---

An absentee dad, and a selfish step-dad sent me into a feminist rage from around 13. It took years of personal growth (and the realisation that I was hurting a lot of male friends) to just be easy on all people. I was neither sweet or caring (esp college and undergrad uni). I remember some awful acts towards your gender. Once this white boy kindly stepped off his bike to walk me to my chemistry department. We talked, and as soon as I got there I entered the security gate and slammed the door in his face. I saw him through the glass, he looked dazed. Another time in my first year at uni, a kind Nigerian guy knocked on my door when he knew I was sick. He had bought my favourite sweets and the softest of tissues. I said thanks and slammed the door in his face too .

Remembering those days make me humble and I direct myself toward change. I was cruel. But yes, I don't want the same experience for my own children. My past experience had a protective effect on me; I'm now early-mid twenties, where I can love responsibly and have never been hurt by a man in a relationship (my ex is an interesting story but he didn't hurt me lol) . My dad was too good looking beyond his control when he was younger lol. That's my excuse for him.

My night with the "cake boss" was interesting. His colleagues kept buying me drinks, so I ended up very tipsy. On the train home some chavs parred a socialist man at his own arguments. I thought I was dreaming but I vividly remember him repeating that he was a socialist and that the girls shouldn't call themselves chavs because its a word the upper classes labeled on them. They retorted that they were chavs by definition and his own reference to those people as "upper" classes, well, he has placed them on an elated social platform and he should find a new word to describe them haha. He got sliced!

Nigerian parties are hilarious! I'm already spreading the word about you Nigerians. People without close contact to Nigerians do not believe me when I say you people are funny

--

Yes, I am very good now. My milkshake was open for the boys in the yard hehe. My ex lol. He was a very handsome golden Egyptian man who... persisted. I broke it off in the end because it was my mistake, I let him get close for companionship sake, not love. I had to drop off the face of his world, so no contact...

Howeverrr, my Cake Boss is very Nigerian; Igbo. Canary Wharf is a white/yellow/brown world. Cake Boss is definitely one of the few chocolate chips in that posh cookie lol. He is outstanding for the right reasons in that rich land of wasteful incompetency (this is investment banking we are talking about so nothing is new). I asked him last night if he'd consider moving back to Nigeria (he was born here but schooled there until GCSE) and he said no; the culture is too subservient and it's counterproductive to the economy (where everyone wants to be CEO apparently). But he loves Naija and I love the smile he can't control when he talks about it. You will probably love it, hussle hard! I aim to visit one day

Flytefalls: Yes, I am very good now. My milkshake was open for the boys in the yard hehe. My ex lol. He was a very handsome golden Egyptian man who... persisted. I broke it off in the end because it was my mistake, I let him get close for companionship sake, not love. I had to drop off the face of his world, so no contact...

Howeverrr, my Cake Boss is very Nigerian; Igbo. Canary Wharf is a white/yellow/brown world. Cake Boss is definitely one of the few chocolate chips in that posh cookie lol. He is outstanding for the right reasons in that rich land of wasteful incompetency (this is investment banking we are talking about so nothing is new). I asked him last night if he'd consider moving back to Nigeria (he was born here but schooled there until GCSE) and he said no; the culture is too subservient and it's counterproductive to the economy (where everyone wants to be CEO apparently). But he loves Naija and I love the smile he can't control when he talks about it. You will probably love it, hussle hard! I aim to visit one day

awwwwwwwwwwwwwww this is cute

[size=1pt]I'll run away now[/size]

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Shymexxy, Bruv, Yellow = East Asian. Brown = South Asian (excuse the slight racial incorrectness). You gonna deny there aren't sizable populations of those groups on the wharf? Blacks are in the minority, definitely.

I had to disappear, my ex started stalker-like behaviour. I became too afraid to be civil. I wouldn't have minded if we became friends but... Some details are too private for nl lol. And don't be a biscuit, of course I didn't meet Cake Boss on nl. You'd find his type either in the investment or programming sections

Perhaps you beat into that girl's cake not to her liking . Are you tender sometimes? So, what type of girl blasts your imagination to fine particles. And where are you likely to find her? Are you secretly hoping she will appear as an approaching jagged crack of a sunny horizon on the vast roads between towns in Nigeria? Or are you just hoping that she'll tut at you on a packed carriage on the northern line; where she accidentally backs that thang on you and events will transform into your next love story?

Oi I had prostate cancer training today. When you are 45, get your PSA test done. Spread the word, a doctor is not allowed to refuse a request . Use results as a benchmark against subsequent PSA tests because this test has 20% false positives/negatives. Black minorities 3x likely to be diagnosed. www.prostatecancer.org

---

I am all about questions as you are well aware by, at least, right now lol. So here I am with more questions, exclusively for you, fortunate one .

