Babe it depends on hw much is involved 4 eg if he nids 100k,giv him 40 or any amount u knw u won't really really feel bad if he dosnt pay bck on tym or pay u at al. Let him go nd sought d remanin 60k himself. R u his bank self

freecocoa: The problem here is that they are now having issues cos of this, he hasn't collected the money as he's angry that she asked for collateral and now she thinks it will lead to them breaking up.

I advised her to maintain her ground, she's confused about giving him to make him happy and save her relationship or not.

When it comes to money matter,you would see the true characters of human beings.I no fit,I repeat again,I no fit borrow man wey never marry me that kind of money when I get brothers full house wey dey hustle.The day wey I try am,I trust my friends,them go bundle me with robe carry me go Ogun State go commot vegetable wey o chop.

freecocoa: Jay bee darling, I know this lady well and she has been in a situation like this before with the money not being recovered, she's just trying to avoid trouble and loss of her money.

Even the more reason why she has to say a big No If she has been in the situation before. The guy will only get angry and probably get over it. However, if he does decide to break up with her because of that then it simply was never meant to be. It’s as simple as that.
Absolutely no point risking her money when there is already an evidence that he is a bad debtor.

freecocoa:
Honestly I don't see what's there to be angry about if he intends to pay back, this is her hard earned money we are talking about, about just saying she doesn't like lending money. I believe that would be worse cos he knows she has the money.

People that borrow always have intention to pay back but conditions/events which most times is always out of their control decides if the money would be paid back.
Like I said in my earlier post, she has only two realistic options
1) She says no because of the past experience
2) She gives what she can afford

400k is a lot of money for her to be risking for love. They are not married so no amount of guarantee can mitigate against the inherent risks involved

freecocoa: The problem here is that they are now having issues cos of this, he hasn't collected the money as he's angry that she asked for collateral and now she thinks it will lead to them breaking up.

I advised her to maintain her ground, she's confused about giving him to make him happy and save her relationship or not.

If it leads to breakup, that means the guy never loved her. he wanted to dupe her of her hard earn 400k and check out. malegolddigger on the loose.

lynpetra: When it comes to money matter,you would see the true characters of human beings.I no fit,I repeat again,I no fit borrow man wey never marry me that kind of money when I get brothers full house wey dey hustle.The day wey I try am,I trust my friends,them go bundle me with robe carry me go Ogun State.

Lol , my dear no be small thing o.

In my own case after he refused to pay, I just barged into his house and started taking his properties, it led to him calling my sister who called my dad, that was how I got my money back o, if I didn't display craze my money for go just like that.

nawao...na just boyfriend oo,why she no go request for agreement? if he wants her to help him that's different,but this type of help ends in story telling...i don't see what the fuse is all about...if he intends to oay back,why not sign it,besides,trust is only gained through certain circumstanses like this,him being her boyfriend doesn't warrant trust in this issue.

But if it's a gal that wanted to borrow money from her boo,hmmm it will be much worse,so i understand why the guy should be angry.

In Big sean's voice- i got trust issues....am sorry for d ppl i pushed out bc of money...


Freecocoa....are you the lady that...uh uh

LOL! 400K?! Me was thinking she wanted collateral for five thousand

She shouldn't even give him; they aren't even married, the guy may bail.

He should go to the bank.

jay bee:
Even the more reason why she has to say a big No If she has been in the situation before. The guy will only get angry and probably get over it. However, if he does decide to break up with her because of that then it simply was never meant to be. It’s as simple as that.
Absolutely no point risking her money when there is already an evidence that he is a bad debtor.


People that borrow always have intention to pay back but conditions/events which most times is always out of their control decides if the money would be paid back.
Like I said in my earlier post, she has only two realistic options
1) She says no because of the past experience
2) She gives what she can afford

400k is a lot of money for her to be risking for love. They are not married so no amount of guarantee can mitigate against the inherent risks involved

Now you are talking .

Btw it was her ex that borrowed and never paid back but still, once bitten.....

lynpetra: If the guy go break up because of that,no probs,as long has d babe money still dey cool off inside her account.Women wud always be women,when it comes to money,a wise man should over look our childish behavior!

YOU!!!



#TeamGOM

Money and Romance are two different ministries. Mingling them together is dangerous.

freecocoa: So my man asked me to lend him some money 3 days ago, I agreed under the condition that he'd sign an agreement stating when he'll pay up, plus collateral incase he ends up not paying as at the agreed time.

He thought I was joking at first but became angry when he realized I was serious, now its causing problems for us, at first I felt like I did the wrong thing but seeing the way he's reacting to the whole thing is making me angry.

I tried getting him to talk about it but he said asking for such meant I didn't trust him and I said no, I trust you but this is different, I'm doing this cos I don't want it to cause problems for us later, he left angrily and we haven't talked since then, I tried calling but he won't answer, now I'm thinking this would lead to a break up cos why react this way if he really intended to pay?

My people abeg, what crime have I committed here? I'd really love to know if I did the wrong thing hence my asking for your opinions, thanks.

P.S I'm representing the lady involved with her permission.

Just tell us that you are the lady in question.

Yahoo1:


Freecocoa....are you the girl that owe me a date?

Depends on why you want a date.

Danhumprey: Just tell us that you are the lady in question.

She is undatable so I know shes telling the truth..

jay bee: What prompted her to ask for collateral or him signing an agreement?

I would be mad as well if i was in his shoes as that single action can be interpreted as she not trusting me as her partner.

