Mr Aboki:





Did you seriously ask this?!

So how does the collateral give her the money in the event that he defaults on the loan?!

Or the Surety?


All she is gathering is evidence for incase she has to call the Police on the Nigga..






When I go to my father for a loan, he does not ask for a collateral or surety because;

1. He has a 'RELATIONSHIP' with me.
2. He 'TRUSTS' me.


#Period...

The collateral is so that she can sell whatever he brings if the money doesn't turn up.

Op abeg, if the guy ain ready to sign the agreement then let him find someone else to loan him the money or better still Let him go loan the money from a bank! The fact that the girl is his girlfriend does not in any way mean she's a fool that doesn' know the value of money!

Bleble-swag:
dat guy no wa pay dats y im act lik dat, na dis kind tym wey money dey hard dey dey do 'is because i luv u o!' 4 money issue, abeg make im dey e yard.

Wow!!!

How would you feel if your boyfriend asked for all this for a loan?
According to her story, she never mention anytin about the guy's past record about money........

It clearly shows that she doesn't trust him which means they are been fooling around thinking their in a relationship

Abeg op, dont mind Mr Aboki o, men like him wont tell u d truth, until its his sister.ur relationship wit ur parents is different, u av had years of building unconditional trust, so d whole father-loan thing doznt wash.if she doesnt feel comfy wit it ,dont loan without collateral. Personally, i wouldnt loan him even with d collateral(from personal experience). All d not picking calls and so on is what we call emotional blackmail, a real hustling guy who has d intention of paying back will probably sign d IOU,use d money, return it, den treat her Bleep-up (as he perceives it). Make she no gel give am d money like dat, one should be wary of such guys with such a huge sense of entitlement.

Been reading thru de responses here,
@op,
your friend and and de guy are not in a.relationship,,,period!

i say so cos if yur friend knows the guy has some questionable attitude towards debt, no meaningful source of income or even she doubts him so much, then dey ought not to be together.
it would.havve been nice if the lady says that she doesnt have and advice him to borrow from some other person, she can.even.be the surety or give the person the money to borrow to de guy.

there is a huge TRUST and communication issue between dem.
personnaly i cant ask for funds from a lady that would fail me like dis.

the lady's approach was not nicely presented and OP helped aggravated the issue while de lady suffers the repercussion.

its a pity but dey dont need to be together.

Konnektions146: Been reading thru de responses here,
@op,
your friend and and de guy are not in a.relationship,,,period!

i say so cos if yur friend knows the guy has some questionable attitude towards debt, no meaningful source of income or even she doubts him so much, then dey ought not to be together.
it would.havve been nice if the lady says that she doesnt have and advice him to borrow from some other person, she can.even.be the surety or give the person the money to borrow to de guy.

there is a huge TRUST and communication issue between dem.
personnaly i cant ask for funds from a lady that would fail me like dis.

the lady's approach was not nicely presented and OP helped aggravated the issue while de lady suffers the repercussion.

its a pity but dey dont need to be together.

Yes. Op is known for her caustic tongue.

@ Konnektions,i didn't do anything o .

Anyways to each their own but I know I ain't lending no boyfriend money that I can't forfeit if I must there must be a form of proof, simples.

BoboYekini: Yes. Op is known for her caustic tongue.

And you think I care what you think of me because?

freecocoa: And you think I care what you think of me because?

Abegii

The only mistake I think the gl made was asking for collateral, it would have been perfect if she had said an outright no I don't have any money dan demanding for a collateral. Considering the amount involved here and also putting into consideration how urgent he needs de money she should have given him wat she thinks she can afford without de hussles of collateral and believe me honestly de guy would have appreciated it even more.

To de guys guy thinking she did de right thing wait and let it happen to u den u will know how feels. To the ladies feeling funky how do u think u will feel when u have a loved one in the hospital and de only dude dat can help is ur boo and he asked u for collateral? And bear in mind dat u r not even sure of how to return de money o! Pls let all think of de future and not use de past to to judge a present situation de table might turn tommorrow Or how would u feel wen u need a kidney transplant and ur donor which his is compatible with urs is ur boo and he now asked for a collateral b4 anything can be done.

P.s ; ur friend can also forget about de guy cause she herself blew away de relationship she would have been better off by saying "I no get money " and everything will end there lobatan.

freecocoa: @ Konnektions,i didn't do anything o .

Anyways to each their own but I know I ain't lending no boyfriend money that I can't forfeit if I must there must be a form of proof, simples.

what if the table is turned, would u frown if your man gives u such.condition?

my issue is that the situation would ve been better managed......#communication#
even common sense would have made de lady approach this in more cautious manner cos no matter how you see it, any man you call boyfriend means a little if not much to you and if anything happens and you experience turbulence in the relationship,

you definitely would feel it.

that's why i say, if you can't manage heart breaks and disappointments, please wait till you grow up cos this happened cos the lady couldn't manage herself well enough cos of transferred effect of the failed relationShip earlier

Konnektions146:
what if the table is turned, would u frown if your man gives u such.condition?

my issue is that the situation would ve been better managed......#communication#
even common sense would have made de lady approach this in more cautious manner cos no matter how you see it, any man you call boyfriend means a little if not much to you and if anything happens and you experience turbulence in the relationship,

you definitely would feel it.

that's why i say, if you can't manage heart breaks and disappointments, please wait till you grow up cos this happened cos the lady couldn't manage herself well enough cos of transferred effect of the failed relationShip earlier

Abeg jor, y'all are talking as if 400k is chicken change, he was gonna use the money for business anyways so just what's the ish here? If my bf asked me to sign an IOU before he lends me money, I'll sign it which I've said before, I'm sure if he waited and talked about it, they would have reached a reasonable conclusion instead he walked out angrily because he was asked to sign, so she's just supposed to hand out her money because he said so?