Are you spiritual? Are you religious? You have said a lot, and you are very lucky I don't know $h!t about psychology . You are quite right, we should have depth beyond our surfaces. Take pleasure in your journey as I know you will . But have you formulated how you will "resurface"? An exit-strategy? I don't believe we should perpetually look for ourselves when we are, today. And today is best lived superficially, like RAM memory lol; it is healthier imo as life is brief. My own happiness lives on and externally beyond my skin and my heart pulses outwardly to feed it. My brain is often the saboteur . I concern myself with the political, societal, environmental, blahblah-ehtal ills of this sick earth but it must not consume too much of me or my time. I am too flighty for focus most days anyway. Honestly, I am happier this way. But happiness is not a common objective I guess.

I vacillate between the Bible and Dhammapada. God makes sense and Buddha offers practical instructions for navigating our minds. But religion is often treacherous and selfish. Love is the only construction on this earth I can place absolute faith in:

"Love is a triumphant fire, O'Ghalib. It cannot be created on a whim or estinguished if you try."

You want to find your love in a hopeless place? (tehehehehe this damn song again). Would you allow her to find you hopelessly lost? Perhaps she will be your resurfacing tool lol. Awwww that's so romantic (see, flighty. WTF was I taling about again?)

Re Cake Boss, he would be in those sections because that is who he is. If he grew bored he'd go to the joke section or leave. I meant not to imply anything regarding wit or an exceptional mind. The best brains on nl are in those sections, but I'm not foolish enough to engage in debate concerning politics I have no association with or knowledge about... well until my Cake Boss came into my life . I'd be eating alive in 3.5 seconds in the politics sections even if I did know all I could about Nigerian Politics hehe.

--

^ How noble of you . I'm on a study day today but don't yet feel like facing my papers.

Ambivalence is discouraged by all mafia organised religious institutions so I guess I have choices to make. I feel guilty when I pray to God. A humble hypocrite. Loads of development to work on there I think. Pray for me .

You want to find love where there is no love? I see, you are the type that likes to suffer for their art. I understand, it's wholly romantic . Personally I think an idealistic struggle for love is best left to Jennifer Aniston (irl and on-screen) or a black big-batty actress equivalent . Love as love is love. I hope you'll not value it less if it is attained far easier than you'd ever imagined! . That dinosaur reference... paahahahahaha!

Depression is complicated and the UK is becoming more depressed over time. I work a little in the field and depression can fall on intelligent honest people easily; people who stress unnecessarily or are under constant mental stresses. Doctors, vets and farmers are the most suicidal in terms of career. Did you know that black African American women have a tendency to produce babies with comparatively lower birth weights- which has health implications? This outcome was rigorously researched; conducted and peer-reviewed by top experts in the field of epidemiology and medicine. After adjusting results for all known confounders (socioeconomic status, lifestyle choices, mother's education etc) they could not conclude the outcome further than racism, and stresses associated with racism experienced during pregnancy. This observation is only found in the USA. Interesting, but we need not stress .

Superficial means on the surface, not necessarily with an intent to deceive. I am very real. Very open. Very flawed. To strangers, I am quite fearless. I love people and most are agreeable for the brief interactions we share daily. Conversely, what is to fear if a stranger is raging in my face? I would die happy knowing no undue person held power over me. I give that power to my family and closest friends; here is where I spend most of my deeper emotions. I am fearful of losing them... my brother was near-fatally (and quite innocently) stabbed last year. Jane Austen wrote- "Until that moment, I had never known myself". Aptly put.

But happiness!!!! Happiness!!! It's so easy most days. There is so much to say. Too much. But I would say the pursuit is just as important. Keep knowing yourself, maintaining the peace and bench-marking your emotions. Regarding the "complacency" issue, imo if you have reached that stage there isn't a problem unless it melts into boredom or frustration. Simply way of combating that is to be honest and open with yourself. It's just another challenge from a different perspective that need not escalate to crisis levels. Happy or sad, your body will still require air, fuel, water and shelter same as your brain craves new stimulus to flex its muscle. Easy. Earth has been gifted with enough sensory distraction for an eternity of boredom (useful if Adam and Eve had been behaving lol). No stress, life is easy . I don't profess to having all the answers, I am still young. I hope that even the smallest bits of my personal observations are empirically applicable to others for advice sake lol .

Interesting Shymexx.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J2it7M9r7eg

shymexx, gina killed it!
i have never heard anyone deliver multiple punchlines like she did in this piece.

