interestingly, both parties have not responded on this thread.
could they be making lorv?

money-hungry :
interestingly, both parties have not responded on this thread.
could they be making lorv?

There is d tendency dat when pple r vulnerable,that is when they normaly do what ordinarily they will not do when they r ok
What happned to that woman if her story is true has bn hapnin to countless number of pple.once u hv a marital issue,u want to justify ur stance and action hence u look out for ur 'person' and pour ur heart to d person.some cry,ur person may be consolin u and b4 u know it,it has hapned.
My hubby's friend lost his wife bc of this,a friend while in school lost her fiance tru this.and countless others.
We don't know what is goin on wit these two but let us not be too hasty to condenm. We pray not to hv marital problem but where it abound,I tell u it is a wild fire!

Hmnnnnnnnn. I honestly dont see things working out in this marriage. Mrs pls divorce him n start over again.but pls no cheating next time.n people need to stop being judgmental. ur husbands story didn ring completely true tried to make himself look too perfect. guys please remember treat ur wife like an angel n she will take u to heaven. wats old to u is like new to d next man.n pls enough with this 70ies mentality that this is Africa and men r polygamous by nature cheating hurts women.

all d best to Mr n Mrs

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=ZZb7BEdrh1E (watch n laugh d ideal wife)

Waoh! this one get as he be ooo...but i've noticed that these kinds of threads are usually fake. It's a good story-line,though.
However, my own thought is that 'YOU BOTH HAVE ISSUES'. Trying to justify one for the other is not really a good idea here. None of you is a saint...so, maybe you can both start again and make things right.

I hope someone has learnt something today? Marriage isn't a romantic comedy, its reality (an eye opener) and it is full of challenges. But love,loyalty and common-sense always wins.

*Don't for any reason ignore the warning signs while courting.

*Deal with 'little' issues,before they become 'big' issues.

*No matter the problems in a marriage, sexual 'escape' shouldn't be explored.

I pray you two find solutions to your problems-offline.

Women with the kind of stupid excuse they come up with to defend their stupidity.
This is the reason when a 21 year uni student is planning my life on how we will live a happy life for the rest of our lives, i tell her that it is not simply going to work, cos i have noticed this trend of women after many years calling the guy a cradle snatcher and how they took away their youth and took advantage of their naivety , even though they were the ones planning the whole thing from the onset

Has anyone here had to settle a dispute between a husband and the wife,
the women tend to use the same tactics and same story line:

1) He physically abused me, and where she knows this will not stand, she starts with he abuses me emotionally (that is the new one trending)
2) He is lazy and a dead beat, doesn't provide for me bla bla bla

I have read both stories and sorry woman, you are just so loose
your husband happens to be matured , were you expecting that your husband will be brandishing words with you, a man that covered your shame by not exposing your atrocity to your lovers wife??

you can't be begging your husband for 8 months if you knew he had girlfriends and was sleeping around and was also a dead beat (This is called the emotional card blackmail) Stop trying to pull the wool over our eyes

You cannot after many years start holding to something that happened when you were single
I have known many guys who had multiple Gfs and made a choice of one to get married, and once they get married, that is it.
What were you expecting, that the other girls will be happy and go without a fight??

Your husband was only here to find a solution to the predicament you put him into and not to bash you

wifeofwhyme222: Another time still while I was pregnant dis same man didn't bathe 4 4days he was busy chatting with a woman on yahoomail..describing in details 2 2 make luv 2 a pices woman the spots 2 touch 2 set her offs lots of raw personal chats...how did I see dis? He fell asleep and I saw it...I woke hoim up asked him and he said. She is a ldy he gave a ride and she complained 2 him she can't seem 2 get pregnant 4 her hubby...pls my husband is an engineer not a therapist or a councellor...

The colleague you slept with, is he a therapist or counselor

Make I reserve space go read from the first page.

wifeofwhyme222: I slept with my colleague 2wice yes....I shouldn't av done dat I av no justification. I was depressed and needed someone 2 talk 2....we both realised what we were doing and put a stop 2 it...that period if he can be truthful my husband can testify 2 how that affected me that period.I was dying in silence cos I wanted 2 tell him. I was scared....he failed 2 mention he found out 5months after all had ended...I slept with dis man march ending..and it ended, 5months after I put 2 bed..[/b]I was wrong and I av been suffering in silence and in the open....[b]my husband failed 2 mention I had 2 travel 4 1whole week without my baby, 2 cover an assignment so as 2get money 2 the the needs of the home cos we were starving. I came back after 7days and my baby rejected my bosom milk cos she hadn't sucked 4 long. Now he said I was aving an affair and sleeping with another mab without condoms...

