simpleseyi: Your wife, mother-in-law and friend want you to keep it secret because of their plan-B. The plan-B is to send hired assassins to delete you. Thereafter, they will decide what to do with your sister. Continue living with death at your own risk.

My advice: Tell your mother, brothers, sisters and father-in-law today and right this minute before these people delete you. The next 5 minutes may be too late. Don't let these devils use God to blackmail you.

You gave the best advice as far as I'm concerned.

oduz
dmcdad
sambright2012
Chibenze
DonTonero

Guys I put this question to you, if this happened to you, would you do what you've advised? Your advices are still boggling my mind.

Op, please tell your sister, your mother, father, her father everybody that you fell should know, your nephew and nieces I mean everyone. Not telling everyone involved is a triple betrayal on the family and you would have been an accomplice.

Why would her mum ask you to cover up such acts, I guess its a gene she transferred to her daughter.

As for what to do with her, that one I no fit talk. He who waers the shoe knows where it pinches. Thank God you have a kid sha.

2s£xy:
I am sorry... Just that the way you said it made me respond that way coupled with what I had experienced before. But years later, she came begging me and hopefully wanted us to continure which I declined.

I wouldn't advice ladies to do what you did because they could end up hurting an innocent soul, someone who REALLY cared.

I can't reall talk much but I believe you may have hurt someone in the process of catching fun, someone who really cared. Brb

sweetheart when we open our hearts to love someone we take a chance. I have taken chances too and got hurt. please do not make me feel bad for catching up to the game. As i said i was going through a phase and my intentions were not to hurt anyone. No one can really avoid pain in life. I have had my own fair share and u do not see me breaking. don't hate the player hate the game

Hahhaha... Okay, ma'am. We are cool now.

Monicasque:


sweetheart when we open our hearts to love someone we take a chance. I have taken chances too and got hurt. please do not make me feel bad for catching up to the game. As i said i was going through a phase and my intentions were not to hurt anyone. No one can really avoid pain in life. I have had my own fair share and u do not see me breaking. don't hate the player hate the game

2s£xy:
Hahhaha... Okay, ma'am. We are cool now.

thank u sir. I blv we r

stpat1:

Guys I put this question to you, if this happened to you, would you do what you've advised? Your advices are still boggling my mind.

Op, please tell your sister, your mother, father, her father everybody that you fell should know, your nephew and nieces I mean everyone. Not telling everyone involved is a triple betrayal on the family and you would have been an accomplice.

Why would her mum ask you to cover up such acts, I guess its a gene she transferred to her daughter.

As for what to do with her, that one I no fit talk. He who waers the shoe knows where it pinches. Thank God you have a kid sha.

Read my posts especially the first one I dropped and you will notice I stated it categorically that, I gave that advice of mine just as I would treat it if I were the one involved. Like I also stated in virtually all my posts; I hate unfaithfulness more than anyone in the world and that is why I would never ever be unfaithful. But the thing is, maybe I fear God too much to always consider Him in making such decisions or going about such issues.

If were to leave God outta it, then it would be a different kettle of fish.

@ poster: Dude, She did it for no just Cause… she will surely do it again. The earlier you move on, the better for you. Even the bible permits that!

Valeree: OP what is the age gap between you and ur wife? Did u marry a kid, a girl or a woman? Sometimes these things matter, but men never see it dat way. A 32 year old can marry a 16 year old girl thinking dat nothing is wrong so far she can deliver a baby, but psychologically she is not yet matured and hasnt developed the firm conscience of saying No to other mens advances. Dis kind of stories are rampant among men with much age gaps btw dia wives. Reminds me of my neighbour dat married his wife wen she was 18 and him 39, made her a full time housewife and opened pepper soup joint for her. infact the whole of the male customers slept wit the wife at a point the man started doubting the paternity of his second child..
Meanwhile men have to be carefull in choosing their wives, every female can marry and deliver a baby but not all can be a wife and mother.

Yeah she is far younger than i am, But we sat down and discuss this while dating, all the implication of getting 'caged' in marraige was laid before her, she agreed this is what she wanted and she wont go back on it.She promised she wont miss anything if she gets married and we went all the way with her promise and assurance.