^^^^ I love her she's bloody hilarious

adaobi123: ^^^^ I love her she's bloody hilarious

you have seen it?
"take a piece of the buffalo, the arsë is juicy, the arsë is juicy" on the aisle of nigerian airways is the most hilarious thing i have ever heard!

coogar:

you have seen it?
"take a piece of the buffalo, the arsë is juicy, the arsë is juicy" on the aisle of nigerian airways is the most hilarious thing i have ever heard!

You're here while people are been butchered all over london. When are you going to leave that city btw? It's no longer safe there. Come back home.

coogar:

you have seen it?
"take a piece of the buffalo, the arsë is juicy, the arsë is juicy" on the aisle of nigerian airways is the most hilarious thing i have ever heard!

Of course, Ive watched this like million times.

The way she was like "all passengers leave the plane and give it a push start"

Afam4eva:
You're here while people are been butchered all over london. When are you going to leave that city btw? It's no longer safe there. Come back home.

Its sad I know but its not everywhere in London.

Afam4eva:
You're here while people are been butchered all over london. When are you going to leave that city btw? It's no longer safe there. Come back home.

an isolated incident of zany-acting islamic maniacs attacking a young soldier is not a national crisis. besides i stay in fulham. we don't get to see such evil in mu end. anyways, that's in the south east(shymexx's end). leave which city n go where? boko-haram republic?

adaobi123:

Of course, Ive watched this like a million times.

The way she was like "all passengers leave the plane and give it a push start"

what about what she said to the area boys trying to nick her camera in lagos - "oi, i am from hackney, get outta here."

adaobi123:

Its sad I know but its not everywhere in London.

Have you watched "Kidult hood" and it's sequesls?

coogar:

an isolated incident of zany-acting islamic maniacs attacking a young soldier is not a national crisis. besides i stay in fulham. we don't get to see such evil in mu end. anyways, that's in the south east(shymexx's end). leave which city n go where? boko-haram republic?



what about what she said to the area boys trying to nick her camera in lagos - "oi, i am from hackney, get outta here."

That random killing was crazy, how can you butcher someone like that ?

That killed me too One of the best comedians I've seen.

Do you know little miss jocelyn ?

Afam4eva:
Have you watched "Kidult hood" and it's sequesls?

adulthood n kidulthood - also south london!

Afam4eva:
Have you watched "Kidult hood" and it's sequesls?

That's my movie !!

Reppin "souf east"

adaobi123:

That's my movie !!

Reppin "souf east"

coogar:

adulthood n kidulthood - also south london!

Is that really how ghetto life in London is? if it is, then it's really scary.

Afam4eva:


Is that really how ghetto life in London is? if it is, then it's really scary.

The area that I live in souf south east london, aint ghetto. Like coogar said its shymexx's ends

Even though I live near quite rough areas

adaobi123:
That random killing was crazy, how can you butcher someone like that ?

they hacked his head off and told passersby to call the police. they wanted to die and become TV stars.

That killed me too One of the best comedians I've seen.
Do you know little miss jocelyn ?

that yeye black woman - i saw one episode of her as a bus driver cursing her own passengers - someone pressed the bell to get off n she said - are you a jehovah's witness?

Afam4eva:
Is that really how ghetto life in London is? if it is, then it's really scary.

it can be as bad as that!
kids are scarier than adults sef especially when they are in packs. they always carry knives n shanks!

coogar:

they hacked his head off and told passersby to call the police. they wanted to die and become TV stars.



that yeye black woman - i saw one episode of her as a bus driver cursing her own passengers - someone pressed the bell to get off n she said - are you a jehovah's witness?



it can be as bad as that!
kids are scarier than adults sef especially when they are in packs. they always carry knives n shanks!

@bolded this is true, this is why avoid huge groups of boys, the scare the hell out of me !

smh, I hope that idiotic fool rots in hell.

Yeye black woman ? You have to love her, shes funny too.

adaobi123:
@bolded this is true, this is why avoid huge groups of boys, the scare the hell out of me !
smh, I hope that idiotic fool rots in hell.

where is shymexx?

Yeye black woman ? You have to love her, shes funny too.

i like her - she's mad funny, i wish all bus drivers are like that!

coogar:

where is shymexx?



i like her - she's mad funny, i wish all bus drivers are like that!

I dont know.

LOOL if all the bus drivers were like that, oyibo people will be claiming.

adaobi123:

@bolded this is true, this is why avoid huge groups of boys, the scare the hell out of me !

It's scary but just be smart on the street, most people are harmless. Everyone is lamenting about this, it's so sad. So random

adaobi123:
I dont know.

LOOL if all the bus drivers were like that, oyibo people will be claiming.

"the arše is juicy" is funnier - she said nigeria airways make easyjet planes look like concorde!

Flytefalls:
It's scary but just be smart on the street, most people are harmless. Everyone is lamenting about this, it's so sad. So random

Very randon ! He chopped his blood head off, why would one do that ? smh