What i always ask people to do if they aren't comfortable loaning someone money is, give what you can afford or just categorically state you don't like loaning people money

GBAM!!!

The boss has spoken!

Danhumprey: Just tell us that you are the lady in question.

I wish I had 400k now.

Mr Aboki:



She is undatable so I know shes telling the truth..

Ofcourse I am, married women are supposed to be 'undateable'.

Don't derail this thread o.

freecocoa: Lol , my dear no be small thing o.

In my own case after he refused to pay, I just barged into his house and started taking his properties, it led to him calling my sister who called my dad, that was how I got my money back o, if I didn't display craze my money for go just like that.

Your own better,my one naira no come out o .But I understood then that he was sooooooo broke.But life with its twists and turns,the guy na big boy now.He really appreciated my understanding.But I no go lie,that money pain me like needle .Even when I told him to forget about the money,my face be like Shi..Ty wey agbero stone for wall.

Iaz93: If a lady asks her bf for money and the guy dares mention collateral or any agreement of when she'll pay back, that guy will be labelled Stingy, selfish, and so on... but now see!

Chai! Stingy gf!

Don't mind them!


You are dating somebody,you should be able to trust that person. If the man has,he would spend alot on you without asking for collateral,and if you have,don't hesitate to lend or even give him freely. Why ask for collateral?

Danhumprey: Don't mind them!


You are dating somebody,you should be able to trust that person. If the man has,he would spend alot on you without asking for collateral,and if you have,don't hesitate to lend or even give him freely. Why ask for collateral?

Give 400K freely?

Iaz93: LOL! 400K?! Me was thinking she wanted collateral for five thousand

She shouldn't even give him; they aren't even married, the guy may bail.

He should go to the bank.

Abeg which brand of drink you dey likeI go pay

freecocoa: Ofcourse I am, married women are supposed to be 'undateable'.

Don't derail this thread o.

sorry ma'am

Bleble-swag:
dat guy no wa pay dats y im act lik dat, na dis kind tym wey money dey hard dey dey do 'is because i luv u o!' 4 money issue, abeg make im dey e yard.

English please!

Danhumprey: Don't mind them!


You are dating somebody,you should be able to trust that person. If the man has,he would spend alot on you without asking for collateral,and if you have,don't hesitate to lend or even give him freely. Why ask for collateral?

The fact he spends on her doesnt mean he is entitled to get whatever he wants from her.She has the right to say "No".He also has the right to leave the relationship.It's a free world as ling as you aren't in jail.

Danhumprey: Don't mind them!


You are dating somebody,you should be able to trust that person. If the man has,he would spend alot on you without asking for collateral,and if you have,don't hesitate to lend or even give him freely. Why ask for collateral?

Did hear yourself? Spend on her without collateral, since when does spending and lending mean the same thing? And who says ladies don't spend on their men?

Bleble-swag:
dat guy no wa pay dats y im act lik dat, na dis kind tym wey money dey hard dey dey do 'is because i luv u o!' 4 money issue, abeg make im dey e yard.

Abi o

freecocoa: Did hear yourself? Spend on her without collateral, since when does spending and lending mean the same thing? And who says ladies don't spend on their men?

Freecocoa, no go there o! Some ladies don't spend on their men.

400k is a lot of money. Its very good to trust o but,verify.

It could be that the way she presented the agreement stuff was wat made him angry. Else, i see nothing wrong in wat she did,given the said amount.

They should have a long but matured discussion and come to an agreement. They are adults n im sure each knows wat is good for him/her.

pasqal09:

Give 400K freely?

I didn't know. The OP didn't state the exact amount of money in her first post,so I assumed it wasn't much that he was asking for.

Well,she shouldn't give him. Signing the collateral won't even help much. Rather,let him go borrow from the bank. Whatever collateral he signed there,would be sure and secured.

lynpetra: Abeg which brand of drink you dey likeI go pay

Kunu

freecocoa: Ofcourse I am, married women are supposed to be 'undateable'.

Don't derail this thread o.

Madam.....


Tell your friend that she should do the right the and end the relationship..

If your Boy|girl friend, spouse, fiance(e), partner or wife has to write a letter, sign an undertaking, bring witnesses or give a collateral to obtain a loan from you, then you have no business being together.

The fundamentals in every relationship includes;

- Trust
- Communication
- Care
- love
- Respect
- sharing
- forgiveness
- e.t.c

Its obvious that these dont exist in this relationship. The fact that she has experienced a disappointment from a previous loan (does not necessarily mean she should hold it against him). Except she wants to have a relationship that is filled with grudge.

The only reason why any person would need some sort of guarantee for a loan is because they dont trust in the ability of that person to keep to his side of the bargain.


Your friend is in a bad relationship... #Period!


There are no guarantees in love, life and relationships.. If not, a guy should not do anything for his girl without demanding some sort of guarantee of repayment. Some men pay the tuition of their partners through school only for the girls to graduate and dump the guys. Same way many women invest their lives in one man only for him to up and act a fool.


This story annoys me to my bones.. If the guy is still dating her, he is the bigger fool. Not because of the money, but simply because he is marrying a cun|t.

It would have been better if she said she didnt have the money rather than ask for a collateral.

I fink she did d ryt tin by askin 4 a collateral cos av bn in a situation wer afta borrowin ma bf som money, he refused payin back n afta a wile i decided 2 break up wit hm n til 2day he aint aware of d reason we broke up. N if he wants a break up as a result of dat, let hm go cos if u eventualy setle down wit ds kindda guy, ur doomed cos he'l leav u wit al d family responsiblities 2 cater 4.