NnekaGirl: I am sure there are alot of serious girls who would like to take her place,she literaly killed you by doing what she did.If you forgive her today what if she does the same thing later??
I applaud your maturity,you behaved responsibly kudos!!I pray that God gives you strength to get through this,but remember there are still a responsible woman out there,who would value you and value the sanctity of marriage.

My major fear is forgiving and same person repeating same thing in the near future, even though she has been begging really hard and threatnening to end her life if the marraige ends, she has been crying and wailing and willing to do ANYTHING to save her marriage and relationship with me,naturally as a human being i felt for her emotionally with all her plea and what she is going through presently( she lives with her parent now) however the heart of man.... what if she does it again.....

peciouslove:

My major fear is forgiving and same person repeating same thing in the near future, even though she has been begging really hard and threatnening to end her life if the marraige ends, she has been crying and wailing and willing to do ANYTHING to save her marriage and relationship with me,naturally as a human being i felt for her emotionally with all her plea and what she is going through presently( she lives with her parent now) however the heart of man.... what if she does it again.....

Let her end her life if she so desires. Something tells me its not over between them!

Quit wasting valuable time on NL! Start building your life afresh. . . . WITHOUT HER!

Hmmm... I see you have a soft heart. Too bad mine has been smashed until it became hard.

Bros, one question I have aside the wailing and plea is: What if you didn't find out do you think they would have stopped?

Some people may feel I am being wicked but honestly, that's crocodile tears to me. There are a lot of questions to be asked and seeing the age gap, that reminds me of Funmi Odukoya's book on marriage. It was stated there that marrying a young woman of early age could seem like a cage and she would want to explore more.

I have a friend based in the US who had similar issue. I can't state if she cheated on him but one fact that stood was that she opted OUT of the marriage that has 3 daughters. My friend tried everything possible to save the marriage but her mind was made up. He granted her wish and today, he is the one taking care of the 3 daughter and he is even doing a better job at it than, what I believe, the mother of the 3 girls. I later observed that it had to do with age and it seemed the girl/lady in question got married when she hadn't made up her mind and much at a younger age.

When girls in this category see their fellow mates still catching fun, they often fall prey. I am yet to see any of such girls handle it with maturity. Marriage comes with maturity...

Na now she wan cry abi? When she was enjoying it she didn't realise her atrocity?

What about your inlaw and friend?

peciouslove:

My major fear is forgiving and same person repeating same thing in the near future, even though she has been begging really hard and threatnening to end her life if the marraige ends, she has been crying and wailing and willing to do ANYTHING to save her marriage and relationship with me,naturally as a human being i felt for her emotionally with all her plea and what she is going through presently( she lives with her parent now) however the heart of man.... what if she does it again.....

Please what does forgiveness actually means? Can someone forgive and forget at the same time especially when it borders on trust and betrayal? after you forgive, what about the pain and trauma that goes with it? can one ever get over issues like this?

I told them i have already forgiven them, However there will be implication and consequence.I will still be seperated from the two of them at least for now, and the condition for even re-considering my wife is so strict and stern that a normal lady will opt to just walk away.She was however willing to abide by all condition and this surprised me...she is willing to do anything everything to save her marriage, something she never considered when she was inflicting such hard pain on me.

All single ladies and guys, all married men and women, please take into consideration wide implications and repercussion of your action if you decide to cheat on your partner.

Interesting my wife have seen this post on nairaland and she said she follows it everyday! She painfully reads all the unbiased comments from this public domain and she can judge herself too( maybe that also influence her resolve to do anything to save her marraige). I wont also be surprised if she also comment on this thread very soon.....

2s£xy:
Hmmm... I see you have a soft heart. Too bad mine has been smashed until it became hard.

Bros, one question I have aside the wailing and plea is: What if you didn't find out do you think they would have stopped?

Some people may feel I am being wicked but honestly, that's crocodile tears to me. There are a lot of questions to be asked and seeing the age gap, that reminds me of Funmi Odukoya's book on marriage. It was stated there that marrying a young woman of early age could seem like a cage and she would want to explore more.

I have a friend based in the US who had similar issue. I can't state if she cheated on him but one fact that stood was that she opted OUT of the marriage that has 3 daughters. My friend tried everything possible to save the marriage but her mind was made up. He granted her wish and today, he is the one taking care of the 3 daughter and he is even doing a better job at it than, what I believe, the mother of the 3 girls. I later observed that it had to do with age and it seemed the girl/lady in question got married when she hadn't made up her mind and much at a younger age.