Dude why do i feel like Jeremy Kyle,
The sooner you get a paternity test, the better for you, forget that the baby looks like your mom

From the story i was told, my mum had to go and handle some stuffs after i was born, i was left with my grand-mum, and when she came back, i just wouldn't let her carry me, but she didn't act as you
and my dad lost his job at the birth of my younger one and my mum had to teach extra lessons and also farm and sell some of those produce to sustain the family and didn't go through your route of emotional blackmail

wifeofwhyme222:
Tell me how much can a woman take..even if I am a robbot. U all judge and insult me..calling me names that are unthinkable...u can think all u want I am not a bad wife neither am I a bad mother. He told me from the onset this marriage was a mistake now I am ready toright dat mistake I cannot continue 2 torture myself and suffer in silent. Recently I was diagnosed with high BP.. as a result of too much worry and stress. I av asked him does he wnt me 2 kill myself before he knows I am sorry?

Men don't do unto others what u cannot take he must realize dat.

@wifeofwhyme222, your husband thinks your marriage is a mistake because he had options and he choose you and you turned out to be not the quality he thought you were.
You are loud, arrogant and just obnoxious.

@whyme222, every marriage has its up and downs, you never could tell what would have happened if you had married the other ladies. But know that everything does happen for a reason, i will implore you to forgive your wife, you might want to take a break from her for a while to heal. I have never been in your position, but i know we do pray that may God forgive us as we forgive those who trespass against us

wifeofwhyme222:
This my Oga and I became close he assisted me in many areas...yes I developed feelings 4 him. But dis was very under control I work with this man almost 24hrs of the day...and he was always dere.... he assisted me in areas that I needed my hubby 2 but he was too busy

Yeah we know, he really assisted you

wifeofwhyme222:
This my Oga and I became close he assisted me in many areas...yes I developed feelings 4 him.

We certainly now know who the Oga@thetop is

wifeofwhyme222:
...he said he has never laid his fingers on me that is a lie he has belted me twice and used a shoe 2 beatme up too...simply cos I said he should cut off from dese women.

It is surprising that you say he is physically abusive and in your 17 years of knowing him, you can only count being belted twice, also so convenient that an abusive man didn't panel beat you after discovering your infidelity

Na wa for assisting oga oh.

This story is suspiciously fake. This wife doesn't sound intelligent at all...and she says she's fat, so where is the beauty?

Jobless people.

debosky: Na wa for assisting oga oh.

This story is suspiciously fake. This wife doesn't sound intelligent at all...and she says she's fat, so where is the beauty?

Jobless people.

In the eyes of the owner

forgiveness is the key but a lot of things are not adding up, are husband & wife, churchless and orphans?

Awwwh...I dont think this is a fake story at all, anyway am nt here to judge bt....

I pray and hope u both forget the past....and forgive eachother. We r not perfect take note.

You could take a night walk together....look into eachother's eyes....bring back those beautiful old memories u had together wen things were great!

Prms eachother things will work out fine eventually, cry together, crack some silly jokes, list out those things that irritated eachother bfore this mess, prms to make adjustments, agree that u were both wrong, put the blame on d devil together, help eachoda realize that d devil is actually dancing azonto right now..then u both shud decide to put the devil to shame. yes when u forgv eachoda...am sure d devil himself wil suffer an heart attack wen he finds out abt ur reconcillation, cause he is totally sure this marriage is over! So here is a chance to shock him and put him to shame. Think about ur daughter or talk abt ur daughta together nd how this might affect her psychologically when she is older, imagine u two together when she starts schoolln, graduates, gets married, ur first grandchild etc how romanctic it'd be to go thru all these together and d joy it will bring ur daughter, also talk abt having more children....then pray together...seek for forgiveness frm God, if u guys dont pray together before then u shud form that habit now! close ur eyes, open them...before u is a new being, kiss eachother...finally, prms eachother that, tomorrow is the begining of a new life btwn u both...and wht ever happened in d past belongs to the past and shud b buried for life, without anyone making referrence to it in d future.

I'd advise u re-propose to her again, to mark the begining of a new dawn and a wonderful family.

Whymee, stop seeing ur wife as a cheater that way u'd learn to love her again and plzzzzz i take God beg u...quit social netwrks and start facing reality by loving ur wife and giving her all the attention she needs frm you!
If i were u, and really determined to make things work...i wont mind getting a torch light phne just to avoid the temptations of doing some dirty stuffs online!
Ssocial netwrks hs actually made it easier for pple to cheat more on their partners.


