupo. Thanks a lot. |
Re: She Threaten 2 Divorce Me If I Dont Dissociate Myself From My Best Friend. by Nobody: 8:00pm On Mar 28, 2013 |
Your wife should not threaten in such a manner. It is a total lack of respect and I will not condone such if I were in your shoes. You should find out who & who have been giving her advice (I fear she may have sought help somewhere). Caution her appropriately, so that she does not repeat the error. On the other hand, know that your relationship with your buddy is not healthy. If your aim is to wreck your marriage, then you are certainly on the right path. Your consistent chit chat with your buddy is causing a great divide in both your marriages. In much of talking, thinking is half murdered. Reduce the talking. You can not marry your buddy (except you are gay). Also, divorcing your wife over such trivial matter will not earn you a gold medal. Gird up your loins like a man and make a decision. 2 Likes |
Re: She Threaten 2 Divorce Me If I Dont Dissociate Myself From My Best Friend. by luvmijeje(f): 8:22pm On Mar 28, 2013 |
zeefa:I can smell sarcasm in your words directed toward me but no wahala. In my opinion,Rocktation was too diplomatic like an ambassador that I couldn't have done better if it were me that ask those questions. Zeefa,if we can infer questions like that from your posts,what will be going through the mind of your wife? I will leave you with that question. 4 Likes |
Re: She Threaten 2 Divorce Me If I Dont Dissociate Myself From My Best Friend. by Nextworldnx(m): 8:49pm On Mar 28, 2013 |
zeefa: @OP, Don't mind the ladies here. While I was reading all along, I knew they were going to turn the whole issue into u and ur friend screwing each other. Be rest assured that there are some guys here who understand what u are talking about and can profer a solution to it. Let me relate with u. I currently have a very close friend from way back. We went dsame Secondary Sch., dsame university, tho he did Chemical Eng and I studied Mechanical. We use to live in dsame town until he got a Job with an Oil Coy in another state. Though, we are not married(Yet we manage our relationships well). Now, we talk and hang-out all day long. Even when we are both separated by distance, we talk on phone all night long(including Nite calls). We talk about life,our business, our daily activities, our dreams, hopes and future. We help each other greatly every day(Funny enough, he is not the only one,I have about 3 others like that. We usually for hours on phone. But am too closely tied to dis my particular brother from another mother). And when most of our girlfriends couldn't separate us, they called us GAYs! Well, it didn't bother us 'cos its all cheap black-mail(U must know that we detest anything homo all forms). U might ask how we succeeded in keeping the girls at bay! -We did exactly ur friend did, "warn the girls sternly". That this guy brought me to this level and I did same for him, and there is no way in Hell we are gonna drop each other for anybody. If she doesn't like it, she can kiss d dust. Women will always be women, once they enter ur life, they chase away everything that u hold dear. People and things that were there for u when things was down, people and things that molded, built and shaped u into what and who u are right now and made u fit for them to befriend or marry. Those same people they want u to chase away so that when u come crashing down,they will pack their bag and baggages and leave u to wallow in misery and regrets. My girlfriend knows it, she can't try that nonsense with me. My main guys first before her. Infact, she's got no choice now, she has made most of my pals her friends. So OP, its ur choice,u married her she didn't marry u. Calling a Family or district meeting is not gonna solve a thing. Its about time u man up and stamp ur feet on the ground. If not, u are in for a long and rough ride if u continue to use logic and wisdom as u have been doing. Just imaging, because ur friend stamp his authority and warned his wife to stay off ur friendship, NL girls are already concluding that u are gays. U see d blackmail I spoke about concerning these daughters of Eve. My friend compromise/bulge on this issue and risk compromising/bulging on any other issue that concerns ur Sibblings/Parents in the nearest future. I dey laff 8 Likes |
Re: She Threaten 2 Divorce Me If I Dont Dissociate Myself From My Best Friend. by zeefa: 9:34pm On Mar 28, 2013 |
Nextworldnx: Yh, I can feel u & am so so api you are in d film. Imagining what they are thinking. Wonder shall never end my brother. Just as you said, am standing on my feet as a Man. I married her & I have the right as a man 2 decide on what I want in my home. Its not really funny at all. Am so happy reading ur comment. Cos dos words of yours just energized me. Let all haters ladies in d house kiss the dust on the floor. That one na their cup of wahala Thanks man! |
