Idowuogbo:
I repeat, different strokes for different folks.

I agree. The ones who borrow money and do not like to return it will take offense to this

Subom1: By their words you shall know them. Stop thinking from your anus. If you went to a restaurant and the food was rotten. Would you go to that same restaurant and eat from there again? It's human nature to be more cautious when you have had a bad experience(unless you are a certified Mumu). If he really needs that money and after what he knows his gf has been through, signing will not be a problem unless in his heart he is not planning to pay her back.

And u need to stop typing with d muscles in your anuz.I'll rada be blunt with him and tell him I can't afford to lend him money cus he has a habit of not paying back loans. Dats my way! If he decides to end d relationship, oh well! Good riddance to bad rubbish.

Subom1: I agree. The ones who borrow money and do not like to return it will take offense to this

If u say so.

It all depend on the actual reason for the Loan, since we dnt know why the guy needs the money, I can't advice in this case...Make him no use the girl money go pay another woman bride price, So guys will do it. So give us in details why d guy needs the money, and if the guy refuse to share that info, I advice the girl not to give him a dime..#my opinion #

Re you ladies suggesting that all monetary transactions btw a guy and his girl be done with hard copy.....that would include ensuring that all cars, cloths, jewelries, phones and other stuffs bought by him would bear his name in the reciept as insurance cos you never can tell... my argument is that most guys do these things ( even much more) for their girls and they never ever demand collateral not to talk asking for an agreement. But when itz the ladies turn you see sentiments going along with it. I have heard girls that cry that they bought this and that for thier guy as if the dude was one wretch they picked from the gutter...you ll never hear them talk about even the minute thing the guy did for them.........if you want to base your relationships on collateral nd signed agreements then I think you should date a bank.

sunnydayasaba: It all depend on the actual reason for the Loan, since we dnt know why the guy needs the money, I can't advice in this case...Make him no use the girl money go pay another woman bride price, So guys will do it. So give us in details why d guy needs the money, and if the guy refuse to share that info, I advice the girl not to give him a dime..#my opinion #

I agree with you.

Freecocoa, why does he need the money? what does he do? Are his parents aware of their relationship? I have read Idowu's responses and I believe her way is the way to go. 400k is a lot to lose, but the lady in question didn't act well. As a guy, my pride will never let me ask for money from my babe but I would feel insulted if a lady that professes to love me asks me for a collateral and a contract to give me a loan. Is she a bank? She should have just said No straight up.

Mr Aboki:

If he wanted someone who would make him sign a surety or put down a collateral, he would have gone to a Bank.

Whats the point of having a partner that you cant fall back on. Even I would be offended and if you arent offended that your girlfriend asked you for such, then you probably have no self-respect. I would rather borrow from a stranger with collateral and interest rather than sign a surety and leave a collateral with my girlfriend..

Exactly, that is why he did not go because he knows he does not want to pay back as well as all the interest. The girl could have easily lied and said she had no money, but she wanted to help her boyfriend but she wants security as she has been played before. If you are dating a girl and she wants to borrow 1million and you give her and she doesn't pay back and then the next girl comes along. Will you do same thing without any hesitation. If you are looking for a relationship where you can borrow large sums of money from women then i suggest you get yourself a sugar mama

Idowuogbo:
And u need to stop typing with d muscles in your anuz.I'll rada be blunt with him and tell him I can't afford to lend him money cus he has a habit of not paying back loans. Dats my way! If he decides to end d relationship, oh well! Good riddance to bad rubbish.

Did you read the story at all. The lady HAS the money, but she wants security because her last boyfriend borrowed money from her and did not pay her back. There is nothing said about him having a habit of not paying back. Like you said. Everyone is different. If i experienced a bad thing, i will surely be hesitant next time because that is how i am. There will always be those who will keep doing the same thing over and over then at end of day will cry that some ppl/men are wicked yet they themselves were mumu too.

Subom1: Exactly, that is why he did not go because he knows he does not want to pay back as well as all the interest. The girl could have easily lied and said she had no money, but she wanted to help her boyfriend but she wants security as she has been played before. If you are dating a girl and she wants to borrow 1million and you give her and she doesn't pay back and then the next girl comes along. Will you do same thing without any hesitation. If you are looking for a relationship where you can borrow large sums of money from women then i suggest you get yourself a sugar mama

Subomi forget all this sense knowledge you are typing here.

You need to get into a relationship in which you can trust with your life. It's rare and life experiences teach otherwise but that's the ideal way to go and the OP shouldn't be dating any guy she doesn't trust.

She should have just made up a story as to why the funds are tied up and she can't help.