When girls in this category see their fellow mates still catching fun, they often fall prey. I am yet to see any of such girls handle it with maturity. Marriage comes with maturity...

Na now she wan cry abi? When she was enjoying it she didn't realise her atrocity?

What about your inlaw and friend?

Harsh but I do concur.
Nevs mistaken Guilt for true Remorse

Bros, forgiveness in a situation like this is hard oooh. I won't want to decieve myself. It is VERY hard and I know it. Forget what people may say. However to forgive comes with bravery and maturity. Search yourself if you can handle it with a battered trust.

You lay out you terms and conditions, albeit stern but she is WILLING to save her 'marriage' I laugh!

Bros, some women marry for a lot of reasons...

Which are:

1. Just to bear a man's name.

2. To wear the tag 'Mrs xyz'

3. To have a child

4. To avoid the long queue of searching due to the dwindling population of men that are ready for marriage.

5. Because they love,respect and adore their man.

6. Because they want to build a happy home and be a good mother

7. The list goes on.

What category does she fall into? I am not being wicked but it would break my heart to see you being fooled twice. We should remind ourself a friend to a fellow nairalander took his own life because of this same situation you are in and I will post the link here.

In this case, it had to do with wife and a blood brother... A daughter had been born which is about a year.

peciouslove:
Please what does forgiveness actually means? Can someone forgive and forget at the same time especially when it borders on trust and betrayal? after you forgive, what about the pain and trauma that goes with it? can one ever get over issues like this?

I told them i have already forgiven them, However there will be implication and consequence.I will still be seperated from the two of them at least for now, and the condition for even re-considering my wife is so strict and stern that a normal lady will opt to just walk away.She was however willing to abide by all condition and this surprised me...she is willing to do anything everything to save her marriage, something she never considered when she was inflicting such hard pain on me.

All single ladies and guys, all married men and women, please take into consideration wide implications and repercussion of your action if you decide to cheat on your partner.

Interesting my wife have seen this post on nairaland and she said she follows it everyday! She painfully reads all the unbiased comments from this public domain and she can judge herself too( maybe that also influence her resolve to do anything to save her marraige). I wont also be surprised if she also comment on this thread very soon.....

Make una see am:

https://www.nairaland.com/1259050/shes-succeeded-killing-friend-husband#15263117

peciouslove:

Yeah she is far younger than i am, But we sat down and discuss this while dating, all the implication of getting 'caged' in marraige was laid before her, she agreed this is what she wanted and she wont go back on it.She promised she wont miss anything if she gets married and we went all the way with her promise and assurance.

She is Far younger than you! Hmmm.. Then It is not her fault, u should hav waited maybe another year or two b4 talking her into marriage.. Kindly forgive her, but be rest assured dat wen u reach middle age, dis issue have a high tendency of repeating itself and I don't blame her, then when u are old and tired just be praying dat she still respects u. Finally age gap between couple really matters.

Hmmmm... Not her fault? I honestly disagree. I don't think he married a lady less than 22 even though he didn't specify.

Make I no talk too much...

Valeree:
She is Far younger than you! Hmmm.. Then It is not her fault, u should hav waited maybe another year or two b4 talking her into marriage.. Kindly forgive her, but be rest assured dat wen u reach middle age, dis issue have a high tendency of repeating itself and I don't blame her, then when u are old and tired just be praying dat she still respects u. Finally age gap between couple really matters.

[color=#000099][/color][/b][b]

2s£xy:
Hmmm... I see you have a soft heart. Too bad mine has been smashed until it became hard.

Bros, one question I have aside the wailing and plea is: What if you didn't find out do you think they would have stopped?

Some people may feel I am being wicked but honestly, that's crocodile tears to me. There are a lot of questions to be asked and seeing the age gap, that reminds me of Funmi Odukoya's book on marriage. It was stated there that marrying a young woman of early age could seem like a cage and she would want to explore more.

I have a friend based in the US who had similar issue. I can't state if she cheated on him but one fact that stood was that she opted OUT of the marriage that has 3 daughters. My friend tried everything possible to save the marriage but her mind was made up. He granted her wish and today, he is the one taking care of the 3 daughter and he is even doing a better job at it than, what I believe, the mother of the 3 girls. I later observed that it had to do with age and it seemed the girl/lady in question got married when she hadn't made up her mind and much at a younger age.

