Efemena_xy:

I have no intention of answering personalized questions.
.

Just saw this
Its all hypothetical with you then

LOL

Ewuro707: Noticed a trend on here : Why does every discourse resort to Feminism, gender Equality , Battle of sexes etc?

Put yourselves in those hypothetic scenarios : what would you do if it were your Brother or Son ?

The Truth will set you free even tho it could be bitter to spill most times

Jidegirl?

Efemena_xy:

No, my story never changed and never will.

My very first statement was asking you lot to explain to me what the fuss was all about - just to make sure I was on the same page.

And yes I still maintain that at the end of the day, having voiced your concerns / fear / hypocrisy (as per pickabue's comments) everyone should then back off and mind their own business.

So what's the change in my stance??

Bia, biko, e don do, sogbo?

I just re-posted your first comment where you asked the poster to "mind her business" and "what is her gripe with the woman". If you now claim that means the should voice her concern, then I agree with you totally.

But I know better

pickabeau1:

I've answered you
Now it seems you are the one turning things
Its society
Its patriarchal
Its the way it is

No man likes to raise another's kids

Is that plain enough for you

Really.

And what constitutes society if not twisted minds like yours? After all, you've effectively told me it's the way it is simply because it's a man's world - yes?

No man likes to raise another's kids? Really?

Why do you assume the widow needs him to raise her kids? Hasn't she been doing that since the demise of her husband?? And what makes you think the man isn't aware that her children will always come priority?

You sound like the selfish sort of person that will tell a woman to her face: Send the kids to their grandparents to live else this relationship of ours won't progress. Besides, you assume the woman needs him more than he needs her. Ask yourself why a young man will be that interested in getting married to her. Who d'you think smacks of desperation here? The single guy or the widow?

pickabeau1:
No man likes to raise another's kids

Did someone put a noose around his neck threatening or begging him to raise 'another man's kids'??

You make me laugh, seriously!

^^^^ Laugh away....

Its also hilarious that all the e warriors are all hypothetical calling others twisted yet cannot answer a simple question of what they would do if it was their brother or son

NL ...

^^ Yeah, your views deserve to be laughed at Biolabee.

Nashville:

Ol boy, I agree with you 100%. Abeg interprete for Efe, she may not understand the proverb.

If you wanna level with me, speak English - I'm not Yoruba so your proverb(s) are all water off a duck's back as far as Efe's concerned.

Nashville:

Bia, biko, e don do, sogbo?

I just re-posted your first comment where you asked the poster to "mind her business" and "what is her gripe with the woman". If you now claim that means the should voice her concern, then I agree with you totally.

But I know better

Still doesn't prove that I 'changed' my story though, does it?

pickabeau1:

Just saw this
Its all hypothetical with you then

LOL

No, it's an intelligent, practical piece of advice.

When in a discussion, you'll do well to keep emotions and sentiments aside and be as objective as possible - a skill I hope you'll eventually grasp with time.

Ewuro707:

Thank you sir. Were dun wo loja but ko she bi lomo.

Later

Very apt

Efe...the proverb

It says a lunatic is good to view but not have close by

Figuratively its easy to pontificate on hypothetical scenarios but when close to home the mouth sings a different tune

^^^^^
@efe

Hahaha... You are really funny today..

Now its witty Wednesday?

Life is not a debate but real situations
You deciding not to personalise the scenario just smacks of a lack of realism

pickabeau1:


Very apt

Efe...the proverb

It says a lunatic is good to view but not have close by

Figuratively its easy to pontificate on hypothetical scenarios but when close to home the mouth sings a different tune

Okay, back to sender 1000 times.

I don't do insults, but then again, what more can one expect from a person with low-level intelligence?

If you can't hold your ground in an argument without resorting to degoratory words then kindly shut your trap and don't bother quoting or responding to my posts.

Thank You!

Efemena_xy:

Okay, back to sender 1000 times.

I don't do insults, but then again, what more can one expect from a person with low-level intelligence?

If you can't hold your ground in an argument without resorting to degoratory words then kindly shut your trap and don't bother quoting or responding to my posts.

Thank You!

I don't understand this
Are you referring to me

I did not insult you

No BB, don't laugh away!

Anyway, u hv hit the nail on the right spot.
That was what I had wanted to hear from the first post about this issue.
Exactly as u said it, its a man's world.

This has nothing to do with feminism.

^^^^^

Well wat can I say…………

its easy to pontificate on hypothetical scenarios but when close to home the mouth sings a different tune

Pls u guys shouldn't quarrel.
Though at times I feel like smoldering somebody!

yellowpawpaw: No BB, don't laugh away!