Op, I understand how hard it could be to decide on issues like this if u dnt trust the guy, I have a friend that his girlfriend gave him #3 million she borrowed frm her friends and relatives to start a business and today, my friend has paid back every dime and he's even married to the girl, If u trust the guy, u dnt need our advice to make that decision, Verbal promise is enough, even if he lose the entire money to wrongful business, u will still be happy u gave it to him in trust and good faith, But I think ur dating a wrong guy that's why u need our advice to make decision, People still do alot more for people they love, some guys even give out private organs to safe the life of people they love, how much more money, I think the guy over reacted though, but I really don't blame him and u too, He needed to jst talk u through it wit little assurance. 400k is a lot of money, But if u think if he misuse it, it will hurt u real bad and u can never forgive him, dnt even bother to give him, cus not even the written agreement will bring back ur money, Even if u report to Police, they will simply advice him to pay instalmentally, so weigh ur love, trust and commitment wit him before making ur decision, cus the sign agreement is even not enough, If he's truly a sharp guy, he will sign the stupid paper and work away with ur money and u will lose in every way. So I feel for the guy...He must really love u, but guess u jst dnt trust him enough to part wit that amount on verbal agreement.

Donxavier:

Subomi forget all this sense knowledge you are typing here.

You need to get into a relationship in which you can trust with your life. It's rare and life experiences teach otherwise but that's the ideal way to go and the OP shouldn't be dating any guy she doesn't trust.

She should have just made up a story as to why the funds are tied up and she can't help.

Lol it is true but actually we also do not know how long they have been dating, how well does she actually know him etc? The fact that she is having doubts says a lot. A woman should always trust her instincts because majority of the time it is right. Unfortunately the world is not a happy place with honest, trustworthy and faithful partners so must you fool yourself or be in a dream world? Trust is earned, if i am in a relationship where for example my partner does not trust me 100 percent and we are both serious abt each other. If i have nothing to hide will do anything to prove my trust to him and he should do same thing. It gets worse when the person has been hurt before. It's human nature.

Subom1:

Lol it is true but actually we also do not know how long they have been dating, how well does she actually know him etc? The fact that she is having doubts says a lot. A woman should always trust her instincts because majority of the time it is right. Unfortunately the world is not a happy place with honest, trustworthy and faithful partners so must you fool yourself or be in a dream world? Trust is earned, if i am in a relationship where for example my partner does not trust me 100 percent and we are both serious abt each other. If i have nothing to hide will do anything to prove my trust to him and he should do same thing. It gets worse when the person has been hurt before. It's human nature.

Let's look at it like this. For a real gold digger, does the contract signing mitigate what she is trying to avoid? Even if he signs the contracts and agrees to collateral blah blah blah does that stop him from walking away with the whole money?

Donxavier:

Let's look at it like this. For a real gold digger, does the contract signing mitigate what she is trying to avoid? Even if he signs the contracts and agrees to collateral blah blah blah does that stop him from walking away with the whole money?

Yes but at least she can take legal action and has proof. It's much better then he said, she said scenario. By his actions alone, even if he eventually wants to sign, i would not give him the money because i know i wont get it back.

Donxavier:

Let's look at it like this. For a real gold digger, does the contract signing mitigate what she is trying to avoid? Even if he signs the contracts and agrees to collateral blah blah blah does that stop him from walking away with the whole money?

Well thought out.......people still dodge after collecting bank loans leaving thier suretees in a deep mess not to talk of girlfriend.......him signing any documents doesn't guarantee anything. If he wants to dupe her he ll still do it. If you like collect the keys to his Range Rover...........bet you forgot his has a spare..

Chicks like to eat their cake and have it at the same time. Am sure the guy has been spending on you well before this incident. Anyway I can never ask a woman for money so the guy brought this $hit on himself. Except the woman is your mother she will never let you be without hounding you for the money back.

Am guessing that the lady doesn't trust the guy to pay back hence the collateral request and she just told him so indirectly. I would be surprised if this relationship continues.

Subom1: Yes but at least she can take legal action and has proof. It's much better then he said, she said scenario. By his actions alone, even if he eventually wants to sign, i would not give him the money because i know i wont get it back.

Legal action.....Lwkmd she never jam . If na correct gold digger, she would spend more than the 400k to recover it back even with all the fake assurances she's requesting for.
I'm finding it hard to fault the guy abeg, if i was the one I would be furious too. How can my gf be demanding collateral from me If I wanted collateral I would have gone to the bank. Maybe the guy shouldn't have asked sef, that was probably his mistake. This one is too huge for their relationship too handle

Subom1: Did you read the story at all. The lady HAS the money, but she wants security because her last boyfriend borrowed money from her and did not pay her back. There is nothing said about him having a habit of not paying back. Like you said. Everyone is different. If i experienced a bad thing, i will surely be hesitant next time because that is how i am. There will always be those who will keep doing the same thing over and over then at end of day will cry that some ppl/men are wicked yet they themselves were mumu too.