Re: She Threaten 2 Divorce Me If I Dont Dissociate Myself From My Best Friend. by Rocktation(f): 9:57pm On Mar 28, 2013 |
zeefa: This is quite funny. It just beats me whenever I see people ask for opinions, and yet don't want them at the same time. I stand to gain nothing by ridiculing you, Mister. Neither do I hope for applauds, if your marriage succeeds or hits the rocks. I would apologise for my choice of adjective, which supposedly depicted a lack of diplomacy from my innocent inquiry...only, idk a subtler term that better describes a distortion of normal order. Fact!! Not that a bad word usage or the presumptions of such, thereof, should bother a diplomat, as much as it did you, though. In all, you answered well enough, and I wish you well with whatever decision you reach. #shuuu, werin consign me? |
Re: She Threaten 2 Divorce Me If I Dont Dissociate Myself From My Best Friend. by luvmijeje(f): 10:05pm On Mar 28, 2013 |
zeefa:Eeeehn,a dog that will get lost will not hear. the whistle of the hunter.I pitied her,she has entered one chance! My prayer 2night is not to entered this kind of one chance o. |
Re: She Threaten 2 Divorce Me If I Dont Dissociate Myself From My Best Friend. by Nobody: 11:30pm On Mar 28, 2013 |
@OP as much as you may have a great friendship with this guy, you have to remember that you also need to spend some quality time with your FAMILY. the only way to solve the issue is for you to FIRST decide what is more important in your life, then SECOND to understand that something will have to give and a choice will have to be made as your wife is serious about this issue, and LAST the fact that you wrote that you cant ask him to stop calling or meeting you shows us all that you have already made you choice about your priorities in life. 1 Like |
Re: She Threaten 2 Divorce Me If I Dont Dissociate Myself From My Best Friend. by Nobody: 4:12am On Mar 29, 2013 |
zeefa: @bolded I have no other comment because I can see the OP is not interested in hearing the truth. 3 Likes |
Re: She Threaten 2 Divorce Me If I Dont Dissociate Myself From My Best Friend. by Nobody: 4:19am On Mar 29, 2013 |
bukatyne: LMAO, we responded the same way to that post, you had the patience to articulate exactly what I was feeling!! *I hadn't read your post before my comment or I would have just quoted it. I just had to respond to that post immediately I saw it.*
Hopefully for the woman's sake, it's not that. lol. No one else wants to say it so I won't be the one to ask the obvious question. (or maybe someone did, let me go read the rest of the thread!) Edited to add: And I see it has been brought up! |
Re: She Threaten 2 Divorce Me If I Dont Dissociate Myself From My Best Friend. by Nobody: 4:26am On Mar 29, 2013 |
double post |
Re: She Threaten 2 Divorce Me If I Dont Dissociate Myself From My Best Friend. by Nobody: 4:44am On Mar 29, 2013 |
OP and his 'best inseparable weird friend' are fvcking each other's behind <==========there I said it! Poor woman ...AIDS is real 6 Likes |
Re: She Threaten 2 Divorce Me If I Dont Dissociate Myself From My Best Friend. by SisiKill1: 5:41am On Mar 29, 2013 |
@OP You should find this thread very helpful. Oh I know, I know the OP is a woman but in situations like these gender doesn't...shouldn't matter, no? There's a marriage, there's a friendship and there's a spouse who is unhappy about that friendship, so there. ... My Husband Hates My Best Friend. What Should I Do? |
Re: She Threaten 2 Divorce Me If I Dont Dissociate Myself From My Best Friend. by ukchy: 6:10am On Mar 29, 2013 |
Duke_Nija: I guess you are not married for you to make such stupid comment.Your wife and family is first every other person is secondary..it is a pity some men like you don't know when to draw a line. 1 Like |
Re: She Threaten 2 Divorce Me If I Dont Dissociate Myself From My Best Friend. by zeefa: 6:38am On Mar 29, 2013 |
jidegirl12: OP and his 'best inseparable weird friend' are fvcking each other's behind <==========there I said it! U must be a FOOL, omo iran kiran ni e! Am a well cultured man & tagging me with such means you are equally romancing in such a nasty act. I wonder y somppu won't just keep quiet if they have notin gud 2 sa. Idiota! Pls, I dnt av your tym now. Abo wa ba ni oro e! Off I go! 1 Like |
Re: She Threaten 2 Divorce Me If I Dont Dissociate Myself From My Best Friend. by Nobody: 9:57am On Mar 29, 2013 |