Anyway, u hv hit the nail on the right spot.
That was what I had wanted to hear from the first post about this issue.
Exactly as u said it, its a man's world.

This has nothing to do with feminism.

Before you shout feminism, answer my question. If your 22 year old daughter/sister wants to marry a 55 year old broke widower with three kids. What will your response be? Will you voice your concerns or you will embrace your daughter and start planning wedding the next day. We have reversed the scenario now where the man is the widower. Please tell us what your sincere reaction will be?

yellowpawpaw: Pls u guys shouldn't quarrel.
Though at times I feel like smoldering somebody!

No one is quarrelling
Just a basic case of realism vs idealism

Nashville, if my 18yrs old says a 60 year old man is her choice, after asking the necessary questions, I will bless her and wish her the best.
I rnt a stiff and strict human being.
The way I was allowed to make my choice in marriage w'out interferance(thanks to my mom) is the way I will not interfer in her own.
Nash, u live in a developed country I assume?
A sixteen year old teen in US has made her path and very independent not to talk of 22 yrs.
We so much interfer in others affairs in this part of the world that it has stiffled our development.

The next thing I will hear now is that its part of our culture.

My big aunt married one ugly man like that. Mummy said they asked her why( quite unlike them)and she insisted she loved him. They let her be. That was her choice and she never regretd it.
Her ppe saw an ugly man but big aunt saw beyond that.
Its a free world in my corner. We grew up with that.

If she want to marry a broke widow, provided the spark is there and he is good I will support. What is this all about? Will set them up. Its widely practiced in my place. Nothing new.
Abeg I don tire.

Nash did u ask me a question before?
Why that tone?


BB, so u r trying to show us the ideal thing while we r telling u d reality on ground.
Idealism is how its supposed to be in a man's world but d koko be say, some young chaps do and will still marry a widow with children.
And there is nothing we can do about that.
Gat it?

yellowpawpaw: Nashville, if my 18yrs old says a 60 year old man is her choice, after asking the necessary questions, I will bless her and wish her the best.

Thank you for answering. You have said that you will ask her the necessary questions and that is what a responsible parent should do. That is what the family is doing and some of you have been suggesting it is not their business. The poster said all she told her brother was to think about it wisely, and then you and some others started suggesting it is not her business. In your case, you have said you will ask all the necessary questions - I wouldn't even ask what these questions are and what kind of answers you are expecting. But one thing you have said is that you will not just say "it is her business and she can do whatever she likes". I wonder why you were criticising the OP and her family for showing concern and having reservations when you will do exactly the same thing.

yellowpawpaw: Nashville, if my 18yrs old says a 60 year old man is her choice, after asking the necessary questions, I will bless her and wish her the best.
I rnt a stiff and strict human being.
The way I was allowed to make my choice in marriage w'out interferance(thanks to my mom) is the way I will not interfer in her own.
Nash, u live in a developed country I assume?
A sixteen year old teen in US has made her path and very independent not to talk of 22 yrs.
We so much interfer in others affairs in this part of the world that it has stiffled our development.

The next thing I will hear now is that its part of our culture.

My big aunt married one ugly man like that. Mummy said they asked her why( quite unlike them)and she insisted she loved him. They let her be. That was her choice and she never regretd it.
Her ppe saw an ugly man but big aunt saw beyond that.
Its a free world in my corner. We grew up with that.

Nah!

You don't get it, neither does your explanation cut it here.

We've already got very bigoted views from posters who can't grasp the concept of free choice. Free choice to them = total disengagement and yet they throw big words like idealism and realism without fully understanding what they mean

Nashville:

Thank you for answering. You have said that you will ask her the necessary questions and that is what a responsible parent should do. That is what the family is doing and some of you have been suggesting it is not their business. The poster said all she told her brother was to think about it wisely, and then you and some others started suggesting it is not her business. In your case, you have said you will ask all the necessary questions - I wouldn't even ask what these questions are and what kind of answers you are expecting. But one thing you have said is that you will not just say "it is her business and she can do whatever she likes". I wonder why you were criticising the OP and her family for showing concern and having reservations when you will do exactly the same thing.

And despite all the frenzied advice you wish to give to dissuade the union, if the parties involved decide to go ahead, what other choice do you have if not to mind your own business and move on?

Is that not still the same end result, whether you 'voice' out your concerns or not? To let them be to get on with it??

Does it not still boil down to minding your own business, which ever route you decide to take?? Talk about taking Panadol for another man's headache!

yellowpawpaw: Nash did u ask me a question before?
Why that tone?