Mrs. Whyme...
Thank God u no longer work in that place anymore.
I think ur husband really loves u, maybe he acted like he doesnt all this while bt am so sure he truly loves you.

4orgive ursef, and forgv ur hubby...wt ever made u to look beyond his mistakes bfore d marriage shud also make u to look beyond everthn he has done to u nw if he is willing to change.
Then make sure u stop sharing ur problems with ur frds be it male or female....if u really wana talk to anyone find ursef a marriage counselor or a therapist....a female....sure u wont regret it.
Your body is the temple of the Lord, let no man defile that body of urs except the man that God has given the authority to, which of coz is ur hubby...he alone!!!

I pray that someday, u both see this thread together laugh it off nd kiss eachother.

I just wanted to look for whyme's post and comment when i saw whyme's wife post. Na wa for this kind marriage oooooo. Here is my deductions from all the nonsense I had read from the two of you post,

*you are both cheats, that's all.
*if you both are ready to forgive eachother and move on, then good for you two, cos you both know how bad it is to cheat on the other party.
*use eraser to erase those memories you dont wana remember.
*@whyme, you did not in any way disprove your wife claim on how you chat with girls and women, this i say you are guilty of, dont cast the stone again, you both have sinned.
remember, if you are her judge, God is your own judge.
* if you cant forgive her, God wont forgive you too.
*if God doesnt forgive you, then you are of all men most miserable.
*both of you should learn to pray together, read the Word together and move on.
*lastly, divorce is not the best solution, make amends and move on. you both have erred. if you divorce her, i see you divorcing another woman, if you divorce him, i see you also cheating on your next husband, hence, both of you will only regret you could not make amends later.

dont involve family, they will only make things worst, one side claiming my son is a saint and the other claiming my dauhter has had enough of him.

@BB,ur post is one of d most matured and unbiased I've seen here

yellowpawpaw: @BB,ur post is one of d most matured and unbiased I've seen here

Awwh....thanks alot.

#TeamHappyEndings

Wifey's post didnt hint at remorse. U want forgiveness, yet U are ranting and claiming right!
.
Forgiveness is earned.
U cant bully anyone into forgiving U.
A wise woman builds her home. A foolish one pulls it down.
.
Hubby wants 2 forgive. But how does one forgive an unrepentant sinner?
.
I believe that U would/should deduce from my post that 'One thing U lack'.

Wow!and that family friend of a man is enjoying himself with his family in peace and this family is about to break up fighting everywere even on internet. When will women learn? Gosh!

This situation, not the story, looks familiar. I once have been in an A-says-this-B-says-that situation where one of us brought all the facts to the table in the most incoherent way ever( I just needed to tell it as it was as angry as I was). The other party was economical with the facts and came across as a cool and collected adult one would want to listen to. The result was that, the economist was more believable until I just threw in the towel and walk.

Naturally my instincts was to believe you OP but given some salient points in your story which just doesn't hold any water as far as I'm considered, I will just sit on fence and wish you two goodluck with your choices.

Dearie, you really did admit to sleeping with anothere man while PREGNANT for your husband...still sitting on fence.

debosky: Na wa for assisting oga oh.

This story is suspiciously fake. This wife doesn't sound intelligent at all...and she says she's fat, so where is the beauty?

Jobless people.

On the contrary, I do believe this is not a cooked up story. It's there to see in all d mumbo jumbo, disconnected ideas, hussy saying wife is beautiful, wifey claiming he calls her fat, etc, etc, etc. Sometimes, when something sounds unreal, it could in fact be the mirror image of reality.

My advice to the couple, you guys need to take some time off each other to re-assess your relationship, and where it's headed, if at all you both still believe there's something to salvage in this marriage. Also, you will most definitely benefit from professional counselling, both from a therapist as well as by your pastor. It's obvious you're both hurt badly, throwing accusations and counter accusations won't help your broken hearts. I believe there's still love between you too, please, don't throw it away. 10yrs from now, you should both be able to look back and thank God you chose to fix this rather than take a walk. May God give you the grace to do the proper thing.

Les: Jumps into ARA-GA-AGBÄ-NDI-ARA-RIVER


Husband claims he never cheated, wife claims he did.... Husband claims she did cheat, wife admits so... Since only one person admits cheating, to me only one person Cheated, the wife!!!- i might take back my word if d husband claims ol dis tins d woman said is wrong.... To me, i tink she exaggerated cos I've never seen somebody dat does half of wat dat lady says, a lazy engineer, nice one. U knew he was cheating b4 wedding, yet u still went ahead....