zeefa: Please quit the ranting. You brought your problem on here, yet you are attacking everyone with an opinion that you don't want to hear. No one yet has told you to get rid of your friend, most people are saying you should try to compromise. Pay your wife more attention, spend more quality time with her instead of your friend because right now, you are saying her friend is more important to you than her. Your wife has made it clear that is not palatable to her and rightfully so. You are willing to DIVORCE your wife so you can talk to your friend at great lengths everyday (you all are probably causing problems in his marriage too) and you are shocked people are wondering about weird connections between you two? Please go and sit down! Hopefully, you will hear this. Talking for hours everyday to anyone apart from your spouse as a married person is an incredible amount. If your wife only needs you for your financial contribution, she may be just fine with it. She could find an assistant husband to occupy her during your bromance periods. If she loves you though and wants a great relationship with her husband, there is no surprise as to why she would want things to change! Since she has always known of your closeness and of how much the friendship means to you two guys, it appears that your wife is out of line by asking you to cut off the friendship completely. However, you may want to explore why she is asking for that instead of asking you to just cut down on your daily discussions; and address it with her. 12 Likes |
Re: She Threaten 2 Divorce Me If I Dont Dissociate Myself From My Best Friend. by Nobody: 11:32am On Mar 29, 2013 |
zeefa: Well cultured my foot! Iwo okinrin jatijati to won fin shepe fokunrin! Akukubi omo! Ki lo n gbe ton gbin? (<== greetings ) What's the deal with this guy that you think your wife's opinion/ request is irrelevant here ? alapa ma sise oledarun okunrin freeloader looking for hand downs from a richer buddy go get a life ( good for nothing lazy bu tt!) You lack decorum and qualities of a caring hubby. You even find it egoistic to trash your wife on public forum cos of your useless SOB messiah friend that a needs good head shake himself. I have a hubby too, heck he ask for permission before drinks with his best buddy, sometimes I say no and he heeds. Marriage is a collaborative business btw 2 individuals ONLY ... all gay buddies without a life should take the back seat thank you! Fvcking egocentric smug! Mooch oshi! I'm going back to sleep.. bad luck man.. ajimaseri apadalosun okunrin ! 9 Likes |
Re: She Threaten 2 Divorce Me If I Dont Dissociate Myself From My Best Friend. by Nobody: 11:49am On Mar 29, 2013 |
3 Likes |
Re: She Threaten 2 Divorce Me If I Dont Dissociate Myself From My Best Friend. by drnoel: 11:49am On Mar 29, 2013 |
zeefa:Call both families and wives together and trash the issue fast. Ur wife's problem is attention and women don't take it lightly if they don't get it. |
Re: She Threaten 2 Divorce Me If I Dont Dissociate Myself From My Best Friend. by Nobody: 2:15pm On Mar 29, 2013 |
Two grown men skyping, lol. I hope it's business you talk about. Go and marry your friend jare. He's the one that obviously rocks your boat. 6 Likes |
Re: She Threaten 2 Divorce Me If I Dont Dissociate Myself From My Best Friend. by k4kenny(f): 4:41pm On Mar 29, 2013 |
OP, seem u've already made your decision as to who matters more in your life, but what d heck am still gonna give my opinion. Life is not static, its ever-changing, you can't expect your life as a married man to be exactly the same as that of your bachelor days. Its a new life with new responsibilities. Imagine the situation were reversed and you wife paid no attention to you, rather she's spending hours at a time discussing with her bff. How would it make you feel? I also find it slightly unsettling that the only advise you totally agreed with came from an unmarried man, are you in the same situation? Do you have the same responsibilities? Your best friend will always be your best friend. Reducing your talk time doesn't make you any less of a friend to him and vice versa. at some of your comments. @jidegirl. E jo e ma binu o, this insult plenty nah. |
Re: She Threaten 2 Divorce Me If I Dont Dissociate Myself From My Best Friend. by Nobody: 4:59pm On Mar 29, 2013 |
Abeg waitoooo, make I understand wetin dey happen. . .so, u get back from work, say 7pm and u have dinner, take a shower and start talking to your "friend" from 8-10pm while your wife sits and looks at u abi? And then by the time u finish, wifey is already sleeping and it goes on and on everyday of your life. Pls, when do you spend quality time with your immediate family, seeing as u also talk to the said "friend" weekends too? I've come to the conclusion that, either both of you are just over grown babies who donot know what marriage is all about or u both are "closet homosexuals"! "Dayo is a very good friend" indeed! Leave your wife and kid and stick to your "friend" jare. Good riddance!!! 3 Likes |