When girls in this category see their fellow mates still catching fun, they often fall prey. I am yet to see any of such girls handle it with maturity. Marriage comes with maturity...

Na now she wan cry abi? When she was enjoying it she didn't realise her atrocity?

What about your inlaw and friend?

[b]

2s£xy:
Hmmm... I see you have a soft heart. Too bad mine has been smashed until it became hard.

Bros, one question I have aside the wailing and plea is: What if you didn't find out do you think they would have stopped?

Some people may feel I am being wicked but honestly, that's crocodile tears to me. There are a lot of questions to be asked and seeing the age gap, that reminds me of Funmi Odukoya's book on marriage. It was stated there that marrying a young woman of early age could seem like a cage and she would want to explore more.

I have a friend based in the US who had similar issue. I can't state if she cheated on him but one fact that stood was that she opted OUT of the marriage that has 3 daughters. My friend tried everything possible to save the marriage but her mind was made up. He granted her wish and today, he is the one taking care of the 3 daughter and he is even doing a better job at it than, what I believe, the mother of the 3 girls. I later observed that it had to do with age and it seemed the girl/lady in question got married when she hadn't made up her mind and much at a younger age.

When girls in this category see their fellow mates still catching fun, they often fall prey. I am yet to see any of such girls handle it with maturity. Marriage comes with maturity...

Na now she wan cry abi? When she was enjoying it she didn't realise her atrocity?

What about your inlaw and friend?

[/b]

2s£xy:
Hmmm... I see you have a soft heart. Too bad mine has been smashed until it became hard.

Bros, one question I have aside the wailing and plea is: What if you didn't find out do you think they would have stopped?

Some people may feel I am being wicked but honestly, that's crocodile tears to me. There are a lot of questions to be asked and seeing the age gap, that reminds me of Funmi Odukoya's book on marriage. It was stated there that marrying a young woman of early age could seem like a cage and she would want to explore more.

I have a friend based in the US who had similar issue. I can't state if she cheated on him but one fact that stood was that she opted OUT of the marriage that has 3 daughters. My friend tried everything possible to save the marriage but her mind was made up. He granted her wish and today, he is the one taking care of the 3 daughter and he is even doing a better job at it than, what I believe, the mother of the 3 girls. I later observed that it had to do with age and it seemed the girl/lady in question got married when she hadn't made up her mind and much at a younger age.

When girls in this category see their fellow mates still catching fun, they often fall prey. I am yet to see any of such girls handle it with maturity. Marriage comes with maturity...

Na now she wan cry abi? When she was enjoying it she didn't realise her atrocity?

What about your inlaw and friend?

What u said in paragrapgh too also caught my attention, what if i dint discover this on time? will they have owned up and beg like they are doing now? i doubt it.hmmmm

Bros, it's all a mind game... And women of this kind don't leave that tool out.

They didn't just do it, they even brought you and your sister's issues during the act and laughed over it.

Where is the love and respect in that? A woman who does not respect you can do ANYTHING.

Also factor in valeree's perception or why was her mother hidding it and even got to know about it first? It means her mother knows a lot of secret about her, many of which the father had always kicked against.

She is likely to repeat it in the future as years catch up with you.

And nobody will blame her but you.

peciouslove: [color=#000099][/color][/b][b][b][/b]

What u said in paragrapgh too also caught my attention, what if i dint discover this on time? will they have owned up and beg like they are doing now? i doubt it.hmmmm

When woman wanna act, they don't care how you feel:

https://www.nairaland.com/1412635/wife-ex

this is what you get when you are too soft.

Please read this and learn something : https://www.nairaland.com/396243/how-maintain-control-woman

Bros from the way u are sounding, its seems she will soon come back to your house. Honestly, i still feel its better both of you should stay away from each other. But its your call

Valeree:
She is Far younger than you! Hmmm.. Then It is not her fault, u should hav waited maybe another year or two b4 talking her into marriage.. Kindly forgive her, but be rest assured dat wen u reach middle age, dis issue have a high tendency of repeating itself and I don't blame her, then when u are old and tired just be praying dat she still respects u. Finally age gap between couple really matters.