It's a new relationship for God's sake! D new guy has nothing to do with d past. Personally, I'll test him and see if it'll help conquer my trust issues. I'll lend him an amount I can afford to loose and see if he'll payback. Love involves great risk, without trust deres no relationship. Come on!!! If d said guy signs d contract and does a runner with d money, Who laughs last?

Donxavier:

Legal action.....Lwkmd she never jam . If na correct gold digger, she would spend more than the 400k to recover it back even with all the fake assurances she's requesting for.
I'm finding it hard to fault the guy abeg, if i was the one I would be furious too. How can my gf be demanding collateral from me If I wanted collateral I would have gone to the bank. Maybe the guy shouldn't have asked sef, that was probably his mistake. This one is too huge for their relationship too handle

Its funny how people think the guy signing a paper automatically means the guy is willing to pay back.

A-ZeD:


Its funny how people think the guy signing a paper automatically means the guy is willing to pay back.

Outside Nigeria legal action can be taken against him. Anyways you are right. The best thing would be not to give him. I cannot lend money to anybody i do not trust.

Idowuogbo:
It's a new relationship for God's sake! D new guy has nothing to do with d past. Personally, I'll test him and see if it'll help conquer my trust issues. I'll lend him an amount I can afford to loose and see if he'll payback. Love involves great risk, without trust deres no relationship. Come on!!! If d said guy signs d contract and does a runner with d money, Who laughs last?

I hear you

Subom1: Outside Nigeria legal action can be taken against him. Anyways you are right. The best thing would be not to give him. I cannot lend money to anybody i do not trust.

Thats outside Nigeria.
How can you be in a relationship where you do not trust your partner? For those who said they are not yet married (including Subom1), what is their relationship all about?

A-ZeD:

Thats outside Nigeria.
How can you be in a relationship where you do not trust your partner? For those who said they are not yet married (including Subom1), what is their relationship all about?

Even outside naija sef it will cost her in legal fees and all. By the time they drag the case out she would have almost spent the money she loaned out. So what's the point? The real issue is what is she doing with the guy if she doesn't trust him?

Donxavier:

Even outside naija sef it will cost her in legal fees and all. By the time they drag the case out she would have almost spent the money she loaned out. So what's the point? The real issue is what is she doing with the guy if she doesn't trust him?

Maybe because the devil you know, is better than the angel you don't know. I am in a relationship and i trust my bf 95% but not 100%, because at times i have doubts or thoughts etc, he is a good guy at end of day so am not going to leave him because i do not trust him 100%.

Anyway if the man is a great giver himself and genuinely had need for assistance i would if i had, BUT not when he hardly ever gave me any, then suddenly coming to ask me for some, ONE GOOD TURN DESERVES ANOTHER U KNOW!

Most importantly On the issue of borrowing; don’t lend it to him if you know that you still need that money; it’s either you give him and forget about it, or you tell him you don’t have any money.

And finally avoid making it a habit of giving him money regularly because he might just turn you into his private bank

A-ZeD:

Thats outside Nigeria.
How can you be in a relationship where you do not trust your partner? For those who said they are not yet married (including Subom1), what is their relationship all about?

they stil dey trust nowadays?

A-ZeD:

Thats outside Nigeria.
How can you be in a relationship where you do not trust your partner? For those who said they are not yet married (including Subom1), what is their relationship all about?

Exactly, i am not in a relationship with someone i don't trust. Secondly was refering in general, not only in a relationship. You also get friends who will not pay you back.

Bleble-swag:

they stil dey trust nowadays?

Yep!

Idowuogbo:
Yep!

ok. but me i dnt trust anybody at all nt even d man i wil ve my kids 4, nt even u Idowu, cos u cn snatch my man

Bleble-swag:

ok. but me i dnt trust anybody at all nt even d man i wil ve my kids 4, nt even u Idowu, cos u cn snatch my man

What a way to live

totalbaby: What a way to live

You can imagine .....smh funny thing is it's a self fulfilling prophecy.

Bleble-swag:

ok. but me i dnt trust anybody at all nt even d man i wil ve my kids 4, nt even u Idowu, cos u cn snatch my man

Smh! U'll receive your healing IJN

totalbaby: What a way to live

It is well...