Re: She Threaten 2 Divorce Me If I Dont Dissociate Myself From My Best Friend. by StateOfMind: 6:45pm On Mar 29, 2013 |
Duke_Nija: Na wa o. Why this aggression. @Op, I understand where your wife is coming from. No partner would feel comfortable having someone else as his or her partner's confidant. You even said your friend advises you when your wife misbehaves..huh? Now, if you were to be in your wife's shoes, would you be comfortable with her gisting over the phone with her friend EVERYDAY for 2hours or more? Would you be comfortable with your wife's friend advising her whenever you misbehave? Let's all be reasonable abeg. She is NOT against your friendship, she's against the unnecessary attention you are giving to your male friend. Its obvious you both are overdoing this friendship of a thing cos his wife is also complaining. Most of the men supporting would not tolerate this. They usually end up telling their wives to choose between them and the friend. Btw, what is it that you discuss everyday for over two hours that can not all be discussed on weekends when you normally hang out? I don't think its healthy for two grown up men to talk this much. Ki le n ri wi sef. |
Re: She Threaten 2 Divorce Me If I Dont Dissociate Myself From My Best Friend. by dayokanu(m): 6:53pm On Mar 29, 2013 |
zeefa: I & dayo has been friends for more than 15yrs. We grew up together those days in Ibadan and fortunately, we attended the same university to study different courses. We were in the same faculty of Engineering but different department. Shey na my own Dayo |
Re: She Threaten 2 Divorce Me If I Dont Dissociate Myself From My Best Friend. by StateOfMind: 6:59pm On Mar 29, 2013 |
Nextworldnx: Did I just see "you married her but she dint marry you" Sorry to say bros, but please do us a favour and return to the cave you came from. You all talk as if ladies don't have goals too. These same girlfriends you talk about don't have lives ? They don't have friends whom they share aspiration too? Friends that have helped them grow to become better people? This Op here is married and you are not. Your friend can come first in you relationship but when marriage is concerned, your family comes first. Why am I even wasting my time sef? Someone who already believes in 'I married you and not the other way round'. Someone who thinks no woman can add value to his life but chase value adding people away from him. Shiorrr. 4 Likes |
Re: She Threaten 2 Divorce Me If I Dont Dissociate Myself From My Best Friend. by dayokanu(m): 7:05pm On Mar 29, 2013 |
Thats the thing when you are married You cant talk or hang out with your friends that must mean you are sleeping with them. You must not talk too much with your family too much else it means you are phoccking your parents, you must not talk too much with your neighbors else you are nyanshing them, must not watch TV too much not use phone too much, not use computer too much else you are cheating, if you go to work too much you are phocking your oga or colleague Try adjust your life, Just sleep wake up go to work and look her in the face 24hrs daily at least that would make her happy Marriage is for men to make women happy without consideration for whatever makes the man happy. You wonder why men still die before women All your friends contribution to her passing the PLAB is inconsequential, Maybe she should have rejected the help and banned the friendship when she was getting those help 2 Likes |
Re: She Threaten 2 Divorce Me If I Dont Dissociate Myself From My Best Friend. by Nobody: 7:05pm On Mar 29, 2013 |
@OP try talking to your friend for a max of 5 mins everyday and 1 hour on a saturday for just one week and notice the changes in your marriage. Personally, I would have complained since... everyone is different, apparently your friends wife can cope with the friendship, your wife can't. you may divorce her now and she'll eventually end up with someone who gives her all the attention you need, while your friend will still be with his own family enjoying life with his grand kids at 60+ and you'll be all alone in some nursing home because you choose friendship over family. I doubt there are plenty of women out there who can tolerate what you are doing 4 Likes |
Re: She Threaten 2 Divorce Me If I Dont Dissociate Myself From My Best Friend. by Nobody: 7:06pm On Mar 29, 2013 |
dayokanu: Thats the thing when you are marriedDayo, its not like that ,everything has to be done in moderation because family comes first. |
(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) ... (15) (Reply)
Guy Poses With His 101-Year-Old Great Grand Mother / Which Is Better: Boy Or Girl As First-born? / Kid Gets Trapped Inside A Tyre, Rescued By Her Mother (Photos)
(Go Up)
Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 143 |