louie3: Mb exhausted.i dey cum o.mk i go buy airtime

Ms Zee: Nice write up op, though I have a little problem with where you introduced the flash back. How can someone be recollecting when he is being thoroughly wiped?
You should have introduced it with him passing out or after the flogging, or don't you think so? The fear and pain of the lashing will not allow him the flash. Flashes are recollections done mostly in the subconscious either partly, induced or wholly.
All the same, nice . . .
Brave up and finish the story. Don't include so many characters it will help since its a,short story

swhiss: life is jst too short to read all of this

Ishilove: Poster, for God's sakes, haven't you ever heard of formatting? Paragraph your work because the jumbled lines is making my head swim!!!

You are also murdering syntax!

louie3: I stayed in mbiama near the river.as i walked towards my house my area people greeted me,some that had beef for me ignored me.finally i was home.but something was amiss,only my compound in that area didn't have light.how come.i trif to change the fuss,no way.another thing my door was also open.i remember locking this door in the morning.abi,mama godspower has opened it again and forgot to lock it.i was too tired to confront her this night.as i entered my room it was like i was entering another world.it was so cold,harmattan cold was not has strong as this na.the whole place was pitch dark though there was full moon outside which would have reflected to my room.i felt a presence in my room.there was someone on my matrass...

Oahray: Bros, dey try put space after full stop and comma na, and begin new sentences with 'capital letter'. Issues with formatting and other stuff do not make for enjoyable reading.

I couldn't read your piece, sorry.