BB, so u r trying to show us the ideal thing while we r telling u d reality on ground.
Idealism is how its supposed to be in a man's world but d koko be say, some pple marry and will still marry a widow with children.
And there is nothing we can do about that.
Gat it?

My point is that saying it is none of my business is easy to say online but when the issue is close to home and ramifications of bad decisions can be costly you will get involved

Nash the question I will ask is the questions asked to any intended.
In this case. Poster asked and everybody said no bc she is a baggage.

So its no free choice for him. The family members calls d shot like u guys here r doing.

BB, so with this ur theory, I should take it that everything u have been saying online is false?
If u can't believe anything I say online, why will I ever believe u?
I believe what I choose to believe, u hold on to ur own. Diff cultures and perspective about life. Its not hard to grasps.

yellowpawpaw: BB, so with this ur theory, I should take it that everything u have been saying online is false?
If u can't believe anything I say online, why will I ever believe u?
I believe what I choose to believe, u hold on to ur own. Diff cultures and perspective about life. Its not hard to grasps.

Which theory are you referring to

pickabeau1:

My point is that saying it is none of my business is easy to say online but when the issue is close to home and ramifications of bad decisions can be costly you will get involved

And how did u c it as bad decicions for them.
I've seen where a gal is told not to marry from certain tribe by hour pple. To them its bad decision while to them its not. What r we really talking about.
Is the poster and his pple footing the bill?
Pls go back to the first page and read all the comments there.
U guys hv systematically changed tone.
Just like we said, bless and love them unconditionally, that's ur duty. Don't ever meddle even if its a prostitute.
It they throw missile ur way, simply duck. Its non of ur biz.

yellowpawpaw: Nash the question I will ask is the questions asked to any intended.
In this case. Poster asked and everybody said no bc she is a baggage.

So its no free choice for him. The family members calls d shot like u guys here r doing.

Nobody has said the family should call the shots. All we have said is that they have a reason to have reservations. Now if they go ahead and get married, at least the family will be at peace that they have discussed their reservations and their brother is fully aware of what he is getting into. What I cannot just understand is your original stance that it is nobody's business. If that is the case, then no need asking your daughters all the necessary questions if they are getting married. Abi, it is not your business and they are adults.

On you asking the same questions as any intended. I will paint a scenario for you. Say you have two daughters: aged 28 and 18.

The 28 year old bring home a 30 year old man as her fiance. This guy is good looking, has a great job, a good Christian, loves your daughter very much. He is everything anyone would want in a son in law.

The next day your 18 year old daughter brings home a 70 year old man on a wheel-chair as her fiance. This other man has 12 children and 25 grandchildren. The man is a widower and he is very broke, but he claims he loves your 18 yr old daughter and she loves him back.

Please will you ask both daughters the same questions before giving them away in marriage?

yellowpawpaw:
And how did u c it as bad decicions for them.
I've seen where a gal is told not to marry from certain tribe by hour pple. To them its bad decision while to them its not. What r we really talking about.
Is the poster and his pple footing the bill?
Pls go back to the first page and read all the comments there.
U guys hv systematically changed tone.
Just like we said, bless and love them unconditionally, that's ur duty. Don't ever meddle even if its a prostitute.
It they throw missile ur way, simply duck. Its non of ur biz.

The consequences of a decision unfortunately are in the future and nobody knows
Saying it is none of your business is the issue

pickabeau1:

The consequences of a decision unfortunately are in the future and nobody knows
Saying it is none of your business is the issue

Then let the future take care of itself.
It only needs ur love, support and prayer.

Back to my earlier posts.
I think I'm done.

yellowpawpaw:
Then let the future take care of itself.
It only needs ur love, support and prayer.

Back to my earlier posts.
I think I'm done.

No wahala.....nice debate

pickabeau1: ^^^^ Laugh away....

Its also hilarious that all the e warriors are all hypothetical calling others twisted yet cannot answer a simple question of what they would do if it was their brother or son

NL ...

Something is REALLY wrong.

Someone already said s/he would not mind,infact I posted on this thread because right after that post,you came on with same thing you've been yarning since ; you think s/he is lying bla bla.

My question again, why do YOU find it difficult to accept that some people will react differently? Are you like some demi-god who've done all,seen all?

On what grounds are you labeling others hypocrites just because they don't share same views with you?

You go this way ALL the time. Please,the world does not revolve around your views nor sway to one side. I agree,we tend to hold firm to certain opinions influenced largely by our up bringing, environment etc but its only a fool that would assume the sun rises and sets on one direction.

All this long post....

Its pathetic really that some of you ladies on this section do not fail to descend into insults once you encounter a contrary view

Noted.....