Well, am not judging anything o, i even tink dat whyme and wifeofwhyme are the same person trying to play with nairaland, but even if it's tru, sorry to say u kids need to go offline and sort tins out, nairaland dont need ur marital pique!!!

Gbam, double Gbam Gbam.....
Only whyme's wife cheated....cos she is the only one that confessed....she never said she saw her husband cheating, never read any messages that has the other lady(ies) saying how sweet whyme's koboko iz.....whyme has come out to say that HE NEVER CHEATED ON wife.of.whyme.
Moreover, liars are known to talk or write too much....the opening post by op, is an epistle......amoutofhere

Seriously, i don't believe this story!

Every failed marriage has its red-flag waving. We`re just too much "love" to spot them and deal with the issues. @ OP, IMO, ur marrying him inspite all his cheating b4 marriage is acceptance of his "terms and conditions". Beside, I think you cld av done a bit more to counter his behaviour (not by cheating). There are better ways to deal wt a cheating partner. I dont know ur work schedule, but maybe if u both rode in d same car to and from work, church and other outings all the time, it wld av minimized "lifting" other women. Insists he takes HIV test anytime he`s caught cheating (to insult his ego/pride) or he wears "rubber" b4 intimacy, create things/events/moments to occupy his time, showing interests in his likes (excluding cheating) and liking them as well.
We`ve seen and heard of so many serial cheaters worse than your hubby that ended up changed men that even became MOG. From your posting you seem to have this "do me I do you" approach to ur marriage (not judging). However, I believe if you had held on a little while you wld have been the wiser of the 2 of you. As its been said, 2 wrongs dont make a right and you both shld seek help (including spiritual thru prayers). Dont grant him the divorce, u both work it thru (I see that in you already) cos u both caused the "wahala".
I pray that God `ll heal you both to truly forgive each other and restore your marriage in Jesus name. Amen.

Like someone suggested earlier, u both get off dis forum or any other and go fix ur marriage. This platform `ll further add more fuel 2 a burning bush.

hmmmmmm

Becacia_Barbie: Awwwh...I dont think this is a fake story at all, anyway am nt here to judge bt....

I pray and hope u both forget the past....and forgive eachother. We r not perfect take note.

You could take a night walk together....look into eachother's eyes....bring back those beautiful old memories u had together wen things were great!

Prms eachother things will work out fine eventually, cry together, crack some silly jokes, list out those things that irritated eachother bfore this mess, prms to make adjustments, agree that u were both wrong, put the blame on d devil together, help eachoda realize that d devil is actually dancing azonto right now..then u both shud decide to put the devil to shame. yes when u forgv eachoda...am sure d devil himself wil suffer an heart attack wen he finds out abt ur reconcillation, cause he is totally sure this marriage is over! So here is a chance to shock him and put him to shame. Think about ur daughter or talk abt ur daughta together nd how this might affect her psychologically when she is older, imagine u two together when she starts schoolln, graduates, gets married, ur first grandchild etc how romanctic it'd be to go thru all these together and d joy it will bring ur daughter, also talk abt having more children....then pray together...seek for forgiveness frm God, if u guys dont pray together before then u shud form that habit now! close ur eyes, open them...before u is a new being, kiss eachother...finally, prms eachother that, tomorrow is the begining of a new life btwn u both...and wht ever happened in d past belongs to the past and shud b buried for life, without anyone making referrence to it in d future.

I'd advise u re-propose to her again, to mark the begining of a new dawn and a wonderful family.

Whymee, stop seeing ur wife as a cheater that way u'd learn to love her again and plzzzzz i take God beg u...quit social netwrks and start facing reality by loving ur wife and giving her all the attention she needs frm you!
If i were u, and really determined to make things work...i wont mind getting a torch light phne just to avoid the temptations of doing some dirty stuffs online!
Ssocial netwrks hs actually made it easier for pple to cheat more on their partners.


Mrs. Whyme...
Thank God u no longer work in that place anymore.
I think ur husband really loves u, maybe he acted like he doesnt all this while bt am so sure he truly loves you.

4orgive ursef, and forgv ur hubby...wt ever made u to look beyond his mistakes bfore d marriage shud also make u to look beyond everthn he has done to u nw if he is willing to change.
Then make sure u stop sharing ur problems with ur frds be it male or female....if u really wana talk to anyone find ursef a marriage counselor or a therapist....a female....sure u wont regret it.
Your body is the temple of the Lord, let no man defile that body of urs except the man that God has given the authority to, which of coz is ur hubby...he alone!!!

I pray that someday, u both see this thread together laugh it off nd kiss eachother.

Gbam That is my advice to you too.

Y'all are still on this?