I tried as much as possible nt to say this but you must be deviated to from normal state of health to say she's not guilty because of her age.
@op.I'm not married and thus my advice on your final decision may not be the best for you as I may not really know what it's like to be in your shoe but what I will tell you is that whichever decision,it should be the one you will be able to live with the rest of your life and make sure your decision is not affected in anyway by your wife's plea or soberness(it's only normal if she does that) or your MIL plea and also your own emotion.
And I think you should tell your sister about it cos believe,it may be later on but she will definitely find out and please no matter your decision,you should cut ties with the m0ronic f00l you call an inlaw.
WISH YOU THE BEST

so OP have you taken your decision yet?

Monicasque: so OP have you taken your decision yet?

I havent taken any decision yet dear. but i guess its still too fresh and soon to come to an hasty decision...only time will tell

@op, seriously, i cried reading dis post...many ppl are hrtless.

my piece of advice is dat, pls, forgive her as tym goes on u will truly knw who she is
nd as tym goes on u will forget it...

buklan4real@yah:
@op, seriously, i cried reading dis post...many ppl are hrtless.

my piece of advice is dat, pls, forgive her as tym goes on u will truly knw who she is
nd as tym goes on u will forget it...

Tnanks im trying to forgive them( the two parties), but more difficult forgetting.... Thank God this story is not juicy like a screaming headline ' HUSBAND BEHEAD WIFE AND BROTHER IN LAW FOR COMMITTING ADULTERY!'

peciouslove:

Tnanks im trying to forgive them( the two parties), but more difficult forgetting.... Thank God this story is not juicy like a screaming headline ' HUSBAND BEHEAD WIFE AND BROTHER IN LAW FOR COMMITTING ADULTERY!'

Tank God oooo. u handling it with d fear of God.
if it shud b a mear person do u knw wot he might av done.....

probably, dere story will b in all d breaking news

peciouslove:

I havent taken any decision yet dear. but i guess its still too fresh and soon to come to an hasty decision...only time will tell

Note: I want to ask you. Dont you think its safer to marry someone you dont really love so much? In that case this kinda decision will be so quick and in a flash! no thinking required? this is just food for thought

SLIDE waxie: Dude,
Sorry u got a wrong girl.

Now,

1. Don't keep it in... It will shatter u!
Go tell ur sister, confront the husband, dissolve the business...dn listen to ur wife's mother and get a divorce!

2. Face ur life..like i said..u got the wrong girl.

3. Dnt wait for sympathy, dnt alllow people pity u, dnt wait as they try to talk u outta it...it will sink u!

4. Be flexible! Dnt build a wall around urself..have fun

5. If she has a baby for u..keep it...it will keep u going..

Dude..it aint easy..and i can bet it with u...if u think because someone is so big in ur hands, u shld listen to them, then u are a dead man!

U can't live seeing her face, and i doubt if u will even be able to have a normal sex with her..

U think lemme forgive her, with time, u will heal..

Dnt..

Best advice so far.

Hhhmmmmm....am speechless!!..

am 3months frm my wedding nd dis got me tinkn real hard.......@op......uur wife must tell u y she did wot she did cos its impossible to solve such a problem superficially. notin hapens just like dat.....ther must b a reason, either its spiritual or a dangerous bad habit.. sumtin caused it. knowing wil help u heal cos a probllem known is a problem half solved. find d root cause of dis atrocity. although it'l b difficult to do buh i suggestt u forgiv her.....buh not now ooh......giv it time say 3-4months let her stay away for nw....i say dis because d devil u know is far better than an angel u dnt knw.

segzicres: The truth is you will mever trust her, you will always remember amd hate her, this will on turn you into a bitter person at home which youncoukd transfer that aggression to your kids. You will become very aggressive towards women too. IMO best thing to do is dump her, move ahead. Forget the stupid naija mentality, try to be a happy person and be with someone you can trust. I may be wrong but inalso have that same feeling you got bwfore you got married

u said it all..... .......oga beta send her out or u experience d worst,some women has brought dis boy friend mentality of shiting in to marriage,I wonder were dis 21 century z leading us tooo.......most time I hear girl's saying I love big dick now I knw wat deh re talking abt bt dat nonsense....neva u forgive pls,in other to save ur happiness in life.bt sha ooo wonder will neva end..girls I just deh smile owner dirty behaviour.