Tomorrow now when he refuses to pay up people will start blaming her for giving him money in the first place, abeg make una spare me that love and trust nonsense, na person wey never see anything dey talk say "I will do anything for love"

freecocoa: Abeg jor, y'all are talking as if 400k is chicken change, he was gonna use the money for business anyways so just what's the ish here? If my bf asked me to sign an IOU before he lends me money, I'll sign it which I've said before, I'm sure if he waited and talked about it, they would have reached a reasonable conclusion instead he walked out angrily because he was asked to sign, so she's just supposed to hand out her money because he said so?

Tomorrow now when he refuses to pay up people will start blaming her for giving him money in the first place, abeg make una spare me that love and trust nonsense, na person wey never see anything dey talk say "I will do anything for love"

Cocoa..

If she had told him that she didnt have the money, it would not be an issue.. But to tell your lover to sign a paper and provide a collateral for a loan is a definite NO no!

Mr Aboki:

Cocoa..

If she had told him that she didnt have the money, it would not be an issue.. But to tell your lover to sign a paper and provide a collateral for a loan is a definite NO no!

He knows she has the money because he asked and she said yes before asking for the loan, it is not a NO no as far as I'm concerned.

Women and money.....if a lady asks a guy for money and he asks her to sign some papers. ....I bet she ll come to d conclusion dat he doesn't love her....women re kinda selfish when it comes to funds....

If d guy has bin spending on d girl, I don't see any reason in d girl telling him 2 sign. Abi na only guys dem suppose dey take money 4rm without pay back

^^^abi o.....my ex once borrowed 20k from me...while giving her I told her that I would never ask for it back....she promised heven and earth that she must repay......she never did nd I never talked about it....till now

Well, i think if the guy really needed the money for an important issue of which he believe he would pay back asap!
He should forget anything like getting angry or something, he should sign the said contract and agreement.
Even if everything flop or they later break up... The court will only ask the guy his terms of payment thats all. No one can kill him.
Therefore OP, advice the guy but i never support collateral, or interest....
Well, for me i like everything to always be in writing....

But personally I dont suscribe to collecting money from your girl esp when she isnt married to you......they usually see it as a very big favour they are doing for you......and ll surley find a way to use it against you some how.

it depends on the relationship between the both of you and how close you guys are and also where the relationship is heading towards and also how much the guy do spend on you from my own point of view asking your partner to sign agreement and bring collateral before you assist him is kinda harsh it simply means you dont think he is worth the money and you dont trust him at all and you arent seeing any future 4 the both of you .

400K? What exactly is stopping the guy from going to the bank?

maybe there are other guys in the equation?

the ease and speed with which the word darling was dropped on the thread, would suggest that.

Danhumprey: English please! Stop breaking Rule number 21!

wats ur problem wit English? is dat ur language? abeg pack well joor

If you can't afford to lend him the money, then don't do it. He could as well go to a money lender if that's the case. More than likely i'd only let you borrow the amount i can afford to let go.

freecocoa: The collateral is so that she can sell whatever he brings if the money doesn't turn up.

No trust, no relationship. They need to go their separate ways

tpia@:
maybe there are other guys in the equation?

the ease and speed with which the word darling was dropped on the thread, would suggest that.

Mad people aren't allowed here please, I wonder when you will be confined to a room and your china phone confiscated, werey.

Let me read first b4 I represent kwanu

freecocoa: Mad people aren't allowed here please, I wonder when you will be confined to a room and your china phone confiscated, werey.

Thank Eledua it's Friday mehn! Lmaaaaaao!

na ehhh!! na every thing una dey bring for nairaland sef? Persin soup pour for ground, e come nairaland ask why. e eat, e come nairaland ask why! Abeg make una take am easy with all these whyyyyysssss.

freecocoa: Jay bee darling, I know this lady well and she has been in a situation like this before with the money not being recovered, she's just trying to avoid trouble and loss of her money.

Honestly I don't see what's there to be angry about if he intends to pay back, this is her hard earned money we are talking about, about just saying she doesn't like lending money. I believe that would be worse cos he knows she has the money.

Huh? Honey nowadays, I no just understand ur way again o! Seriously, is dat a relationship? How u gon tell ur bofy to sign a contract? Dats demeaning nau.... Better still,b blunt about it.Tell him point blank u no get money. D signing contract bisswazz is childish. I give, if I don't get it bck, I'll learn my lesson. Also tell d kids, Bado says " when mistrust comes in, love goes out". They have issues with trust they really need to work on.



Sefini!

Business & Pleasure aren't the same..


But it all depends on the level of trust & commitment..

Personally, if she ask me anything in form of loan, I'd give without thinking twice.. Infact how and when she'll pay will only come after transaction.

N.B: I can't always recommend my opinion..
We're not the same.